I know my nightmares by heart.

Not that they are always alike... but the important part is always there.

Tonight's performance is full of details. The cemetary is grey and misty, and still I can see the names in all those graves: Karl Rank, Philmont Delinger, Young El, Diana Troy... and the rest are just a bunch of nameless tombstones... all dear Gotham Citicens... Dear Blüdhaven Citicens... Dear fathers, mothers, sons...

I walk through them with little interest. The fact I know is just a nightmare just make it weirder, because in the pitt of my stomach I know the worst is still to come. Yes, at the end of the line, the last three graves. One empty grave, two occupied.

Oh, yes... and there are they, Dad and Steph, angry at me because they are still dead while Darla Aquista is alive, because I had let them die and now, knowing there is a chance, I let them down and buried, because I am not willing to give my life to make them live...

There was where I screamed and woke up. There was where I thanked god the Titans tower was so huge it allowed a single room for each one of us. There was where I decided against another row of bad conscience, self-pity and ugly dreams and left my room, heading to the gym.

No, I didn't even checked the hour. What for? I was a night creature, after all. By the light at the horizon I had slept at least four or five hours, wich only meant I was losing practice and becoming a sleepy bag.

The empty and silent halls relaxed me. It figures. I just had had a nightmare and the darkness and stillness of the tower at night gave me reasurance. It was just me and the shadows, just me and the emptyness... it felt quite at home.

Perhaps that's why I didn't raise the alarm when I noticed something was wrong. That homely feeling. Home, where I am alone, where I act alone, where I fight alone. So I just put on my mask and merged myself with the all conceiling shadows, sensing the wall behind me and listening for every unbelonging noise.

After I while I began to suspect I was being paranoid. Too many bounty hunters trying to kill you can make you feel a little on the edge, and that was the T Tower, for god's sake! So I relaxed, but I still let the mask on. Yes, we, paranoids, are this weird.

Then it hit me.

A fist.

I rolled as I fell, allowing my self to stand up really quickly, trying not to think on the noise ringing in my poor banged head, and turned, facing the intruder.

"You?"

We said it at the same time, wich always gives a kind of comical touch to this stupid situations.

Conner was there, looking slightly ashamed. Well, he should be. My head was gonna hurt like hell!

"I'm the one who should be surprised, Con." I said alowing my creepy paranoid self to stand back, my temples throwing me alarm signals about their poor condition. "What the hell are you doing here, hiding in the shadows, in the middle of the night?"

"And you?"

"I am supossed to be here, you don't." I didn't intend to sound that harsh, really, but I was still cheking my jaw.

"That's not..."

"You know what I mean, so please... just..."

Con sighed, shifting his wheight from one foot to the other like a repenant child.

"I couldn't sleep... and I missed you guys...so I though I could come and check... not really staying..."

"Yeah, sure.. at... -I finally checked the time- four a.m."

Con avoided my gaze.

"Oh, man! You've been here all this time!"

"Not all this time... just since... one a.m." I snorted. I didn't meant to, but I did. "Hey, it's not that pathetic!"

"I haven't said so."

"But you make it sound like it is."

"Con, I'm not..." I sighed. "Ok, yes, perhaps. It's what happens when you hang around with Batman too much, you loose your social skills."

Con smiled at that. He always smiled at my witty remarks about Batman. He hand't still heard any of the new ones.

"Look," I said, more relaxed finally. "I know how hard it is to wait until you feel it's the right time, and then, when you feel it... fearing it is not, because you are so eager it is... But stalking your friends is not going to make things easier" Con still looked ashamed. "Neither is punching them on the face. Come on, man! It's a joke. "

"It's not funny."

"It is, but my wit is beyond your reach" I took him by the arm, leading him to the kitchen. "Come on, SB, we both can use a soda and I can use some ice. And then perhaps you can tell me what's this thing bothering you, ok?"

Kon followed reluctantly, but followed nontheless. Wich was a relief, dragging a supe was not an easy task.

In the kitchen, as I said, we each picked a soda and I picked a bag of frozen beans, wich I pressed against my left side of the face.

"Does it hurt?" Asked Kon.

"Of course, it hurts."

"I don't know what to say..."

"Try: I'm sorry for nearly breaking your Jaw, Tim, dude." I said, dryly.

"But... of course I'm sorry!" Kon exploded, his cheecks redder than the S on his t-shirt.

So I had to soften myself. You cannot make your best friend fell ashamed for too long... during the first hour. The day after? New rules, totally. But I had tortured him enough for one single night.

