I have made it through the hurricane and now four days later there is electricity down at the local Barnes and Noble, so here I am, finally back at my computer, and posting the last chapter of this story, which has been trapped in my lifeless computer all this while. Being able to post a chapter to FF makes life feel almost NORMAL again.

This is the end of this story, but I have another one almost completely written (Ethan and Veruca as Goths) which I will release slowly during the month of November, so I will provide some amusing material during the NaNo month, when I shall actually be otherwise engaged.

BTW, Juan Pablo, I can't seem to get through to you by e-mail at the moment, it may have something to do with the fact that I am not on my usual server, and also you seem to be having problems with your connection as well. Write back, and we will have to figure this out!

And now, on to the last chapter of Just Stop---which by the way, has been a blast!

-

-

12:30a.m.

Gordo was still staring at the hand knocking on the passenger side window when suddenly a face appeared. It was Miranda. He heard her jiggling the door handle as she said, "Gordo! Let me in!"

Gordo closed his eyes and sighed. Yes, he wanted to let Miranda in. More than anything, he wanted to let Miranda in. Yet he hesitated. Letting people in was scary. Look what had happened with him and Lizzie. And what about his parents? They all wanted to take over his life, and then he ended up resenting the intrusion. Did he want to take that chance with Miranda?

He must have locked the door when he got into the car. He didn't even remember doing it. It was instinctive. Miranda kept jiggling the door handle, saying, "Gordo…Gordo…please…"

Hoping he wasn't going to regret this, Gordo unlocked the door and let Miranda in.

"Gordo---" she began, then stopped short, when she saw his face, blotchy and swollen from all the tears. "Oh… Gordo…" she breathed.

He put his hands over his face, to hide. For a little while, neither of them said anything, and Gordo was relieved to find that he had his crying under control. At least for the moment. Miranda was very good about not pushing him to talk until he was ready. But when he was ready he said, in a shaky voice, "Miranda, did I…did I just break up with Lizzie?"

"'You're ruining my life! I can't believe I've wasted so much time on you. If I never see you again, it won't be soon enough.'" Miranda repeated his words from earlier, then commented, "Yeah. I guess you pretty much broke up with her."

Gordo sighed heartily. "Is she okay?" he asked, his voice breaking.

"She's going to be okay," Miranda said. "Are you?"

Gordo looked down and didn't answer. Having Miranda here, talking to him, asking questions, made him feel like he might start crying again, and he certainly didn't want to do that in front of her.

"Gordo…" she said gently.

"I said that?" he asked incredulously. "I really said that? I don't remember."

"You said that… and a whole lot more," Miranda informed carefully.

"I did? Oh God! Miranda, I'm afraid to ask. I remember so little of what happened. What else did I say?"

Miranda took a deep breath. "Well, there was a whole lot of stuff about Lizzie, about her pressuring you to have sex---"

"Oh, God!" Gordo wailed. "I said that? I said that in front of everybody?" That's it, he decided. He was moving to China.

"But after that, you sort of went off on this tangent about how much you hate running track, how stupid it is. And then you went off on your teachers, and poor Mr. Simon the Guidance Counselor, who's always been so nice to me, Gordo, I don't know what your problem is with him.

"And then you really laid into your parents. I mean, you really laid into them, Gordo. All about the SAT's and the Ivy League schools and a bunch of other stuff about playing the violin and pre-med and Little League and car insurance. I don't know, after a while it got kind of incomprehensible. And then…and then…oh, Gordo…"

She said "Oh, Gordo" because now he was crying again, his face in his hands, unsuccessfully attempting to hold back a series of giant sobs that made his whole body shake.

"Oh, Gordo…" Miranda said again, and she laid her head against his arm, wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him as hard as she could.

This was worse than before. This was the absolute worst. But then, because he knew it couldn't get any worse than it already was, Gordo suddenly felt free to go with it, to just let it happen. Miranda had already seen the worst, so why try to hide any longer?

Besides, he didn't give a crap anymore what anybody thought about him. He was way past that. He was moving to China, anyway, so what the hell did it matter?

It took a while, but finally Gordo seemed to be all cried out. Miranda loosened her grip on him a little, and he took his soaking wet hands from his eyes, wiped them on his pants, then reached up and squeezed her arms in thanks.

"Do you feel better?" Miranda asked quietly.

"Not really," Gordo said. "To tell you the truth, I feel like shit. Like absolute shit. I can't face anybody ever again. And I can't do any of this any more, Miranda. I just can't do this anymore."

"Can't do what, Gordo?"

"This! My life. I just can't do it. I don't want to do it anymore."

"What are you saying, Gordo? You're not saying---?"

He laughed a little, very sadly. "No, of course not. I'm way too much of a coward for that."

"No," Miranda said. "I think you're way to smart for that. And because you are so smart, I'm surprised you haven't figured out yet what it is that you need to do."

"What do I need to do, Miranda? Are you saying you know? Because if you know, don't keep me in suspense. Please. Let me know. I'm lost here, I'm drowning. I'm totally open to suggestions. What have you got?"

