Wolf's Rain fic
Tsume/Toboe
G
-post series fic or AU, however you want to see it.
dedicated to Celeste1
The rain falls from the sky as if a woman is crying from above, and Toboe thinks to himself that this must be it-- his sketches are soaked, his girlfriend just broke up with him, and his life is over.
He walks down the street as a man defeated-- shoulders hunched, hands in pockets, eyes downcast. Even though she was the one to dump him, he still loved her enough to give her his umbrella, and now he stands in the rain as if he had never owned one.
He stops walking when he first hears them. Quiet soft cries, almost drowned out by the drumming sound of water drops hitting the pavement. He listens a moment longer, ignoring the fact that the longer he stands still, the further soaked he becomes. Then he makes a decision and walks to the source.
In-between the two buildings, next to the trashcan, he finds a box of kittens.
There are three of them, all young and mewing piteously as the rain pours in from above. He touches one, and feels it shiver against his hand.
"Hi," he says. Like he has done ever since he was a child, he imagines that he can hear them talking to him, complaining of the cold and of hunger. "It's ok," he tells them. "I heard you when I was passing by." In his mind, they beg for shelter.
He finds himself in a dilemma, because his apartment manager has forbidden his tenants from having pets. The last time Mr. Onzaki caught him with a stray cat, he almost threw him out. If Toboe were not the only one who volunteers to water the front building ferns, he probably would have, too.
The kittens cry. Sighing, Toboe rolls up his sketches in one hand and picks up the small shoebox in his other hand. He'll find a way to explain his actions. Perhaps if he volunteers to clean the rooftop of all the bird shit that's there. For some reason, pigeons frequent the top of Blue Dreams Court, even as Mr. Onzaki frequently chases them away. It may have something to do with the fact that whenever Toboe prowls up there at night to look at the stars, he leaves behind a small pile of birdfeed. Mr. Onzaki has not caught him yet, so he continues to take a small pleasure in watching the baffled landlord constantly complain about the street birds.
His apartment is a bit of a walk away. The box is already a quarter-full of water, and he doesn't want to risk the kittens drowning en route to his home, so he slowly tips the box diagonally. The kittens protest, but the water pours out and he's careful not to let any of them tumble out. When the box is level again, one of the kittens nudges against his hand, grateful. He pets it quietly, and then notices the dark red stain on its fur.
You're warm, the kitten tells him. Like the other one.
Other one?
The kitten mews. The other one. The kitten tilts its head slightly, and Toboe knows where it's pointing. Puzzled, he turns and walks a few feet past the large garbage bin.
On the other side, hidden from the view of the street, are two bodies. The first is dead. The second's fingers are cold, but that was probably the rain more than anything else because they tighten around Toboe's hand before letting go.
--
It's raining and he's not sure if he's awake or dreaming, but there's a young pup in front of him. It nudges him and he tries to move. He stumbles. The pup nudges him again and he finds some unknown strength within himself that he had almost forgotten. He leans against the other for support.
It's raining still when he takes his first, tentative step.
--
He wakes up to feel of a warm cloth wiping at his forehead. When he opens his eyes, he sees a young man watching him with a concerned expression on his face. The young man has long auburn hair and worried brown eyes.
He remembers, suddenly, the sound of gunfire and he sits up so quickly that he almost knocks the boy aside. Fortunately, the boy's reflexes are quick and he moves aside before any contact is made.
He stares at his hands. He can still see traces of blood underneath his fingernails, and he knows that it's not a dream. They were dead. A deep despair threatens to wail up from within him. He squashes it, refuses to give into it, and suddenly he simply feels cold and naked and vulnerable.
Something presses into his hand. It's a warm mug of chocolate milk. He starts drinking it without thinking and then he stops when he realizes that it might be poisoned. Shit. He jerks back and glares at the young man.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
The young man is confused by his question. "You don't like chocolate milk? Do you want to drink something else?" he asks.
He stares at him.
"I'm Toboe," the boy says after an awkward pause. He looks uncertain. "I found you in the alley. What's your name?"
He doesn't answer. Instead, he takes a quick look around the room. It's a small room. The walls are decorated with large, colorful posters. In one corner of the room, there's a large canvas erected. The other side of the room leads into what looks like a kitchen. He looks at himself and finds himself on a beaten-up green couch, stuffing threatening to pop out of the arms. He's wearing nothing but a blanket.
"Where are my clothes?" He's not afraid or ashamed of his nakedness. The question is more like a statement.
"They're drying in the bathroom."
"Who are you?"
The young man blinks. "I told you. My name is Toboe. I'm an art student at the college." There was no need to identify which college; there's only one school nearby in this broken part of the city. The young man returns the question to him. "Who are you?"
