Remedy

The next three days were a blur, and Tifa Lockheart would have to be an idiot to not understand why it felt like her head was immersed in cloudy water.

She couldn't stop thinking about it -- about any of it.

It had been easy, at first. It had been so easy to chalk everything up to spur of the moment stupidity. She had come to terms with that -- had repeated the thoughts until there was nothing left to repeat. When he showed up at her bar, though... when they had that conversation, she admitted something that she knew she never wanted to admit at all.

It had been interesting.

And it had. It most definitely had. Tifa just thought she'd be able to leave it at that. Unfortunately...

It began with breakfast the morning after. Despite constant late nights, Tifa had always been a morning person, had always felt refreshed even after the longest, most tiring nights. Rufus' untimely visit the night before hadn't pushed back her self-imposed bedtime -- not nearly in the slightest, so she had only herself to blame when her mind wandered to everything and nothing in particular. The only thing that seemed able to snap Tifa to her senses was the wailing of a fire alarm overhead. This was of course followed by the distinct smell of burning pancakes, and the somewhat worried questions Marlene and Denzel had for her, because Tifa had been acting strange as of late and they had noticed.

Cereal was had for breakfast in the wake of that disaster.

The next day, Tifa found herself with a less than pleased Yuffie Kisaragi.

"Geez, did you forget we were going out, today?"

Tifa blinked dumbly a moment, then felt her face color in embarrassment. She had made plans with the girl, but...

Yuffie groaned, "You did, didn't you? Gawd... I had a feeling. You always call, like, a million times to make sure everything goes to plan." She strolled on in and plopped down on the nearest couch.

"I'm so sorry, Yuffie. I've... had a lot on my mind..." Tifa shut the door behind her and then sat opposite Yuffie, embarrassment slowly becoming something more akin to shame. She should have remembered. She shouldn't have been distracted by sense memory; the scent of his cologne and the softness of his hair. And, there she went again...

"Hey, hey, Gaia to Tifa!" Yuffie waved a hand dramatically in front of Tifa and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I can see what you mean. Y'seem pretty out of it right now... Anything you want to talk about?"

Tifa smiled and shook her head, offering Yuffie tea instead. She knew that the younger girl enjoyed these kinds of talks with her, enjoyed having another girl to talk to when politics and reconstruction and Godo got to be too much and she needed a break. They had almost a younger sister/older sister dynamic going on, but... Discussing the tangled web she had weaved with Rufus Shinra? That would have to wait a bit. She herself wasn't even sure where she stood with the man. There was no need to confuse Yuffie of all people, especially if this turned out to be nothing and things actually went back to normal.

"I hope you're not going all Cid on me." Yuffie paused, grin on her face, and added, "Chai?"

"You got it."

They fell into simple, companionable conversation; talks about Wutai and the bar and the kids. It was easy for Tifa to handle and almost felt like normalcy. She had figured the other had just let the matter drop and that was to her liking. It made her afternoon much more managable since she still didn't know what, if anything, she was going to do.

So maybe that's why when Tifa walked Yuffie out the door, turned to leave and felt a hesitant tap on her shoulder, she was a bit surprised. Her surprise only grew when she noticed the serious look in Yuffie's usual carefree or joking eyes.

"Listen, Tifa. I'm sure whatever it is... You have a reason to not talk about it, but I'm with ya! Just try to tackle it headon! You always beat around the bush and let things eat at you... But... Oh, Gawd. Maybe I shouldn't have--"

Tifa felt her gaze move sidelong, but forced herself to look back at Yuffie. "No. Don't feel bad! You're right. I'll keep that in mind."

And she did.

On the third day, Tifa found herself once again standing at the gates of the Shinra compound, waiting for Rude to lead her in. So many things had changed since the last time she had stood there. It almost boggled her mind. She had been so... angry.

It should have concerned her more that anger wasn't forefront in her mind anymore. She just wasn't sure what was forefront in her mind at that moment. She was especially unsure when she was finally led to Rufus' home office and found him mulling over paperwork, a pair of reading glasses perched on his nose, and a phone wedged between his cheek and shoulder. She couldn't help but notice the way his furrowed brow seemed to soften slightly as he raised a finger toward her, gesturing a quick 'just a moment' before he turned his swivel chair a little and began fervently scribbling notes, and talking logistics that she wasn't even sure she wanted to understand.

