Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Please don't sue me. If you possess the copyright, just have your legal representative send me a C&D and this will be gone before you can say "intellectual property."

Summary: Ikkaku & Yumichika talk about beauty.

Characters: Ikkaku, Yumichika

Warning: Implied relationship, here. And it's between two guys. Oh, the scandal.

Aesthetics

Upon reflection, Ikkaku realized that there had been too much sake. At least he didn't have any hair to hold back. As he retched into the basin provided by a merciful member of the fourth squad, he considered his companion.

"Hey, Yumichika, you doin' alright?" He called through a bit of cloth screening so that they could maintain the illusion that they were alone in puking their guts out. It had been Yumichika's idea.

His friend called back promptly, his voice a bit more strained than usual, "yes, I am," a pause, and an audible gag, "quite fine. The truly beautiful people of this plane do not allow their bodies to," another pause, "purge themselves, no matter how strong the desire. A sharp mind is required to keep a beautiful body in line."

A thought occurred to Ikkaku. It had occurred quite a few times, but there never seemed to be a good time to ask it. There probably never would be a good time, so now was as good as any. "Yumichika, if you only associate with beautiful people, why," he took a deep breath, nausea temporarily forgotten," why are we friends?"

There was a long pause from through the cloth. He imagined his friend straining against the urge to barf while also thinking of the best way to phrase the response, to let him down easily. It was, after all, against Yumichika's code to be truly mean, though he was often incidentally cruel.

"Ikkaku, you miss the point. I do only associate with beautiful people. You are in my squad, of course."

Well, that explained that. As he was reflecting on the ramifications of this, of what this meant for his hopes, Yumichika continued:

"I like to imagine, though, that I would willingly associate with you in any case. Your features are beautifully defined, and you have an air about you of dignified strength. You do not break my rule, Ikkaku."

Dignified strength, eh? "After we work off the side-effects of last night, do you want to do it again, only in moderation?" He no longer felt as sick, and the pounding in his head had reduced to a dull throb.

"Moderation is a mark of beauty, Ikkaku. That sounds like a wonderful plan."

"I promise that I will not vomit after we kiss this time."

"That sounds like a good amendment to tonight, Ikkaku. You almost hit my shoes."

End

A/N: Ikkaku is so very gay for Yumichika. Yumichika is just (pretty, witty, and) gay. Also, since I wrote a story about getting drunk, I wrote a story about hangovers. The cosmic balance is maintained!

This is merely the opinion of this humble story-writing vessel.

Constructive criticism is, of course, welcome. Otherwise, I wouldn't be posting this publicly.