"You ever wondered what it would be like right on top of this very counter?" His words were unheard; I was lost in my own little world. I know he was just saying that to get my attention, though I would be happy to oblige anyway. I sigh. I should be paying attention to other matters, mainly him----but it was so hard when I was being blinded by some very obvious factors, especially if those factors were staring me hard in the face and basically screaming out loud to be heard. The only thing I could think of to describe this undeniable thing was the phrase 'so loud I could hear it comin' down the street.'

Wait, I'm sorry, you probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about, or who I am for that matter. Well, my name is Chiba Tsukino Usagi and I am referring to my husband's god forsaken ugly bright lime green blazer.

It's funny how you go into a marriage starting off with a big fat lie; you know what I'm talking about. The one where you internally agree that when you marry your soul mate that you are taking them just as they are, weird habits and all. I regret that before the wedding that I didn't force him to sign a contract saying he would get rid of the ugly thing, but I digress. Funny thing is, I wouldn't care if my Mamo-chan suddenly came and told me he was a bank robber, or even that he was really a Nega-verse spy. Heck, my only comment would be, 'as long as you don't take that ugly green jacket with you'!

But in any matter, here I was, sharing a nice hot fudge sundae with chocolate syrup in Motoki-sans's parlor, when as usual my eyes focused on plans to get rid of the horrid beast that looked like it belonged to 'Swamp Thing'. Of course, like I said, I wasn't paying attention, and was caught off guard when Mamo-chan gripped my hand and exclaimed.

"Usa!" When I focused on what I was doing, I realized that I had unknowingly been feeding his jacket the ice cream sundae instead of my beloved Mamo-chan, whip cream, cherries, and nuts were now dripping down the collar. "Jeez, now I'll have to take it to the cleaners!" I really wasn't listening any more, more like, plotting. It would be the first time in a couple of months that my Mamo-chan and his vile creature like clothing would be separated.

It was now, or never.

"Why don't you let me take it for you sweetheart." I smile sweetly, putting on years of experienced charm.

"Oh no, you'll use this as an excuse to get rid of my jacket----you think I'm stupid?" Drat! That's the bad thing about being married; your old tricks don't fly by any more. I remember when I tried to use holding back sex as a way to get him to get rid of the disgusting thing; of course, I failed to remember how sexy and very irresistible my Mamo-chan is. Before I tell you how that ended, let me just say that my muffin is very stubborn about getting rid of the ghastly covering. To prove that my little ploy wouldn't work, can you believe that this man paraded around our humble abode naked for two days before I finally just gave in a jumped him? But you need to understand my predicament. I mean, can you imagine; you're sitting at home, minding your own business, dinner set and ready at the table, waiting for your beloved to come home. When he does, like normal, he greets you with a long passionate kiss on the lips, like normal, he removes his coat, and like normal, he removes his shoes. But that's the thing, that's where most normal people stop. But nooo----my sexy little Mamo-chan removes his shirt, pants, and boxers, right at the door! I just stood there shocked when he did it the first time. And can you believe he had the nerve to go and sit at the dinner table like nothing was wrong? Unbelievable. But like I said, in the end, I jumped him. When I say jumped him, I mean 'jumped' him. Sigh. That was our first time on the kitchen counter...stove...kitchen sink...table----What! I told you I jumped him! And don't look at me with those admonishing eyes; I'm married!

In any matter, I'll just have to do this the hard way. Who's going to miss one insignificant Dry Cleaners anyway? Don't worry; when I become queen, I'll make sure to pay whomever back for the damages. Speaking of queen, sometimes I wonder if this whole green jacket thing was some evil plot of Beryl to make my life miserable and have the last words even in death. If so, I'll bet she's laughin' her ass off. Wonder if the star locket's music will cure this one? Hmmm...

"Usagi." A stern voice interrupts my thoughts. Oops. Did I forget that I was still sitting here with my beloved?

"Yeah baby?"

"You've got that look on your face."

"What look?" Innocence is a killer.

"That same look you had before we went for boat ride in the park and before you attempted to loose my jacket in the lake." He replied knowingly. Must I curse again? Damn that man! Damn him I say! Must he know me so well?

"Let's go home Mamo-chan." I replied alluringly, ignoring his comment. That was one really good thing about married life; all you had to do was promise sex and you could get your husband to forget about whatever he had just been talking about. Not that I didn't want to; I'm no fool. Like I said before, my baby is a very sexy man no doubt, and plus, we were still in the honeymoon stage where everything was still so new and anything was probable excuse to go home. Heck, we barely went anywhere without coming back in an hour to our bedroom. So like clockwork, he replied.

"Check please!"

I lay awake that night, knowing that my husband has successfully tired himself out worth fifty good night sleeps. Not that I wasn't tired myself, but I was so adamant about my goal this time, that I couldn't allow myself to rest.

That was another thing, this hadn't been the first time that I had sabotaged Mamo-chan's vile monstrosity either intentionally, or non-intentionally. Each time it happened, which was about every couple of months, my muffin would take it to the dry cleaners. That night, the sex was always the best. Obviously, my very stubborn and sexy boy toy was trying to tire me out to the point in which just thinking about going down to the dry cleaners to pick up and destroy his jacket would make me tired. Let's just say it worked every time...but there was something about this night...

I quietly slip out of the bed, making sure not stir to him and not to leave before appreciating Mamo-chan's body of course, and walk into the hallway, closing the door behind me. I sigh audibly as I pull something out of thin air, my disguise pen. Gosh, I'm tired...when that man sets himself a goal, he definitely sets himself a goal...but I guess he wasn't planning on my determination being so great this time...but I can barely lift the pen in the air.

"Disguise pen." I whisper jadedly to it as I hold it up. "Dress me up in leather like Tom Cruise from Mission Impossible." Within seconds a warm glow fills me, the glare lighting up the room before fading away once more. I smile inwardly as I look at my getup. Black tight leather pants with form fitting long sleeve black leather top to match. My hair is now short and kept in place by a black bandana. "Let Operation Destroy That Ugly Jacket, commence!" I crack my leather-clad knuckles and smile wickedly as I pick up my communicator.

"Orange bird are you there? Orange bird?"

"Check Green Hater." The sound of Minako's voice filtered through.

"Okay, meet at the knowledge tower of terror check point. Copy that Orange bird?"

"Knowledge terror?"

"For crimes sake Minako, the school!"

"Okay, let's go over this one more time." I began as I paced back and forth.

"What is our goal?"

"Destroy Mamoru-san's Swamp Thing Jacket!" Minako brought her hand to her forehead in salute.

"And how do we plan on doing this?"

"By breaking into the----eh…um." I slapped my hand to my forehead.

"By blowing up the cleaners baka!" I exclaim.

"Yes sir-eh…ma'am." Sigh.

"Okay…let's get to it, we have 6 hours before the Master awakens and 5 hours, 35 minutes, and----15 seconds before the manager comes to prepare the store." She began. "Now, there's a security guard that is paid to check the place at exactly 4:05…be on your guard----oh, and there is a police car that circles the area exactly every 33 minutes and 22 seconds…okay, synchronize watches…" I waited for Minako to hold up her watch. "Now."

"May O. D. T. U. J. begin."