Hey I'm posting twice in two days , thats a first for me ) .
Okay so this is written for And Still She Smiles , this will not exactly fit in with the flow of the fic because its written in the perspective of bb as well. However the plot revolves mainly around her and I started this fic with her in mind , thus it goes into this fic.
Title: Childish
Author: Ani
Summary : Two lost friends find solace together after an tragic evening for Star. A Friendship one shot , centered around Bb and Star.
Warnings: pg.13
Here goes nothing.
CHILDISH
Tears.
He circles his arm around her shoulders, the emerald of his skin contoured around her pale form. He tries to offer what comfort he can. As much comfort as one scared little boy; trying to fix, trying to please, can. He knows now is not the time for humour, so he wisely holds his tongue.
And he waits.
His thumb grazes and circles the soft skin on her arm, and he waits. There is silence all around, broken only by her intermittent sobs, which shake her physically, which shake her emotionally – which shake him emotionally.
And She cries.
While he waits.
And then there nothing, nothing but his steady breathing, nothing but her shallow post crying inhalations and exhalations. And she waits. And waits for him to offer more comfort, for now his arms are not enough.
More.
So he prepares to speak, his stomach tensing in apprehension, praying not to say the wrong thing. And questioning himself – does he really want to know?
He lets out a shaky breath , and he speaks .
"what happened Star?"
A deafening silence answers . And then her sobs start again.
He cringes , he said the wrong thing.
But then she answers , her voice raspy, awkward and timid.
" It was supposed to be …perfect …he…I" her words are laced with disappointment and far in between, interrupted by hiccupping cries.
He says nothing, and tightens his grip.
He is there.
He is there , for her.
She takes a steadying breath, and plows on.
"It was supposed to be perfect, and at the start it was. And X'hal, I was so excited, my first earthen 'date', and it was to be with Robin. I believed he was joyous too, but perhaps not in such a way that I expected. It was…." She trails off, shy and hurt.
He takes his spare arm and wraps it around her waist, now curious, he wants to know more.
"Star, what happened"
This time there is no pause, this time the answers come, and he begins to wish he never asked.
She speaks.
"We started the dating at a restaurant, it was more ….fancy than the pizza parlor. It was beautiful, he was beautiful. Everything …it….how you say…it flowed, our words that we exchanged were filled with mirth and what I believed was adoration , he held my hand at one point , while we were finishing dessert . He held my hand and looked into my eyes and he said …"
She pauses for a moment, collecting herself , a few tears escape her eyes but she continues , heedless.
"He said that he had been wanting to ask me out for so long, and that he was glad that he did. I was filled with such joy, it was as if my dreams were coming true . Then it changed – he changed . Suddenly he was tugging my hand , ' lets get out of here ,Star' he had said and as he took me from the table . And then we were in park and he kissed me.
He look's down at her face, smiling ruefully as she loses her self in a memory.
" Oh Beast Boy, he kissed me and it was like everything I had ever imagined and more"
Her tone darkens, and she grew suddenly mournful.
He tenses with a nervous apprehension as she spoke again.
" But then it wasn't just us participating in the kissing. Suddenly I was up against a tree. It was not what I expected. The bark was hurting my back , I could feel it scraping against me, I kept trying to tell Robin to stop…but our mouths were still kissing so I could not utter a sound… His hands were everywhere , in places I blush to say . And he was rough with me, like I was some unfeeling object and then he…"
A silent sob shakes through her, disrupting her tale.
His thumb no longer caresses her arm, instead he feels his grip turn hard, and an anger foreign to him begins to seep into him. He is no fool, he knew what she was mourning , the only question was how far had it gone…
"what did he do?"
Her sobbing now becomes audible , as she tries to squeeze the words out amidst her grief.
Star, What did he do to you?"
Slowly she begins to speak again, her words fragmented by her tears .
" I did realize that at one point , we would as you earthlings say, take the next step. But not yet " her tears fell harder " X'hal , Beast Boy , we're only fourteen , it was our first date ….my first kiss …..How was I to know that his hands…. That his hand would soon be tugging down my skirt, that my shirt would be violently ripped away . And all the while his mouth covering my protest's , and the bark it hurt and my heart …it hurt even more so."
She pauses, and looks up at him, begging him to understand. She continues again, her thoughts more rational, more collected.
