I actually finished another one! To whoever said I should make this a lemon, I'm afraid that would spoil the fun I have in teasing the living hell out of my readers. Besides, I'm sure everyone has enough imagination to fill in the gaps with their own perverse scenarios (Naruto tied up and Hinata standing a few feet away with a whip in hand…what?) I decided to post this now because I'll forget later. It's already that time of the semester when I get hit with exams and papers, so I won't be able to update like I want (I'm already slacking off in class for the sake of this and another fic I haven't bothered to post yet).

Sigh. If it weren't for the fact that I love this fic, I would so make you wait until I get more reviews. Fortunately my philosophy on writing is that the only person you have to please is yourself. Unless of course you want to get paid, in which case I suggest you sell out to the highest bidder.

Read and review…If you want me to update despite the shit load of work I have then please review.

Moses Never Had It So Good

It was your normal day in Konoha when Sasuke, Salura, and Shino (along with his smoking hot girlfriend) returned to the village. The birds were chirping, children were playing, Shikamaru was sitting on his ass shooting the breeze, and all seemed right with the world. The party of four breathed a sigh of relief at making it back in one piece and without too much trouble. They were also somewhat glad that Naruto had decided to stay in the village to see what he could pick up in the next day or two. Shino suspected it had something to do with not wanting to be near his teammates after that incident, but he let it go. Now that he had someone of his own, the Aburame felt it was time for everyone else to deal with their own shit.

Even though they had only been gone for a couple of days, it had felt like an eternity. As a result, they felt they needed to take this time to get reacquainted with the world around them.

Shino felt that he was obligated to introduce Mika to everyone important to him. He started by taking her to see the two members of his team still in Konoha. Mika was happy to get the chance to meet them, even if Kurenai and Kiba had been frozen with shock upon seeing her and hearing the word 'girlfriend'. Akamaru was so surprised that he pissed on top of Kiba's head. What a shame that the poor dog-user had his mouth open at the time.

The next stop was a visit home. Shino expected his father to be in and wanted to speak with him alone before introducing Mika.

"…" (Father. Many things have happened these past few days and I…have become a man.)

"…" (You did what! Inconceivable! You know that you are not to seek out women other than those we arrange for you and that is only after you come of age. You are still but a child.)

"…" (She is more than I could ever ask of you, father. Please consider my thoughts on the subject.)

"…" (Don't be ridiculous. You will send her away immediately and that is final.)

"Shino-baby," said a cheerful but concerned voice. Mika had been waiting outside but was worried about what was going on. "Is everything all right? I hear yelling…sort of."

The next thing they knew, Mika had walked into the room, short skirt and a tight t-shirt. Shino's father looked stunned.

…

…

…

…

"…" (Daughter-in-law! How nice to see you!)

Shino groaned at his father's complete one-eighty on the issue, but at least now he had his approval.

Sasuke and Sakura were having a bit more problems trying to understand where they stood with each other. It could not be helped really. When Sasuke left he had utterly crushed Sakura emotionally and she was not about to leave herself vulnerable to let it happen again. Sasuke, on the other hand, was struggling with himself as to how he should approach the situation. He was not in a position to force anything on the pink haired kunoichi with the Fifth's jutsu still in place and he had a feeling that doing so would only result in Sakura further resenting him. The voice in his head may have provided ample support as far as 'going for it' went, but when it came to a suitable tactic to get what he wanted, his mojo was useless.

Instead they decided to practice what they had learned in Antonio's village, Sakura providing a beat and Sasuke just letting words spill out of him. Sasuke even took the opportunity to practice what he learned from watching everyone on stage at the concert. Sakura was amazed that he seemed to be on the same level as the best of them, but how could she expect anything less when he had been using his sharingan the entire time. Music was a good way to kill time and an even better way to clear their heads of all the thoughts that had been bothering them.

The next two days went by fairly quickly and the three members of the band awaited Hinata and Naruto's return as patiently as one would expect of them. They whined and argued, wondering what the hell was taking them so long. Sakura decided to wait for Naruto at the Ichiraku Ramen stand since she figured that would be the first place her idiot teammate stopped by. Sasuke reluctantly agreed to go, feeling slightly hungry as well.

