Where the Wild Students Are
Crossover Fanfic by Kathryn Grover
***
Daria is property of MTV.
Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Please don't sue me, It's really not worth my Sick, Sad, Bank account.
***
Chapter 1
Welcome to Lawndale High!
***
It was the beginning of a new semester.
After a very long and politically correct speech by the principal, the
students filed out of the auditorium and into the cafeteria.
And so did the daily gossip.
Daria and Jane sat at a lunch table discussing the subject of the
speech: There was a group of exchange students coming to Lawndale High.
Jane: So your family is hosting one of the exchange students?
Daria: Yeah, Brittany talked my mom into it. The one we're keeping is
the nephew of her Karate teacher. She can't keep him because he's
afraid of cats, and she's got a cheetah living in her back yard.
Jane: What about his uncle?
Daria: He's a cat breeder, specializing in crosses of Ragdoll and
Egyptian Rex.
Jane: Ouch. Kind of an odd thing to be afraid of though. Must've had a
really bad childhood experience. So, what do you know about him? Is he
cute?
Daria: I've only seen one picture. He's cute, but I'm not making any
judgements until he displays his personality. Apparently, he's the
sports type, and if he turns out to be anything like Kevin, Then I'm
gonna need those rubber walls in my bedroom. But according to his
profile, he collects comic books, and is a Star Wars fan, so I'm
guessing he's at least halfway normal.
Jane: Halfway normal for a geek that is. What does your sister think?
Daria: She's been arranging her clothes for the past week now. She
wants to be prepared just in case he's dating material. But if he does
turn out to be a sci-fi geek, I'll have a whole new way of annoying my
sister for the next semester.
Jane: Her reaction might be great artistic inspiration. Call me over
when he arrives.
Daria: His plane arrives at 6:00 tonight. I'll be waiting at home, if
you want to join me, that's fine.
Jane: Will be there. By the way, how's his English?
Daria: I've heard it's pretty good. He did a lot of travelling as a kid.
Jane: Then why bother being an exchange student?
Daria: Maybe he has some annoying family members to avoid. I envy him,
and pity him, at the same time. On one hand, he gets away from his
annoying family, on the other hand, he gets to live in the same house
as my sister. Bad sign.
***
*click*
The remote control button was pressed, and a commercial aired.
TV: Cursed waters turning people into animals? Animals turning into
people? Soaking wet Jusenkyo Curses, Today, on Sick Sad World......
Quinn came down the stairs, carrying some beauty item or another.
Quinn: Daria, shouldn't you be getting ready for when the exchange
student gets here?
Daria: I'm ready.
Quinn: You're not even going to halfway change your look to impress him?
Daria: Why?
Quinn: Why? I mean, look at you! I'm dressed in the latest fashions,
and all you ever wear is that stupid outfit of yours.
Daria: Hey, at least I'm not trying to attract a guy just so I can tell
him off, like you attempt to do to nearly every other guy in the school.
Quinn paused for a moment.
Quinn: Oh, no! I forgot about the curlers!
Quinn ran upstairs. The doorbell rang. Daria got up and answered the
door, in her usual monotonous manner.
Jane: Hey, Daria. Is the exchange student here yet?
Daria: Sorry. The parental units still haven't brought him back in
their spaceship yet. You'll have to hang out with me, the only human in
the family, and Quinn, the overly-fashionable vulcan, until they get
back.
Jane: What does that make me?
Daria: Probably a Klingon.
Jane: Watch our new friend show up in a red shirt. That would be a
perfect finishing touch, wouldn't you say?
Daria: Now, now Jane. You know as well as I do that creepy stuff
happens when you refer to people as Star Trek characters behind their
backs.
Jane: Like you were doing with your sister?
Daria: Nah, I think it would be funny if her ears grew a few sizes.
Jane: Maybe we could convince her that it's fashionable to have big
ears, then recommend a plastic surgeon.
Daria: And get the whole fashion club to follow on her trail? And what
if it actually became a trend? Then we'd be responsible.
Jane: Point taken. Let's wait for them to grow on their own.
Quinn chose that moment to run down the stairs.
Quinn: Has anybody seen my butterfly earrings?
Quinn stopped to stare at Daria.
Quinn: Daria, please change your clothes. You are so embarrassing.