But why was she even noticing any of this. Oh, this had become such a mess...

"Shouldn't take long."

Tifa nearly jumped, having momentarily forgotten that Rude was even there. "What makes you say that?"

"He's talking to Tuesti."

"Reeve?" Tifa knew they were on okay terms, but she hadn't learned anything about Rufus working with Reeve. It seemed to her like Reeve didn't want anything to do with Shinra... at least from a business standpoint.

"They have an understanding... of sorts."

"I could always wait outs--"

"He should be finishing up about now. They don't exactly get chummy."

Tifa opened her mouth to question exactly what this understanding was, even though she knew that Rude wouldn't be at liberty to divulge anything like that, but she was cut off by the sound of a phone hanging up.

"You can stand down, Rude. If Ms Lockheart actually planned on killing me, I think she would have already tried something." His smile was unreadable and Tifa couldn't help remembering the last time she was here, and how easy it had been to pin him against the wall. How things had changed...

Rufus waited until Rude was gone, until the soft click of his door closing resounded. "So have you figured things out?"

Tifa crossed her arms in front of her chest, knowing the action would tip him off to her nervousness, but not caring. "No. I haven't." She waited for him to say something -- something condescending or sarcastic or confused... anything. Instead he raised an eyebrow as if waiting for an explanation. She opted for a curveball instead. "I'm wondering something."

"Hmm?"

"What exactly do you want?"

"Pardon?" Tifa knew that Rufus was playing this cooler than he had to be actually feeling. She had grown a little more accustomed to him over time. Something in the way he shifted his weight and the way his stare hardened.

"You want me to figure things out. You want me to admit feelings that I seriously doubt exist. You want me to fall for you which is, by the way, still the most absurd thing I have ever heard. What about you, huh? What do you get from all of this? Why are you even wasting your time when you obviously have so many important things to do?"

"...Ms Lockhea--"

"Don't Ms Lockheart me! How about you answer my questions? How about you figure things out for a change? Because it takes two -- two to do that. You weren't just on the receiving end. You were there, too, and... and..."

Rufus shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose in what had to be abject confusion and frustration. "Are you asking me if I liked it because I think--"

Tifa's eyes widened, her heart pounding, "No. No, I couldn't care less. This is about you. And I'm not a game, you know. People aren't games."

"I know, but I fail to see entirely what you're getting at."

"For the love of Shiva, how about you just give me some damned answers and then maybe I'll try to figure things out."

"Most people are a bore."

Tifa breathed. She couldn't think of an answer to that. She knew Rufus was the kind of person to have that sort of outlook, but how to actually answer that simple statement was beyond her. So she waited.

"They're predictable. They scare easily. They live their simple lives and never question anything, never do anything. They're easily placated. They believe what they want to believe." He fingered the surface of his desk thoughtfully. "You, however. You're a bit of an enigma, aren't you?"

"...You're trying to figure me out? Didn't I just say--"

"No, no. You're interesting. That's what I'm getting at. Didn't I already tell you that? I'd very much like to get to know you."

"I can see this was a waste of my time." Tifa turned on her heel, irritation only growing.

"I think so far... I like you best like this."

Tifa turned, then. It startled her... unnerved her as well, but mostly startled her. Something about his voice was laid bare, and when she looked him over, he seemed somewhat less sure of himself. His hands were hidden away in the pockets of his duster, and though his eyes were unwavering, they were less steely. "You like me when I'm angry?" She removed her hand from the doorknob and turned, looked at him from the corner of her eye.

"Not so much angry, more..." He raked his fingers through his hair and Tifa knew he was uncomfortable. "I think you're more honest this way. I think once you've lost composure, you keep yourself less in check. I... I concede that. Happy?"

Tifa couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face. It wasn't mirth, not joy of any kind. She wasn't entirely sure what it was that flooded through her. It was a problem she was going to have to really look into. Rufus seemed to have that kind of effect on her. She hadn't been expecting that kind of reaction out of him, but it was a suitable response. She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Happy? Maybe a little..." A beat. "I kind of like you like this... When you aren't one hundred percent sure of something... you almost seem like an actual human being... And maybe that's something."

Rufus swallowed and Tifa could almost swear that it was audible. "Something?"

She nodded and took a tentative step toward him. "Something."