Shino decided he would have a little fun with Mika while they waited.

Walking En Route to Konoha…

Naruto was super excited now that he was heading back to Konoha. He had learned a lot from Yuichi, Yuko and Mitsu (at least when they weren't preoccupied with 'other' things). On top of that, he was going home with a full wallet since people would stop by to listen to him play on the streets. The villagers there were extremely generous, but Naruto had other things he needed to do and a certain someone he wanted to see.

That bastard Sasuke, he thought to himself. He knew that his friends had meant well and that it was an accident, but some things were hard to forgive. That memory was going to haunt him for the rest of his life and seeing Hinata was going to be difficult, fearing Sasuke might once again appear in front of him in a flash of smoke. If Naruto was uncertain about making any moves before, this would only make it worse.

Naruto now carried three guitars with him. The first was the one the kyubi had given him. Naruto had learned to play on that guitar so it would be difficult to just set it aside for any other, even if it did come from a bastard demon. The second, still in the case it had come with, was that of the Fourth Hokage. Naruto was afraid touching it might forever ruin it, so he was hesitant to open it even for a quick glance at his prize. At the very least it was his and that was enough for now. The third one was…a precaution.

"Well, well," came a voice from nowhere. Two figures dropped down from above and landed in front of Naruto. Naruto groaned when he realized that they were two Akatsuki members he had yet to meet. "I see the little novice got his hands on the prize after all."

The one who spoke was a fairly average looking person as far as akatsuki members went. He had what appeared to be a sword or axe that resembled a sequence of sharp fangs. The other was not so normal. His eyes were pitch black and like his jounin instructor, he covered the lower half of his face as if to hide some hideous deformity…or protect his victims from catching a cold before he killed them. He didn't really know.

"What do you two want," Naruto demanded. "I thought granny Tsunade already dealt with you. If you guys want me, then wait until the damn battle. I don't have time to deal with you."

"Who said we were after you," the one with pitch black eyes spoke. "We want that guitar on your back. I can get a pretty penny if I sell that to some rich sleaze ball in another country."

"Which one, exactly?" Naruto asked sarcastically. "I'm carrying three home with me."

"Don't be a smart ass," the normal looking shinobi snarled. "God hates smart asses."

An ominous bolt of lightning struck fairly close to the religious Akatsuki member, as if God was saying, "Mind your own business, jack ass!" The man paid no mind. It happened quite often as you could imagine.

"We want the guitar the Fourth Hokage used to own," spoke Black Eyes. "Hand it over and we won't hurt you."

Naruto thought to himself a moment. "Will you really let me leave in one piece if I give it to you?"

"Well, we could rough you up if that's what you want."

"Point taken." Naruto opened one of the cases to make sure he was grabbing the right one and handed it to the devout shinobi. "There, take it. I wouldn't know what to do with it anyways. Now if you'll excuse me."

Naruto was gone in a flash, off in Konoha's general direction. The Akatsuki members blinked as if they could not believe how easy that had been. They looked at the guitar and for the most part it looked exactly like their contractor had said it would. White guitar with a leaf emblem on the body. However, Black Eyes noticed something that definitely should not have been there.

"Hey," he said to his partner, who at the moment was thanking the Lord for allowing them to succeed in their mission. "Is the back of the guitar supposed to have tons of explosive tags attached to it?"

"No, why?" the other asked, taking a look for himself. His eyes went wide at what he saw. "Oh Sh-"

SHOOM!

Naruto laughed his ass off as he saw the mushroom cloud rise in the distance. Who knew Akatsuki members could be so naïve? He was so busy laughing as he jumped from tree to tree that he missed his target branch and went tumbling into a puddle of mud. I guess you can't avoid Karma even if your victims are lowlife criminals.

