DISCLAIMER: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite, as do Renji and Rukia and the other unnamed characters in this fic. I cannot tell you how messed up Bleach would be if I wrote it. Also, the quote "One moment is all you can expect from perfection" is from Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk.
She doesn't love him.
Renji knows this. He knows it as he slides his fingers over the dainty curve of her waist, as he devours her with his touch, scent, sight, and taste. But when she's with him like this, slender legs wrapped around his waist, he can forget that she doesn't and pretend that she does.
Renji knows she doesn't love him, but when just her smile is enough to change his life, he's willing to take what he can get.
Her lips and fingers are tracing his tattoos now, perfectly accurate even in the dark. This is his favorite part because right now, he knows that she's not imagining someone else. When she's fisting her hands in his hair, pulling like it's her last hold on life, every breath a battle, he knows that he's everything to her in that one, perfect moment. He had read somewhere that a moment was all you could expect from perfection.
It's when she has her hands on his shoulders, head bowed that he knows that she isn't his. Sometimes, it's not even his name falling from her lips, slurred like a drunken prayer. For the longest time, it was one very specific name. And every time he heard it, it broke his heart. Not because it wasn't his name, but because it was the name of someone she could never have and Renji wanted her to have everything.
Today, there's a different name. It's unexpected, but not surprising. This name breaks his heart too, but this is because she CAN have the person whose name she so lovingly whispers in the dark. It surprises him that she doesn't realize it. Renji won't be the one to tell her though; as long as she's ignorant, she's his. Just for that one moment of perfection.
He's a man of conflict, though most don't realize it. He'll do his damndest to stop someone from rescuing her, but he'll go through hell to do the exact same. He will lament her loss, but prevent her gain. Selfish? Maybe. But after all he's done, he deserves this. Renji deserves the heat of her embrace, the soft whimpers, the nails dragging across his back. All this passion, even if it's not for him, he deserves it.
She tenses beneath him and gasps and moans and writhes in ways that he forgot was possible. The syllables are broken, but he can still make out another's name on her lips. Unfortunately, for him, there is no other, so he leans down to whisper in her ear the only name that means anything to him.