Karma: I'm not going to lie, I don't really know what stew is. I think it's like soup or something…really, I'm just guessing.

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone who is mentioned.

Attention: This story isn't Yaoi, so sorry to Yaoi lovers out there?

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style!

Chapter 20: Gaara the Iron Chef! Part 4

Kurenai, Gai, and Kakashi sat down as they waited for the three finalists to bring them their food, except Shino who still gave the other contestants the look that was usually reserved for dear Asuma who went missing with Sasuke.

It looked like a pedophile case, but everyone would look for what he'd done with Sasuke afterwards. Second of all, no one in the competition really cared.

Kiba, who was Gai-Sensei's choice for some reason or another, had brought up his meal. Kiba had wanted to take out the biscuits but Gai-Sensei seemed to like it SO much. He had left it in.

Kurenai and Kakashi nodded appreciatively, because everyone loves stew.

Kiba picked up the spoon and poured heaps for the three Jounins who were smiling happily as the started to grabbed their spoon to start but stopped when Gai-Sensei was giving the soup a dry stare.

"Aren't you going to try some?" Kakashi said suspiciously as Gai-Sensei just shook his head; "I'm not really hungry," he told them as his nose cringed in disgust.

'Whatever" Kurenai said as she took a big gulp and stopped mid swallow, as she put her hand into her mouth and pulled out a DOG BISCUIT?

"ACKK" Kurenai shrieked as she had just realized she had eaten dog food. Kakashi just smirked as Gai-Sensei shrugged helplessly, "with great thought it really was the best of all I've seen"

"DOG FOOD was the best you've seen?" Kurenai said angrily at the bowl-headed man, "yes. Shameful is it not?" Gai-Sensei shook his head pitiful, but felt a pang of guilt when he saw Hinata shoot him a dirty look but erased it immediately. It was for the greater good.

"Well, it's not this crap that's going to win the Iron competition" Kakashi said as he pushed his bowl away. Kiba cursed angrily in his head at that Harry Potter, it was his entire fault! Shino glared angrily from outside and spat curses to his bugs, but then apologized. It was rude to swear.

"Next one" Gai-Sensei said as he watched Kurenai try to wash the dog taste out of his mouth, oh how sickening it was indeed.

Itachi shuffled up to them as his flowery cape billowed in the wind, as he handed them his three plates of his shark casserole.

Kurenai gave him a smile, as Itachi just gave her a nod in return. She shook her head in sadness, poor Itachi.

Gai-Sensei and Kakashi took hearty bites of the casserole as Gai-Sensei gave him his 100-watt smile and a thumbs-up sign to recognize Itachi for his hard work.

"Where's Kisame?" Kakashi said looking around for Itachi's partner in crime, "Oh. We had a quarrel," Itachi said shrugging his head but still looking pained.

"What is your secret ingredient to this casserole?" Gai-Sensei asked him, "Why fresh shark of course" Itachi informed them as Kakashi face darkened as he stared at the casserole.

"I'm done" Gai-Sensei squeaked as he pushed the casserole away from him, Itachi stared at them in confusion.

Kurenai still finishing the meal, as Gai-Sensei and Kakashi gagged as she ate the casserole.

"Just as delicious when I watched you clean the blood" Kurenai told him enthusiastically, "Oh gawd, he did it here" Gai-Sensei said in shock looking around for Itachi's booth.

"Next meal?" Kakashi said proudly as his choice came up with three plates as Gai-Sensei pushed his casserole off the table, in utter disgust.

"It's an Italian dish" Kakashi told them as Gaara set it in front of them, as Kakashi gave them this look that just screamed: You better pick him.

They, in content, finished the meal and gave out happy moans as they finished their authentic Italian meal.

The 3 Jounins walked over to a corner where they did a little huddle as discussed their choices for who should be the Iron Chef.

"It sure as hell isn't Kiba and Shino" Kurenai said as he nose wrinkled in disgust, "Yeah? Well, I don't exactly like the Shark Casserole very much" Gai-Sensei spat out as Kakashi nodded in agreement with his nemesis. This was probably the only time such a thing would happen, so close your eyes and remember this moment.

'Yeah, But Gaara's is perfect" Kakashi declared as the two other Jounins shuddered that their fellow Jounin, he was right. They all mutually felt Gaara was the best among them.

"So…that settles it? Gaara of the desert wins?" Kurenai said as her voice wavered in amazement, they weren't expecting THAT.

"Are you-a joking? This meal is the utter bull shit" an old man said tasting Gaara's dish, as the three kids of the desert burned with fury- what was Chef Boyardee doing NOW?

"This is NOT authentic Italian" Chef Boyardee informed them, "It's not?" Kurenai said staring at it- looked pretty authentic.

"Who's-a the Italian?" Chef Boyardee spat out angrily, "Ok! Ok" Gai-Sensei said deciding not to mess with him. His moustache and the way it curled were quite intimidating.