Naruto got up, but did not get the chance to wipe himself off. A large ball of fire was heading in his direction. He tried to dodge it, but the blaze caught the material of both guitar cases. With lightning fast speed, he rescued his instruments from incineration and made a run for it. The Akatsuki members were in hot pursuit, throwing every long distance jutsu they had in there arsenal to no avail. Normally, it would have been a piece of cake for them to overcome the young ninja in a foot race, but they were pretty badly singed and running hurt.

Naruto was getting hammered by low hanging branches and falling leaves. Still he ignored it and kept running. Konoha would soon be in sight and he knew that the two wouldn't dare approach the village and risk facing the wrath of their leader. He was right. The attacks ceased, but Naruto was not about to risk anything. Even after he caught sight of Kotetsu and Izumo, the two chuunin that had been part of the chuunin exam, he kept on running.

The two chuunin standing guard at the entrance only saw a flash and felt a gust of wind blow by. Kotetsu and Izumo just looked at each other.

"Hey Kotetsu," the chuunin with the bang covering one eye said to the one with the perpetually bandaged nose. "I think I just found religion."

Ichiraku Ramen Stand…

Sasuke and Sakura were eating contently. Neither knew why they had been in such a rush to have Naruto back. Life was peaceful if only slightly boring. Ramen never tasted so sweet. Ayami and her father simply marveled at how in sync the two were. They dipped their chopstick into their bowls at the same time, slurped their ramen in a similar fashion to one another, and even swallowed and sighed happily at the exact same moment.

Just then a figure burst through the curtain acting as the door to the ramen stand. There stood a short figure that seemed to have long, dirty grey hair and an equally unruly beard. In his arms he majestically held two guitars, as if in mock representation of good and evil cradled within human hands. The sunlight shining on the figure in the dimly lit building also added greatly to the holy effect. It was enough to send the old man on his knees in prayer and Ayame singing psalms. Sasuke and Sakura were stunned at the sight of their teammate. What exactly had he been doing these past few days?

Ayame saw that the out of breath person was moving his lips but the words refused to come out. The other customers were as stunned by the sight and began gossiping among themselves.

"Silence," the young woman yelled. "The prophet speaks!"

"Ra…Ra…" he tried to say. "Ramen!"

Sakura fell out of her chair and Sasuke went over and punched the blond in the gut.

The Uchiha Compound…

Naruto awoke feeling a pain in his stomach. Whether it was hunger or if someone had just hit him really, really hard, Naruto couldn't tell. What he did know was that this was not his house and this robe he was wearing, with the odd fan design, was definitely not his.

Seeing Sasuke walk through the door to the room only made things worse.

"Sasuke you bastard!" he jumped out of the bed and pointed an accusing finger. "Not only did you steal my fist and third kiss, but now you're trying to rape me too!"

Sasuke was about to kill his rival when another person entered the room shortly after him. It was Sakura and she was cracking her knuckles. Naruto gulped, knowing what was about to happen to him.

"NA-RU-TO," she growled. She then began to pound away at the poor boy, listing every complaint she had against her teammate. "What the hell is wrong with you! Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting for you to get your ass back here? On top of that you scared half the village Catholic or Jewish! Are you proud of yourself? I hope so because I'm going to be sending you to your god! And what the hell are you thinking? If Sasuke hasn't raped me by now why the hell would he rape you!"

Everyone in the room was stunned silent by that last one. Sasuke was blushing so fiercely that it looked like blood would explode from his ears and nose. Shino, who had been the one to undress Naruto using his insects (they would be holding a grudge for a long time), was now gaping in awe at the revelation.

Despite his injury, Naruto took it as his chance to get a little revenge for the hell she had put him through. "What's this, Sakura? Sasuke not giving you the love and attention you need? Maybe if you weren't so violent, he'd have an easier time getting into your pants. Or maybe," he said with a sly grin, "he really is into me."

That was all Sakura was willing to take. She beat him unconscious and stormed out of the room, dragging Sasuke along with her. Sasuke only hoped that she wasn't about to kill him because of Naruto's words. He at least wanted the chance to rip Naruto's spine out before he died.

