A/N: I don't own Harry Potter. Obviously.
Lucius Malfoy was furious.

In fact, it took all of his willpower to keep from using the killing curse on Draco as the boy walked into the kitchen, gawked at his father, and kept walking and gawking until he tripped over a chair.

It took all of his willpower to keep from using the killing curse on all of the wizards and witches who passed him on the street this morning, staring and paying so little attention to where they were walking that most of them fell down hills or into open manholes.

It took all of his willpower to keep from using the killing curse on Severus Snape, who stopped him on the street, grabbed the blonde man's shoulder and peered with un-Snape-like shock into Lucius' face.

"Why," he asked, "are you wearing red lipstick, a black velvet minidress, falsies, and high heels?"

"Damnably careless fanfic writers," Lucius explained tersely. "One stupid girl spelt my name 'Luscious'."