"I've got one thing to say to you
I guess you just don't realise
When you see me look at me
There's more than friendship in my eyes" (Human League)
Remus sighed. Sirius was making another list. Lately it seemed that anytime Sirius got in a mood he would make another list and refuse to talk for an hour. Then he would be completely happy. Remus had finally decided Siruis wasn't overdosing on Valium, but it didn't make list making healthy, either.
Remus poked James and pointed to Sirius. 'What's it about this time?' James scribbled on the edge of his parchment.
Remus shrugged and looked at Sirius' parchment. His eyes grew wide. 'Never mind.' he scribbled back. 'It's a list of notes.'
James nodded, looking slightly concerned, but he went back to writing down everything McGonagall was saying, or parts of it.
Remus took another quick glance at Sirius' list, then tried to resume taking notes.
ALL THE BAD THINGS ABOUT BEING IN LOVE WITH JAMES
He's not gay.
He's my best friend.
I'm a freak.
He'll never return my affections.
ALL THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT BEING IN LOVE WITH JAMES
He's my best friend?
ALL THE REASONS I AM IN LOVE WITH JAMES
He's beautiful
Smart
Funny
Nice
He's a fucking idiot.
That thing he does with his hair to impress the girls.
The way he plays with the Snitch, even though he's a Chaser.
The way he calls me 'Siri' when no one else can.
That he gave me dog treats for Christmas (idiot).
Sirius looked up. Remus was looking at his paper. Sirius' eyes went wide. He shoved the parchment in his bag. Remus started to say something, but Sirius ran out of the room before he could get the words out.
McGonagall walked to the door to call her student back to class, but James was out the door before she made it. "MR. POTTER!"
James didn't even look back. Sirius had never ran out of a class before. Skived off, yes, but not ran out. James ducked behind a statue and pulled out the Marauder's Map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." he whispered. The boy's lats on the second floor.
James took the stairs three at a time. He pushed the door open. "Sirius?" It was silent. "Sirius bloody Black!" he snapped. "Come talk to me right now or I'm going stag on your ass."
Sirius pushed the bathroom door open. Leave it to James to have no sense of tact whatsoever. "What do you want?" he asked.
"Why the hell did you storm out of Transfiguration?" James asked.
Sirius shrugged.
James grabbed his best friend by the robes and pinned him against the wall. "No. No shoulder shrugs, no 'I don't know', no blowing me off. You tell me now why you stormed out of class. I'm sick of your whole attitude with taking the world on your shoulders. You don't even talk to me anymore, you git."
"I do so." Sirius snapped.
"No, you blow hot air out your arse." James snarled. "You fill empty space with words. You don't talk to me. You always used to talk to me. You won't tell me anything anymore. Well, start again. Why'd you storm out of McGonagall's class?"
Sirius averted his eyes. "Remus saw my list."
"Must've been a bad list." James said, slowly releasing Sirius' robes, his eyes softening a bit. "Tell me."
Sirius looked at him. "I can't." His eyes were fearful.
"You mean you won't." James said coldly.
"No, James, I can't." Sirius said pleadingly. "If I tell you what's on that list, you'll hate me forever. It's terrible. It's horrible. NO!" he cried out, for James had suddenly seized his bag and started going through it.
Sirius threw himself at his best friend, who had already pulled the piece of parchment out. "Don't read it." But it was clear from James' expression he had at least started to. Sirius started crying softly, pushing himself away from his best friend. "I'm sorry."
James glared at him. "Don't be." he said. "There's no reason for you to be." He read the first list, then the second. When he read the third, a smile cracked his severe expression. "Siri . . ."
"I'm sorry." the boy whispered again.
James just shook his head and put the list back in Sirius' bag. "You really don't understand, do you?"
Sirius made a face. "Understand what? You hate me now. That's it."
James laughed. "God, you're thick." He crawled on his knees toward his best friend, then slowly pressed his lips against the other boy's cheek.
Sirius' jaw dropped.
James laughed and stood up, holding his hand out to Sirius, who took it. "You think after sharing a dorm with you for five years I haven't heard you saying my name when you wank?"
Sirius blushed, then smiled, then laughed. "Oh, go to hell."
James handed Sirius his bag and kissed the other boy again. "Now, let's go back to class and explain to McGonagall that you were sick, okay?"
Sirius smiled. "Yeah. Sure." He kissed me! He kissed me!
"Don't you know i want you
Don't you know i want you"