Shino was now left alone with Naruto in the remnants of the Uchiha estate. He knew it was downright immoral to be thinking what he was thinking at the moment but he couldn't help himself. He turned to Naruto's near dead body.

"…" (I'm going to get Mika to 'show her around' this place. I'll make sure to bring Tsunade-sama to heal you when we're done.)

Near a Familiar Bench…

Sakura was furious. She knew full well that Naruto had only been trying to get back at her for what had happened to him after the competition, but what he had said really hurt. A part of her really did want Sasuke in the worst kind of way and the fact that Naruto had gone farther with him than she had really bothered her. She sat down, not realizing where she was or what significance the place had for the two of them. Sasuke was not as absentminded.

"This brings back memories," he said thinking back to the day he left the village. "I'm not sure why you'd want to visit a place like this though, seeing as how upset you already are."

Only then did Sakura realize where she was. The very bench she sat on was the same one Sasuke had placed her after knocking her unconscious. The same place she had given him everything of hers and he had flatly rejected her. Why she would wander into a place like this was impossible to determine. However, she immediately wanted to leave.

Sasuke took a seat next to her, which caused her to stiffen. Then he let out a low chuckle which slightly irritated her.

"What's so funny?" she demanded. "I don't exactly remember having any fond memories of this place. You of all people should know that."

He spoke softly as he stared at the bright afternoon sky, "This place is very special to me. It was here I finally made my decision to live my life by the choices I made and not what others decided for me. It was here that life for me really began."

He looked at Sakura and smiled ever so discreetly.

"And it was here that a certain someone made me feel that I was wanted for the first time since I lost my family. You may not believe me but I was happy to hear you say you loved me, even if I didn't really believe it. Leaving was something I had to do, whether you think so or not. You don't know what it's like to lose something so precious and see the one goal you have in life slip further and further away."

"Damn you, Sasuke." Sakura was crying. She'd been crying for a while but she had done so quietly. She no longer showed any restraint. "How do you think I felt when the one person I hoped never to lose just decided that his friends, his teammates, and I weren't important enough for him to stay? How was I supposed to feel when you said I was annoying after I opened my heart to you? I may not know what its like to have my family killed by someone as close as a brother, but don't you dare say I don't understand what it's like to lose something important to me."

Sasuke knew he had walked right into that and actually felt he deserved every word. He knew how she would feel when she realized he was gone but he had left anyways. Killing Itachi at the time had been more important. It still was to some extent, but now he found himself wanting to know what could have been. He took the crying girl and brought her towards him, resting her head against his chest and placing his chin delicately on top of her.

"I'm here now, for however long that may be, and I promise to come back when I take care of my brother. Until then I have no right enjoying a carefree existence. How would I be able to face my clan?" The sobbing became sniffling, which turned into nothing more than heavy breathing. He gently took her chin between his thumb and index finger and brought her face to his so that he would be able to see her beautiful irritated greenish red eyes. "You're not as annoying as I remember. You might be bit violent and still a little immature, but you're definitely not annoying."

In the blink of an eye, Sakura had brought her lips to his in the first kiss (first kiss with a woman in Sasuke's case) either had experienced. Sasuke enjoyed how soft her lips were against his and how warm her body was as she pressed it against him. The sensation of her womanly figure rubbing itself against him was enough to make him lose it.

Everything was exactly how Sakura had hoped it would have been when she had tried to stop Sasuke from leaving. Everything except that it was still daytime and mother's walking their daughters were starting to stare. They didn't care. Sakura was feeling a similar torrent of emotion. Sakura could no longer restrain herself. Whatever the reason, be it hormones, the remnants of a childhood crush, or something more, she had to have him.

"Sasuke," she gasped, the color in her cheeks reddening in an odd fashion. "Do you…you know…want to…you know." She could not bring herself to say more than that. Fortunately, Sasuke caught all the signs and knew exactly what she was getting at.

"Yes," he said quickly. A voice inside him was screaming joyously. Finally!

