Darkwarrior17: As requested.
Disclaimer: I can't even afford Xbox Live. You think I run a billion dollar company?
One Smashing Vacation
XVIII
The Chapter Where Some Plot Happens
"SOMEBODY GET HIM!" Master Hand shouted, pointing at Captain Falcon.
"Wait, I'm not here to-" Captain Falcon tried to explain, before Marth, Roy, and Link tackled him.
"HIT HIM WHERE IT HURTS!" Zelda shouted.
Five Minutes Later…
"I told you, I'm not here with Samus!" Captain Falcon shouted through broken teeth. He had gotten the crap beaten out of him (somewhat literally), and was now tied up in the living room.
"Oh yeah? Why are you here?" Master Hand asked, pointing his deadly fingers in Captain Falcon's face.
"I have come… to join you!"
"Plot twist!" A voice in background shouted.
"It all started three months ago…" Captain Falcon continued.
Flashback!!
"Get off my ship." Samus said.
"Um, I'm still tied up."
"OUT!"
Five minutes later… Still in the Flashback…
"Great. Now what am I going to do?" Captain Falcon pondered, walking down the streets of Cairo.
"Hey buddy, want a car?" A random person on the street asked him.
Captain Falcon looked at the person. He was bleeding profusely from his head, and the car he was presenting had bullet holes.
"No red flags there. I'LL TAKE IT!"
Yet another five minutes later…
Captain Falcon was driving down the road when suddenly this happened:
"HEY! THERE'S THE GUY WHO STOLE OUR CAR!" Someone shouted.
"HEY! THAT'S THE CAR THAT RAN OVER MY MOM!" Someone else shouted.
"THAT CAR AND ITS OWNER ARE WANTED FOR TERRORISM BY THE U.S. GOVERNMENT!"
"I WANT A CUPCAKE!"
"You can't have my cupcakes!" Captain Falcon said, flooring the break. "Oops." Captain Falcon floored the gas pedal, taking off and leaving an angry mob in his wake.
Flash forward…
"… And that's how you got here?" Link asked.
Captain Falcon smiled and nodded.
"You do realize you crossed two bodies of water?"
Captain Falcon smiled and nodded.
"And you crashed a Double Decker bus through our house."
"Yeah… I don't really know where that came from…"
"And your entire plan was to drive all the way up to England and join us."
"Plan? I just crashed through your house on accident."
"Okay, is any of this story true?"
"Every single word of it." Mewtwo said, walking in through the front door.
"Your tail's on fire." Roy pointed out.
"Yeah… It won't stop burning."
"Here, let me get that." Marth said, and stomped on his tail.
"MIND CRUSH!" Mewtwo shouted, and crushed Marth's mind.
"What happened? We thought you went to kill J.K. Rowling." Zelda asked.
"Change of plans. We're leaving."
"But… I just got here." Master Hand said.
"Yeah… Shame, we could have pushed you off Big Ben." Link said.
"And we never did destroy London Bridge." Roy said.
"Blarg…" Marth said.
"PACK YOUR BAGS!" Master Hand declared.
"Can I come too?" Captain Falcon asked.
"Whatever."
"Mewtwo, did you get beaten up by J.K. Rowling?" Zelda asked, seemingly the only one who cared that Mewtwo had been savagely beaten.
"No. Besides, her fans helped."
"Mewtwo… lost at something?" Roy asked. Everybody stopped doing what they were doing and stared.
"Blarg…" Marth said.
"I haven't lost. This is just known as tactics."
"It's okay, Mewtwo. Everyone loses sometimes." Captain Falcon said. "Could you untie me?"
"I haven't lost."
Elsewhere…
"With Mewtwo out of the way, no one will be able to stop me! AH HA HA, AH HA HA HA HA!" J. K. Rowling cackled.
"Nobody, eh?" Chuck Norris said.
"CHUCK NORRIS? NO!"
"That's right; Mewtwo told me that you think I'm only okay."
"It's not true! That's impossible."
"ROUNDHOUSE KICK!"
Hell…
"J. K. Rowling… That was fast." Satan said, smirking.
"Shut up. I need a new body."
"That's not in the contract. Now do you want pit of torment, or the Fantastic Four treatment?"
"Pit of torment."
"Fantastic Four it is. Crazy! GET THIS ONE DOWN TO HELL'S THEATER!"
"YES SIR, BOSS!"
