Genre: Humor
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Repost. Even the greatest strategists had to start from somewhere, and Sima Hui's tutelage is the place. But with a mess of differing traits, egos and great minds of these budding geniuses, how can things be anything but anarchic? PG-13 for humor and language.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my excessively played discs of the Dynasty Warriors series, Dynasty Tactics 2 and Romance of the Three Kingdoms VIII. Someone obviously needs to keep me away from the PS2…

This is a repost; the first time I put it on this site was sometime two years ago, I believe. I've decided to bring it back and see if I can't tackle it again.

From the start it will be obvious that this story is set a bit in an alternate universe, as I've compiled a bunch of the officers of the Three Kingdoms that served as strategists, no matter what timeline they came in, into one setting. I know Sima Hui trained only Pang Tong, Xu Shu and Zhuge Liang out of the other personalities that play the students in this story. But for the sake of an interesting plot and comical situations I've added the others that appear here. And I'm probably going to get a bunch of other references wrong since I suck when it comes to history, so feel free to point them out, except for the intentional one I just stated above.

Are we cool with that then? Very good. Now let's get on with the story.

Date Uploaded: 26 October 2005

The Characters (so far...)

Sima Hui - Is a mild-mannered educator who is brilliant when it comes to teaching his students, and yet horribly unattached, even oblivious, when it comes to other, simpler matters of life. His answer to most anything is, "Good" or "Very good."

Zhuge Liang - Undoubtedly Sima Hui's brightest pupil. He excels in everything he does, earning him both admiration and ire from his classmates. His success is made even more astonishing by the fact that he spends nearly all the lectures zonked out, earning him the nickname 'Sleeping Dragon.'

Pang Tong - Is a sly, quiet one whose genius is largely overshadowed by his less than perfect appearance, to put it mildly. He has adopted to covering his face, and yet still never seems to catch a break, having tactics fail time and time again, earning him the nickname 'Fledgling Phoenix.'

Xu Shu - Plays the role of the passive observer, usually overshadowed by his two other friends, Zhuge Liang and Pang Tong, both with personalities that largely dwarf his. Is a bit of a nerd.

Sima Yi - A student who thinks quite highly of himself, Sima Yi sucks up to his teacher and frequently reminds other co-pupils how much better he is compared to them. He is frustrated with the achievements of Zhuge Liang, and is determined to bring him down one way or another.

Guo Jia – Polite and charming, Guo Jia's agreeable demeanor easily throws off the other students. Despite his façade he is actually largely indifferent to everyone else and is blessed with a quiet cunning. He always moves calmly and deliberately, as climate changes, sudden movements and riding in vehicles make him quite sick.

Zhou Yu - The pretty boy of the class, Zhou Yu pretends not to care about his appearance but in reality is quite obsessed about it. He also dislikes Zhuge Liang, due to the fact that all the attention seems to unwittingly be drawn to him, and strives to equal him in the brains department as well.

Lu Xun - Is the baby-faced pipsqueak of the group, although is rising in the ranks faster than one would expect. Because most of the other students are fixed on trying to outdo Zhuge Liang, he has gone unnoticed for a while and has sneaked in a couple of victories of his own from the side.

Jiang Wei - the bumbling newest kid, who also has a penchant for being late for positively anything. Seems to always be apologetic for everything he does and has a tendency to act like a total doormat for the more senior pupils, most especially Sima Yi and his newest idol Zhuge Liang.

Lu Meng - The closest thing to a jock among the students; he seems to excel more in hacking and slashing rather than tactical planning. Actually does quite well in lessons as long as he puts his mind to them. Is more than a little rough around the edges and as a result annoys both Lu Xun and Zhou Yu.

Yue Ying - Despite being homely, Yue Ying may be the brightest student in class, although seems to always get overshadowed by Zhuge Liang. This may be because her ideas are often unorthodox and causes her fellow pupils to scorn them. Let's see if they keep laughing once that first Juggernaut is built.

Zhang He - Lithe, graceful and flamboyantly gay, no matter how much he persists on denying it. He considers himself merely a man in touch with his feminine side, insisting that lessons in art and flower arrangement makes it easier to score chicks. Right, we all believe that. It doesn't help that he usually gets into 'I'm prettier than you!' arguments with Zhou Yu.

> Little Note: Lu Meng, Yue Ying and Zhang He were added to the list after reviewers from the first posting of this story suggested that they be put in. Guo Jia didn't make the first cut, but I'm putting him in now.

Chapter 01: A Less Than Lively Lesson

In a simplistic farmhouse a few miles from the Tan Torrent, the rustic sage known as Sima Hui, the Water Mirror, conducted a lesson in front of about a dozen youngsters. All of them were bright, eager to learn, and followed the lecture as diligently as they could, ignoring the noises outside and focusing instead on their teacher's wise words.

Well, all right, so not all of them were as attentive as you would expect.

Lu Xun's stomach rumbled. He bit his lip and silently willed for his hunger to go away. He cursed himself for skipping lunch to go train at the barracks. And all for what? After trying to master his Spearwall tactic he had accidentally lost his footing on a scaffold and ended up flailing dangerously, only to land on top of Sima Yi, who promptly shoved him off and began to berate him like the overbearing chumpstain that he was. It had taken the reminder that they would be late for class for Sima Yi to shut up and hurry along.