They got up to leave, Sasuke making the bold move of sweeping her off her feet and carrying her like a bride on her wedding night. The truth was he thought carrying her would be the fastest way to go and do what they wanted to do. Their journey was cut short by a masked woman with long purple hair.

"Haruno Sakura," said the woman. "Godaime-sama requests your assistance at the hospital. A building collapsed on top of more than fifty villagers. Every available Medic is requested."

"You've got to be kidding!" Sakura and her inner-self shouted in unison, producing a very frightening sound, even for the ANBU woman. "The day I surpass that woman's strength I'm going to give her a piece of my mind."

Sasuke wanted to cry. Someone upstairs must really hate him. Had he done something terrible in another lifetime or were the sins he committed in this life enough to warrant eternity as a virgin. "Guess it can't be helped," he sighed, "Come on. I'll carry you to the hospital."

Back at the Uchiha Pad…

Shino was a little disappointed that Maki was too busy with a few of the older Aburame women. Well, the part of Shino that desperately wanted to leave his mark in the Uchiha estate in the worst kind of way felt disappointed. The rest of him was glad that his future wife was enjoying his family. No girl he had ever met seemed as interested as she was in the family keepsakes. Most girls ran screaming when they heard that he had a large colony of insects living inside his body. Mika was turned on by it.

Since he could not do what he originally set out to do, he went to the Fifth's office only to discover that every available medic was being redirected to the hospital to handle a village emergency.

Oh well. Naruto would just have to deal with it.

Shino walked into the room to see if he was conscious but the room was empty. Shino knew that the loud ninja had an incredibly fast healing ability, but to be walking around after how the way he had been injured seemed outrageous.

He heard a crashing sound coming from the bathroom. As much as he hated the idea of walking in on someone sitting on the can, that had been an ominous crash. He sent a couple of his minions to survey the damage. They relayed to him that Naruto was fine and had just slipped on a bar of soap.

"…" (This is bullshit. I'm just going to wait for Hinata by the entrance. Hey Naruto! Hurry up if you want to go.)

"Wait, you bastard!" came a shout from behind the door. "At least let me pull up my pants first."

The Same Entrance Where Izumo Found Religion…

Shino and Naruto had decided to relieve the two chuunins that had been guarding the gate prior to their arrival. Giving them a break seemed like a good idea. One of them seemed delusional and was wearing a funny cap and fake beard and sideburns. He was going on and on about prophets and finding God. Shino suspected it had something to do with Tsunade-sama making then do paperwork as well as keeping an eye out for potential intruders.

Poor bastards.

Naruto had brought the guitar the kyubi had given him. He also had with him his prize from the guitar contest, cleaned and resting peacefully in a newly purchased case. However, Naruto had no intention of taking it out of the case just yet. He just didn't want to leave it in that damn Uchiha's house.

The blond was a little nervous about Hinata's arrival. What would he say? They had already kissed once. Would she be offended if he just laid one on her? Probably so. Just because she might like him didn't mean he had the right to be too pushy. Whatever would happen should happen naturally.

"Hey Shino," he said sounding somewhat unsure of himself. "What's Hinata like? She always seems to be near me but I really don't know much about her."

Shino stared at the blond through his dark glasses then returned his gaze to the path his teammate would come by.

"…" (She's quite but kind, and never has a mean thing to say about anyone, even the ones who hurt her most. She's always watching you because she admires your determination. She works hard because she doesn't want to be a burden to her teammates or embarrass her proud clan members.)

Naruto simply scratched his head and laughed gingerly. "You didn't really tell me anything I didn't already know."

"…" (Then you know pretty much everything I do. If you want details, you'd be better off asking her yourself.) Seeing the look of disappointment on Naruto's face he added, "…" (I'll tell you this. She'd be extremely happy to know how interested you are. Kiba and I still don't quite get it.)

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" the blond shouted. He relaxed a little and returned his attention back to the path. "Thank you."

They were silent for a good while.

"…" (Did I really seem like I had a stick up my ass before I met Mika?)

"Not as big as the one up Sasuke's ass."

