Dressed in my favorite suit with a splash of bold green for confidence, I strolled into Jack's office and shut the door.
"Closing the door …," he said musingly.
Oh God … did he have any idea how gorgeous he was? Was I doing the right thing?
"Yeah. Deeply symbolic," I replied.
"Really?"
I smiled at him awkwardly, then began. "I really like you." Could even have been more, but for … "We're good together."
Jack stood up, drawing my attention to the broad shoulders and strong chest I knew so well. "Yes," he agreed, "we are." Then he paused. "But …"
"You have issues. It's okay — we all do." God, did we ever! "There's just one big one in particular that I don't think I can love with." Jack raised his eyebrows and I flinched. "Live with," I corrected hastily. "I need to get out before I get more involved. We can still work together, can't we? I'd hate to have to ask for reassignment. This is really important to me. We agreed this would never affect the job."
"We did," Jack said steadily enough, although I could see the regret in his soft brown eyes. For all he liked to think no-one could read him, those chocolate orbs were pretty damn expressive.
"Good." I smiled and walked toward the door, then turned and put my hands on my hips. "You know; there's just one thing I don't understand."
"Just one?" Jack said mockingly. Why he felt the need to hide his intelligence, I don't know.
"Is the Air Force the only thing keeping you two apart? Rules and regulations? Cos if it is, you're making a very big mistake."
"And you know what I should do?" Jack said curiously. Didn't even attempt to play dumb this time.
"Retire," I told him simply.
"Again."
"Don't get me wrong — you are considered invaluable to the program by the Pentagon, but the President has appointed a civilian to run the SGC before." Jack nodded. "Just a thought."
With that, I left the room, hoping to have given him something to think about. We really had been good together; he was strong, funny and intelligent. Also, passionate, considerate and surprisingly tender. Yet there'd always been a … distant quality to him that saddened me. When I'd learned about his son, I'd attributed his vague aloofness to that tragic loss.
But after seeing Colonel Carter and Jack at his house, I'd realized the real reason he hadn't wanted anyone from the SGC to know about us. Even though the Colonel was engaged, there was definitely chemistry between her and Jack. I didn't know what exactly was between them, but after that night with Jack — where I'd had some of the most satisfying love-making ever — I could feel myself falling more and more for him.
Had to get out.
And I wasn't about to play dog in the manger. Jack would likely never believe it, but he deserved happiness. He deserved love. And I just hoped Colonel Carter would realize that before it was too late.
Well … Jack didn't take my advice. Instead, he accepted a promotion and transfer to take up General Hammond's position as Head of Homeworld Security. I stood at the back of the hall, watching as General Maynard pinned him with the two silver stars that signified his new rank.
The months since I'd last seen him had been good for him. Since the defeat of the Goa'uld, the freeing of the Jaffa and the wiping out of the Replicators, he'd been able to relax slightly for the first time in years and even take a vacation. He looked tanned, strong and … really, really handsome.
I debated on whether or not to go over and see him — we'd kept in sporadic touch, but it had been weird — then decided against it when I saw Colonel Carter step over to him. She put her hand out to his and said something with a broad pleased smile on her face. He smiled back — that slow, tender smile that dimpled his cheeks and did amazing things for his face.
I sighed — not for what was, but for what could have been. If they weren't together, then it was only a matter of time. Move on, Kerry!, I told myself firmly.
I stood in the airport, waiting for the arrivals from DC, sighing and shifting uncomfortably. "Agent Johnson," a woman said.
I turned and saw Colonel Carter standing there in a pretty blue sundress and heeled sandals. I envied her — it had been months since I'd been able to wear heels. "Colonel," I replied. "How are you?"
She smiled. "I'm good," she told me. "I was sorry to hear about your accident," she added.
I closed my eyes. Yeah. A so-called simple op had turned into the biggest SNAFU known to man. The doctors had been afraid I would lose my leg, but luckily — thanks to my still-active connections with the SGC — their CMO had been able to save it. I would always have a limp, and could no longer work in the field, but at least I could walk. "Thanks," I said. "You waiting for someone?" I asked.
Now she looked uncomfortable. "General O'Neill," she replied. "He's coming in for a briefing."
A man appeared as if from out of nowhere and headed over to us. I felt my face break into a stupid smile. "Hey, babe," I greeted him brightly.
"Kerry," he said, then scooped me up into his arms for a big kiss. God, I'd missed him! After the kiss ended, he nodded to Colonel Carter. "Hi, Sam," he said.
"Agent Barrett," she replied, sounding … bemused. "I wasn't aware you two knew each other."
In the biblical sense. "We've been together a few months," I said. "Joint op."
"Ah." Then another man appeared as if from out of nowhere — were they using that Asgard transporter tech nowadays? — and came over to us. Jack O'Neill. Tall, well built and just as handsome as ever. But no girlish flutters in my heart. I was over him.
He looked over at Malcolm and I, then smirked. "I'd heard rumors," he said. "It's good to see you again, Kerry," he said. Then he nodded to Malcolm. "Agent Barrett," he added coolly.
"It's good to see you too, Jack," I replied before he could get into a war of words with Malcolm. The NID and the SGC had always had a very uncomfortable relationship due to rogue operatives on both sides. But Malcolm and Jack were both on the right side — one day they'd realize it, and be able to work together.
"Well … we'd better go," Malcolm said, tucking my hand into his. "Aruba waits for no man."
"Aruba?" Jack grinned. "Sweeet." He bent and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. "I'm glad you're happy, Kerry," he said.
"And are you?" I asked. "Happy?"
He looked over at Colonel Carter and gave another slow tender smile. "Yeah," he said. "I'm happy."
I noticed the matching rings on their left hands and nodded my head. "I'm glad for you," I told him, then gave him a kiss on the cheek, breathing in his aftershave. God … the man still smelled great! Yeah; I was with someone else. Someone who made me happy, someone I loved … but I was only human. I shook Colonel Carter's hand — or would that be Colonel O'Neill now? "Congratulations," I told her. "He's a good man."
"Thanks." She went a delicate pink, then indicated Malcolm. "So's yours," she added.
As I walked out of the terminal, I saw Jack and Sam share a deep passionate kiss and grinned to myself. That was one less issue in the man's life. Then I turned back to my own man and slipped an arm around his waist. "I missed you," I told him softly.
I really had missed him, and decided to say yes the next time he proposed. It was time I got over my own issues.