"Ahh… I love my job."
Elsewhere…
"Heh heh heh… Suck it, Rowling." Mewtwo said to himself.
"What are you talking about?" Link asked.
"Nothing. Let's get out of here."
"Can you un-mind crush Marth? I don't want to carry him." Roy said.
"No."
Two Hours later, at the Airport…
"Where are we going now?" Marth asked, somehow un-mind crushed.
"Home. I'm tired of vacation." Master Hand said.
"But we're still broke!"
"Who cares? By the time this story's done, there will be, like, two more games about us."
"… That actually makes a lot of sense."
"SO AS SOON AS I JOIN YOUR GROUP, WE GO HOME?" Captain Falcon shouted.
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Awww, I miss everything!" Captain Falcon moaned. In somewhat ironic timing, Samus shot Captain Falcon in the back of the head.
"That hit you." Samus said.
"WHY ARE YOU STILL CHASING US?!" Master Hand shouted. "THERE'S NO REASON FOR IT!"
"Um, it's a plot point?"
"No, it's not! You've been chasing us for no reason for seventeen chapters!"
"… He's kinda got a point." Fox said.
"Shut it. I don't need a reason to chase you; it's just something I wanted to do!"
"That's not true." Mewtwo said.
"Oh yeah? What do you know?" Samus asked, pointing her blaster at Mewtwo.
"That you've been in a semi-brain washed state since you started chasing us. And that if you don't point that blaster somewhere else, I will end you amazingly fast."
"Plot twist!" A voice in background shouted.
"Wait, someone brainwashed her?" Marth asked.
"Yeah."
"Why didn't you tell anyone sooner?"
"It's more fun this way."
"You guys know me." Samus said. "You could tell if I was brainwashed!"
"I said half. Basically, they strongly suggested you chase Master Hand around, and, well, 'blow holes in that stupid floating glove'."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?" Master Hand shouted.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?" Samus shouted.
"I told you, it's much more fun this way." Mewtwo said.
"Who brainwashed me? I want to kill him." Samus said.
Mewtwo smiled. "Gentleman, set course for Seattle." He then teleported away.
"…"
Mewtwo teleported back. "What are you waiting for?"
"We need more specific directions."
"Christ. It's the biggest freaking house in Washington State. That specific enough for you?"
"No."
"You know what, now that there's plot in this story, I'm bored. I'm going to go watch Youtube." Mewtwo teleported away.
"…"
Mewtwo teleported back. "Okay, I'm bored with Youtube now. Let's go."
Elsewhere…
"Hey, if Mark Hamill was the Joker… Does that mean Darth Vader is the Joker's father?" Kirby asked.
"Plot twist!" A voice in background shouted.
"No. No it does not. Where did that even come from?" Game and Watch said.
"I… don't know."
"Christ. I'm traveling with the three dumbest people on earth. This could not get worse."
"Hey, want a free Zune?"
"No. No I do not." Game and Watch said.
"PIKA PI!" Pikachu grabbed the Zune and pressed a button. Sleep gas shot out of it, knocking Game and Watch, Pikachu, Pichu, and Kirby out.
"I have the four in Vegas." The guy who had given them the Zune said.
"Good. Throw them in a river somewhere."
"Whatever."
Elsewhere…
"Um, this might seem like a dumb question, but why didn't you jump out of the trailer?" Wolf asked.
"I was asleep." Dr. Mario said. He had not gotten out of the trailer before it had exploded (I forgot about his character for the last six chapters) and was now healing Ganondorf in the back of the ship.
"Whatever. Wolf to base, wolf to base. We have the Greenman and the Doctor."
"Good. Bring them in. I have questions for them both."
"Wait, was that Bill Gates?" Dr. Mario asked.
"No. Get back to work."
"… I'm fairly sure that was Bill Gates."
"It wasn't Bill Gates! Shut up, I'm trying to drive."
At Bill Gates' house…
Bill Gates put his phone down.
"Shortly, everyone will be here. This plan will not fail. I can't have another Zune."
"Hey, I like the Zune!"
"Shut up, foolish alter ego!"
"Plot twist!" A voice in background shouted.
"Someone kill the person who keeps doing that."
Darkwarrior17: This chapter just got owned. Also, for those of you who are thinking "But Heath Ledger's the Joker. When was Mark Hamill the Joker?" He was the Joker in the Batman Animated series. The good one.