Author's Note:

So here is the fourth night of punishment given by the ten crazy suicidal maniacs. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I got three for the last chapter and they were from all-evil-grins, Queenofinsanity, and Suuki-Aldrea! You guys are the best! I hope you enjoy this!

Chapter #6

On the morning of the fourth day the ten suicidal guests had found a new way to try to kill themselves. Of all the ways they'd tried to do themselves in this, this horrible new way, was the most dreadful yet.

After three days all of my charge's cloths had started to smell.

The stench was getting to be too much for anyone to stand. I lined them all up and sprayed all the scented sprays on them all. But I knew it was only a short term solution, it wouldn't last forever.

And that's how I came to choose our destination for the fourth day. We were going to the mall to buy cloths for the ten suicidal loonies. I already pitied the poor sales clerk who would have to help them.

It took a long time to explain the concept of a mall but once I did they were all very excited. They all had things they wanted to buy. These things ranged from the music that Enjoras wanted to buy to the shoes that Hector had decided would be better then his sandals. All Denethor wanted was the ice cream that I owed him from the trip to the zoo.

I knew it would be expensive to buy all ten of them new cloths but the angel was paying for it so I didn't feel bad. He deserved it for all the pain he was putting me through.

When we arrived at the mall the first thing they all tried to do was run away in different directions.

"Hold it," I shouted, "don't anyone move." They all froze in mid-stride. "Does anyone remember what I taught you all about malls?" They all raised their hands in the air. "Yes Theoden," I sighed pointing at the king of Rohan.

"You can get anything you want here," he recited from what I had spent all morning teaching them, "except weapons."

"But do you remember how you get these things?" I asked them all. For a minute all I got were blank stares. Finally Achilles answered.

"You defeat the previous owners in a duel to the death?" he guessed hopefully.

"Wrong!" I yelled at him, "Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!" Clearly absolutely none of the lectures I had spent the past few days pounding into their heads had gone in one ear and out the other. "You buy the things that are for sale with money," I held up a bill for their inspection. "And since only I am holding the money only I buy you things. So that means we're all going to-?"

"Stay together," all ten of them coursed.

We bought them new cloths first. Denethor got very mad when I told him he couldn't buy a big fur coat. Finally he had to make do with a black leather jacket.

"It's just not the same," he complained now wearing the jacket over a blue polo shirt and khaki pants. I directed all of my energy towards ignoring him.

Aragorn and Arwen were delighted to find matching outfits, red shirts and blue jeans. They were so happy that I didn't even have the heart to tell Aragorn that the blue shirt he was wearing had been made for a woman.

Eponine choose an outfit very similar to her previous outfit except for the fact that her new outfit was bright pink. The skirt was also a little shorter but it wasn't a noticeable difference compared to the fact that she now looked like a giant piece of cotton candy.

Enjoras spent a rather long time deciding between a red turtleneck short or a black turtleneck shirt. Predictably he broke into song.

"Red, the blood of angry men! Black, the dark of ages past! Red… a world about to dawn! Black… the night that ends at-"

"Shut up!" A lady looking through the next rack yelled. I compromised by letting Enjoras have both shirts.

Harry Potter was mad that the store didn't carry wizards robes. He agreed to buy the nice and normal outfit I'd picked out for him but only if I would buy the green bathrobe with frogs on it he had found.

I was very sorry to give in.

Achilles was mad because the pants didn't have a sheath for his sword. He also was very sad that the cloths wouldn't protect him from enemy attacks as well as his amour would.

Hector kept asking if we could skip right to the shoes. Finally he had one new outfit and five pairs of shoes. He put one of them on and promptly decided that he didn't like them anymore and wanted his sandals back.

Javert wanted a police uniform. Nothing else would do. Finally I managed to convince him that the navy blue suit was the closest thing he would find. He grudgingly accepted it.

Theoden ended up with a cowboy outfit. I could have sworn I had been watching him the whole time but at some point he had gotten away from me. By that time however I was so sick of shopping for cloths with the ten psychopaths that I just let him keep the outfit.

After that I took them all to a restaurant to get lunch.

I'll take this minute to reflect on what an idiot I am. You'd think that I would have learned over the last few days…

But I hadn't.

As we were brought to our table the first little hitch in my plan became obvious. All ten of them began fighting over the seats. Arwen and Aragorn challenged all of them to a duel to the death over two chairs that they had named Rivendell and Gondor.

Enjoras wanted to sit by the kitchen so he could spread his message to the poor oppressed kitchen workers. Eponine, on the other hand, wanted to sit there to be closer to the cute waiter. Said waiter was hiding there after she had attempted to sing him a love song.

Achilles, Theoden, and Javert were all fighting over the chair at the head of the table. Harry Potter was more interested in saving Hector who was being trampled by the fighters dueling with bread sticks over the head chair.

But Denethor won the prize of causing the most destruction and ruckus.

The Steward of Gondor had grabbed one of the candles from the neatly set table and set the chair he wanted on fire.

A half an hour later I had talked the firemen out of pressing charges. Ditto with the people from the restaurant. On the other hand we had been kicked out before getting a chance to eat and told never to come back again.

And I had really liked that restaurant a lot.

In the end I had to stop at a drive-through fast food place. Eleven burgers, eleven large sodas, eleven fries, and ten toys later I had ten happy house guests.

Not that I was happy or anything.