"…" (Aint that the truth.)

They were getting bored waiting for the white eyed girl to arrive, but neither wanted for her to feel unwelcomed when she arrived. Naruto took out his guitar and started messing with it. He practiced a few riffs he had picked up during the past few days. He didn't feel like putting in any real effort but Shino was still impressed. It made him want to get his bass and jam as well, but his house was on the other end of the village.

There was a whistling sound from above them as Naruto finished his current riff. "Wow Naruto-kun," called a sweet familiar voice. "You've really improved."

The two shinobi looked up and were amazed to see a smiling Hinata sitting above them on the wall. Neither was sure what had surprised them more: her ability to sneak up on them or her bright confident attitude. Either way, both Shino and Naruto were glad to see that she seemed happy. The girl, wearing jeans and a light jacket over a black halterneck bikini top, then stood on top of the wall and cast a mischievous grin towards the blond. Naruto just stood their enjoying the view like a drooling idiot until he realized what she was about to do.

She wouldn't dare, the boys on the ground thought.

They realized she meant business when she came careening down in Naruto's direction, scaring them both shitless. Naruto panicked momentarily and then finally opened his arms to catch the girl. She was light as a father in his arms and the feel of her thin arms around his neck was nice. Naruto spun on the heel of his foot so as not to fall backwards from the additional weight, light as she was. The girl's playful giggle was more than enough for Naruto to forgive her frightening stunt.

"I missed you," she whispered in his ear, her cheek brushing lightly against his. "Na-ru-to-kun."

The usually talkative ninja found himself flustered looking for the words he wanted to say. "I-I," he stammered. "I missed you too, Hinata-chan."

While he was contemplating whether or not he should kiss her, the usually shy girl made the decision for him. Rubbing her nose ever so slightly against his, she placed her lips against his. Then, using her tongue, she teased his mouth open and slid it inside his. Naruto was taken aback at first but was not about to chicken out. That would go against his nindo, which he knew Hinata greatly admired about him. He readily accepted her tongue and used his own to further enjoy the experience.

Please don't be Sasuke, he thought. Please don't be Sasuke, please don't be Sasuke, please don't be Sasuke, please don't be…

Shino was thoroughly repulsed. It was one thing to do it; it was quite another matter to stand there and watch. He would have to apologize to Sasuke later, as much as it pained him. He caught sight of someone walking in their direction from inside the village. The woman began waving at him.

"Shino-kun!" Mika shouted. "The women went back to their husbands. Come play with me."

This was enough to catch Hinata's attention. She turned in the direction of the feminine voice, with Naruto nipping gently at her lower lip.

"Who's that?"

"You mean Mika-chan?" Naruto said. "She's Shino's new girlfriend."

"Really? Can we go say hi before they leave?"

"Of course," Naruto said with a sly look on his face. "But you owe me later."

As Naruto was led away by Hinata holding tightly onto his hand, he quickly grabbed the two guitars and followed. Shino was more than willing to introduce them, but was a little bothered that his fun would be delayed. Hinata and Mika hit it off instantly. The Hyuga was really happy for the two and Mika wished her the best of luck in training the clueless boy next to her. Naruto asked what was so funny, but Hinata just silenced him with a quick kiss.

Much to Shino's relief, their introductory chitchat did not last long and the two were off to do all sorts of things while the night was young. Hinata then turned to Naruto with an innocent smile on her face. Naruto was glad that although she had changed, the best qualities were still there. That smile was worth more than all of Fire Country in Naruto's mind.

"Naruto," she said. "I have a favor to ask you."

Konoha Hospital…

"Haruno-san," came the mechanical voice of one of the senior medic-nins. "I have two more coming in from the intensive care unit and I just received word that a chuunin was brutally beaten for going around forcing religion onto the masses. His ETA is approximately ten minutes. Until then, deal with the ICU patients."

