Title: Double Memory Fandom: Alias Pairing: Sydney/Vaughn Timeline: Post Before the Flood. Summary: Sydney deals with Vaughn's betrayal.

Chapter 1: Believing

She doesn't know exactly how it happened. One minute they're driving along, smiles on their faces, finally saying the words they had waited far too long to say to each other. And then he's saying things that she can't comprehend. His name isn't his name and he might be bad and she just doesn't understand. And then there's a crash with no warning. She doesn't remember what happened after that. And if she hadn't woken up in the hospital, she would've sworn it was all a dream.

But it wasn't a dream. She had an IV in her arm and a pain throbbing against her skull.

Someone's at the door. She looks up.

"Miss," the nurse consults her clipboard. "Bristow. Glad to see you're up. How are you feeling today?"

"How long," she coughs, her voice is raspy and her throat is dry. "How long have I been here?"

"About two days. You were awake earlier but I guess you don't remember that. We gave you some medicine that made you a little groggy, just to ease the pain. We ran some tests. You don't have a concussion or any internal bleeding. Just a few scrapes and bruises. You'll be sore for a while but you should be fine. You're very lucky. Your father is here. Would you like to see him now?"

"Yes, thank you," Sydney said, sitting up.

"Sweetheart," Jack said as he pulled up a chair beside her bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine." She hesitates for a moment, unsure she should ask this question. "What about," she pauses, unsure of what to call him. "Vaughn?" She settles for the name she's always known because it's all she knows.

"He's in the ICU."

"Oh, God," she says, covering her mouth with her hand. "Is he okay?"

"I wouldn't know. I haven't been to see him yet. Marshall has though."

"Marshall?" Syd questions.

"Weiss is looking after Nadia. I was looking after you. Marshall didn't want Vaughn to wake up...alone."

"Oh," she says. If her feelings hadn't been so conflicted, she might have laughed at the thought of Vaughn waking up to find Marshall by his bedside.

"I'm sure Marshall can tell you how he's doing. He's right outside. Would you like me to -"

"Yes."

He leans over and kisses her forehead. "I'm sure he's fine. Try to get some rest."

Marshall stumbles in. "Syd...hey. How are you?"

"I'm good, Marshall. Thanks." This time she doesn't pause at his name. "How's Vaughn? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's okay. But, of course, I'm going on the assumption that our definitions of okay are the same and they might not be. I mean, I could think that something is perfectly okay and you could think that it's not okay at all so when you ask me if he's okay, you're not really getting an answer because I don't know what your definition of okay is. Is there a Webster's dictionary anywhere? Maybe we could look it up and -"

"Marshall," she says. "Tell me."

"Are you sure? Because I could get a doctor in here to explain it better. I've read medical journals but there's not a M.D. at the end of my name, although it'd be kinda cool if there was..."

"No. Please, just...tell me."

"He has a concussion. It's not serious, but it's still a concussion. He has a few broken ribs and they're keeping him sedated because of the pain. He's pretty out of it. He called me Syd three times."

Of course, she was worried. She didn't want to be worried, she wanted to be angry. Angry at him for lying to her all this time, for making her believe that he was the only one she could ever truly trust. But instead, her worry for him consumed her, just like it always had.

Marshall stands there awkwardly, unsure of what to do with himself. "Well, I'll let you get some rest. I'll check on you later. Bye Syd," he says as he walks out the door.

"Bye."

Left alone to her thoughts, the realization of all that has happened sinks in. Maybe she was in shock. She didn't know. It didn't seem possible. How can Vaughn not be Vaughn? She'd dealt with a lot of things she had thought were fact, but turned out to be fabrications. And somehow, this was the one thing she couldn't grasp. You'd think she would be used to it by now, someone not really being who you thought they were.

The pain she felt, the betrayal, the anger, went beyond tears, beyond logic.

She believed that Vaughn was a good guy. She believed that he was Vaughn, her Vaughn. She believed that he would never betray his country. She believed that he loved her.

But believing something doesn't make it true.