Nothing to do with my first 'misleading couples fiction' with Rei and Mao. This is just an idea that I had stuck in my head.
Strong language is due to the anger the speaker feels, not because I can't control my cursing ;
Rated for safety and nothing else. I don't want people being like: "Ewww! tahts so nazty!11!11! kias not gay!" blah blah blah.
Shut up and respect your elders >(
Although, I didn't want to give away the real pairing in this, since I wanted to try and make it look like another MaoJulia, I really kind of have to so I don't accidentally snare people who have a problem with twincest in anime.
Oh yeah... a couple of religious references... it's not that bad... honest XD;
I hate him. I utterly despise him.
It's strange. His girlfriend is so similar to him, yet I love her with all of my heart. Shouldn't I then love him too?
No. I can't. I hate him. He has her while I sit alone and wait for her, counting the minutes until she comes back to our room, or dreading them as they tick by until she goes out with him again. Every time, no matter where he takes her- whether it is a simple walk or an expensive restaurant- she looks stunning, but then, she's always so, so beautiful.
He doesn't deserve her.
The media loves it of course. Kai and Julia. One handsome and one beautiful- both fiery in temper and stubborn in nature- a perfect couple in the media's hungry eyes. Both bladers; both strong in personality. A match made in Heaven. And yet the stories became more and more romanticised. He was of a rich family; she was a poor circus orphan. He's Orthodox, she's Catholic. A recent story particularly offended me- apparently, they have similar hairstyles as proof of dedication to their love. I forget the others, but I know that they became more and more ridiculous. The only thing I see when I pick up the paper is love. They are deeply in love. When will these lovebirds marry? When did their love begin?
How would they react, I wonder, if they were to discover that it was all a lie? How would they feel if they found out that Kai's casual hand around her waist was carefully choreographed? That the way she leans into him as they walk is an act?
How would they respond if they were to see that when they part ways after their romantic evening he goes back to his suite and fucks his team mate and she comes back here and makes love to me?
Turmoil. The media would tear us all to shreds. The churches would denounce us all and we would in their eyes, be going straight to Hell. Our lives would be over.
And yet…
And yet… we won't stop. Not until the inevitable happens and even then, we shall continue. In the eyes of others, our love is wrong. I ask; how can love be wrong?
It is. Everyone says it is. It's wrong for Kai to be in love with his male team mate, just as it is wrong for Julia and me to love as we do.
So Julia and Kai became the most famous sporting couple in the world. To protect us, though I believe it is more to protect themselves.
Maybe I'm just bitter. Maybe I'm just so unhappy that I can no longer see their sacrifice. They don't love each other. They barely get on. Not to mention they're not even slightly attracted to one another. After all, neither of them have what the other needs.
But despite all of this, I fell jealous. I see the way Kai puts his hand on her elbow and leans in to whisper in her ear. I know it's all just an act, but why can't that be me? What is so wrong with our love that they have to hide behind a façade of what is seen to be 'normal' and 'perfect'.
I often wonder if Rei feels the way I do. I know that it must hurt him to see the one he loves pretending to be something he's not. He must feel as worthless and as 'impure' as I do. And yet when I asked him he simply said; 'It has to be done. Until the world is a better place, we'll have to keep living a lie.'
I once had a crush on Rei. It was nothing like my love for Julia, but I suppose at the time, I didn't understand that. Besides, at least it was a little bit more normal to desire Rei than Julia.
I guess that was all the more reason to hate Kai. He had my crush and he had the one that I love. All because he's frightened of how the business world would react when they found out that the heir of Hiwatari Enterprises was a little queer boy.
I hate him more than anything though, because I'm terrified that Julia would one day love him more than me.
I'm jealous. I admit. I'm insane with jealousy. I cry when I read the papers and see her grinning face next to Kai's smirking one. What if she realises that she wants him and not me? What if they both decide to live their perfect life, rather than one of sin?
The day she stops loving me, I'll die.
It's late. She's home now. I just heard her come in. She's singing to herself, some soft Spanish folk song that she loves. Her song is drawing nearer and nearer and I know where she is heading.
To me.
I stay silent when she comes into the room, pretending to be asleep as I so often do when she gets home from one of her 'dates'.
"I know you're awake." Her soft voice punctures the darkness.
I sigh and sit up. "Have fun with Kai?" I couldn't help it; I could never keep the venom from my voice when I said his name.
She sighed. "It's never fun without you, you know that."
"No, I don't, Julia. Kai's a pretty fun guy from what I've heard." I hated it when I snapped at her. I seemed to be doing it more and more lately.
"Please, don't be jealous. You know that I love only you. I can barely stand Kai anyway." Gone were her usual stubbornness and her fire. She sounded tired. Tired and sad.
I love her. I love her so much. I love her too much. "You're better off with him then with me. You deserve a better life than this, Julia." I felt tears rise in my throat and I turned away from her, pulling the blanket up higher. I don't want her to see me like this. I don't want her to see me weak.
"I don't want another life. I love only you." She repeated quietly.
I curled up further into the blankets. "I'm so weak, Julia. You know that it's wrong. What we have is wrong. None of this should have happened." I had said it before. Perhaps this time she would agree and leave me for good. I'd die if she stopped loving me, but I would go to Hell gladly if I knew that she was happy.
And then I felt her put her arms around me, holding me like she had so many times before. "It's not wrong. Love is never wrong. I love you. More than anything on this Earth. We're not wrong. We can't be wrong."
I swallowed my tears and turned to face her. God, she's so beautiful. "I just get so jealous, I want to be the one taking you out, I want to be the one who's by your side, I want-" I stopped, fighting back my tears. I had always hated crying in front of her.
She looked tearful herself. I hate that I can do that to her. I'm the only one that can and it doesn't seem right. How could I have that kind of terrible power over someone so strong willed? "I know." She whispered. "I know you do. I want it to be you by my side too. But remember. It's just a façade. Like a mask Kai and I wear. We do it to protect the ones we love. I do it to protect you."
"But I don't need protecting, Julia!" I burst out.
She smiled and held me closer. "I know, but I've always looked after you. I can't seem to stop now." Her smile faded and she kissed me once, gently. "Know that I love you, Raul. I'd die if you stopped loving me."
"I won't. Not ever." I whispered. My throat was raw.
She smiled a fraction. "And neither will I. How could I ever stop loving my beautiful twin?"
I smiled back and kissed her.
Our love was forbidden. Kai was guilty of loving another man, but our crime was all the more heinous. And yet, I couldn't care less. I loved her more than anything and if I was going to Hell for it, then as long as she was with me, it couldn't be that bad.
ende...eheh..