8/11/2015

Hello my lovelies,

I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my story. Thank you to all of you who have stayed and waited despite that it has been such a long time to see if there is an update. I wanted to take the time and write this note to let everyone know that I'm still around and as I have said before, I HAVE NOT given up on any of my stories.

I also want to sincerely apologize for not updating any of my stories for so long. Life, my studies and my career took precedence so I had to set everything else aside and that included my writing.

Second, you have no idea how happy it makes me feel that despite all this time, you, my dear fans still take the time to send me a review and remind me that my stories have not died yet.

Thanks to you my desire to work on these pieces has been re-lit again. Although I am in a bit of a bind and I would like your humble opinion on this.

I have been looking over my stories recently and I have taken on the task of "re-writing" them. What I mean by this is that my writing style has changed in comparison to when I first wrote my stories. So far I have started with "A Never-Ending Love" and I've taken the liberty of updating the story to fit my new writing style and I've also modified and added some content that was not in the original version. Don't get me wrong, the story WILL NOT change. I feel that this style change causes more impact, if you will, to the story-telling. Not that ANEL didn't cause an impact in its original form. XD

As I just started this project, I am not very far into this process. I finished re-working chapter 4 last night.

So this is where you, my dear fans, would come in. Would you like for me to upload these new "re-vamped" chapters for ANEL as I complete them? Or just forget about it and upload what I already have? Along with this chapter, I have 1 more chapter left that was completed before I stopped working on my story.

You may either send me a private message, leave a review on this chapter and write your response there or send me a message to my email that I have created exclusively for this purpose: DragonGrl0701 at mail . com

Thank you again for everything and I can't wait to hear your responses.

~DragonGrl

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the InuYasha characters they belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

'_' Thought expressions

"Italic" Whisper expressions

So the next day, I was going to be on my way back to California. Although that same morning, something came up at Abstract and held me back from leaving on the flight I was scheduled to take. I spent the entire morning stuck meeting after meeting until about 11:30am. I didn't know what to do, Kagome's wedding was going to be at 5pm and it was easily a 5-hour flight. I was starting to get worried that I was not going to be able to make it on time. I was afraid that I was not going to be able to keep my promise to Kagome, which I knew she would DEFINITELY never forgive me for. Luckily, one of our clients offered to lend me their private plane and it would get me there quicker. I guess because it was private, it didn't have to go through the hassle that commercial airlines did. Since I was desperate, I took the plane; I had no other choice. I barely had enough time to shower and dress before I left to the airport. So I was on the plane and on my way at 1. I was a bit tired, I had a very LONG morning and being in meetings wasn't exactly fun. But I had to be ready by the time I got to California so I had to change into the dress and get ready while I was on my way over there.

Honestly, I was nervous as hell. I had butterflies in my stomach the entire time I was trying to get ready. I had to do everything myself and even the stewardesses ended up helping me. Luckily, one of them knew how to do hair and I had her fix mine for me with the things I had. I liked how she did it; she was actually very good. It was up in a fancy twist, something I definitely would not have been able to do myself. I did my makeup but the other girl ended doing my eyes since I like the way she did hers. So she was kind enough to do it for me, it was simple but I liked the way she did them. The smoky look but it wasn't too dark, yet it darkened my appearance, which it was something I was aiming for. So finally at about 3:30, I was done. The dress was perfect; it revealed just enough but did not make me look like a slut. Everything looked absolutely perfect; foolish would be the one who wouldn't look at me, not that it mattered after all. Once all was done, I finally walked back out to sit and crashed onto one of the seats. By then I was tired, the day was not even half way over and I was already exhausted. So I sat back and enjoyed my water peacefully before my cell phone started to ring.

I looked over to it and picked it up. I looked at the caller ID, it was Kagome and I was already able to hear what she was going to say. I was even able to hear her screams ring in my ears before I picked up the phone.

So I sighed before I answered it, "Hello."

"RIN, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? THE WEDDING IS GOING TO START IN AN HOUR AND YOU'RE NOT HERE YET."