Quinn ran back up the stairs.
Jane: Ya know, Daria, maybe you should take her advice.
Daria: Say, WHAT?
Jane: Yeah. If for some reason this guy goes for you, and she considers
him dating material, it'll drive her even crazier than if he were a sci-
fi geek.
Daria: Nah. It'll only drive her nutso if he goes for me like I am. If
I were to dress differently, she'd go on this major "I told you so"
craze. Therefore, I'm staying this way.
Jane: Actually, I was thinking of the "Bride of Frankenstein" costume
in your closet.
Daria: Oh, give the guy a break. It's his first day in Lawndale.
Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening interrupted this
intelligent conversation.
Helen: We're Home! Jake, take those bags upstairs.
Jake: Why do I have ta drag the bags upstairs?
Helen: Daria! Quinn! Come meet Ranma!
Jane: Alrighty then, let's go size him up.
Daria and Jane's attempts to get up from the couch were interrupted by
Quinn jumping over the couch and running faster than a speeding bullet
toward the front door. THEN, they made a second attempt.
Jane: What's with your sister?
Daria: She probably wants to tell the exchange student that I'm her
cousin so that he won't tell the fashion club that I'm her sister.
Jane: I'm hoping he's smarter than that.
Daria: Don't worry, It said everything about our family relations in
the host profiles. She has no way of pretending. Even if he is as dumb
as Kevin.
Jane: Don't jinx it.
Daria and Jane arrive at the front door just as a conversation began.
Quinn: And, if you prove to be proper dating material, I'll even let
you sit at the far end of our lunch table........
The exchange student was backed up against the wall, apparently afraid
for his life.
Ranma: Please, PLEASE let Daria be normal..........
Daria(just entering room): Define "Normal".
Ranma: How about, somebody who won't chase me around and tell me I have
permission to date them?
Daria: Close enough. I'm Daria, this is my friend, Jane.
Jane: And don't worry about Quinn. She just thinks EVERY boy loves her.
Ranma: Sorry if I was acting a little wierd back there. It's just she
reminds me of somebody.
Crashing noises emit from up the stairs.
Helen(yelling from top of stairs): JAKE YOU IDIOT!
Daria: And I think you've met my parents already. *looks at watch*
Well, now, look at the time. The California State Demolition Derby
championships are on in two minutes. Care to watch?
Ranma: Sure.
They all sit in front of the TV. What a perfect way to introduce an
exchange student to American life!
Daria: Oh, and Jane?
Jane: Yeah?
Daria: What were you saying about a red shirt?
Crashing noises come from the TV.
La la la la la!!!!!!
***
Later that evening:
***
Daria sat in her room, reading, of all things, Moby Dick. Suddenly,
Quinn decided to "grace" Daria with her presence, unannounced.
Quinn: Alright! I want answers!
Daria: It helps to have a question first.
Quinn: Why did that guy go for you!
Daria: Easy. He wanted a friend, not girlfriend. He didn't have any
romantic interest in you.
Quinn: Why's that? He isn't........you know........
Daria: No, he's engaged.
Quinn: He's ENGAGED? How do you know?
Daria: He told us after Jane attempted to ask him out. Maybe if you had
treated him like a human being, instead of treating him like those
wimps who sit at your table, he would have told you that.
Quinn: Aren't all guys like that?
Daria: No. There's these things called personality types.
Daria picks up a book and tosses it at her.
Daria: See here, the enniagram. You might even learn how to catch an
intelligent date.
Quinn(walking off): Hmmm......
Tossing Moby Dick aside, Daria slumped into bed, hearing the unbearably
familiar noises of Brittany Spears in Quinn's room. Thus endeth another
day.
***
The Next Morning.........
***
Quinn: Mom?
Helen: Yes? What is it Quinn?
Quinn: Do you prefer Basketball, or Piano music?
As Quinn marked down the answers in her notebook, Daria was rummaging
through the cuboard for her daily dose of Frosted Cheerios. Jake
screamed over a cell phone. Helen tried her best not to ask Quinn if
she'd been hit on the head recently.
Helen: Daria, where's Ranma?
Daria(grabbing the editorial section of the newspaper): Taking a shower.
Helen: He better hurry, or he'll be late. Did he sleep in?
