Disclaimer: If by this point in the story (that it to say, the very end) you truly believe that I in some way own any part of Inu-Yasha, it is highly suggested that you go and watch an episode, or pick up one of the manga to refresh your memory as to how things tend to go when those who actually own it write the episodes. Also, we would like to disclaim ownership to the four song lines below that have been borrowed from Flyleaf. And we would also like to point out that we do realize that while we have, in fact, been spelling Tetsaiga wrong throughout the entire story, we would simply like to point out that we realize this and have not in fact been operating under illusions to the contrary. We just think it matches Tensaiga better this way, and for the purpose of promoting their absolute ridiculous-ness, we felt that it was better that way.

"Chorus Romance says goodnight," Tensaiga sang.

"Stop singing copyrighted lyrics and come on!" Tetsaiga insisted.

"Why?" Tensaiga whined.

"Because, I see light!"

"We're dead?" Tensaiga asked, mildly confused.

"Not the light, a light! Sunlight!" Tetsaiga shouted excitedly.

"But I sunburn easily!"

"…"

"Close your eyes and I'll close mine," Tensaiga resumed singing.

"I said stop! Now come ON!"

"Remember you, remember me," Tensaiga continued, blatantly ignoring Tetsaiga.

"That's it! I'm leaving you here!" Tetsaiga snarled, moving forward.

"Oh wait up," Tensaiga sighed.

"That's better."

"You're no fun."

"…far past caring."

"My opinion doesn't matter anymore?" Tensaiga gasped.

"No!" Tetsaiga answered forcefully.

"That hurts," Tensaiga sniffled.

"Stop that," Tetsaiga sighed.

"You're so mean!" Tensaiga wailed.

"Can we please just get out of here?"

"No! Not until you say you love me!" Tensaiga sulked.

"You must be joking."

"Nope."

"…you're cruel."

"It's your fault I am!" Tensaiga accused.

"What? How is it my fault?" Tetsaiga exclaimed.

"-death glare-"

"Fine, fine. I love you. Now can we go?"

"Yep," Tensaiga chirped.

"Brilliant." And he turned the doorknob.

Epilogue

(Of Deaths and Surprises)

I am usually very mild-tempered, bend to the slightest whims of others, and usually go about my day to day life without experiencing anything but pleasant emotions.

That has since ceased.

"You're going to end it there!" I shout, completely disgusted.

And not just because of that crummy, cliff-hanger reminiscent ending, no, but dammit Inuyasha, just admit that you're sitting on Sesshomaru's lap! Half a toe does not constitute sitting on a separate chair!

I have just wasted almost six months of my life. For that!

"Yes," Sesshomaru says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Hardly fair, in my opinion.

No need to impinge upon my intelligence, I can see the obvious just as well as he can. I just happen to have a more firmly grounded grasp on reality. He, however, appears to be going senile.

Or he's simply spent far too much time with Inuyasha. Either/or.

"B-but you can't!" I splutter. Surely one of them has to grasp the fact that what they gave me was not a story. It was like half a prologue of a story, or something equivalent to. They gave me the introduction, entirely exposition!

"Yes, we can," Sesshomaru contradicts.

As a mental note, next time they can write their own damn prologue. I refuse to loose that much sleep ever, ever again.

And for what!

"This is for your benefit, anyway," Inuyasha adds.

Like we can trust anything he says. Sesshomaru has him wrapped around his little finger, he'd back up anything that the dear demon lord spit out, garbage or otherwise.

"Think about it," Sesshomaru tries to reason. Like there's any reason behind anything they do. That defies the good name of logic. "How long have you been working on this?"

"Too long," I say snappishly.

But quietly, because even old and senile they can both still kiss my sorry little demon-fox ass.

We just don't get that big! It's not my fault!

"And we've covered less than a day. Now we could go on for another six months-"

"Six months, two weeks, three and a half days," Inuyasha interrupts. "Er, not that I've memorized the date or anything."

"Of course not," Sesshomaru agrees.

One can only stare.

It's moments like these when you realize why you don't visit them much.

It's a lot of work to resist the urge to gag- understand, they talk like that all the time. All the time.

And then they take a moment to gaze at each other fondly.

God, I want to go home.

"As I was saying, you could stay to here when we first admitted when we loved each other six months after we've left off. From there we could go to the point when we kicked the annoying things out of Western Castle, we could talk about resolving our issues with the rest of your little group a bit after that...

"In fact we could detail each part of our lives up until this point to you. But take a moment and think about it. Six months and we've finished one day. Only one," Sesshomaru says, looking me in the eye.

That's a good point.

"Brilliant ending," I congratulate, meaning all two words with ever inch of my heart that is still beating after being bombarded by their sappy, pathetic, ear-splitting whines and complaints from five hundred years ago.

They nod. Of course, after all, it was their decided ending. I'm sure they're praising themselves for what they probably feel is a brilliant tale.

"I'll be seeing you, then," I say, standing up and turning over the last sheet of paper. One can't help but feel a twinge of pride at the amount of paper that has been amassed.

One can't also help but hope that all hearing will return to the left ear. They are nothing if not…enthusiastic… story tellers.

