Title: Josh's Oral Fixation

Author: Elizabeth Bennet-Darcy

Disclaimer: They are not mine for keeps. I'll just borrow them, play very carefully and put them back unharmed (relatively).

Summary: Humorous little story that was inspired when one of my third grade students did the same thing.

Spoilers: Set in the fourth season during the election

Rating: G

President Josiah Bartlet's senior staff was in the middle of an intense reelection meeting in the Roosevelt room. Toby Ziegler was leaning his elbows on the table, his head in his hands. C.J. Cregg was sitting back with her legs crossed swinging her glasses between her fingers. Sam Seaborn was tapping out a random rhythm on the table with a pen. Leo McGarry had his arms crossed, his head leaned back against his chair and his eyes closed. Donna Moss was seated next to her boss twirling her long blonde hair around her fingers. Josh Lyman was sitting with his chair close to the table, with both feet resting on the edge of the table, his knees pulled up against his chest. He was sucking and chewing on the end of his pen.

They had just seen the latest Ritchie campaign commercial which had basically called the President a dangerous liar and his staff an evil group intent on destroying the Union. They were trying to come up with a response that didn't sound petulant or look as if they took the charges seriously, but at the same time make it clear that the staff didn't perform satanic rituals in the Oval Office.

They had spent the last two hours throwing out ideas and dismissing them almost at once. They were tired and edgy and overworked and they were beginning to become discouraged. As Sam's rhythm became more random Toby gripped his head harder. Leo knitted his brow tighter. C.J. swung her glasses faster. Donna twisted her hair tighter and Josh chomped on his pen more intently.

Some of the greatest mind of the generation had come to a breaking point when Josh's feet suddenly hit the floor. The sound in the silent room startled the rest of the occupants. They jumped and turned toward the Deputy Chief of Staff. Josh was doubled over coughing and apparently choking.

Donna placed a hand on Josh's back, "Are you alright?"
Josh shook his head and coughed again. Donna handed him a tissue and he brought it to his mouth. When he pulled the tissue away Donna was almost afraid it would have blood on it, he was coughing so hard. To her surprise the liquid on the tissue was black. She laughed a little and grabbed Josh's chin.

When the rest of the staff saw Josh's face the tension of the last few hours dissolved in shouts of laughter. The Deputy Chief of Staff's lips were stained black. He had black on his teeth and tongue and was spitting black saliva into his tissue.

"It's not funny," he said indignantly.

His friends were laughing too hard to answer him.

"You better brush your teeth before they stain," C.J. managed, sending the room into another fit of laughter several minutes later. Josh sighed and began to laugh with his friends. As he left the room in search of his spare tooth brush he heard Donna say, "That's the problem with having an oral fixation."