Daria: Actually, he got up and went for a jog.
Helen: How healthy. You should do that sometime.
Daria: P.E. class is enough for me, thank you.
Ranma just then came down the stairs.
Helen: Well, good morning Ranma. Did you sleep well?
Ranma: I kept hearing these wierd noises in the next room.
Daria: That would be the evil demon known as Brittany Spears, who my
sister has many CDs of.
Helen: Quinn, you shouldn't be playing those late at night.
Quinn: But I just bought that CD yesterday!
Ranma: Oh, Brittany Spears! My fiance has a dartboard with her picture
on it! I was wondering who that was.
Quinn looked somewhat disgruntled. She picked up her notebook and left.
Ranma: What's with her?
Daria: You don't realize how easy you make my position as the older
sister.
***
Sandy: So, Quinn, why isn't the exchange student sitting at our lunch
table?
Quinn: I'm not sure. But Daria gave me this book on personality types.
She says it'll help us find guys that we'll actually like.
Sandy: You would trust Daria on a matter of getting boys to like you?
Quinn: Well, read it!
While the fashion club started to argue whether the personality types
6, 2, or 7 made better boyfriends, Daria and Jane had other things on
mind.
Jane: So, what do you think of this doodle I made of Upchuck today?
Does it do him justice?
Daria looked at the picture of what appeared to be
Upchuck................in a guillotine.
Daria: Only if you actually manage to get him IN the guillotine.
Jane: Wanna see the blueprints?
Daria: Do you have them with you?
Jane: Unfortunately, no. They were too large and complex to fit in my
binder. All I need is some bait.......
Daria: Sorry, I'm not stupid enough.
Jane: Anyway, do you have any idea why a cameraman from "Sick Sad
World" was following Ranma around today before he beat him up?
Daria: Not a clue. He might dress funny, and attract large amounts of
girls, but he doesn't appear to be tabloid material. I'll let you know
if any UFO's land.
Jane: You lived in New Mexico for WAY too long, girl.
Suddenly, the two were approched by a third, and slightly damp redhead.
Ranma: Um, Daria?
Daria and Jane looked up to see a redhead girl, in the same clothes
Ranma had started school in.
Daria: We're sorry, the Karate Exchange Student fan club has been moved
to room 102.
Ranma: Very funny, Daria. You guys know where I can get any hot water?
Daria: Try the bathroom?
Ranma: Um, you mind coming with me? I have to show you something.
Jane: I have a feeling this is going to be very interesting. Besides,
we got nothing better to do.
They followed the girl who, they didn't know was Ranma.
***
Daria and Jane waited outside the restroom, as the redheadded girl
entered the mens restroom carrying a styrofoam cup, much to their
surprise.
Jane: Man, that girl's wierd. I think I'll have some new painting
subjects when I get home.
Ranma then emerged again from the restroom, carrying a cup of hot water.
Ranma: What I am about to show you is top secret.
Daria: Go on......
And the girl dumped the water over her head.
Daria isn't often shocked. But then again, you don't often meet a
victim of Jusenkyo. Jane on the other hand..........
Jane: Hey, that was a neat trick! You do illusionist shows or something?
Ranma: Actually, no. This was the result of some cursed spring my pop
dragged me to when I was a freshman. Now I change into a girl whenever
I'm hit with cold water. Observe.
Ranma filled the cup in the drinking fountain and splashed himself
again.
Jane: That explains the TV tabloid guy.
Daria: Just when I thought our school couldn't get any
wierder...........
It was at that fatal moment that Upchuck decided to appear.
Upchuck: Why hello, Daria? Who is that beautiful girl next to you?
Daria: It just got wierder.
Upchuck: What is your name, my beauty?
Ranma looked calm for a sec, then grabbed Upchucks hand and smashed him
into a wall.
Ranma: None of your buisiness, pervert!
Jane(Studying the hole in the wall): Oooh, Upchuck sure made a good
impression this time.
Daria: Don't worry, Ranma. In exchange for what you just did, your
secret is safe with us.
***
Well, how's it going so far? I'd really appreciate some comments, as I
usually wait until I'm completely finished before releasing any of a
fanfiction.
I'd also like to add one more thing.............SPEAR
BRITTANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crossover Fanfic by Kathryn Grover
***
Daria is property of MTV.