"Right, maybe we'll come and see you soon," Inuyasha says with a smile.

He and I both know that won't be happening. Sesshomaru knows it too.

They may say they're sparing me (and I won't disagree with that) but in truth, time's up. The blood bond may have brought them together, but now it's killing them, a nasty side effect that Sango never knew about.

Still, as I take one last look at them before I leave and say my final goodbye, I know that it doesn't bother them in the least. Without the blood bond, even Inuyasha would have had a couple hundred years more to live, easy.

But as he laces his and Sesshomaru's hand together, you can tell he wouldn't have traded their years together for even another five hundred years of life.

Normally I'd wince at the sheer corny-ness of that statement. But since I'm going to miss them, I'll let their last memory of me be wince-less.

"Well, good bye," I say and head out the door.

"Hey, Shippo!" Inuyasha calls after me. "Could you check on Tetsaiga and Tensaiga?"

Now if anyone's gone senile, it's those two.

Fortunately for humanity, they remain safely tucked away (like the rest of us demons) in the otherwise uninhabited regions of Japan.

"Will do!" I call back, with a little wave of acknowledgement.

They both smile at me in gratitude. And that's the last time anyone sees them alive.

From Western Castle to the ex-swords' residence, it's a pretty long walk. When Sesshomaru kicked them out, he kept kicking until he couldn't hear them squeak anymore.

But since it was on the way to my house anyway, I couldn't really complain.

However, as I near their little cottage, the situation gets worrying.

There is no noise coming from inside it. Not one solitary random shout.

But worry is short lived.

"We're free!" Tetsaiga cries, stumbling out of the house. "Free, free, free! No more damn dark dimension! No more games, obscure movie references, or scary ass televisions! We're free!"

"Can we go back now?" Tensaiga inquires, coming out after him.

"No!" Tetsaiga shouts, grabbing Tensaiga. "We're never going back, do you hear me! NEVER! I refuse to be locked up with you ever again! NEVER! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN!"

You can guess what happens next. It was something along the line of Tensaiga grabbing Tetsaiga and a loud clicking noise accompanying the locking of the door to the house.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

They seem to be fine.

Time to go home. No more detours.

It's one foot in front of the other until finally I see the thing I've been longing to see more than anything for far too long. My house, fully equipped with my lover inside, waiting for me.

I really missed using this door knob, and walking on this floor, and being kissed by this man.

"So they let you go?" Naraku asks, laughing at me a little but still holding me. Which I was fine with.

"And said goodbye," I reply, feeling a tad depressed now that it was really starting to hit me.

Those dogs had been part of my life for so long; it was going to be weird without them.

"Well, who knows, maybe someday that'll be us, telling our story to some poor unfortunate wretch," Naraku suggests, and I can feel him smiling.

"Please, if I have taken anything away from this experience, it's that torture is still alive and well as a day to day practice," I disagree immediately.

He laughs again.

"Our story's probably to hard to digest anyway."

"Probably," I agree. "But hey, if nothing's emphasized, maybe we could get away with it."

"But I thought we weren't going to tell it."

"To someone else, but we could always write it down ourselves."

"We could. Whatever you want."

Whatever I want?

"I want to sleep," I whine pathetically.

"Then right this way, my love," he says gallantly, leading me toward our bedroom.

I smile sleepily.

There's no place like home, right?

Author's Notes: That's all folks. A big thank you to my beta, Thine-When-Slain, another to my wonderful reviewers, and a slightly less enthused one to Viz Media for bringing over this week's episode that seemed to finish before it had begun- also, for the fact that Sesshomaru is appearing in next week's episode, because it seems to be otherwise irredeemably stupid. But I hope you have all enjoyed this story, and I hope I have no burned out too many of your eyeballs upon finding my little Naraku/Shippo. –grins- We must have our fun where we can put it. And I hope that I can look forward to seeing some of you again mid-May when the prequel fic, Nothing Lost and Gainedcomes out. Also, if anyone is interested in seeing how Naraku and Shippo ended up together, we would not be above writing that…but we're not holding our breath. Anyway, leave your review on the way our and we wish you all a fond farewell. For now, anyway. – Remo

Davinci: Mm, well this is the end, I'm afraid. But thank you, I really enjoyed writing that last Sesshomaru chapter and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

InuSessyYaoiGirl: Speaking of coming to an end, do you happen to know how many episodes there are left of the anime? –sighs- I don't know if I can actually officially say if anything happened this week, it was over (it seemed to me) really fast…but I think Hakudoshi has a chance of becoming a very interesting character. Next week, though! Next week we finally get to see Sesshomaru again! Oh, and I commented on your art on the otaku. Speaking of which, is it okay if I reply to your review for the epilogue through that, since you don't have a penname here? Anyway, thank you!

Blahsblah2001: -grins- well, the Turnip god is vicious, after all. And thanks…well….I think Inuyasha may be smarter than he thinks he is, he simply hasn't realized it yet…

kera: Well, this is the final update, hope to you'll check out the prequel!

All good things end. It's the bad ones that keep coming back.