The Trial
Dani Wheeler-Kaiba
I love Bakura. Well, I love all the Yugioh guys…but Bakura's my favourite. So I just HAD to write this fic. Contains a little yaoi, a little swearing…nothing too terrible. Enjoy!
Summary: Bakura's life revolves around crime. It was inevitable that he should be arrested and taken to court eventually – and this is how his court case turned out.
Disclaimer: Okay, okay, fine. Yugioh is definitely not mine. If it was, it would be VERY different…and probably R-rated.
This is all from the gorgeous Bakura's POV, by the way. I'm sure you'd assume as much after reading the first sentence, but I just had to make sure. And also, I have nothing against lawyers. I once considered being a lawyer myself. But from Bakura and Marik's point of view, lawyers would definitely be the people who suck all the fun out of life.
I don't think I like trials all that much. Not that I've experienced one before, but the things Marik's told me…they sound really boring. The worst punishment someone gets is a few years in a cage. Big deal. Try being stuck in a ring for three millennia. Apparently, in the past, if someone did a really bad crime they used to be killed for it, but whoever's in charge here now thought the world needed less violence and more happy, friendly, sick stuff.
What is it with authority figures and spoiling everyone's fun?
Speaking of authority figures…this judge looks mighty pissed.
Ah; perhaps I should explain. This is a courtroom. I'm in a trial. My trial, to be exact. I am the – what's it called? – the defendant. Apparently – and I have no idea why they think this – I am a menace to society, and need to be locked up for the rest of my life. Well, excuse me for being unique.
The police people told me last week I was being called to court. They gave me the whole, "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you," speech that you hear on TV.
Is there any way that, "LET ME GO! YOU RA-DAMNED MORTALS HAVE NO POWER OVER ME AND IF YOU DO NOT OBEY ME I WILL SEND YOU ALL TO THE SHADOW REALM!", can be used against me?
I think the trial – sorry, MY trial – is starting. Everyone's being quiet. Too quiet. I start whistling something so that it's not so quiet. The judge glares at me. I don't like him, so I glare right back. But I stop whistling anyway.
Some guy on the other side of the room stands up and starts talking. Gods, he is ugly. He's wearing a fancy suit and his hair is very gelled. This morning Ryou tried to convince me to wear something good and brush my hair, because it would make a better impression on everyone, but I told him I'd rather kiss Marik. Ryou didn't look like he wanted to take that chance, so he let me come here dressed just as I always do. He warned me that most people don't really like leather-clad criminals who wear too much jewellery, but I said I didn't care. Sure, the judge keeps sending me suspicious glances, but at least I'm not all slick and gross like the greasy guy who's talking over the other side of the room.
Speaking of, I don't think this guy is on my side, here. He's telling everyone how horrible and evil I am and saying that I should be imprisoned like the criminal I am. "He stands here today…"
Actually, I'm sitting.
"In this court of law…"
There are courts not of law? What, like a tennis court?
"Accused of multiple robberies, breaking and entering…"
To be fair, I never broke anything.
"Arson…"
Oh, come on. You think I meant to set that store on fire?
"Kidnapping…"
There is no way abducting the Pharaoh in order to get his Puzzle can be described as kidnapping.
"Attempted murder…"
Hey, I can't help that my powers allowing me to send people to the Shadow Realm need to be exercised occasionally!
"Murder in the first degree…"
As if they actually saw me murder someone! THEY HAVE NO PROOF!
"And paedophilia."
What! "Excuse me?" I say loudly; everyone is looking at me but I don't care. "Paedophilia? Are you saying I've been raping little kids?"
Everyone's mouth is open, like big O's. Apparently, I wasn't allowed to interrupt the greasy guy's speech. Well excuuuuse me. I think I have a right to deny claims of paedophilia against me! Because whatever crimes I am guilty of, I AM NOT a paedophile!
Greasy guy clears his throat. He's looking at me like I'm really stupid for calling out. "There are a number of witnesses to Mr. Bakura's criminal activities…"
Ugh. He called me Mister Bakura. That's disgusting.
Finally, the evil judge says something. "Will the prosecution summon their first witness."
Summon? Like in Duel Monsters?
Greasy guy clears his throat again. "I call to the stand…"
Well don't keep us in suspense, Grease man.
"…Seto Kaiba."
Kaiba! Where? Where? What the – he was sitting in the crowd of people behind Greasy guy! Why didn't I see him there? I guess my view is a little obstructed, but Kaiba's so tall I should've picked him out ages ago.
So Mr. Bigshot CEO is a 'witness for the prosecution'. Now to find out what that means.
He's walking up to the front of the room, passing my chair. I wave to him, but he ignores me. Rich bastard. I'm glad everyone hates him.
He sits behind a podium next to the judge. The judge's podium is a lot higher than his. Why? Apart from glaring at me, the judge hasn't done a thing. What makes him so important? This whole trial is about me, and I don't get a cool high seat and tall podium. I don't get a podium at all! All I've got is this crappy little table.
Greasy guy walks up to Kaiba. "You are Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corporations, currently attending Domino High School?"
Bad idea, Grease man. Kaiba doesn't like questions where everyone already knows the answer.
"If I were not, then I wouldn't have come up here when you asked for Seto Kaiba," he says. Ooo. Icy voice. Greasy guy twitches. This should be good.
"A courtroom is no place for smart comments, Kaiba," he snaps. Another bad move already.