"I knew of this, I did want this to happen sometime in our courtship but not then , not so young and not in a park"
He closes his eyes, trying to shake the image she created …this could not have happened not to Starfire, not to his little star.
She breathes deeply, calming herself, telling herself it's all over, its all over now. Continuing with a braveness that did not come with fighting crime, but with the strength of the heart that has endured.
"He reached for my underwear, it was like he was no longer Robin but this shadow of ….need , and desire."
Hate fills his eyes, he wishes he were strong enough to confront his leader.
Still she continues,
" All I remember feeling was fear and hurt, so much hurt. And suddenly I could take no more… and then he was tripping backwards as I pushed and I was whispering 'stop…no more …no more…stop'. The look on his face was one I have never seen before. I cannot rightly put a single emotion to it. But his words, they cut deeper than all the hurt ' Star' he said and he cursed ' your too young , too young for me' and he walked away shouting ' grow up' before he fled completely."
She's not sobbing anymore and her words lack emotion.
Forlorn.
" Then it was over , and I was left crying and alone, picking up my scattered clothes and walking home….for I could not muster the joy to fly"
"and now" she gestures around the room with one hand " I'm here".
And she hurts.
And He hurts for her.
He says nothing, at a loss for words . Silent and continuing to cradle her , trying to help. But what does he know he tells himself belittlingly , he is the young naive one, his comfort is offered in warm jokes and laughter. But there is no laughter here.
They sit in silence, his thin green arms around her pale peach ones , heads bowed against one another.
She remembers.
And he thinks.
She remembers and feels hurt.
He thinks and begins to wonder.
She remembers, and feels hurt. She remembers and feels childish and naive.
He thinks and begins to wonder. He begins to wonder and realizes, that time wont heal this, that no amount of talking and regretting will help either, and substances made for forgetting will only worsen this all .
She remembers that it was only hours ago that she was happy in her own skin. She remembers and feels childish , naïve and wonders if she needs to 'do the growing up'.
He thinks, he wonders, he realizes and he knows. He knows that it is the childlike naivety that will save and heal.
She remembers just how much she loves Robin and just how much she is willing to sacrifice…for him
The innocence so strong in both himself and Star will help bring joy to even the darkest situations and he realizes that its his turn to take the lead and save her . Its his turn to save the starry-eyed childishness that Robin unknowingly crushed . And he realizes just how much he loves her, not a romantic way but in a way that will be forever constant, that will forever be there to pick her up when she falls. And She falls.
For he knows now, that Robin will apologize and in time she will forgive him. He knows now that not long after that Robin and she will try to start anew.
Love.
He knows now that he will be the one, not Raven. Not Cyborg, no he, Beast Boy will be the one she turns to when Robin has hurt her , or when she's hurt him. He knows that as their relationship progresses some of her naivety will fade and she will mature . But he knows now that as long as they remain close, their innocence will never, ever die. Ever.
He sits up and takes her hand, smiling , offering what little comfort he can. What little comfort. He leads her towards the kitchen, offering all his comfort.
" C'mon Star, I 'd like to introduce you to my friends Ben and Jerry , their very , very cool and they can make cheering up just that much easier". He feels himself slipping back into his comfortable stasis of good natured humour . He smiles and looks for the ice cream. He smiles.
She nods placidly and grabs two bowls from the cupboard watching him has he reaches for the ice cream. She sets the bowls down on the table. Still in need of solace. Still in need of a friend.
Comfort.
She walks over to him, watching as he looks at her nervously. She leaps up, wrapping her arms around his neck, reveling in his comfort as his hands make their way around her waist. And she smiles, unlatching herself from in, with the knowledge that he will always be there.
Always.
They sit down at the counter, and he dishes out the ice cream. They sit and eat quietly.
They sit and remember.
They sit and think.
They sit and wonder.
They sit and they hope.
Together, beacons of innocence and joy in an ever changing world.
Always.
He breaks the silence …
" hey Star , Did I ever tell you about the chicken who crossed the road?"
She smiles.
Always.
So its a little sappy but I wanted to write something other than a peom , however poems at the moment are what I'm most comfortable writing so who knows ...
Thank you for taking the timet read my works , if you could drop a review that would be super amazing , and I in turn will take the time to reply and review some of your works.
Merci
Love
-Ani