Ranma 1/2 is property of Rumiko Takahashi.
Please don't sue me, It's really not worth my Sick, Sad, Bank account.
***
Chapter 1
Welcome to Lawndale High!
***
It was the beginning of a new semester.
After a very long and politically correct speech by the principal, the
students filed out of the auditorium and into the cafeteria.
And so did the daily gossip.
Daria and Jane sat at a lunch table discussing the subject of the
speech: There was a group of exchange students coming to Lawndale High.
Jane: So your family is hosting one of the exchange students?
Daria: Yeah, Brittany talked my mom into it. The one we're keeping is
the nephew of her Karate teacher. She can't keep him because he's
afraid of cats, and she's got a cheetah living in her back yard.
Jane: What about his uncle?
Daria: He's a cat breeder, specializing in crosses of Ragdoll and
Egyptian Rex.
Jane: Ouch. Kind of an odd thing to be afraid of though. Must've had a
really bad childhood experience. So, what do you know about him? Is he
cute?
Daria: I've only seen one picture. He's cute, but I'm not making any
judgements until he displays his personality. Apparently, he's the
sports type, and if he turns out to be anything like Kevin, Then I'm
gonna need those rubber walls in my bedroom. But according to his
profile, he collects comic books, and is a Star Wars fan, so I'm
guessing he's at least halfway normal.
Jane: Halfway normal for a geek that is. What does your sister think?
Daria: She's been arranging her clothes for the past week now. She
wants to be prepared just in case he's dating material. But if he does
turn out to be a sci-fi geek, I'll have a whole new way of annoying my
sister for the next semester.
Jane: Her reaction might be great artistic inspiration. Call me over
when he arrives.
Daria: His plane arrives at 6:00 tonight. I'll be waiting at home, if
you want to join me, that's fine.
Jane: Will be there. By the way, how's his English?
Daria: I've heard it's pretty good. He did a lot of travelling as a kid.
Jane: Then why bother being an exchange student?
Daria: Maybe he has some annoying family members to avoid. I envy him,
and pity him, at the same time. On one hand, he gets away from his
annoying family, on the other hand, he gets to live in the same house
as my sister. Bad sign.
***
*click*
The remote control button was pressed, and a commercial aired.
TV: Cursed waters turning people into animals? Animals turning into
people? Soaking wet Jusenkyo Curses, Today, on Sick Sad World......
Quinn came down the stairs, carrying some beauty item or another.
Quinn: Daria, shouldn't you be getting ready for when the exchange
student gets here?
Daria: I'm ready.
Quinn: You're not even going to halfway change your look to impress him?
Daria: Why?
Quinn: Why? I mean, look at you! I'm dressed in the latest fashions,
and all you ever wear is that stupid outfit of yours.
Daria: Hey, at least I'm not trying to attract a guy just so I can tell
him off, like you attempt to do to nearly every other guy in the school.
Quinn paused for a moment.
Quinn: Oh, no! I forgot about the curlers!
Quinn ran upstairs. The doorbell rang. Daria got up and answered the
door, in her usual monotonous manner.
Jane: Hey, Daria. Is the exchange student here yet?
Daria: Sorry. The parental units still haven't brought him back in
their spaceship yet. You'll have to hang out with me, the only human in
the family, and Quinn, the overly-fashionable vulcan, until they get
back.
Jane: What does that make me?
Daria: Probably a Klingon.
Jane: Watch our new friend show up in a red shirt. That would be a
perfect finishing touch, wouldn't you say?
Daria: Now, now Jane. You know as well as I do that creepy stuff
happens when you refer to people as Star Trek characters behind their
backs.
Jane: Like you were doing with your sister?
Daria: Nah, I think it would be funny if her ears grew a few sizes.
Jane: Maybe we could convince her that it's fashionable to have big
ears, then recommend a plastic surgeon.
Daria: And get the whole fashion club to follow on her trail? And what
if it actually became a trend? Then we'd be responsible.
Jane: Point taken. Let's wait for them to grow on their own.
Quinn chose that moment to run down the stairs.
Quinn: Has anybody seen my butterfly earrings?
Quinn stopped to stare at Daria.
Quinn: Daria, please change your clothes. You are so embarrassing.