She was yelling so loud that I had to pull the phone away from my ear. I turned and spoke into the phone, "Kagome, calm down. I'm on my way. I had something come up this morning at Abstract and I had to take a later flight."

Shocked, "WHAT? You're barely on your way…" Then her voice lightened, "Rin… you promised."

I looked towards the phone, she was thinking that I wasn't going to be there. So I shook my head and placed the phone back on my ear, "I know I did and I'm going to keep my promise. Don't worry I'll be there besides, I'm almost there. I have only about half an hour left."

Curious, "Half an hour? Well what time did you leave New York?"

"At 1 cause I had to go home and shower before I left."

I could tell she was wondering how I was getting there so fast, "Well lets see it's going to be 4 now… you left at 1. So it's going to take you 3 and a half-hours? How the hell did you do that, you're riding on a damn jet plane or something?"

I smiled, "Actually, I am. I had to borrow one of my clients' private jet to take me otherwise I wouldn't have been able to make it on time."

Shocked, "Really? You're on a private jet? Wow, look at you, flying in style."

I laughed, "Yeah pretty much. The sad part is that I had to get ready in here and luckily the girls helped me. So I'm going to head straight to the church once I get to the airport."

"Wow, that's cool. Tell them I said thank you cause your style is horrendous.'

I frowned, "HEY, THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

She laughed, "I'm just kidding but seriously, thank them for me. Oh and do you want me to tell Ayame to send her driver to you, so you won't have to get a taxi."

I nodded, "Yeah, it would be better otherwise I'd have to carry the shitload of bags I have with me to the wedding and I don't think you want that." Then I started to laugh.

"NO way, I'll let her know."

I giggled then asked, "So Kagome, aren't you nervous? I mean shit, it's not even MY wedding and I'm nervous as hell."

"Oh you can't imagine how much I am. I was yelling at poor Inuyasha all morning before I left to Ayame's house to get ready. But why are –you- nervous?"

I turned to look out the window, seeing the clouds pass by, "Well, I mean why shouldn't I be, it's your wedding. It's something special and I want everything to go ok for you." Although, it was partially true but something else was making me more nervous. I think she already knew that.

She giggled, "Jeez, Rin. You sound like it's going to be your wedding. You don't have to worry, it's going to be." Then she stopped, "But seriously, why are you nervous? Is it because of Sesshomaru? You know he's here too."

I nodded, lightly, "Yeah, I know he is. Especially because I know that he's most likely there with his wife too." I chuckled, "How funny, aren't I the one that's supposed to be telling YOU that it's going to be ok?"

She sighed, "Yeah, I know. Believe me, I tried but I'm sure he's not so glad of having to bring her with him." She giggled, "Yeah but in our case, the tables have turned."

I snickered, "Yeah, the happy couple." I was being sarcastic of course.

Lightly, "It's never been happy Rin. Even when it began, it wasn't happy."

I sat back on the seat and sighed, lightly, "I know… I know it hasn't. I just… I know."

"… You're nervous because you're going to see him, aren't you?"

I nodded as I stared blankly out the window, "Yeah, I don't know if I'll be able to take it. I mean, I've spent all this time away. I've tried and done everything to move on which I believe I have but it… I know that with one look, just one single look, it could all fall into pieces and honestly, I'm afraid that it would."

"Nah, I don't think it will Rin. You're strong; you've shown that. You've made it through other things, worse things and you've been ok."

"Yeah but none of those things were as hard as having to keep the love of my life away because it can't be. Only the day when I actually did push him away, which was the hardest thing I ever did."

She just remained silent, she knew I was right. It was just hard thinking that I had to push our entire memories aside. I had to make all the moments that we shared fade away and had to look at him as nothing more than a friend of the family when we were way more, SO much more. But I had to snap out of it, I didn't want to think more sad thoughts. I didn't want to ruin it for Kagome, I mean, it was her day. She should enjoy it to its fullest. So I chuckled as I wiped a lone tear that had fallen, "Anyway, let's not talk about this anymore. It's your special day. It should be happy and I'm…"

She interrupted, "Rin…"

Confused, "Yeah Kagome?"

