A/N: Hello all, and welcome to Another-Pyx:WPI-Story-That-Will-Probably-Never-Be-Finished. If you've never read my work before, I don't recommend that you do, because I'm told it sucks you in... and then there's no ending! How terribly disappointing for my readers. However, I'm trying a new system, which involves writing the ENTIRE story BEFORE I post any chapters on That's right! I've finally grown a brain! But seriously folks, the only way that this story will never be done is if I get REALLY busy all of a sudden and forget to post it, which is not likely to happen. It's a fool-proof plan!

This was a story that I was VERY happy with, a little parody of the show "The Scariest Places on Earth." This is basically a story that caters mostly to Dib, but the other characters are very much a part of it as well. I thought it was extremely funny when I read the final product, and I hope you do too, because I'm thinking about retiring from the entire fanfiction business altogether. It's not likely to happen, but I was considering it the other day.

So, I will be updating the story every week. That's my schedule. I'm sure it's a reasonable schedule as well. If it isn't... Well, that's just too bad, isn't it?

Another note: I'm sure you will all be shocked to read such things under my illustrious name, but this is NOT a self-insertion. None of the original characters in this story have any resemblance to me or any real aspect of me. Besides that, any original characters in this story play no major part in the plot, their job is to tell various versions of the legends behind the place that Dib and the crew go to investigate, most of them grossly incongruent.

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Jhonen Vasquez or Viacom. I am not profiting in any way from this publication. All character and story rights belong to Viacom. All initiatory and creative rights belong to Jhonen Vasquez. If at any time these rights become void, may whatever god and/or goddess you believe in have mercy on your doomed soul.

The Spookiest Spots on the Planet

Prologue

Dib bounded up the stairs, much to Gaz's annoyance, and hurried into his room, heading straight for his computer. He proceeded to log onto the internet and sat trembling with anticipation. He couldn't wait to know whether or not his suggestions had finally gotten through to the Swollen Eyeball network, and if they had posted his pictures of Zim on the website. He'd been requesting the privilage for weeks, but they had never even answered his emails or letters. Dib wondered what could have been taking so long, and it didn't help that he was terribly gullible about the Swollen Eyeball's attitude toward him.

His homepage blinked in front of him with a flashing email button , chiming "You've got mail!" in a horrendous monotone. Dib's original purpose was lost to the thought that he might have gotten a reply to "awareness about alien scum" thread in... several different forums. To his disappointment, there was nothing in his email about replies to these threads, but something else caught his sharp eye.

"Hey! What's this?" He clicked on the lone link that led to the one message in his inbox, and scanned it over with one eyebrow raised. "Huh? I've been chosen to hunt for the supernatural at Badici(1) Castle? I didn't enter any contests... (2)"

"Dib, if you don't shut up now, I'll have to yank your arms out of their sockets for disturbing me!" Gaz shouted from down the stairs.

Dib's eyes widened at the thought of being armless. "Sorry, Gaz!" he yelled back. Hearing a distinct, animal-like growling, he quickly shut his mouth and clicked the link at the bottom of the email that led to a website sporting a dark heading with the words "The Spookiest Spots on the Planet." Curious, he browsed the site for a few minutes before saying, "Sounds cool! But I've never heard of it. I wonder where this Badici Castle is..."

This growing curiosity led to an extensive internet search on the elements of the show he'd been invited onto and the place he would go if he were to accept. By the time he had finished his research, there was the unmistakable gleam of adventure in his eyes. It didn't take long to go back to the "Spookiest Spots" page and begin filling in his information in an online form, but he almost immediately ran into a problem.

"Team members?" He asked himself, his fingers hovering over the keyboard in hesitation. "It didn't say anything about teammates being required."

"You must really like being handicapped, Dib!" Gaz called menacingly from right outside Dib's bedroom door, before kicking it open and stalking into the room with a vengeance.

"Wait a minute! Do you just wait outside for me to make a noise so that you can maul me?" For once, Dib sounded more annoyed than scared. Gaz wasn't phased, though.

"That would denote that I pay more attention to you than I should. Let's say I have good hearing." Gaz gazed at her fingernails in mock fascination.

"Oh. In that case..." Dib stood up, paused, and ran from the room screaming. Gaz gave him a split second's head start before leaping after him, tooth and nail etended, and foaming at the mouth.

Fortunately for Dib, the only person Gaz respected in the world, their father, walked in a few moments into Gaz's attempt at surgery without a scalpel and persuaded her to stop trying to tear her brother to pieces with her bare hands. Gaz may not have been able to finish her work, but she had been making good time when Professor Membrane ambled in, and Dib was still pretty bruised. Membrane sat them both down on the living room couch and waggled his forefinger at them in a more cheerful than chastising manner.

"Now daughter, I can't have you trying to rip Dib apart! How is he supposed to run the Membrane Empire when I'm gone if he's missing pieces of his anatomy?" The Professor didn't bother waiting for an answer, but walked off toward his home lab with a purpose.

When he was gone, Dib gave Gaz a wobbly grin, difficult to do through his split lip. "Hey, Gaz, I've been chosen for this tv thing, and I need a team. Would you..."