Sakura was on the ball. She loved the adrenaline rush she received whenever she was forced to deal with multiple patients. At that moment she felt prepared to deal with each and every victim that walked through the hospital doors. Sasuke, however, felt dizzy. He had a new found respect for medic-nins everywhere and swore to thank the next one putting his spilled out guts back in place. Though if he had to smell one more burn victim he was going to hurl. Gaton jutsus would never be quite the same for the Uchiha.

Just his luck that the two ICU victims had both suffered first degree burns throughout their entire body. The stench was horrendous and Sasuke reacted the only way his body knew how.

"I need a bucket and mop!" Sakura screamed at the top of her lungs, seeing the mess. "STAT!"

Just Outside Hinata's Room…

Hyuga Neji had just received word that his timid cousin was back from her trip. His uncle had been furious that the hokage had assigned his daughter the task of joining Naruto's frivolous band without his consent. Neji had heard that the reason for the clan leader's dislike of his daughter's interest in rock was that he felt it would distract her from training. Despite his rough and intimidating appearance, the old man was actually quite worried that one of these days Hinata was going to go out on a mission and come back seriously injured or worse. It was an odd way of caring for the one you loved, but then Neji had never seen the main branch of the family as a normal bunch.

Why he had to be the one to check up on her was what really bothered him.

Hoping to make this as quick and painless as possible for himself, he activated his byakugan and peeked inside. There was no one. Neji began to leave, assuming that she had yet to make it back to the house, when he heard voices coming from inside. That's odd, he thought. There was no one in there a moment ago. He viewed inside the room again and saw the same thing. Absolutely nothing. He placed an ear against the door to listen in.

"It's so beautiful," he heard his cousin say. So she had made it back. If so, why couldn't his byakugan see her?

"I know, right?" said a voice that made Neji cringe. "I made sure to polish it before you arrived."

"Can I touch it?" Hinata asked. Neji was becoming concerned about what this sort of conversation was implying. He hoped to God she wasn't talking about touching 'that'.

"Of course. Just be gentle." Naruto you bastard. What are you doing to our Hinata?

"It feels big," she said. What the hell!

"Really? I thought it was about average. Maybe you're not holding it right. Here, let me help you." Neji was becoming nauseas. "Is that better?"

"Yes, thank you. It feels so good. I never thought I'd get a chance to hold this with my own hands. It's a dream come true." The genius branch member of the Hyuga family was on the verge of tears.

"If you want, I can teach you the right way to use it."

"Really!"

That was the last straw. Neji threw the door open and stepped into the room, prepared to witness the worst before he kicked Naruto's innocence-spoiling ass. "Naruto! What do you think you're doing with my cousin!"

The blond boy blinked in shock. "Showing her the guitar I won in a contest?" Once his blind rage calmed down and Neji took a look around, he saw that Naruto was telling the truth. The two of them were sitting on the bed, fully clothed, with a spectacular guitar in Hinata's possession.

"Oh," he said embarrassed. "My bad."

"Neji-niisan" Hinata said with a pout on her face. "If you were worried about me you should have just knocked."

"I'm sorry," he apologized yet again. "It's just that I heard voices inside and when I checked with my byakugan I couldn't see anything."

"Don't tell me-" Hinata exclaimed in an overly concerned tone. "Neji-niisan, could you be suffering from byakugan-blindness?"

The color drained from Neji's face as he realized that his cousin might be right. Byakugan blindness was worse than death for a Hyuga. "Please excuse me," he said hurriedly as he ran to the clan medic, who had also been called to deal with the influx of patients at the hospital.

Hinata walked over and closed the door, making sure to lock it. The tags Serius had given her worked like a charm. She promised to thank him the next time they saw each other. She turned back to Naruto with a playful grin. "So what did you think?"

"That was pretty sneaky of you," Naruto laughed. "Definitely the best prank I've seen in a long time."

"Why thank you," she said with a bow. "I had a really good role-model."

"The best," he said. He walked over to Hinata and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Hinata-chan, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"You've been acting like a completely new person since you came back to the village. You didn't change for my sake, did you?" There was no response from the girl. "I just wanted you to know that you didn't have to. You were perfect the way you were. It just took me a while to figure that out."