"Just promise me something."

I was caught completely off guard. I didn't even know what to think or what to expect from her especially at her sudden change of subject. "Of course, anything."

"Just promise me that you're not going to do anything stupid because of all this. I truly believe you're going to get through it and it'll all turn out all right in the end. Just promise me that."

I just continued to look forward and remained silent. She was meaning suicide, which in truth; it did run through my mind several times. Luckily, I always had someone there to help me out of it and push me onward. I sighed, "I'm not going to deny that the thought hasn't crossed my mind but… I always have my family and friends to support me when I need them the most. You guys are what keep me going and besides… now I have my little niece or nephew to think about. You think I'm going to let you keep the little bundle all to yourself? Ha, ain't happenin' sista." Then I started to laugh.

I was able to tell that she felt better, I was glad too because I didn't think about it anymore. I had more things to look forward to and I wasn't about to cut myself out of them. She giggled, "What was that all about huh?"

"A little something I picked up in New York."

She laughed, "Oh jeez, it's going to be funny seeing what else you picked up."

I laughed, "You'll have time, I have much more."

She giggled, "Definitely." Then someone called for her so she stopped talking and started talking to the other person. Then she started talking to me again, "Hey Rin, how far away are you?"

I asked one of the stewardesses and she said that it was about 15 minutes. "It's going to be another 15 minutes."

"Oh ok, well Ayame's driver is already on his way. He should be there by the time you get here. I have to let you go now, I'll talk to you when you get here ok."

I smiled, "All right. See you in a bit."

"K, bye."

"Bye." Then I clicked off the phone.

I placed my phone back into my purse then fully sat back on the chair and relaxed, thinking. How would I act around him? How would I make myself not run into his arms as my body so desperately yearned? I didn't know but I just had to make it through, it was just for several hours. What were several hours, nothing, at least I thought so back then. I just shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts, the only real way to know was to actually be there and it wasn't going to take very long for it to happen.

The last fifteen minutes of the flight passed by really quickly. I seriously felt myself start to doze off when the captain suddenly announced that we were going to land. That just made my nerves start up again. I was back home again and it was truly nerve wrecking. Once I was allowed to get off the plane, I was glad to see that Ayame's driver was already there waiting for me. So he loaded my luggage into the trunk and I stopped by to thank the girls before I finally made my way to the church. Luckily, I was able to make it there at 4:45 so I still had time to talk to Kagome. When I finally made it to the church, everyone was already seated inside. I, on the other hand, made my way to find the room where Kagome was in. I was thankful that I didn't have to go very far when I finally found it. I was able to hear the girls already in there talking to Kagome. I smiled as I stood outside the door and took a deep breath before I reached out to open it.

I opened the door and stepped in, "Am I interrupting something?"

I couldn't help laughing when I saw their heads turn towards me at the same time and their eyes widened at the sight of me. I was able to see their eyes fill with tears as my vision started to get a bit blurry at the sight of their tears. Kagome was the first one to run towards me, "RIN, oh my God you made it. I'm so glad you're here," as she wrapped her arms around me.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly, "I told you I would be here. I never break my promises to you." Then we pulled back and I reached up to wipe some of the tears from her cheeks as I shook my head, "No more tears or you'll ruin your makeup." I moved back and looked at her, she looked beautiful. I smiled, "Wow, you look absolutely beautiful Kagome. That dress is amazing."

She sniffled, "Really, you think so?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it's gorgeous." Then I walked up to her and placed my hand over her tummy, "See, even the baby thinks so." By then, she was about two months pregnant and her tummy was already starting to show.

She smiled, "Thanks Rin." Then she chuckled, "I should say the same to you. You look great."

I felt my cheeks flush and looked down at myself then back at her as I waved my hand, "Don't be silly, it could've been better."

Sango added, "No Rin, really, you look great." Ayame smiled and nodded her head.

I smiled, "Thanks."

Then I turned towards Sango and Ayame; "You guys look awesome as well."