Gaz held a silencing finger up in his face, shaking her head. "At the rate you embarrass me already? What makes you think I'd want you to embarrass me on tv?"

Dib frowned. "Come on, Gaz! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity! We get to look for ghosts and..."

"I don't share your wierd hobbies."

"...and you get a book of Bloaty's Pizza Hog coupons if you make it through the night!"

Gaz had gotten up a moment before and begun walking away from her nuisance of a brother, but when she heard his last arguement, she stopped dead in her tracks. She turned around slowly and retraced her steps until she was standing in front of Dib again, her eyes wide with the prospect of a book of coupons for her favorite resteraunt. Despite her look of awe and near benevolence, Dib flinched and withdrew, afraid of another beating. "... I'm listening."

The beginnings of a smile were emerging on Dib's battered face.

By the time Dib and Gaz had made it to Zim's base, Dib's wounds had miraculously healed (think either the amazing injury capacity of cartoon characters or Membrane's medical prowess) and Gaz had suddenly found Dib much more tolerable. The first thing noted as they both approached the strange abode was GIR was running to and fro about the patch of grass just beyond the tall wooden fence erected around Zim's property, as happy as ever, with the unusual little floating moose following him around, squeaking. They seemed to be playing a game of tag, GIR yelling, "You can't catch meh! YOOOOOOOOOUUU CAAAAN'T CAAAAAATCH MEEEE!"

Dib was understandably hesitant about going through the gap in that fence, and was thinking about a possible alternate route into the base, but Gaz had already charged onto the doorstep and was letting herself in. Niether of the henchmen frolicking in the yard were aware of Gaz's entrance into their master's base without their blessing, so they continued their game. Dib, still nervous about the security system and the fact that he didn't even have his mirrored suit, glanced back and forth and then dove past the gnomes and their dealy lasers that had been trained on him to follow Gaz.

Zim was in disguise and just about to go repair that space satalite on the roof, and perhaps take off a sizable chunk of his nieghbor's house, in an attempt to get some better reception out of the telescope when Gaz burst in on him. When Dib entered soon after, he went from temporarily speechless with anger to downright screaming with rage. "What are you filthy humans doing here? Get out! You pathetic Earthans are just asking asking for your imminent doom! Not that you have to, it being imminent and all...eh..." Zim had already lost interest in his own rantings before they even began, and was even less patient than usual. "It doesn't matter! Computer! Appre- ACK!"

Gaz had lurched forward and taken a fistful of the front of Zim's uniform, slamming him against the nearest wall. Zim was an invader, and wasn't frightened easily, but now he was positively sweating with anxiety, while the girl who had attacked him was looking rabid. "I... Want... My... Bloaty's... Coupons..." Her voice shook with every syllable and she looked ready to murder the Irken if need be.

Zim gulped, but managed to cast a glare over Gaz's shoulder at Dib, who was just standing in the middle of the floor, staring at his sister threatening to beat up someone other than himself. "Call... off your scary sibling, Human-Meat!"

"Well, I don't think she'll let go until you agree to join our team." Dib shrugged before being tackled by GIR.

"YOU'RE IT!" The little robot shrieked, giggling.

"OW!"

"I will never join the filthy earth Navy! I already turned down those dirt scum that called my phone and tried to trick me into fighting for your earth-ness!" Zim shouted, clearly misunderstanding Dib's point.

"Wha- No! I don't mean the Navy! I mean our team, mine and Gaz's! You see, we need another three people, and..." Dib struggled to throw the automaton off of him, but it seemed to get more difficult the harder he tried.

"Forget it, filth! I have more important things to do than play your little games!" Zim had no sooner refused when Gaz tightened her grip and the alien actually choked.

"There's no one else who would even be likely to do this stupid thing, and I want those coupons..." Gaz added still more pressure, and Zim squirmed under it.

"Call... off... the Dibsister!" Zim choked.

"Call off your dumb robot!" Dib retorted, still trying to overcome GIR's unlikely force.

"Ack! Fine! Tell... me... about this... team..." Gaz released her grip and Zim tumbled to the floor, gagging unattractively. Gaz smiled in a satisfactory way at her handiwork.

"GIR! Release the human!" Zim yelled at his servant as soon as his breath caught up with him. GIR giggled and left the room to dance with minimoose, who was still outdoors.

"What have you disturbed the sanctity of ZIM's home for, worm-baby?" demanded the Irken, fists on hips and trying to look as intimidating as possible.

"Yeah... You see, there's this show called "The Spookiest Spots on the Planet" and apparently I won a contest I never even entered..."

End of the prologue! Okay, a few more notes:

(1): If you didn't catch the Italian connotation there, I didn't really expect you to, but I decided to take a common suffix in many of the Italian names I've heard and put the word "bad" in front of it, and voila! Instant ZIM destination.

(2): "I didn't enter any contest..." was a personal joke of mine, because when I was little, I used to think that you didn't have to enter contests, and they just somehow found your information without your imput to enter you themselves, so I was sort of making fun of myself there.

Now, once again, I'll be updating in about a week, and I expect to start off my new chapter with a roaring crowd! Those of you who DO review will probably have to be really loud to make up for those who hated my prologue and don't review.

Blessed Be!

Pyx:WPI