"I know, I know" I said, with a smile. "Just teasing. So," I added, while I left the not-so-frozen-now bag of beans on the counter. "... you've been hanging around three hours? Without waking me up?" I lost my smile then, realizing all of a sudden, while I saw him pretend to be drinking just to avoid my gaze. "You were not planning in waking any of us up, right? You weren't even waiting for any of us to wake up on our own."

"I hate when you play the detective with me." He said, not admiting, not denying...

"Sorry, it's kind of subconscious." Well, he had a point, hadn't he?

"I guess it's cool to be you, isn't it?"

"No, it's not and you know it" I tried to cout to ten, but, hell! I didn't even arrived at three. "You are the one that has been acting like a moron tonight, not me, ok? So don't get angry just because I happen to be more inteligent than you."

"Oh, That's it! Superboy is just a dumb bulk" Con left the can in the sink so furiosly he made a hole. "If that is what you think, why you let other people see you, Boy Wonder, with me, Boy Dumber? They'll think we are friends."

One... Two... Three...

I drank a sip from my can.

Four... five... six...

I took off the mask and passed a hand through my face.

Seven... eight... nine...

I finally look at Conner.

Ten.

"I never... never... never thought you are dumb, ok? It was just..." Count to ten again,Tim, you are lossing it. I sighed. "It's four a.m., you are stalking us in our sleep and all I wanted was to jump a little in the gym while I waited for the morning to came, so... either I'm still dreaming... or you are really troubled and that's why you are shouting at me in the Titans kitchen at fucking four a.m." I finally craked a smile. "Or you are Match again, of course."

Con sighed too, looking at the sink and then, looking at me. I realized he was also counting to ten... or something very similar at least, and I really had to restrain myself from laughing.

"It's like you said some minutes ago. I miss you, guys, and... well, I miss that "saving the world once in a while" thing too... but..."

"You are afraid of screwing it up. A reasonable fear."

"Have I mentioned I also hate when you finish my sentences?"

Problem was I had already deducted all of it, but, as he ahd just pointed out, it was kind of unpolite to tell him: "Hey, go straight to the point, I already know this". So I just mutered a "sorry" and waited for him to finish his terribly long sentences.

"Ok, just don't do it again." Conner sat at the counter, looking for words. "It's that Raven came to visit..."

"She did?" Well, that, at least, was unexpected.

"Yeah. To tell me I have a soul."

"I told you you had a soul" I said it without even realizing that I was thinking aloud. Not very smart on my behalf, uh?

"Well, yes... but you don't count. You are my friend."

"Of course. Don't let a heartfelt coment from me distract you from your grief. Better, let Raven and her creepy powers reasure you of your humanity."

"What's the matter with you?"

"Me? I'm not the one that is afraid of using the fine excuse Raven has placed in front of him. Ok, you have a soul. You already had one, if you ask me. You will always have. So? What's the difference if the thing you cannot face is the fact that half your DNA is Luthor's?"

Conner was over me so quickly that I actually gasped. One moment he was seated and the next he was pinning me against the wall.

"Yes, half my DNA is Luthor's. Yes, it scares the shit out of me. Yes, it's what is restraining me from coming back. Do you know why, oh, infinetely wise one?"

Luckily I was used to face really creepy villians, so I could hide my fear quite reasonably.

"Because you are afraid of hurting us" It was not a question.

"No, Bird Boy, because I already did." He let me go and turned, giving me his back. "I hurt you and Cassie really badly. I'm not only afraid of hurting you...I'm afraid of facing you."

"By us you mean Cassie, don't you?"

He half turned and his blue eyes were scanning me, probably trying to guess my mood. I was trying to guess it too. I still felt mad at him, but didn't know exactly why. He probably still felt mad at me, because I was being a total jerk.

"Ok, so yes, that's the matter with me" He admited with a grunt, changing subject. "My legacy petrifies me. And you?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. It's not very normal behavior to go to the gym to wait for the sun to rise."

He was learning. The damned clone was learning use his brains too.

"Now who's playing detective?" Con frowned, wich meant I had made it again. I sighed. "Look, Con, I dont' really want to fight you."

"Neither I, but you are not making it easy."

"I know."

"Then?"

I was going to answer -even if I still didn't know what-, when the alarm rose.

"Damn!" I said, picking the mask and putting it on. "Titans Alert! Let's go."

I made a movement, but Con stood still. Then I remembered.

"You were not waiting for any of us to wake. You feel you are not ready."

That was it. That was why I was mad at him. Because he was going to leave us again.

"Don't look at me that way, Tim. You, who respected Cissie's decision in so a grown up fashion... Don't you dare look at me that way."

Ok, I wouldn't.

So I averted my gaze.

"Do as you please, Conner Kent. But if you are not going to help, then go home. The Titan Tower is not place for a civilian."