Ayame walked up and wrapped her arms around me, her voice was a bit shaky and I was able to tell that she was going to cry, "I'm so glad you're ok Rin. We're glad to have you back."

I wrapped my arms around her and cooed, "Awww Ayame, please don't cry or we'll both have our mascara running before the ceremony. I missed you, all of you guys a lot."

She pulled back and wiped a tear with the handkerchief she had in her hand, "You're right, then we'll look like rejected Halloween models."

We all laughed and I added, "or punk rockers."

She laughed, I was glad to see her again. I was glad that she was ok and she looked better than ever. Then I moved over to Sango and wrapped my arms around her, "Sango, you look stunning." Then I backed away even as I couldn't hold back my laughter, "You'd better watch out for that wandering hand. It might be tempted now more than ever."

She laughed, "Yeah, I know. I've already slapped him a couple of times today and I'm still counting on more."

I giggled, "That Miroku is just so predictable."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. So Ayame asked, "Who could it be?" as she turned to open it. She cracked it open first, I guess just to make sure it wasn't Inuyasha trying to sneak a peek of Kagome before the wedding. She laughed, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought it was Inuyasha again trying to peek in here. Come in." That's when she fully opened the door and my eyes widened as my heart nearly stopped within my chest. I unconsciously moved and stood behind Kagome to hide from him.

He chuckled, "It's all right. Yes he does tend to have NO patience," as he walked in. Then he walked up to Kagome and smiled, "Kagome, you look enchanting. I came by to congratulate you now because I know afterwards I won't be able to fight off the crowds." Then he wrapped his arms around her.

She giggled, "That's true. Thank you Sess." Although he was so focused on Kagome that he never realized I was standing a bit behind her until after the embrace. He opened his eyes and looked in my direction.

That's when I noticed them widen and his jaw nearly dropped, lightly, "Rin…"

I swear I felt my breaths stick in my throat and I tried to fake a smile, which I'm sure it didn't look like one. I didn't know what else to do so I returned his greeting with a nod, lightly, "Hi Sess."

He snapped out from the trance he looked to be in and asked, "When… when did you come back?"

I just kept looking at him, feeling my once strong barriers begin to plunder. I kept looking at him, "I… I just got here about 10 minutes ago."

He nodded, not removing his gaze from me; "I'm… I'm glad you made it ok."

I nodded, lightly, "Thank you."

Then someone called for him from the hallway and he turned to the person then nodded. He turned back towards us and smiled, "I've got to go. I'll see you ladies outside."

The breath I never knew I was holding escaped my lungs the moment he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him. I swear I had to sit down because it was just too much for me. Then the girls walked up to me, "Hey Rin, are you ok?"

I nodded as I stared at the floor, "Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed but… I'm ok."

Sango added, "Wow, you two had quite a moment there."

Kagome, "Yes that –was- quite a moment."

I looked up to them, "I know… but it's always been like that. So I'm kinda used to them, or so I thought."

That's when Kagome threw the bomb at me, "Well Rin… I umm…. I don't know how to tell you this but… you're going have to walk with him down the aisle."

My eyes widened and I looked towards her, shocked, "WHAT?"

She backed away, it was funny, Kagome was actually afraid of me for once in her life, "I know but… he's the best man and… the maid of honor have to walk in together, each holding the rings."

I shook my head, "Are you serious? You're going to make me walk it down with him?"

She walked up to me and clapped her hands together, begging, "Please Rin, just this once. Do it for me… please," as she gave me the innocent puppy eyes.

I sighed and looked away, "Ok Kagome. I'll do it." Then I turned towards her, "BUT, just this once."

She smiled and leaned in to wrap her arms around my neck as she kissed my cheek, "Thank you, thank you. You don't know how much this means to me." Then she looked at me, her arms still around my neck, "You're not mad at me are you?"

I looked at her and tried to keep a straight face but I just couldn't, I felt a smile start to appear and I rubbed her arm lightly, "Nah, I'm not." Then I looked away from her, "Besides, if I'm going to move on, I have to be able to do this without any problem."