Quinn ran back up the stairs.
Jane: Ya know, Daria, maybe you should take her advice.
Daria: Say, WHAT?
Jane: Yeah. If for some reason this guy goes for you, and she considers
him dating material, it'll drive her even crazier than if he were a sci-
fi geek.
Daria: Nah. It'll only drive her nutso if he goes for me like I am. If
I were to dress differently, she'd go on this major "I told you so"
craze. Therefore, I'm staying this way.
Jane: Actually, I was thinking of the "Bride of Frankenstein" costume
in your closet.
Daria: Oh, give the guy a break. It's his first day in Lawndale.
Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening interrupted this
intelligent conversation.
Helen: We're Home! Jake, take those bags upstairs.
Jake: Why do I have ta drag the bags upstairs?
Helen: Daria! Quinn! Come meet Ranma!
Jane: Alrighty then, let's go size him up.
Daria and Jane's attempts to get up from the couch were interrupted by
Quinn jumping over the couch and running faster than a speeding bullet
toward the front door. THEN, they made a second attempt.
Jane: What's with your sister?
Daria: She probably wants to tell the exchange student that I'm her
cousin so that he won't tell the fashion club that I'm her sister.
Jane: I'm hoping he's smarter than that.
Daria: Don't worry, It said everything about our family relations in
the host profiles. She has no way of pretending. Even if he is as dumb
as Kevin.
Jane: Don't jinx it.
Daria and Jane arrive at the front door just as a conversation began.
Quinn: And, if you prove to be proper dating material, I'll even let
you sit at the far end of our lunch table........
The exchange student was backed up against the wall, apparently afraid
for his life.
Ranma: Please, PLEASE let Daria be normal..........
Daria(just entering room): Define "Normal".
Ranma: How about, somebody who won't chase me around and tell me I have
permission to date them?
Daria: Close enough. I'm Daria, this is my friend, Jane.
Jane: And don't worry about Quinn. She just thinks EVERY boy loves her.
Ranma: Sorry if I was acting a little wierd back there. It's just she
reminds me of somebody.
Crashing noises emit from up the stairs.
Helen(yelling from top of stairs): JAKE YOU IDIOT!
Daria: And I think you've met my parents already. *looks at watch*
Well, now, look at the time. The California State Demolition Derby
championships are on in two minutes. Care to watch?
Ranma: Sure.
They all sit in front of the TV. What a perfect way to introduce an
exchange student to American life!
Daria: Oh, and Jane?
Jane: Yeah?
Daria: What were you saying about a red shirt?
Crashing noises come from the TV.
La la la la la!!!!!!
***
Later that evening:
***
Daria sat in her room, reading, of all things, Moby Dick. Suddenly,
Quinn decided to "grace" Daria with her presence, unannounced.
Quinn: Alright! I want answers!
Daria: It helps to have a question first.
Quinn: Why did that guy go for you!
Daria: Easy. He wanted a friend, not girlfriend. He didn't have any
romantic interest in you.
Quinn: Why's that? He isn't........you know........
Daria: No, he's engaged.
Quinn: He's ENGAGED? How do you know?
Daria: He told us after Jane attempted to ask him out. Maybe if you had
treated him like a human being, instead of treating him like those
wimps who sit at your table, he would have told you that.
Quinn: Aren't all guys like that?
Daria: No. There's these things called personality types.
Daria picks up a book and tosses it at her.
Daria: See here, the enniagram. You might even learn how to catch an
intelligent date.
Quinn(walking off): Hmmm......
Tossing Moby Dick aside, Daria slumped into bed, hearing the unbearably
familiar noises of Brittany Spears in Quinn's room. Thus endeth another
day.
***
The Next Morning.........
***
Quinn: Mom?
Helen: Yes? What is it Quinn?
Quinn: Do you prefer Basketball, or Piano music?
As Quinn marked down the answers in her notebook, Daria was rummaging
through the cuboard for her daily dose of Frosted Cheerios. Jake
screamed over a cell phone. Helen tried her best not to ask Quinn if
she'd been hit on the head recently.
Helen: Daria, where's Ranma?
Daria(grabbing the editorial section of the newspaper): Taking a shower.
Helen: He better hurry, or he'll be late. Did he sleep in?