"Mister Kaiba. I may still be a student but my status far outranks yours." His voice is so cold, I think I need a jacket. At least he's pissing off Greasy guy. Maybe he's not my enemy after all? Someone needs to put Greasy guy in his place, after all. Who does he think he is, coming here and accusing me of a million different crimes, only some of which are true?
"Mister Kaiba, may I remind you that this is a court of law, and that I am a lawyer!"
Oh, he's a lawyer! Marik told me about lawyers. He hates them; says they suck all the fun out of breaking the law. Also, they don't just go after criminals – since all they want is money, they also pick on rich people and companies and take their money. Maybe that's why Kaiba doesn't seem to be co-operating with Grease man.
Okay, I officially don't like lawyers. There's a blank sheet of paper on the table in front of me, and a pen, so I start writing a list.
PEOPLE TO HUNT DOWN AND SEND TO THE SHADOW REALM
1. The police who called me to court
2. The evil judge
3. Lawyers. All lawyers.
I think I shall keep this list.
Kaiba is saying something to the greasy lawyer again. Something along the lines of, "No, you may not remind me that this is a court of law and that you are a lawyer, because as you may have noticed, I am not blind. But congratulations on not discriminating against all the visually impaired people of the jury."
Along the wall to my right, there's a box where twelve people – the jury, I guess – are sitting. Not sure what makes them so special. At least five of them are fighting the urge to laugh, and I can't say I blame them. Kaiba's smart remarks are making Greasy guy very angry – his face is rather red. And he's at a loss for words.
"Hurry up and ask what you need to ask," Kaiba snaps. "I have a company to run, and you're wasting my time."
Twitch. Greasy lawyer is definitely not happy. "All right, Kaiba – Mister Kaiba. Do you recognise the defendant?"
He's already forgotten the rule about not asking Kaiba stupid questions. And Kaiba looks ready to kill.
I pound my fist on the table. "You baka, greasy moron! Isn't it a bit obvious from the fact that he's here that he knows who I am?"
(Insert evil glare from judge)
Fine. I'll shut up. For now.
Kaiba's still being questioned. "Have you ever witnessed the defendant involving himself in illegal activities?" the lawyer asks.
The CEO raises an eyebrow. "I would think a more appropriate question is, have I ever witnessed Bakura not involving himself in illegal activities."
Was I questioning whether this guy was my enemy before? Because he is definitely my enemy.
"Would you please reiterate?"
"Hardly a second goes by in which Bakura is not committing a robbery, a murder, or," Kaiba's eyes glitter maliciously, "obscene acts upon underage members of society."
Argh!
"I am NOT a paedophile!" I yell. Where the hell are they getting this from?
The evil judge bangs his little hammer thing loudly. "Mr. Bakura, if you cannot control yourself, you will be detained indefinitely!" he says angrily.
My eye twitches. Mister Bakura again.
"Fine," I growl.
"Not. Another. Word." The judge turns to Greasy guy. "Proceed."
I thought this was my trial. How come the lawyer gets to talk but I don't? Would I be allowed to argue back if I had a lawyer of my own? If you can summon witnesses, can you summon lawyers? If the judge hadn't told me to shut up, I'd ask.
And Kaiba is still being questioned. Yawn. This is getting boring. I zone out until it sounds like it's over.
"Finally," says the lawyer; I perk up at the word. "Mr. Kaiba, do you believe that the defendant deserves a jail sentence?"
Rich boy doesn't bat an eyelid. "Yes."
PEOPLE TO HUNT DOWN AND SEND TO THE SHADOW REALM
4. Kaiba.
"Very well. No further questions. You may stand down, Mr. Kaiba."
There is silence as Kaiba stands (and I'm sure he stands up, what in Ra's name does 'stand down' mean?). But now Greasy guy decides that's he's not done with the CEO yet after all.
"Incidentally, Mr. Kaiba – what is your relationship with the defendant? Are you friends?"
Yeah. When Hell freezes over and Honda rules the world.
A small smirk plays about Kaiba's lips. "Well, if being 'friends' can be implied in the situation, which is that I am screwing one of his best friends, then yes, I suppose we are."
…
…
…
…
WHAT!
WHAT THE HELL DID HE JUST SAY!
He's – he's doing what to one of my friends!
I want to scream out berserk profanities, but if I do, the judge will probably order guards to drag me away. Although I think I should be entitled to a little shouting after what Kaiba just told everyone!
The judge, the lawyer, the jury, and all the people sitting behind me – all of them are frozen in shock. Their eyes look as if they'll fall out, and their mouths are wide open. I'm assuming no one has ever said, "I'm screwing one of his best friends," in court before. Especially as casually as Kaiba did.
But who in Ra's name was he talking about?
Who out of my friends would be stupid enough to want to get laid by the stuck-up CEO? It's disgusting!
The lawyer, looking slightly shaken, finally speaks again. "Er…um…well, I think we can move on to – to the next witness."
Kaiba nods, still smirking. He returns to his seat amongst the other people.
"Er…" Greasy guy looks at his notes. "I guess – the next witness for the prosecution – well, on that note, I think the next witness can be…the – the friend of the defendant who is – is – er…with Mr. Kaiba."
Oh, doesn't he have a way with words. He's scared as hell now of what the other witnesses will be like. I'm not; I'm really interested in knowing who the incredibly disgusting, sick, stupid excuse-for-a-friend of mine, who is screwing Seto Kaiba is.
Well, whoever it is, they're about to stand up…