She giggled and kissed my cheek again before she pulled away, "You'll be ok, I promise."

I snickered, "Yeah, I guess so."

Then there was another knock at the door and Ayame opened it, it was the priest, it was time. So we stood and I was able to tell that Kagome's nerves started up. We did the final touches to anything that needed to be done and made our way towards the outer hallway of the church. That's when I saw him again, standing by the door. My eyes widened and I looked away, I didn't want him to notice the blush that was present. So I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, 'Control Rin, control. You can do this.' But when I opened my eyes again and looked up, I was startled to find him standing next to me. So I gasped and almost jumped in surprise.

He smiled, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

I shook my head; "No it's ok. I was just… distracted."

Curious, "By what?"

I looked around; "By… by the decorations in here, they're beautiful."

He chuckled as he reached out and wrapped my arm around his, "You know, you're still an awful liar Rin." He nudged his head, "Come, we have to stand over here." Then he started to lead me somewhere.

I felt my heart start to race the moment he picked up my hand and wrapped it around his arm. It had been a while and I guess because of the circumstances we were in, it felt a bit uncomfortable but truthfully, I didn't mind. Since I really had no clue where I had to be, I walked with him until we were standing behind the brides' maids and their partners. Once we were standing in place, I lowered my head and sighed, "I hate not knowing what to do. I'm not even fully prepared either, I don't have the ring," as I lifted the small pillow in my hand.

He chuckled again, "It's ok. That's because I have them, here you have to take Kagomes'." So he removed his arm from mine and reached into his pocket to pull out the ring and placed it on top of the pillow.

I looked at him and curled my lips up to a smile, "Thanks."

He smiled and offered his arm again, "You're welcome and don't worry, it'll be ok." Since I didn't respond to him, he nudged his arm, "Come on, it's time." That's when I heard the music start to play inside.

"Oh yeah." So I wrapped my arm around his and looked forward as I noticed the church doors start to open.

Then I heard his whisper, "By the way… you… you look incredible."

My cheeks flamed up and I looked at him, seeing his cheeks tinted with a shade of red as he continued to look forward. I couldn't help but giggle, "Thank you," before it was time for us to walk in. So we started to walk down the aisle and I used my every bit of strength to block any thoughts from entering my mind. I just focused on walking up and making it without any problem until I felt something. So I looked towards the right side of the church where Inu and Sess's family was sitting. I knew most of them but they weren't the one's giving me the bad karma until I found the source, it was his 'wife'.

I guess he felt it too and leaned in a bit to whisper, "Just ignore it."

I slightly shook my head, "How can I? She's pretty much shooting daggers at me."

He slightly shook his head, "Yeah, she apparently is a professional at that but just forget about her. She will get over it, she will have to."

I giggled, "As long as I don't get my head chopped off, I'm happy."

I heard him hold back from laughing and chuckled as he said, lightly, "Silly…"

I just curled my lips up to a smile as we continued to walk. A few moments later, we arrived to the altar and I stood by where Kagome was going to be and he went off to stand next to Inuyasha. When it was Kagome's turn to walk in, everyone stood and stared in awe at her as she walked up to the altar, especially Inuyasha. Since our parents weren't with us anymore, Sesshomaru's father took place of our father and handed Kagome to Inuyasha. So the ceremony continued and it was a real tearjerker, especially when it came down to their vows. It was a very beautiful ceremony. The newlyweds were the last ones to walk out and everyone threw confetti at them in celebration for their marriage. As for Sess and I, we walked away from the crowd. Just like he had said earlier, it was going to be hard fighting off the crowd of people around the couple so we waited off to the side. But by then, we weren't standing so close to each other anymore.

I had unwrapped my arm from his and took a step away from him, in order to give us distance. We stopped under a tree and looked at the crowd, seeing the couple get showered with hugs and kisses. I smiled, "She looks happy."

"Yeah, they both do. I'm glad Inuyasha finally decided to settle down." He chuckled, "He needed to be tamed because he would get rabid like a wild dog sometimes."

