Disclaimer: Hey! No, I don't own Teen Titans… I own Zavier (Red X's secret identity) I love Zavier.
Title: For Number One
Chapter: 11: Good Bye
And the Winner is… fadextoxblack! Yay, you 3.
(SBM: Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung and Meant To Live by Switchfoot)
o0Raven0o
Robin came. I couldn't gather enough power to move, but I heard his R Cycle, I heard him scream my name, "Raven!" Always so worried… Why was he always so worried?
A better question- why was it he was always the one who came?
… And didn't I call Cyborg?
He ran towards me, frantically trying to help me, get to me. My wings whipped around, lashing at him, telling him to get away. My eyes became heavy, and I knew this would be the end, my powers would kill me, no one else could… "No!"
Snap. My orbs shown a bright and frightening lilac as I absorbed his chilling shout.
"Raven! Snap out of it! Come here! Come… To me," His voice had been so strong, but why did it grow so weak at the end? Of course I would come. I always came… But right now, I couldn't… Even if I wanted to, I couldn't gain the strength to pull my energy back within myself…
"Rae…" What was he doing? Why now? No… No, stop this. It isn't the right time… Right? "Raven, please, don't think things like that. You worry me, worry me so much sometimes I don't think I can stand it..." Our bond. I looked into his eyes as he fought off my stabbing feathers. My scream of pain, his tear of love, "Raven… I love you."
Stop.
Everything stopped. It seemed like my emotions were frozen in place as I stared dead into his eyes. He edged over to me, never dropping his gaze. He smiled, pulling me to him quickly, thanking the man upstairs I was still conscious. He hugged me closer than he ever had before, and nuzzled his nose to my neck, soaking up my scent like a sponge. My breathing was heavy. He waited there, soothing me, coaxing courage back into me… He had told me, he had actually told me.
"Robin…" My voice was coarse. I had been lying in his arms for a while, and now I raised myself from him, making me miss his warmth, and vice versa, however faint it had become.
This was it. We would live happily ever after. I would tell him I loved him.
"Let's go home," I said it with a hidden, friendly smile… But that was all.
Had she not heard me? Did she not care? Was this rejection?
He gave me a dejected look before scooping me up and carrying me bridal-style to his R-Cycle, unaware of the disappointed frown on my face.
I had heard him… Now I had to choose.
o0Raven0o
We got back home and everyone seemed angry with me, I guess I can't blame them. They probably think I betrayed them all, but I apologize and four months later we're all happy again…
I'm sitting next to Robin, his arms around me, and everyone is laughing and drinking, celebrating the fact that Cyborg and Bumblebee are engaged. Engaged, I can't believe it. She just turned twenty! But they look so happy together…
I haven't heard from Zavier since that night. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know where he is. I worry about him all the time, and I'm always asking myself… Did I make the right choice?
Robin and I are practically inseparable, night and day. I'm happy. I've never felt happier in my life, but I'm still worried. I still miss him.
The party drawls on, Starfire is dancing on the table while Aqualad frantically tries to calm her. The woman simply cannot hold her liquor… Beast Boy is playing poker with Speedy and the twins…
"Cyborg and Bumblebee are sneaking off," Robin whispers with a laugh.
"I wonder where they could be going," I roll my eyes, turning my gaze onto him.
He smiles, and looks me in the eyes, I smile back, but only half-heartedly. He frowns, he always knows…
"What's up?" He rubs my arm in a joyous way, trying to cheer me up, "What's on your mind?"
I heave a sigh, but I simply smile, "There's never anything wrong when I'm with you," I say, pushing myself up from the couch a bit to give him a kiss. We kiss for a while, and I realize. I shouldn't think about Zavier anymore. It was all a lie. It wasn't ever real. This is real. I love Robin. I always have.
o0o
It's so hard to stay away from her.
I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.
Slade has unknowingly instructed that I watch over her, and I stupidly accepted the job. Now I watch as she doesn't spend the nights in her room, but in Robin's. I know I had taken this job to get paid to be closer to her, but now it's just torture. There was never any love or feeling after mom died, never feeling until she slammed into my life, or was it I that crashed her party?
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.
Two more months pass happily without any word from Slade. Robin knows he should be worried, but he is just too happy. He's come to realize that no matter what, they would all be in danger, and it wouldn't be greatened by the world knowing how much he loved her. What was the point of living if not for this reason?
I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
Ignorantly, the titan's lived on, and moved back into the original Titan Tower that Cyborg had spent the past two months remaking, with the titan's help. Things were headed back to normal, normal except for the fact that they had switched Aqualad and Cyborg… It somehow just felt wrong. It felt like they were growing up, like they were moving on…
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me.
I'll put a spell on you…
o0Zavier0o
Raven Roth was a painstakingly beautiful girl, half of her allure being her magnificently mysterious and rebellious aura. Though I did not take part in as much of her life as a certain Boy Blunder, as she referred to him. She has helped me fill my gaps, and now I seek to finally fill hers. This would of course, be the final step, my final gift to her, and though she would kill me if she knew I was doing this, I have to make sure her story is clear before I am forced to say adieu. And to make a final note, she will soon know, I wasn't just looking out For Number One.
Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first.
She hates me now… I've failed again, and in my twisted sense of humor, I'm starting to think we are not meant to be together… I love her, though. I've never loved so much, I never thought I could. But I do. I love her enough to keep her happy, I love her enough to do what's right.
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes.
It breaks my heart to do this, but do I have a choice? She's going to turn me in… She's going to fight… Against me. With him. By his side. Once I give them this letter, I'm gone… I'll leave her to be happy, and not feel regret or guilt, I didn't mean to bring that upon her. I love her.
But I know that waiting is all you can do.
I seal my letter tightly, securely the way I had been taught. I had decided to deliver it in person, or at least drop it under his door myself. I take out a folded piece of paper, it was a poem she had written, and thought she had lost. It was a poem I had found while snooping through the ruins of Titan's Tower after Slade's damage. It was a poem about Robin, about the day he helped her save the world. How could she not love him over me, a man she had just met?
Sometimes…I had planned to simply slip the note and the poem under Robin's door, but low and behold. Someone had gotten in the way of my plans. Someone I should not have taken lightly.
o0o
Things were back to normal. Completely and utterly back to normal. The feeling of a cast shadow loomed over their heads as they all thought the same thing. Where was Slade? What had happened?
Even though they all knew it was coming, it was still a shock that stayed with them even after they stood face to face against their top enemy.
"Well, my dear friends. Did you miss me?" He asked in his familiarly coaxing manner, narrowing his single visible eye.
"What do you want, Slade?" Robin balled his fists, ready to attack.
"Why, I thought it quite obvious…" His eye shot toward one of the high windows of the warehouse, "It seems that an uninvited guest is trying to ruin our fun," Robin shot an instinctive glance just as Slade lashed out onto none other than Raven.
Crash.
Red X came crashing out of that very window, blocking the fire bolts with an expanding red ball.
"Zavier…" Raven was wide eyed.
Robin whipped around as everyone's eyes turned to the thief.
"Ah, what a nice reunion… I'm sorry I'll have to spoil it." Slade chuckled as his army emerged from the shadows.
"Damn. Titan's go!" Everyone sprawled out, flogging every robot in sight. It was routine and simple, and yet Aqualad looked out for Starfire as Red X trailed behind Raven, Robin glancing worriedly as he fought off Slade.
"Raven, I've missed you," Zavier said quietly, bashing in the head of one of the robots as he ran beside her.
Her jaw tensed and her brows furrowed, but she didn't respond. Was this all part of his plan? What more could he do?
'He broke my heart'
"Raven, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you-"
"Will you just stop it?" She launched herself toward another adversary before turning her head fiercely to meet his gaze, "What more can you do? How else could you hurt me?"
"Raven, I'm sorry."
"Liar!" She shouted, Using a full blown energy to blast out a ring of robots. She was too caught up in her emotions to notice how no one was attacking either of them, "… You tricked me."
"No. It's true in the beginning, I was in alliance with Slade, but you were never part of our plan!"
"Don't be so sure of that," Slade snickered as everyone started again. "You may not know it, but Raven is still in love with Zavier."
Fumbling his confidence
Robin's lip curled as he shouted frustration, pushing Slade away and dashing toward Red X with newfound aggression.
"Robin!" Starfire screamed his name, running with Raven to separate the two. It was useless, they thrashed around. Robin striking and Red X dodging. It was pointless.
And wondering why the world has passed him by
"Stop!" Raven uttered, standing to their left. "Stop…"
Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments
And they did. Zavier stood back as Robin walked toward Raven.
But then Slade surprised them again, he swooped over them, grabbing both masked men, knocking them out in unison, throwing them on opposite sides of the roof.
"Now I finally get the two apprentices I've desired from the start. You four, I won't need."
"Titans, go!" Raven commanded, both girls bolting at him.
Starfire was thrown off by his flames, falling rapidly unconscious and luckily saved my Aqualad. This was not going well.
Beast Boy morphed into a pterodactyl, clawing as best he could. Raven lashed at him, too angry to even use her powers.
Bam. She's down.
'He's too strong… We're going to lose…'
And failed attempts to fly, fly
Raven looked as Beast Boy fought tooth and nail to defeat him, to protect them. She looked at Aqualad trying to heal Starfire. She looked at the two men she loved more than herself.
'No…'
Slowly, she got up, flying to Robin, lying directly above her. She healed him as quickly as possible, feeling her strength revive him and leave her.
Slade had quietly taken down Beast Boy, and no one noticed. Slade turned and looked at Raven, her glowing hands on Robin's chest. He raised a hand as Red X slammed into his side, knocking them both almost completely off the roof. Both gripped onto the ledge as Raven ran toward Zavier.
"Z. Grab my hand." She knew she was losing power, she had to be wise in choosing what to do with it.
Slade again aimed his arm toward Raven, who had successfully gotten Zavier fully onto the roof. This time, Robin came to help her, he threw his bird-a-rang, catching Slade off guard. Again, they were in combat.
