RED FORMAN INTRODUCES YOU TO SEASON THREE

Red is sitting in a lounge chair in the garage. He's sipping from a glass of lemonade when he looks up to the camera.

"Welcome back to my Tidbit Minute for a third season! Yes, it's taken us four years to put out thirty-two high quality tidbits! Of course, we all feel kind of special pretty much being the only ones around to have 2005 in the header bar.

"But not to worry! We will certainly have more coming soon. Though, some people have mailed in telling me that they're angry that I never did everything on the list planned in season two. I know watching me go jogging would be the most hilarious thing in the world. And yes, a few of those tidbits did get sidetracked so that I could rant about how much I hate Twilight and how I could get Punk'd by a bunch of dumbasses.

"I'll resolve that problem this season, where I actually do go for a jog. You'll also see much more of my family, much more of my annoying son's group of friends. Not to mention Bob."

Bob walks into the garage. "I heard my name being called."

"Not now, Bob." Red drinks the last of his lemonade, "On second thought, Bob." Red hands Bob his glass. "See, look at that! High quality service!"

"Ohhhh, Red!" Kitty runs out into the garage with a pie. "I made cherry!"

"Cherry pie, Kitty? Really? You always make peach!"

"I thought for a change--"

Kelso begins to walk into the garage when Red grabs the pie from Kitty and slams it into Kelso's face. Kelso drops the letters in his hand and runs off screaming. Kitty leaves also.

"Ah! Mail!" Red picks up the letters. "I'd like to introduce the newest segment to the show, "Mail Red". It's where you readers get to message me with current events, questions, and complaints. I bet there'll be a lot of that last one!"

MAIL RED: "This one is from Bob. And he writes, 'how come you always boss around everyone on this show? Don't you empathize with anyone else?'" Red looks to the camera. "I don't know who the hell you are, but you sir, are a dumbass." Red throws the letter over his shoulder.

Bob comes back with a full glass of lemonade for Red. "Did you read my letter, Red?"

"That was yours, Bob?"

"Yeah."

Red stares to the camera, "I rest my case." Red grabs the glass, sits back, and begins to sip it.

TV AD: Red and Bob are sitting with glasses of lemonade.

"Crystal Light, the perfect powdered refreshment for anytime of the year!"

"Uh, Bob?"

"Yes, Red?"

"I'm the one who does the advertisements."

"Sorry, Red."

"Crystal Light: what he said."

THE END

More season three tidbits coming soon! Be sure to send your messages via PM for Red to read!