A/N: Okay, this is my first creepy story ever. At first, it won't seem that bad to yall, but once you get to the end, you'll se why it's so disturbing… anyway, here's the first chapter!

Chapter 1: Magazine Model

"I'VE DONE IT!" Shuichi shouted in the living room of his and Yuki's condo.

"And I'm sure you're very proud of losing your flower (like, 3 years ago), but, I. Need. Peace!" The novelist walked in casually with annoyance in his eyes. Apparently he'd been working on his latest book.

"Yuki! That's not what I meant! I mean that I finally got a gig with a big shot magazine company!" The boy did a little leap in the air.

"So? You've been in other magazine shoots before. Why's this one so special?"

"But this isn't just ANY magazine company. This is THE ONE!"

"Well, "the one" is about to cause your over-stressed lover to pop a blood vessel if his idiot of a boyfriend doesn't stop screaming!" Yuki's eye twitched. He wasn't sure how long he could hold out before he completely strangled the singer to death.

"But that's what it's called! The ONE is the most popular magazine companies in Japan right now! And I got a shoot there!" Shuichi spun around gleefully. This would boost BAD LUCK's ratings to the top of the charts for sure.

"Big whoop. So you'll be plastered on the cover of every one of their magazines for a few issues. What's the difference?"

"But in this shoot, I'm going to be not just an advertisement for our band, but a model!" The vocalist popped his hip to the side and winked.

"Don't you always look like a-" The author caught himself before he finished the sentence. Though it wasn't his intent, Yuki didn't want the boy to think that he was complimenting him. That would REALLY get the baka fired up.

"So, since I'm going to be on the face of this new and upcoming issue of The ONE, I think I'll loose a few pounds before the shoot. You know, to keep in shape."

Yuki's eyes widened. "What! Are you kidding? You don't need to loose a few pounds! You're already slender enough as it is!" Crap. That one slipped.

"R-really? Aww, Yuki! I'm so happy you think that about me!" Shuichi clasped his hands together, dropping the copy of The ONE magazine onto the floor.

"What I MEAN is… your fans love your body build already, so why change it by getting skinnier (if it's at all possible)?"

"Well, I have been laying around lately and eating a lot of junk food… and I saw on TV that nowadays you can gain, like… 10 pounds on one cheeseburger!"

"Shuichi, that was on Sponge Bob Square-Pants."

"And?… Wait, how'd you know that?"

"You made me watch it with you last week, remember? I swear, that cartoon is on speed or something."

"Well, it could still happen! What if end up eating as many Krabby Patty's as Squidworth did? And it goes straight to my thighs?… and then I blow up!" The singer was absolutely absurd with worry. This gave Yuki a positively malevolent idea.

"Yeah. Hey, I heard that the calories in those "pocky" things you eat are raising in numbers."

"What! Really!"

"Uh huh. Heard it on the news myself. Might wanna lay off of those from now on."

"Well… it'll be hard, but if it's for The ONE…"

"And also, there's the soda… it's definitely not good for your system."

"R-right-"

"And let's not forget…"

Naming at least ten different foods and drinks that had suddenly risen by the numbers in calories and fats, Yuki had his fun in torturing his lover enough until he was satisfied.

"It's not fair! It's like the whole food industry is against me! How can all my favourite snacks be loaded with so many fats all of a sudden! How can strawberries be fattening! It's a fruit, isn't it!"

"Do you read the labels? On a box of strawberries, there are facts that tell you what the item is made of, right? Well, the stupid scientists like to use big, fancy words on idiots like you with these things to confuse people on what's what."

"So… sugar has more than one name?"

"Yeah. There's glucose, fructose… sugar cane, but I hope you have already known to associate that with sugar."

"Aaaagh! Why, oh Kami, why! Is this punishment! Did I do something wrong!"

"Yeah. You entered my life." Yuki rolled his eyes sarcastically, though Shuichi didn't seem to capture the hint of joke in his lover's voice.

"Yuki… that's mean." His head drooped and he sniffled.

"Sigh…" Here comes the water works. Maybe he should lay off teasing the baka for a while. "I didn't mean it, brat." Yuki slung an arm over the pop star and pulled him close. "You can never take a joke can you?" He said, the same emotionless look painted on his face.

"Sorry… it's just that you hardly ever joke." Shuichi rubbed his head.

The novelist noted that this was true. "Alright, whatever… but like I said, watch what you eat, or who knows what drastic changes could befall you before the shoot." He teased again, but Shuichi (like mentioned just now), couldn't tell that he was just joking with him.

"You're right! I gotta get started on that diet right away! Where's our scale? I need to see my weight!" Shuichi scurried into their bathroom, and moaned when he saw what the number on the contraption was. The older man that still stood in the living room, just sighed and chuckled under his breath. This week would certainly be entertaining.

A/N: Well, that's it! At least for this chapter. Hope you liked it so far. I'll be updating a lot, so keep checking! It's not too exciting now, but just you wait and see! Please review!