He ponders the question as he examines in a detached and clinical manner the new bandages around his thigh, his side, and his chest. He touches each wound and winces with each application of pressure, but he knows that they are not serious. He was not the unlucky one.
"Tsume," he says finally. The other names no longer apply. He is no longer Fourth Street's Dark Claw, East Corner's Leader, or--
The last nickname hurts the most. Gil's older brother. But Gil is dead, and they were never brothers to begin with.
"Did you see the other body?"
Toboe confirms his thoughts. "He's dead. I called the authorities after I brought you here."
Fear grips him. He shakes it off. "Do they know that I'm here?"
Toboe says, "It was an anonymous call. I didn't want to be questioned, and if I waited for them to come, I'd never be left alone."
He looks at him, suddenly understanding. "You've done this before." Toboe smiles tentatively, but he only glares at him suspiciously in turn.
"What do you want?" He sneers and his gaze sweeps over the boy as he does so, taking in his appearance, his age, and his body. "If it's me, I'm not interested. You're just a kid. I never asked for your help, so don't expect anything in return from me."
Toboe stares, not understanding. And then suddenly he does and he's flushing like a virgin and stuttering his reply in a voice that's half-embarrassed, half-outraged, "I never said that!"
He watches at him coolly, although part of him is amused.
Toboe glares at him. "Not all of the students here are like that. I'm not. I have a real part-time job in Up-city." The childish "so there!" is in his voice, but he never says the words. Instead, he says, "I just pick up a lot of strays. You can stay until you're better and then get out." He stands up and marches out of the room, and only then does Tsume notice the dry box of sleeping kittens on the table.
--
Friday morning, Toboe presents his ruined sketches with a half-hearted excuse. The professor accepts them with a contemptuous look, and he knows the grade that they will receive. He asks once more for an extension, is refused, and leaves the class with his head down.
He hears a familiar voice talking and he looks up to see Leara talking to another student down the hall. He hurries to try to talk to her, to ask for another chance, to do something to get her back, but he stops in his track when she gives him a disdainful look and walks away without any other acknowledgement of his existence.
It hurts, but then he thinks of the strays that he picked up the night before, hungry and waiting, and suddenly he has a reason to move on. He buys groceries and then returns home.
--
The door is unlocked. Toboe frowns and shifts the brown bag into one arm as he opens the door with another. Maybe Tsume left? It was not the first time a stray he picked up left without another word.
He closes the door and only then does he notice Tsume pressed against the wall, knife in hand, watching him with a cautious eye. He's wearing his clothes again, though Toboe doubts that the leather fabric is completely dry.
He locks the door and then looks at Tsume. "Did you unlock the door?"
Tsume shakes his head. "Someone came in. I hid in the bathroom. It was a short, fat man. He left after looking around."
Toboe groans. He glances at the table where the kittens are sleeping and then groans again. He drops the bag of groceries onto his kitchen counter, and then addresses Tsume, who is now sitting by the door with closed eyes.
"How do you feel today?"
Tsume says, "None of your business." But he doesn't sound angry or snappy, just tired, so Toboe presses on.
"Are you hungry?" A glance at the table tells him that the bowl that he had left out was untouched. "You didn't eat the soup I left you."
No reply. Toboe finishes unpacking his groceries and then he steps back to look at him.
Tsume is now sleeping. He looks several years older than Toboe, though that could have simply been the life that he was living. His skin is a dark tan color, and his hair is a bleached pale blue.
For some reason, Toboe thinks of a sleeping wolf. The image amuses him. He covers Tsume with a blanket and then leaves his apartment.
--
Mr. Onzaki is not happy.
"You have stray kittens," he says to Toboe. "I told you that pets are forbidden."
Toboe tries to bargain. "I'll clean the rooftops."
"It rained last night. There's nothing to clean."
"It's because it was raining," Toboe argues, "That I took them in. They were drowning." He tries for the offensive. "Besides, you know you're supposed to give notice before coming into a tenant's apartment."
Mr. Onzaki offers a compromise. "Get rid of them and I won't kick you out."
Toboe sighs and leaves. He takes the kittens to the local rundown animal shelter and tries not to hear them crying as he walks away.
--
Tsume dreams that he's a wolf, running in a small pack, escaping danger. The smallest one in their group trips and stumbles and almost falls, and he stops to help it up. Later, they're arguing amongst themselves and angry, Tsume turns to leave. The youngest one tries to stop him, but he shakes him off and flees.
But the young one is stubborn. He stands around, howling, and Tsume can hear the yearning in his voice, asking Tsume to return, saying that he misses him, and it makes him feel warm to hear such concern, even though he sounds so sad--
--and the sound of someone crying wakes him up.