"That was how I felt at first," she said, holding his shirt tightly in her fists and bringing him closer to her. She placed her forehead in his chest. "I wanted for you to see me so bad, it hurt. But somewhere along the way I realized that I wanted to change for me and not so much for you. I didn't want to feel insecure and I was tired of always doubting myself. I wanted to be a strong person worthy of self-respect. Do you not like the new me?"

"It's not that," Naruto said scratching his head when he saw the look in her eyes. A look that was somewhere between being hurt and hopeful. "You will always be you no matter how much you decide to change. The important things stayed the same and that's what matters. You do seem happier."

"I am happier," she said. Naruto only caught a glimpse of the crafty smile on her face before she pushed him onto the bed. Naruto was too stunned to move as the girl slowly removed her jacket and unfastened the buttons on her pants, allowing them to slip off with ease. There she stood wearing nothing more than panties and what might as well have been a bra. These last two articles of clothing were also removed, slowly and seductively, until all she wore was a timid smile. Naruto gulped, knowing what was about to happen.

Hinata slowly crawled her way up the bed until she was face to face with Naruto. The shy look on her face was reminiscent of the old Hinata and Naruto could not help but find it cute. He caressed her cheek and Hinata leaned into the touch while she spoke.

"Naruto-kun," she said nervously. "This is for the last song you played during the contest. You made me so happy when I heard you playing your heart out that I cried and cried. I love you Naruto-kun. I have for a really long time now."

Naruto's eyes widened when he realized what she said. "You were there?"

"Of course," she said as a single tear fell onto the boy's face. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Serius' wife just wouldn't let me close enough for you to see me. She said it would interfere with her lessons."

The blond shinobi's eyes were beginning to water. "Knowing you heard that song means more to me than you could ever know." He leaned in and planted a tender kiss on the girl's lips, which she readily accepted. "I love you too Hinata-chan."

"I'm so glad," she said, wiping away the tears. She laughed timidly before adding. "So are we going to do this or not?"

"Without a doubt but," Naruto said as he grabbed the girl and flipped her onto her back so that he was positioned above her, "I think I might want to try it like this to start off with."

"Okay," the girl laughed. "But it might help if you take your clothes off."

The Uchiha Pad…

Sakura was very disappointed that she had been kicked out of the hospital. It wasn't her fault that her dimwitted ex-teammate couldn't stomach the smell of a little burnt flesh. Hell, it didn't make any sense. He burned people to a crisp on a daily basis for the Sound Village!

On top of that, she had to drag Sasuke's ass all the way back to his house because he was too weak to walk after throwing up so much. There goes her night of hot passionate love-making. He'd be lucky if she let him kiss her with that breath. She opened the door to his house and immediately dropped the boy in her arms when she saw what was in front of her.

"Shino!" she screamed. "What the hell do you think you and Mika-san are doing! We eat off of that!"

Deep in the Dark Recesses of Naruto's Mind…

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I, once an all powerful demon that struck fear into the hearts of villages all over this worthless country, am now reduced to voyeurism. The only action I can hope to see is threw the eyes of a clueless little worm who passed up two perfect specimens of his race for a single inexperienced, though quite attractive, girl. If it wasn't for her flexibility, this would be something to sleep through.

I take that back. This one's a screamer.

Spank her. That's right, just like that. Oh, she likes that doesn't she? Tell her what a bad girl she is.

Sigh. Where has my pride gone? The least that bastard shinobi could have done was lock up a succulent kitsune to keep me company. That brat better keep his word about teaching her the jutsu.

Now where did I put that lotion?

More Words From The Idiot Who Writes This Shit

To all the Sasusaku fans: I'm sorry if I got your hopes up only to shatter them in a million tiny pieces, but I promise Sasuke and Sakura will get down and busy soon (maybe the next chapter if you're nice). Angst is a key component of this pairing and anyone who says otherwise needs to put down the pipe. God willing there will be alcohol involved.

¡Viva la Drunken Fanfic!