I lowered my head and giggled, "I'm sure he did and he found the right bitch to do it too."

He laughed, "Of course."

We remained silent for a while. It wasn't that bad, I would be able to live with that. As long as I had him near me, I would be ok even in it wasn't the way I wanted to be. I would be able to live with having him as just a friend. I lifted my head and looked at Kagome again then sighed, lightly, "I'm so proud of her. She was able to move on and she lived up to my father's standards. I'm sure he's very proud of her too."

"I'm sure she's not the only one he's proud of. She's not the only one that has."

I looked towards him and found him with a sad look on his face as he looked at me. I curled my lips up to a smile and lowered my head a bit, "Thanks."

Suddenly, someone called his name, "Sesshomaru!"

We both looked in the direction of the voice and managed to see that it was his wife. I had to get away from there; I didn't want to be near her. So I nudged my head in her direction, lightly, "She's looking for you. I'll leave you alone."

He looked at me, "Why? You could stay here if you want. You don't have to leave."

I shook my head, "No way, I choose life thank you. I like the head I have and I want to keep it for a bit longer thanks," as I giggled and started to walk away from him.

I was able to hear him chuckle before his voice was overpowered by hers. I just didn't want to listen anymore; I didn't want to know what was going on between them. So I ignored them and continued to walk towards the crowd until I found Ayame.

She smiled, "So…"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Well, it was ok. We talked… until –she- showed up. That's when I left, I didn't want to be there anymore."

Her face saddened a bit, "Yeah, she could be a real witch if she wants to. You did good, stay away from her."

I nodded, lightly, "Yeah but… wouldn't that mean that I have to stay away from him too?"

"Well wasn't that the reason why you left? So you would?"

I looked at her and sighed as I lowered my head, "Yeah, you're right. That –was- the reason." I shook my head, "Now… I'm not so sure."

She placed her hand on my shoulder and leaned down to look at my face, lightly, "Rin, look at me dear." I lifted my head and looked at her, "Even if it's hard to accept it, she IS attached to him. If you're trying to avoid her, it includes him too." She shook her head, "I don't mean to sound cruel Rin but you must keep that in mind. I know you don't want any problems with her right?"

I swear I felt all my hope and dreams fall to the floor that moment. She was right, she was absolutely right in every aspect and even at that moment, it was hard to accept it. I did need to keep him away from me, not just for my benefit but in order to avoid any conflicts with Kagura. I lowered my head again and shook it, lightly, "No I don't and you're right. You're absolutely right Ayame; I do have to stay away from him. I have to let him live his life and I mine." I honestly felt my eyes start to fill with tears.

She leaned in and wrapped her arm around my neck, "I'm sorry but it's just the way it has to be. I don't want you to get into a problem that you won't be able to get out from."

Stop the problem at its source, him. I knew she was only trying to protect me, she was only trying to help me from getting into awkward situations but it meant completely pushing away the one person I truly loved and it broke my heart. I moved away from her as I kept my head down and looked away, I couldn't even look at her. I needed to be alone, I needed to be away from the crowd and I didn't want Kagome to see me so I turned, lightly, "I… I'm going to take a walk," as I started to walk away from her and towards the gardens.

Sadly, "Rin… I…" was all I was able to hear before I quickened my pace to get away. I continued walking until I entered the gardens. I kept trying to hold back the tears that started to fall but the more I tried, the more they fell. I continued walking until I came across a tiny prayer house. I didn't know where else to go, I was desperate. So I walked in and stood in the corner. I leaned back on the wall and looked at the altar. It was hard to believe it was over, it was hard to accept the fact that it really had ended. I kept staring at the altar, hoping that my every question would be answered, why did he have to entirely disappear from my life? Yet, I received absolutely no answer.

I felt my chest tighten from my effort to hold back the sobs. 'I'm not going to cry I knew it would happen. I –wanted- it to happen. I'm –not- going to cry.' But the more I repeated it to myself, the harder it became to hold them back. Until I could not hold it anymore and bent down to cry into my hands. I didn't understand why I was crying, I already knew it had to happen. I already had programmed myself to think of him as nothing more than a friend but it hurt more to think that I couldn't even have that. He had to become a stranger; I had to forget I even knew him at all.