Tsume finds himself leaning against a wall. He straightens up, winces, and the blanket that was on him slides down a few inches.
The soft tapping against the window tells him that it's raining again. But his eyes are concerned with another sound, and he searches until he finds it-- Toboe hunched up, arms around his knees and head buried into his arms, crying.
It's a sad and terrible sound. He can't stand it. "Shut up," Tsume growls. The crying makes him think of Gil, and his throat tightens. "Stop crying!"
Toboe stops and looks at him. He sniffs and wipes at his eyes. "Sorry," he mumbles. He stands up. "Are you hungry?" His voice is raw and painful to listen to.
Tsume grits his teeth, forces himself to feel nothing until he doesn't, and then speaks. "I'm leaving. I just wanted to ask you--"
"You're leaving? But you haven't eaten all day! You shouldn't even be moving around!"
"I didn't ask for your concern," Tsume interrupts. "I never asked for your help, so leave me alone." He stands up, tries not to wince, and then crosses the small room until he stands in front of the erected canvas. "I just wanted to know about this painting."
The image on the canvas is that of a white wolf with golden eyes. He stands in the moonlight looking proud and the forest is split on both sides of the canvas, as if he had found a path in the middle.
Tsume had planned to leave in the morning, but his eyes caught sight of the painting and he found himself unable to leave without asking about it first. The painting touches something inside of him: something buried, something familiar, and something forgotten. So he stayed until Toboe's return, if only to ask about it.
"That painting?" Toboe asks. He is now in the kitchen. "What about it?"
Tsume stares at the painting, feeling as entranced as when he first gazed on it. He's suddenly not sure of what he wants to ask. Only that he feels as if he knows the wolf that's on it, he's seen him somewhere before, and it...moves him, in some way. It makes him feel proud and sad and angry.
"Who painted this?"
"I did." Toboe is standing next to him now. Tsume did not notice his approach, but this does not annoy him as much as it should.
Toboe offers him a hamburger. He looks at it in disbelief. It must have been made while he was sleeping.
"You have to eat something," Toboe says. "There's no point in starving yourself when you can just eat here."
Tsume is about to retort, but he thinks better of it. The hamburger smells good and his stomach is empty, but he makes no move to take it. He glances back at Toboe, who was now eating.
Toboe smiles and then looks at the painting. "So what about this?"
He asks, "Where..." He fumbles for the right words. "Where did you see it? The white wolf."
Toboe frowns. "What was my source, you mean?" He shrugs. The motion is not smooth because of his lanky figure. "My dreams. The source of all artistic expression. Why?"
"He seems," Tsume feels like a fool as he says it, but he says it anyway. "He seems familiar."
His host gives him a strange look. Tsume says nothing.
Then Toboe says, "So do you."
There's a pause as Tsume feels a wave of warmth that heats up into a fiery embarrassment. He glares at the younger man and the embarrassment burns into anger. "Don't make fun of me."
"I'm not," says Toboe. "You do. I'm not sure why. Maybe I've seen you somewhere before." He studies Tsume and suddenly Tsume feels unusually self-conscious. "I can't explain it. It's just a feeling."
He looks away. He understands suddenly what Toboe means, but he doesn't understand why he does, so he ignores the wave of déjà vu that he's feeling, that he feels whenever he looks at the younger man, that he's been feeling ever since he was picked up and brought into the small apartment. Instead, he notices the empty table. "What happened to the kittens?"
When Toboe finally replies, he sounds tearful again. "I had to take them to the shelter." And then Tsume thinks that's why he must be so sad, because not many of the stray animals that enter an animal shelter ever leave it.
He remembers his own position as well. "I should go too."
Toboe says, "At least stay until it stops raining. Because otherwise the bandages are just going to get wet."
Tsume thinks of the kittens-- helpless, defenseless, and lost. He remembers petting one with a blood-covered hand until Gil caught up with him, and then there were shouts and the sound of gunfire. He stumbled back, trying to drag Gil with him, but he only made it as far as behind the trash bin before he heard a gasp; then he felt Gil die and he was the only one left, slumped against the wall, watching as the rain came down and filled his vision. He thinks of a stray dog that he once picked up before, a cute little pup that he never wanted to leave, but in the end, he did.
He looks out the window, and the rain falls endlessly. It would be a long while before the sun appeared again to shatter the pattern of dark clouds.
Finally, he makes a decision.
The outstretched hand is still offering the hamburger on a plate. He hesitates a moment longer, reluctantly takes it, and then has a bite. He feels as if he has done this before.
"I'll stay until it stops raining," he says.
And then Toboe smiles warmly, and Tsume has to stop his own lips from instinctively tugging up in response.