Title: Of Parasols and Feathered Hats

Author: Leslie Safran

Edit/ October 17, 2005: Edited to fix minor plot hole.

Boom

"Wha? What time is it?"

"It's about 7:00. Norrington should be here any time. He said 6:30, but you know him. Always early."

"Elizabeth, what was that boom?"

"I think it was the front door…He's back, Will. I'm positive."

"Good God, no. I though we'd seen the last of him after he terrorized the maids in the kitchen."

"Well apparently not, because he's here."

Scream

"Yes, I can see that."

Sigh

"Come on, Will, we'd better see what he's up to and stop him, hopefully before he finds the pie I baked for Anamaria's birthday…. Jack! No! Stop that! Put that down, that was our wedding gift from James!"

"Of all the times for him to visit."

"We told you this last time, Jack: give us a warning before you come over."

"Preferably a week's notice so we can move…"

"Will!"

"I can't help it. Every time he comes over he breaks something. Last time it was the chandelier in the kitchen, this time it's going to be the chandelier in the foyer."

"No it's not, see? He's moved on to my parasol, and I've got more of those. In fact that one he's got is particularly ugly and was given to me by someone I don't actually like. Give it another whack, Jack!"

Thwack

"Elizabeth that's not very nice. You've known Sadie since you were fourteen."

"And she's been awful to me all these years. I've been meaning to 'accidentally' loose that parasol for quite some time now, but this works much better. This way there's no chance of accidentally finding it."

"You're horrible. I don't know why I married you."

"Because I saved you from those pirates, dear, remember?"

"No I believe it was me saving you from those pirates."

"At first. Then—"

Crunch

"A discussion for another time. Right now our priority is getting Jack away from the closet."

"I agree—Jack that parasol is one of my favorites so please, put it down."

"…Why does he listen to you!"

"He likes me better, obviously. Even after all this time we've known him, you two have never gotten along the way—"

"Jack!"

Scramble

"—we have. It could be because he knows how fun you are to provoke."

"Would you look at this! He ripped the feather out of my favorite hat!"

"We can buy you a new hat, Will."

"Why are you so calm about all of this?"

"Because I know if I ask, he'll stop."

"Then why haven't you!"

"Because Jack is right; it's fun to see you this way."

"I'm begging you: make this thing get out of our closet."

"Oh, all right. Jack, come here."

Door opens

"…I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason to find two fully grown adults holding a monkey in the middle of a room that looks like a hurricane went through it."