Epilogue

As I watched her cry out for her long lost husband, I can't help but feel remorse for what I am about to do, despite the fact that Revan is my friend.

Rena must come first, even if she is his clone.

I love her and I know that as I continue to travel the stars in search of her, I will never give up hope that she lives.

I know that by listening to my feelings, I may have very well doomed the entire Jedi Order to its death. Somehow, it no longer bothers me as much as it once did. By allowing myself to feel from that very moment when I had met Jade to now, as a Jedi Knight looking for his apprentice, I can say that I've felt a great weight leave my shoulders.

Perhaps Revan was wrong—perhaps there is no Unifying Force. All I've seen in the last twelve years has been nothing but death and destruction. It seems to be a cycle that the Galaxy has grown accustomed to.

I look out at the blue swirl of hyperspace now and yet, I feel something stirring within me.

Maybe Tulak was right.

Maybe opening my feelings and purging myself of sole Jedi training isn't the answer to fixing a broken and battered Galaxy.

Perhaps I had been far too justified in the Jedi teachings to ignore the perdition we've opened the Galaxy to. Regardless of whatever doubt I have, what I know is that as long as we have the Force we're going to renew this endless cycle.

Maybe it's for the best that the Sith take over for a few centuries—or maybe it isn't.

I no longer care.

Everything I've fought for—everyone I've loved and sought to protect—is now being tested.

The balance is something that must be attained from within before we can fully attempt to balance a Galaxy filled with eternal strife.

The Unifying Force is a failure and I will never look at it the same way again. It has blurred the lines between Light and Dark, of that I am certain, and though I feel nothing to this old quest, I can't help but feel that I am merely an infinitesimal being repeating an action that will be echoed for centuries to come.

I've come to find that there's a truth to the Galaxy: death is eternal, yet so is love.

Both come hand in hand.

When I find Rena, I can only pray she will be all right. I know the Sith are filled with cruelty after cruelty.

When I find Rena, I will find Lotus.

When I find Lotus, I will kill her and every single creature that seeks to separate Rena from me.

As a Jedi, I have sworn to uphold and protect life, though for years on end, I've willingly taken it without shedding a tear.

How can I slay people who have the chance to turn back to the Light and not shed a tear? How can I call myself a Jedi when I won't give them a chance?

Is it because there is no returning from the Dark Side?

Revan returned, though he had much help in the form of the Masters of old.

Apathy is something that I've grown accustomed to. It has made it a gradual ease to kill someone, look them in the eye and not feel any ounce of remorse or fear.

The first life I had ever taken has now long been forgotten.

There are hundreds of lives with which to replace the first.

Apathy seems to be a void which eases away my pain, and as I continue to kill, so will my void.

If taking a life and being as far removed from emotion is what the Jedi stand for, then I am a Jedi. However, if no longer caring about the lives before me has taken away the very essence of being a Jedi, then I am a Jedi no more.

In my 28 years of life, I've seen enough to know that I can no longer go back to what the Jedi call the Light.

I am not jaded enough to become a Sith.

I'm nothing more than an outcast because of a fool's errand so many years ago that cost me the life of my Master—a man whom was a father to me in every sense of the word.

I'll continue to honour his memory, but I will never be a Jedi again.

When I find Revan, I will help him fight against the Sith.

Before I can do that, however, I will go to Korriban.

There I will find my future and my history.

Tulak, my ancient ancestor, will show me the way to unlocking the true power of the Force.

With it, I will destroy my enemies and devour the very darkness with that same apathetic void within me. I will touch my emotions and unlock the desperate creature that attempts to claw its way out.

By the will of the Force, I renounce my Jedi status and hereby welcome my family's legacy with open arms.

Light Side and Dark Side be damned.

One way or the other, I will find Rena and destroy the Sith.

My dreams have told me this.

I'll be reaching my apex.

Nothing will stop me.

Not even the legacy of the true blooded Sith.