Speaking of Sima Yi, the egotistical scholar sat in his place, feigning interest with the instruction when he was actually bored out of his mind. Still, it wouldn't do to let the master know that, and so he leaned forward in his seat and took notes, somehow refraining himself from doodling or concocting plans on how to disparage that loathsome Zhuge Liang in front of his master's eyes.

Out of all the students in the room, only Zhuge Liang was having no trouble focusing or understanding the lesson. This was largely in part because of the fact that he was outright sleeping, his head lolling back and his mouth half-open. If Sima Hui could see this he certainly didn't comment on it.

Pang Tong had resorted to amusing himself by stripping tiny pieces of his writing parchment, rolling them into balls and trying to shoot them into Zhuge Liang's open mouth. Of course if he scored a perfect bullseye his friend would no doubt wake up sputtering in anger, but that seemed inconsequential to him as he continued doing it, the impish grin on his face hidden by his usual scarf.

One of his makeshift ammo bounced off Zhuge Liang's chin and promptly flew into the eye of Xu Shu, who had to stop writing to brush it away with a wince. He turned to glare at Pang Tong, who simply flashed him an apologetic sign that certainly was not sincere. Xu Shu sighed, shook his head, and turned back to concentrate on the lesson and ignore his immature comrade.

Near the back Guo Jia was unabashedly staring out the window, making it quite clear that his head was nowhere on the lesson. It was much too hot for him and he feared that he might come down with a fever. Besides, he had read through this lesson a week ago and as such was possibly the most informed of the topic among those in class. Now he shifted, gave a small yawn and fanned himself languidly.

In the middle of the room and hardly dazzled by the lesson either was Zhou Yu, who had become more preoccupied with checking his appearance in the mirror that was unfortunately situated in a place on the wall where the uncommonly good-looking youth could admire his features from his vantage point. He would have to stop sitting in this seat in the future if he intended to keep up with the lectures; seeing his reflection served as too much of a distraction.

"… And that concludes our session today on the advantages of how weather patterns can aid in battle." Sima Hui said, signaling the close of his class for the day. "Now then, are there any questions?"

Sima Yi nodded. "Master," he spoke up in a pompous voice, "perhaps you could go over the useful tactics on how to predict rainfall days in advance again? It seemed vague to me, and probably to Zhuge Liang as well, as he seems to have decided to forego any advice and let the rains come and drown him in his sleep."

All attention shifted to the snoozing Zhuge Liang. Zhou Yu let go with a small snicker, as well as a few other students. Pang Tong stopped in mid-throw and attempted to adopt an angelic posture.

Sima Hui seemed unbothered by Zhuge Liang's behavior and simply smiled. "Maybe tomorrow, as we have already taken up too much time today. Is that all?"

When there were no other questions, he nodded. "Well then, I expect that all of you will practice the techniques I have already taught you, although please take care when attempting blaze or magic. I do not want any more repeats of the abrupt bushfire that nearly ignited houses within the outskirts of the village."

All eyes turned to Pang Tong, who could be seen smiling sheepishly, even through his scarf. That was the last time he got distracted by a shooting star while he waited for his practice fire to grow.

"Are we all clear on that?" Sima Hui inquired. When nods and noises of affirmation echoed around the room, he smiled. "Good, very good," he bowed to them and exited the room.

Sima Yi snorted in disgust at his teacher's laxness, but collected his things and followed, hoping to catch him before he went to relax and have tea. All the students also started to file out.

Zhou Yu stopped by Zhuge Liang's place to poke the latent scholar in the shoulder and in effect startle him awake. "The lesson has ended for the day; maybe now you ought to go home and make yourself even more comfortable by taking a nap on your bed this time, instead of the classroom."

"That's a wonderful idea, Zhou Yu," Zhuge Liang said with a yawn, rubbing his eyes. "I'll be sure to put your advice to good use."

The handsome youth scowled at his nonchalant backtalk and left the room. Lu Xun had skipped off before him, deciding to go see if he could buy himself a meat bun or two before he started honing his skills at home.

"They sure don't call you the Sleeping Dragon for nothing," Pang Tong commented in his usual sly tone, grinning at Zhuge Liang.

"You ought to refrain from dozing off in class; Master is not going to turn a blind eye forever," Xu Shu reprimanded. "Besides, Sima Yi does not need much prompting to point out even your most miniscule faults to Teacher."

"Sima Yi is critical of everyone except for himself," Zhuge Liang said, brushing himself off and wondering why tiny balls of paper seemed to have covered his garments. "Now then, where are we headed off to now?"

"We have to get something to eat first," Xu Shu said with a grin. "I'm famished."

"I second that motion," Pang Tong said, swinging to his feet. He turned and spotted Guo Jia gathering up his things. "Hey Fengxiao, want to join us? It could be your treat."

Guo Jia laughed. "No, I'm afraid this heat is not agreeing with me, and aggravating it further by staying outside won't be wise. I'll take a rain check this time. You three have fun, though."

"Suit yourself," Tong said, as Jia passed by them and tilted his head before exiting.

"Afterwards maybe we should go to the barracks and see if we can't train a little bit," Xu Shu also recommended as the three of them also started making their way outside.

"A fine suggestion," Zhuge Liang said, smiling as he rubbed the last of sleep away from his eyes. "But this time, Pang Tong, I will light the fire."

"I make one mistake with the fire…" Pang Tong complained as he and his two pals stepped out the door and into the village.