So! Miranda thought. The mighty David Gordon. Finally. Finally. She sat up straight and pulled him sideways so that he was facing her. Oh God, he looked awful. But it was in this moment, when he looked awful and felt like absolute shit that she knew she was finally going to be able to get through to him.

"Gordo," she said firmly. "Listen to me. This is what you need to do. You need to stop. You need to….just…stop…."

Gordo sniffed. "Just stop what?"

"Everything!" Miranda exclaimed. "Everything that's driving you crazy, everything that you hate about your life. Come on, Gordo, don't be such an ass! Who's life is it anyway? Is it your life or not? Then why are you letting everyone else live it for you? Why are you letting everyone else boss you around? What happened to that confident kid I knew in middle school? The one who knew exactly where he wanted to go, and exactly how to get there?"

"I don't know," Gordo said miserably. "I think he's still here. Somewhere. Somewhere underneath all this other…crap…"

"I know he's still there," Miranda said. "I still see him, now and then, in an odd moment, when you think nobody is looking…"

Gordo was acutely aware of Miranda's dark eyes shining at him in the moonlight. So! Miranda could still see him! Even when he couldn't see himself, Miranda could still see him. That had to mean something…

He took a deep breath, thinking about her words. Just Stop. For the first time in a long time, he felt a glimmer of hope. He looked deeply at her, as if she held all the answers to all his questions, and he asked simply, "And how would I do that, Miranda? How do I…just stop…?"

Miranda smiled. She had been wanting to have this talk with Gordo for some time now. She had even tried before, on several occasions, but he had always been too preoccupied or, she realized now, simply not ready. But now he was ready. He was so ready. And so she began to talk to him.

And he listened.

-

1:30 a.m.

They had been talking for almost an hour. In the middle of it, both Charlie and Lizzie called Miranda's cell, and when everybody knew where everybody else was and how they were all getting home, it seemed to cement the fact that there was going to be a change in their lives. In all their lives.

It was established that Lizzie did not want to talk with Gordo, and if she never saw him again in her life it would be too soon, and she was getting a ride home with Heather.

Charlie asked Miranda, "What about us?" and Miranda asked Charlie if he could find a ride home with somebody else, maybe Dirk and Amy. She might be a while. She was taking care of Gordo.

"Taking care of Gordo?" Charlie screamed into the phone. "Miranda! What the hell are you doing for him?"

"Shut up, Charlie," Miranda said simply. "Find a ride home. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

At that point, Miranda advised Gordo that it would be best if he put the car in motion. She knew that tone in Charlie's voice well enough to suspect that he might come looking for them, and she didn't want to have to deal with him now. This moment was all about Gordo, and she didn't want anybody else messing it up.

So Gordo put the car on the dark, empty road, and as he drove, Miranda continued talking. She told him all the ways she thought he could take his life back, and she made so much sense.

This was all stuff he had thought about himself, of course, mostly in the middle of the night when he sometimes woke up, sweating and anxious, having a panic attack, and wondering how his life had gotten so out of control. The idea of stopping everything had occurred to him, but only as a fantasy. Hearing Miranda outline a plan for a simpler life made him realize it didn't have to be only a fantasy. He really could get his life back. He really could be happy again.

Gordo felt totally wired. Suddenly, he had so much hope. Things were going to be different now. They weren't necessarily going to be easier, because, if he followed Miranda's advice, he was going to have to deal with the confusion and disappointment of his friends, his teachers, and especially his parents, when he told them no, he wasn't doing that any more. If he didn't love it, he wasn't doing it. It was that simple.

And so he began to make some decisions. The first one was easy. He wasn't running any more. He hated it. And it was such a relief to know he no longer needed to get up at five o'clock in the morning.

He made another decision. He wasn't going to fill out another scholarship application. He had all the money he needed to go to UC and get into their Film Studies program. Mr. Simon would need to find another way to make Hillridge High shine.

He wasn't going to an Ivy League school, he wasn't going into pre-med, and he certainly wasn't going to take the SAT for a third time. He knew his parents would lay on the disappointment and guilt in super-sized servings, but Gordo now had hope that he could stand up against it.

"I can deal with them, I can deal with it all," he told Miranda. "I feel stronger already, But I'm still going to need your help, Randa, your strength."

"I'll support you, Gordo," she promised.

"I'm serious," Gordo said. "It's going to be tough for me, especially at first. I never could handle the parental disappointment. But now I think I can."

"The parental disappointment is not going to be your main issue," Miranda reminded. "Your biggest problem is---and always has been, by the way---the pressure you put on yourself, Gordo. Even back in middle school, when you had it all together, you were always fighting against that, don't you remember?"

Gordo nodded. "Sure. I remember. I know. I'm my own worst enemy."

"Well…stop!" Miranda cried. "Just stop! Ease up on yourself a little, okay?"