I continued crying for a while until I was finally able to regain my self-control again. I walked up and sat in the bench that was inside as I looked down at my darkened hands. I knew that my makeup had been messed up. I couldn't show up to the reception like that. Even though I wasn't much in the mood to be there, I had to. That and I didn't want to show signs that I had been crying either. The good thing was that I was alone, there was no one else to witness my suffering.

Although a few moments later, I heard someone walk in and a gasp, "Rin, oh my goodness. I'm so glad I found you."

I lifted my head and looked at the wall as I nodded, lightly, "Yeah, I'm in here Sango."

She walked over and sat next to me, lightly, "Hey, Ayame told me what happened. Are you ok?"

I closed my eyes and nodded, "Yeah, I am now. I released what needed to be let out."

"Hmmm… that's good."

I shook my head, "I didn't mean to hurt Ayame, I just… I just needed to be alone." Then I looked at her.

She shook her head as she looked towards the altar, "No, she knows that. She understands that you might be angry with her about what she said and she understands why you reacted that way because it hurt."

I nodded, "Yeah, it did but I'm glad she isn't mad at me."

She curled her lips to a smile as she shook her head again and looked at me, "Why should she be? There's no reason for her to be mad at you and she knows you're sorry too. She told me to tell you that you don't need to apologize for what happened, it just did." Then her smile faded, "But then when you disappeared, we all began to worry about you because we didn't know where you went."

"Does Kagome know about this?"

She shook her head, "No, we didn't want to tell her. She left to the reception hall a bit after you walked away."

I sighed, "Good, I don't want to ruin her day because of my problems."

"Now you are going to the reception right? I mean if you don't, Kagome will start asking about you and we'll have to end up telling her what happened."

I shook my head, "I don't even think I can. My makeup is all messed up now and I'm sure my eyes are swollen."

She shook her head and cooed as she reached up to wipe off a tear, "Awww it's not that bad. It's nothing more than what a few touch ups can fix." She smiled, "Come on, I'll fix it for you and then we can go to the party together. What do you think?"

I curled my lips up to a smile as I nodded, "Ok Sango. Thanks."

"Great, come on. Let's get out of here," as she stood and waited for me to stand.

I smiled and responded with a nod before I stood and we walked towards the door. She stepped out first and when I was just about to step out myself, I stopped and looked at the altar again. I said nothing just looked at it before I turned and finally made our way out of the prayer house. We walked back in the direction of the church and bumped into Miroku on our way back since he'd taken the other side of the garden to look for me. From the church, we stopped by Sango's house where she helped reduce the swelling of my eyes and touched up my make up. Once she was done, I looked as if nothing had ever happened. Right after, we headed out to the reception hall where the party was going to be. When we walked in, we started making our way to sit at the table Kohaku and Kanna were sitting, in which they were saving seats for us. On the way to the table though, I caught sight of Ayame and noticed the sad look on her face, as she looked at me walk by. I smiled and nodded as I mouthed, "I'm ok now," as I kept walking. A smile appeared on her lips at my gesture and I was glad that she received my message. Once we were on the table, I greeted Kohaku and Kanna and congratulated them on their progressing relationship. Afterwards though, I went over to the table Kagome was sitting at because she had sent someone to fetch me. Of course she asked why we had taken so long to get there, I made up the excuse that I accidentally smeared my makeup and we stopped by Sango's house to fix it. Well it was partially true but I couldn't tell her the rest.