"Then who WINS?" Kakashi cried out exasperated, "Why, Itachi and Kisame of course" Kurenai shot out at them as they winced.

Itachi had won. Now, that probably was something you weren't expecting.

Iruka came running up in a big pink dress and kissed Itachi on the cheek, giving him a bouquet of flowers and a tiara as Itachi cried big happy tears.

"Thanks for calling me guys" Iruka said warmly as his picked up the hems of his dress, they Jounins looked at each wondering if the other had called Iruka. They hadn't…

Suddenly, the doors of the competition were flown open by an ugly shark-man who stood there as his scales blew in the wind. Ino winced in horror as his scales flew in her hair, as Chouji tried to fish them out for her.

"Kisame?" Itachi said as his eyes widened in shock, "Oh, Itachi!" Kisame said as he walked up slowly towards the Iron Competition Champion.

"WHAAAT?" Gai-Sensei and Kakashi shrieked, they could have sworn he was dead- in a casserole to be exact.

"We should never have fought! It was foolish of me to fight with whether or not you have lost your brotherly duties! You have not! The fight isn't over yet! We'll get him in the END! Even if he we have to drug him! Even if we have to kill him! Even if we have to-" Kisame's wailing was cut off by Itachi.

"I get it" Itachi snapped, "So can we start over buddy? We'll get Sasuke in the end…together!" Kisame said as he threw his sword up in triumph as Ino screeched as she dodged it.

"Oh, I don't know Kisame. Your words were VERY harsh" Itachi said looking down at his bouquet as Kisame ran up to the front of the stage, where Itachi stood in his glory for the title of Champion.

Kisame pushed Hinata out of the way as he stood in front of Itachi. " ACKK" Hinata shrieked as she was fallen on the floor, Gai-Sensei snickered in his calloused hand as Hinata shot him a dirty look. Oh, if only she could just KILL him.

"Itachi-sama, have you not forgiven me?" Kisame asked him as he reached his hand out, Itachi smiled as those weird marks on his face wrinkled as he grabbed Kisame's hand and jumped off the platform.

"This is so beautiful" Kurenai cried out as tears stung her eyes, Iruka dabbed his eyes with a pink bow from his dress.

"How youthful this young couple's love is, how very youthful" Gai-Sensei sobbed as Rock Lee started clapping his hands together. The whole competition started to clap along, as they watched Itachi and Kisame sputter.

"What? COUPLE?" Kisame gasped out, "we're not a couple" Itachi spat out in shock and disgust.

"EHH?" the contestants all said in shock, "I'm about as gay as that guy" Itachi said pointing randomly only to reach Orichimaru. The contestants all looked at Itachi with an eyebrow raised.

"Well, I'm not GAY!" Itachi said as he donned his cape, "Now I say- GOOD DAY!" Itachi yelled at them as he stalked out of the competition.

"Itachi?" Kisame called as he tried to show him he had left his trophy. "I SAID GOOD DAY!" Itachi shrieked as he slammed the door.

"My, he's quite the poet, we should have had one of those weird bashes where everybody snaps" Gai-Sensei said as he snapped in Kakashi and Kurenai's faces.

Kakashi would have gladly have snapped back, if only he had learned. Snapping hadn't been invented when he came around.

"Who cares? How much money did we make?" Kurenai asked Kakashi breaking his thoughts, as Kakashi just shrugged.

"18, 000" Iruka told them as the Jounins grabbed the money from him, "Who let YOU touch it?" Gai-Sensei as Iruka just looked down at his shoes.

"Is that enough?" Kakashi wondered allowed as Kurenai shook her head, "I think we need a bit more money"

"Maybe we SHOULD have a poetry bash" Kurenai said as she stared at the money, "We get to snap" Gai-Sensei said happily as Kakashi cringed. Would his secret come out?

"Ok, but where's Asuma? He needs to know" Gai-Sensei said looking around.

Back with Asuma…

"Are you SURE that Itachi's coming to fight me?" Sasuke asked as he polished Asuma's floor, "Oh YEAAAHH! He's just late" Asuma said shrugging grabbing his coat.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked the sensei, "Just out for a bite. Um, you missed a spot" Asuma said pointing to the window.

"What about ITACHI?" Sasuke yelled after him, "the faster you CLEAN the faster he'll COME" Asuma said walking away from his new cleaning nut job maid.

"Hey Asuma where you been?" Kakashi asked him, "You know me- they always trying to catch me riding dirty" Asuma said shaking his head.

"Ride till we die, iight?" Kakashi said giving Asuma props, "Yeh" Asuma said as they walked into the sunset with a manly stagger.

KDZ: Thanks to all the reviewers! AND I swear the Poetry Bash is the LAAAAAAST filler and then I'll go back to driving, promise! I was bored with driving but now I think it's time to go back. So get read for some more Cliff Crashing and Granny Hit'n'Runs GALORE!