"Raven…"
"Shh," She quieted him, feeling his weakness and using the rest of her power to heal him as well. She knew they would protect her. She knew she didn't need it now.
Zavier smiled, taking off after the battle now taking place on the ground. Both tackled Slade, the two rivals joining forces and actually thinking they had finally gotten him.
We were meant to live for so much more…
"ZAVIER!" She screamed, running toward his flaming body, trying to put out the flames with her cape. Slade laughed, angering Robin into an even deeper frenzy. Even if he knew Zavier loved her, he couldn't see her this hurt. It wasn't right.
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside"Now, now. I'm helping you win," Slade chortled in his taunting voice.
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside"Zavier," she cradled his head in her lap, summoning her powers, knowing they would not come, "No…" She cried. Her eyes scanned his burned body, every inch was scarred. It was like leather, rough but fragile. He wouldn't make it. She knew, so she cried.
"Raven… I'm sorry."
"No." She shook her head violently, "… I love you."
And she kissed him, kissed him as he died in her arms. He ran a burned hand over her cheek, remembering every moment. She let out cried of pain between breaths, but wouldn't let go. She couldn't. She kissed him until he couldn't kiss her back.
We were meant to live.
And then she screamed, fueling Robin to finally Slade him so hard, he did not retaliate. And then he finished the job.
Slade was dead. Zavier was dead.
The war was over.
o0Robin0o
Everyone went home quietly. Starfire and Beast Boy were rushed into the medical lab. As soon as we got home, Raven locked herself into her room, saying she needed to regain her strength and meditate. But I knew. I'd sit outside her bedroom at night and hear her cry. They were always muffled and hidden. When I'd knock on her door to offer her breakfast, lunch, dinner… She always gave a choked "no thank you." It tore my heart.
Dreaming about Providence
I was losing her. The team was losing her. She had gone into a withdrawal and after a full week of the team not seeing her, I opened her door by force. She was there, sitting on her bed, a leather book in her hand.
And whether mice or men have second tries
"Do you know what this is?" she asked me quietly, weighing the book in her hands.
"No…" I responded just as softly, sitting down next to her.
"Zavier gave it to me. I think it's a book about us."
Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open
I furrowed my brow and she closed her eyes.
"It's a story about a girl who is in love with a man she'd known since childhood, only realizing her feelings when another man came, who she had befriended immediately. The two men fought constantly when together, and so she felt torn… She felt like either way, she couldn't please them, because… She loved them both so much," Raven sniffled, running her thumb across the binding.
"How… How does it end?" I respond hesitantly. I feel like this is it. This will tell me whether or not she loves me, whether we can be together.
"I don't know yet… The book won't show it to me."
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken
"Oh… Raven-"
"You know I love you, right?" I look at her in shock. Why am I shocked?
Her hair falls around her face, framing her eyes set in a cute swirl of determination and true honesty.
I smile, "Yeah. I love you, too."
I kiss her lightly, and then she cries in my arms.
o0o
Everyone is happy to see her again, everyone sees her laughing and smiling and living life like someone who loves being in it.
But inside she's sad. So sad. And she doesn't get it.
Until finally, Zavier's book has let her read the ending.
Everyone sees her walk to the highest point above the ocean, getting ready to meditate. Robin watches her through the window as she stands at the edge, looking down onto the white wash and spray of seawater as it splashes against the rocks. He watches her, secretly imagining her after their married, what their child would be like. He already has names all picked out. They're perfect.
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah
And then she spreads her arms wide, wide like an angel spreads her glorious wings… And she jumps.
"RAVEN!" It's too late. By the time they reach the edge, they see her resting body over the rocks. She looks peaceful.
'No! This isn't right…'o0o
"… A book?" "It's my favorite. It will help. Trust me,"
Robin walks into her old room, lying on her bed and crying on her pillow.
'I love him. But I don't want to anymore. I want it all to stop.'
Why did she do it? The were so happy…
"You know I love you, right?"
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live insideHis hand touched leather, and he saw the book…
I cannot understand. Why did he have to die? Why him? I can't stand it. I look at Richard and I know he feels my loss, but at the same time, he is happy. He is happy because of me. I hide my pain and he thinks everything is fine. I am dying inside. There is no other way to put it. I am deceiving Richard, I am lying to him, and I can't take it anymore. I miss him so much…
I had a dream that our souls found each other, and that we would fly like angels and soar with the moon on our wings, keeping the Goddess of the Moon close and safe. For she kept us together.
I just wish to get this life over with and start over again in the next.
We were meant to live…We were meant to live…
o0Author's Note0o
THE END
Sorry this took so long, but the ending was just so hard. I had many different ideas and I had written them all out before choosing this one, so I hope you liked it. And if you want the other ending I had written, ask me for it. Maybe if enough people like the other ending, I'll replace it. But I am really proud of this one. Anyway, I'm just so happy because I had wanted to finish this and get it out before my birthday (June 1st), and I can't believe I've done it!
THANK YOU ALL FOR READING! I LOVE YOU GUYS!