So I spent the rest of the party with the group. Sesshomaru, of course, was sitting on the other side of the hall with his family. Although, I made no attempt to locate where he was, I tried not to look at him. Yet I felt hard stares throughout the night which I had my suspicions on who they were from. After the dinner, the dance started and I was definitely staying away from that. My plan failed though the many times that the others pulled me out to dance with them. Nonetheless I had fun and made new good memories. Since I did have a very long day, I tired really quickly into the party. The fun was just getting started but I was completely exhausted by then. So I asked Ayame to lend me her driver so he could take me home, she tried to convince me to stay but didn't push it much, I did look tired. The same went for Kagome; she wanted me to stay but did say so herself that I looked dead tired. So I said goodnight to the group and walked out of the hall into the lobby. I waited there for a few minutes while the driver fetched the car but the moment I was going to walk out the door, I heard my name being called.

"Rin, wait."

I stopped and turned in the direction of the voice, my heart stopped again. He walked up to me, "Wait, I need to ask you something."

My eyes widened a bit, what did he want to ask me. What did he want to know? I didn't know all I was able to see was the sadness present in his eyes. Lightly, "What is it?"

He took a step closer towards me as he kept looking into my eyes, "I saw you talking to Ayame after you walked away. You looked sad and you even walked away from her. What happened? Are you ok?"

He saw what happened, he kept looking at me even though Kagura was with him. That made my heart start to race, I was going to answer him but then it flashed back to me. "If you're trying to avoid her, it includes him too." So I looked away from him and nodded, lightly, "Yeah, I'm ok." I looked out and the driver was waiting for me so I looked towards him, "I've got to go, the driver is waiting for me. Good night."

But then he reached out and gently held onto my arm, stopping me from stepping out. I looked at him as he continued to look at me, "Wait, are you really? Is everything all right between you and Ayame?" Then he reached up and cupped my cheek in his other hand as he shook his head, "Don't lie to me Rin."

I felt my cheek tingle at his touch, it had been a long time, too long. I almost caught myself closing my eyes and move into his hand until I stopped myself. What was I doing, I needed to push him away. He couldn't be so close to me anymore and I had to make sure of it. So I moved away from his hand and shook my head, "I'm not. Everything is fine between her and I, and I'm ok. Why shouldn't I be?"

He remained silent and never removed his gaze from me. But internally, I was crying out to him, it wasn't ok. Nothing was ever ok because I wasn't with him especially since I had to stay away from him completely. I didn't think it would ever be ok but I couldn't tell him that. I had to let him think that it was and let him move on. So I reached up and gently removed his hand from my arm, the feeling of his skin felt like fire to my hand. "Sess, I have to go. I've had a long day and I'm exhausted."

He nodded, "All right, you do look tired. Have a good rest."

I needed to get out of there. I had to leave because by then, I was much too tired to think rationally and if I stayed there, I would lose all form of rationality and do something that I would regret later. So I curled my lips up to a smile, "Thanks, you too."

I turned and I was about to step out the door when he said, "Good night my l… Rin."

I stopped and felt my heart sink at him catching his words. I felt tears pool in my eyes again and I couldn't, I wouldn't have been able to handle seeing him so I glanced back and responded, "Good night Sess." While my heart responded, "Farewell my love." Finally, I walked out of there and made my way to the car with tears running down my cheeks. Once inside, I noticed that he didn't move from where he was and continued to look in my direction, the sadness never left his eyes. That only fueled my tears even more and I was glad when the car finally took off because I was not going to be able to handle another second more. During the drive to Ayame's house, I kept holding back from crying out again but the tears never ceased to fall. Luckily, the driver had gone back to the house and unloaded my luggage up to the room after he dropped me off at the church. So I stepped out of the car and into the house, where I immediately walked up to my room.

Although the moment I stepped in, I couldn't hold back anymore and ran towards the bed, climbing on it. I reached out and clutched tightly onto the pillow as I sobbed into it, disregarding the fact that it was becoming black and blue from my makeup. I continued to cry for several hours but my exhaustion took the best of me and eventually made me fall asleep. Those moments of desperation were what made me begin to doubt my promise to Kagome. But I had promised her that I wouldn't do anything rash and I wanted to keep that promise, especially for the baby. I didn't want the child to have to learn that his aunt took her life because of her desperation. Not my niece or nephew, yet the new adaptation was going to be extremely tough. I just hoped that I would have such strength to keep me going even if I felt like I was going to break.