Daria: Actually, he got up and went for a jog.
Helen: How healthy. You should do that sometime.
Daria: P.E. class is enough for me, thank you.
Ranma just then came down the stairs.
Helen: Well, good morning Ranma. Did you sleep well?
Ranma: I kept hearing these wierd noises in the next room.
Daria: That would be the evil demon known as Brittany Spears, who my
sister has many CDs of.
Helen: Quinn, you shouldn't be playing those late at night.
Quinn: But I just bought that CD yesterday!
Ranma: Oh, Brittany Spears! My fiance has a dartboard with her picture
on it! I was wondering who that was.
Quinn looked somewhat disgruntled. She picked up her notebook and left.
Ranma: What's with her?
Daria: You don't realize how easy you make my position as the older
sister.
***
Sandy: So, Quinn, why isn't the exchange student sitting at our lunch
table?
Quinn: I'm not sure. But Daria gave me this book on personality types.
She says it'll help us find guys that we'll actually like.
Sandy: You would trust Daria on a matter of getting boys to like you?
Quinn: Well, read it!
While the fashion club started to argue whether the personality types
6, 2, or 7 made better boyfriends, Daria and Jane had other things on
mind.
Jane: So, what do you think of this doodle I made of Upchuck today?
Does it do him justice?
Daria looked at the picture of what appeared to be
Upchuck................in a guillotine.
Daria: Only if you actually manage to get him IN the guillotine.
Jane: Wanna see the blueprints?
Daria: Do you have them with you?
Jane: Unfortunately, no. They were too large and complex to fit in my
binder. All I need is some bait.......
Daria: Sorry, I'm not stupid enough.
Jane: Anyway, do you have any idea why a cameraman from "Sick Sad
World" was following Ranma around today before he beat him up?
Daria: Not a clue. He might dress funny, and attract large amounts of
girls, but he doesn't appear to be tabloid material. I'll let you know
if any UFO's land.
Jane: You lived in New Mexico for WAY too long, girl.
Suddenly, the two were approched by a third, and slightly damp redhead.
Ranma: Um, Daria?
Daria and Jane looked up to see a redhead girl, in the same clothes
Ranma had started school in.
Daria: We're sorry, the Karate Exchange Student fan club has been moved
to room 102.
Ranma: Very funny, Daria. You guys know where I can get any hot water?
Daria: Try the bathroom?
Ranma: Um, you mind coming with me? I have to show you something.
Jane: I have a feeling this is going to be very interesting. Besides,
we got nothing better to do.
They followed the girl who, they didn't know was Ranma.
***
Daria and Jane waited outside the restroom, as the redheadded girl
entered the mens restroom carrying a styrofoam cup, much to their
surprise.
Jane: Man, that girl's wierd. I think I'll have some new painting
subjects when I get home.
Ranma then emerged again from the restroom, carrying a cup of hot water.
Ranma: What I am about to show you is top secret.
Daria: Go on......
And the girl dumped the water over her head.
Daria isn't often shocked. But then again, you don't often meet a
victim of Jusenkyo. Jane on the other hand..........
Jane: Hey, that was a neat trick! You do illusionist shows or something?
Ranma: Actually, no. This was the result of some cursed spring my pop
dragged me to when I was a freshman. Now I change into a girl whenever
I'm hit with cold water. Observe.
Ranma filled the cup in the drinking fountain and splashed himself
again.
Jane: That explains the TV tabloid guy.
Daria: Just when I thought our school couldn't get any
wierder...........
It was at that fatal moment that Upchuck decided to appear.
Upchuck: Why hello, Daria? Who is that beautiful girl next to you?
Daria: It just got wierder.
Upchuck: What is your name, my beauty?
Ranma looked calm for a sec, then grabbed Upchucks hand and smashed him
into a wall.
Ranma: None of your buisiness, pervert!
Jane(Studying the hole in the wall): Oooh, Upchuck sure made a good
impression this time.
Daria: Don't worry, Ranma. In exchange for what you just did, your
secret is safe with us.
***
Well, how's it going so far? I'd really appreciate some comments, as I
usually wait until I'm completely finished before releasing any of a
fanfiction.
I'd also like to add one more thing.............SPEAR
BRITTANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!