"I want to," Gordo said. "And I think I can. As long as you're there with me, reminding me, keeping me on track. As a Recovering Perfectionist, I'm going to need help, Miranda. Lots of help."

"I'm there," Miranda grinned. "I'm totally there for you, Gordo. Just you try to get rid of me."

Back in their own neighborhood now, Gordo pulled his car up at the curb in front of Miranda's house. He turned off the engine and there was dead silence.

Get rid of Miranda? "Nah…" he said after a moment, with a small smile. "I wouldn't try to do that."

Miranda smiled. "Good," she said quietly. "Because I'm not going anywhere."

Gordo felt a tingling inside him. Something was happening here with Miranda. Three times now she had vowed her presence and support in his life. Of course she was his friend, and had been for almost as long as he could remember, but somehow this felt different. As Gordo wondered if something could be changing, he also wondered if he was ready for such a change at this delicate point in his life.

They sat quietly in the car for quite a long time, each thinking their private thoughts, unwilling for this time together to end. Then suddenly Miranda said, "You know, I saw this coming for a long time."

Gordo tensed up. Was she thinking the same things he was thinking? "Saw what?" he asked carefully.

"About you and Lizzie. I suspected you two were getting ready to break up."

"Why?" Gordo asked. "Did she say something to you?" Oh no! Not the "mishap" again! Why did everything always have to come back to the "mishap"? He didn't want to talk to Miranda about that, at least not now.

But Miranda said, "No. Lizzie didn't say anything. Lizzie is pretty much clueless. I don't think she had the slightest idea this was coming tonight. But I've been watching you, Gordo. I could tell something was changing inside you."

Yes, something was changing. Gordo was just thinking that himself. He wondered if Miranda could tell how his feelings for her were changing. He didn't want to come right out and ask, but he did say, "I've been watching you too, Miranda. Like…for instance…I saw how you handled Charlie tonight, when he tried to get you into Make Out Cove. You were very strong. I was impressed."

Miranda made a scoffing sound. "There's nothing to be impressed about. I know what Charlie wanted to do, and I don't want to do it. At least not with him. I was just standing up for myself. That's what I'm talking about, Gordo. You've got to stand up for yourself, not take shit from anyone."

"Yeah, but…you were still so strong, even after you'd been drinking. You didn't let that cloud your judgement."

"I'll tell you a little secret," Miranda said. "I wasn't drinking."

"But I saw you drinking."

"No, you didn't," Miranda explained. "What you saw me doing was the same thing I saw you doing. I watched you, Gordo, and I saw how you pretended to drink, then spit it out, and spilled it out. I decided to do the same thing. I guess I fooled you as much as you fooled everybody else."

Gordo laughed. "Except you! I didn't fool you."

"Nice little trick, by the way," Miranda said. "I need to thank you for that one. I knew that Charlie would try to take advantage of me if he could. Your little ploy really helped me keep my head clear when I couldn't afford to have my judgement clouded."

"So then…you and Charlie…?"

Miranda sighed. "Charlie's okay. But he's not the one."

Gordo nodded, understanding completely.

There were a few more minutes of silence, when neither was willing to say it was time for the evening to end. Gordo went back to his thoughts, reviewing this conversation in his mind, then he decided to take a step into the future by saying, "So…Randa…you watched me pretending to drink, I watched you with Charlie. It seems you and I have been watching each other quite a bit lately, huh?"

Miranda bit her lip. "I guess so," she said, shyly.

Gordo felt his heart racing, hardly believing he was willing to be this bold. "Do you think… it means anything?" he asked hopefully.

Miranda took a deep breath and said, "Gordo, you just broke up with Lizzie. I'm still with Charlie. Let's not rush anything, okay? There'll be plenty of time."

Gordo nodded. "Yeah, you're right," he agreed, feeling somewhat sheepish.

Miranda turned and smiled at him, her grin about to pop off her face, and that made him feel better.

"What?" he asked, also smiling.

"I have an idea," Miranda said. "Why don't you come in? I taped the Olsen Twins. We could make some popcorn and watch it."

Gordo laughed. "Nix on the popcorn. My stomach's been pretty bad lately, and that would do me in big time. But I'd love to see the Olsen Twins. Only I'm warning you, I've been up almost twenty four hours now, so I don't know how long I'm going to be able to stay awake for it."

"That's all right," Miranda said. "Call your folks and tell them you're sleeping over. On the couch. Like you used to, when we were kids. They won't have any problem with that, will they? And I don't think my folks will, either; they love you, you know. They think that David Gordon is such a nice boy."

Gordo laughed again. Maybe he was finally getting delirious, but it sounded like this day, which had begun with him doubled over on the side of the road, wanting to vomit, was going to end up with him close to Miranda, stretched out on her couch, falling asleep to the Olsen Twins.

Miranda kept grinning at him. "Come on, Shaggy!" she teased, mussing up his hair. "Don't think! Just do it! It'll be fun!"

Gordo kept laughing as he opened the car door. "All right," he said. "All right, Miranda. Let's do it. Fun. You know, I think that's exactly what I need."