Disclaimer: Well, you know I don't own CSI, because if I did, George Eads would have done the entire last scene in Gum Drops without his shirt on. But that's just me.
A/N: I know, I know, the episode was a couple (like, three) weeks ago... but, hey, better late than never, right?
Walking sombrely out of Cassie McBride's hospital room, Nick was strangely unsurprised to see Sara leaning against the wall across the hallway, watching the door, a take-away cup of coffee in each of her hands. She sipped from the one in her right, smiling as he crossed the corridor towards her. Wordlessly, she offered him her extra beverage, and he wordlessly accepted, lifting it to his mouth and leaning against the wall beside her, while still clutching the small folded piece of crayoned paper in his other hand. After a few moments of content quiet, the two of them simultaneously drinking their coffee, he finally turned to her.
"Thanks. You should really start charging me for this, you know."
Sara smiled at him. "I'm happy to provide." She gestured to the hand Nick hung by his side, speaking quietly. "Watcha got?"
Busying himself with gulp of coffee, Nick silently showed her, watching her face move into a gentle smile as she opened card.
"Cassie made you a thank-you note? That's sweet."
"Yeah." Nick felt his voice thicken as he took the paper back, slipping it into his back pocket, and tears began to prickle at his eyes. He blinked frantically, watching Cassie through the window of her room and wondering how long Sara had been standing outside. Her hand on his shoulder briefly interrupted his train of thought.
"You wanna get going?" Nick nodded, grateful that she was making the move when she knew he couldn't. The two of them began to make their way down the hallway, Nick fighting the urge to look back over his shoulder into the room where Cassie lay alone. Knowingly, Sara slipped her hand into Nick's as they kept walking, and neither one of them let go until they were in the parking lot downstairs, leaning up against the side door of Nick's Denali, staring across the road together.
"She's gonna be fine, you know. Her nurse said the cut wasn't deep enough to do any long-term damage, and she's on pain medication, and – "
Nick interrupted. "And what?"
"And she'll should be out of the hospital within the next couple of weeks." Sara's smile expressed a tone of finality to what she was saying.
Nick's almost snarled response took her by surprise. "Yeah? And then what, Sara? Then what?" She knew the annoyed quality to his voice wasn't intentional, and that the emotional burden of the days behind them was catching up, but she couldn't help feeling slightly hurt.
"Nick…"
"No, Sara, I'm serious. And what happens after she's released? She doesn't have anyone, remember? She's ten years old and alone in the world, and will never have the normal family life that she deserves again, because of someone's screw-up mistake." Despite the fact that he was almost yelling at her, Sara saw the anguish in Nick's eyes, and the collection of tears he was trying to furiously to blink away. Slowly and instinctively, she put her coffee cup on the roof of the car, and wrapped her arms around him, pulling his trembling body against hers, where he spontaneously collapsed into sobs.
Although a few inches taller than her, Nick suddenly felt very small and vulnerable, held in Sara's protective grasp, her hands gently stroking his back, and her gentle shushing slowly calming him as he tried to regain his composure. His face was pressed against her neck and shoulder, buried in her hair, and, despite his embarrassment, he knew that if he had to break down in front of someone, he was glad it was Sara.
She whispered to him. "I'm sorry I gave up on her." He pulled away, wiping his red eyes and sniffling a little.
"You never gave up on me. Not when it was me."
"It was not your day to die," Sara repeated.
"And it wasn't Cassie's day, either. I told you that, remember?"
Sara thought for a moment. "I didn't want to get your hopes up… or any of ours. You prefer optimism, I prefer realism. We had no reason to think she'd made it."
"She's strong. She made it just fine. She's gonna make it out of this hospital just fine. But that little girl has been left without a family, and without a home. That's not okay."
"Nicky, you can't save everyone." She looked into his helpless expression. "You've done more for Cassie than you had to, Nick. You've done more than you probably should have. You did all you could do, and that's all you can do." His jaw began to quiver again, and she smiled sympathetically, reaching up and wiping his cheek gently.
An awkward laugh escaped Nick, and he sniffed, running his hand through his hair. "Well, I guess that explains the crazy feminine energy." Sara tilted her head questioningly, an amused expression etched upon her face, and he elaborated. "When I, uh, talked to one of Mrs. McBride's coworkers… she told me something about some feminine energy I was radiating, apparently. Freaked me out a little." He smiled uncomfortably, in spite of himself, a hint of a blush diffusing into his face.
Sara reached for his hand again. "You're man enough for me." They both chuckled quietly.
A comfortable silence fell over the twosome for a few minutes, until Nick spoke up again.
"Thanks for not pushing it… with the thing at the station. I know I was a little out of order. And I am sorry."
"I know you are. I didn't mean to get all Grissom on you… God knows I've had the emotionally involved card thrown at me before." She smiled. "I just wanted to make sure you were holding up okay."
Nick sighed. "I was… but maybe only just." He shook his head incredulously. "I just couldn't believe that kid. Life is precious. I realise that now more than ever."
Sara looked solemnly at him, remembering everything she'd felt during and after the incident with Nick before the summer. "Me too."
Pulling her sunglasses out of her pocket and opening the car door, she glanced at him. "You ready to head home?"
"Definitely." He reached for the car door, pausing momentarily, and then smiling genuinely at her. "Thanks, Sara. For everything."
She smiled understandingly at him, shrugging. "Anytime."
Nick felt oddly calm as theydrove out of the parking lot, his mind running through everything that he'd been told at the hospital. He knew that over the few days working the McBride case, life had changed, very slightly, in a way he couldn't quite indentify – and looking at the woman across from him, he knew it wasn't just because of Cassie.