A/N: The words in italic are lyrics, the words in bold are Squib's thoughts, the words underlined are Cody's thoughts. R&R, this is well a new writing style for me so tell me what you think. Oh, oh, dedicated to Becca/CP because she's evil and like positively my bestest virtual friend. ; But mostly because she's evil and loves to torture me with her fics.

Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics in this fic. Staind does. I love it and you should listen to it, it's called Right Here and sung by Staind. And of course, I don't own 15/Love, damnit

Geez, why can't I get you out of my damn head? You're supposed to be a friend, a friend. Friends don't, aren't, supposed to feel this way about each other the way I do. I know I'm only just some dumb boy but I still know a thing or two about relationships. And I can't stop thinking about you, your stupid hair and your stupid face. It's always there. And I can't escape it. But that's not the worst part, no the worst part is that I don't want to.

I know I've been mistaken

But just give me a break

And see the changes that I've made

The darkroom. That Goddamned stupid darkroom. I was so close to having you. I really did want you. So close. But I let you slip away. The worst mistake I've ever made. Don't worry, Citygirl, I'm not going to let you get away next time. Yes, there'll be a next time. And I'll show you how I've changed. Don't get too excited, though, I'll always be that hostile jerk you've grown to love.

I've got some imperfections

But how can you collect them all And throw them in my face?

I suck, I know. I'm just this selfish person, selfish, always so fucking selfish. And I can be shallow, so fucking shallow. Oh but my best imperfection would have to be how I'm "emotionally shut down" and how "I never let anyone in". You always manage to throw that one in my face. But the truth is I'm scared, my feelings scare the shit out of me. Saying them would only make them feel more real. I don't want them to be real. That's why I'm shut down. Always so fucking shut down.

But you always find a way

To keep me right here waiting

You always find the words to say

To keep me right here waiting

You're unbelievable, you know that? 'Meet me at the Open after bedcheck' you tell me and then you don't even have the decency to show up. Because trust me, buddy, it's way past bedcheck, bedcheck was 5 hours ago. I've been waiting here ever since then. I had to bat my eyes like a crazy woman to get here. I swear Rick it's getting harder to please him everyday. Oh, why aren't you here, Squib? Actually, I have a better question! Why am I still here? Because somehow those 7 words, 'meet me at the Open after bedcheck', are keeping me here. And I don't know why. But here I am, waiting.

If you chose to walk away

I'd still be right here waiting

Searching for the things to say

To keep you right here waiting

I hope you're not intending

To be so condescending

I'm an idiot, I know. I'm a coward, too, but I figure you've noticed that already. Do you have any idea how much strength it's taking me to walk down these halls? With every step I take I'm anticipating your face. Oh, God, Cody, you better be at the Open. Oh please be at the Open. I need to see you, I don't know why. But I need too. Just don't start screaming at me once I see you? You'll be mad; you're thinking I stood you up. You'll get angry. And I'll be trying to find the words to say to keep you waiting. You'll get angry. Because you would've had to flirt with Geddes to get this far. I know how much you hate that. That's right, I do listen.

It's as much as I can take

There's someone in the hall. And I'm scared. I'm imagining something popping out from around the corner and eating me. Yes, I know, it's stupid. But ever since I was 5 and my sister told me about how the boggy monster eats children, I've been afraid. I know, it's hard to believe, Cody Myers is still afraid of the boggy man. Why aren't you here? It's been 6 hours, you were supposed to be here 6 hours ago. Why aren't you here? I'm going dangerously insane. I can't take it anymore.

You're so independent

Almost there, almost there. Why do I keep having this desire to see you? To divulge some sort of secret to you? It's like I've grown dependent on you. Which is weird because #1, Furlongs aren't dependent and #2 you're so independent. Okay, #2 doesn't make sense as a "because" but trust me you don't make much sense either. Scratch that. We don't make that much sense.

You just refuse to bend

So I keep bending 'till I break

Why aren't you here? Idiot. There's a little thing called give and take. So far all you've been doing is taking. And you know what? I enjoy giving. Only to you, of course. Damn you. Damn me for loving you, Squib. I'm breaking and it hurts. I'm breaking! And my heart's breaking because I love you. Crap. I. Love. You. Crap. Breaking, Squib, breaking dangerously fast. And once you stop bending and start breaking you'll understand why I can't keep waiting.

But you always find a way

To keep me right here waiting

And always find the words to say

To keep me right here waiting

I'm too late, I can see you walking. Away. Dangerously fast. Maybe you'll come back. I can wait. I'll be right here waiting.

If you chose to walk away

I can see you, from the corner of my eye. I'm trying to walk away. I won't look back. I won't turn back. I can't keep waiting.

I'd still be right here waiting

Searching for the things to say

To keep you right here waiting

Turn around. Look back. Cody, please. At least slow down. I'm wrecking my brain trying to think of something to say. To keep you waiting for me, Cody. I'm ready. I'm here. I love you. Fuck, I love you. Fuck, oh shit. Oh shit, shit, shit. I love you. And now you're gone, turning the corner. And I'm going to wait for you as long as it takes. The way you waited for me.

I've made a commitment

I'm willing to bleed for you

Damn you. I'm looking back. I can't see you any more but I know you're close. Damn you. Do you always have to hide? Damn you, I'm turning around. Why do I care about you so much? About what you think? I'd risk my life for you if I knew it'd make you happy. Damn you. I'm walking back. Damn you.

I needed fulfillment

I found what I need in you

Is it possible? Is it really you? You're coming back? I'm not worth your time, Codes. I'm not good enough for you. We both know that. And it sucks because when I feel sad and alone I can just think of you and the sadness and loneliness is gone. Cody, turn around, go back home. Don't waste your time on me. I'm not worth it, really. I'm not.

Why can't you just forgive me?

Why the hell are you backing away? I'm sorry I didn't wait for you! Well I did, I mean I did wait 6 hours for you. I'm just sorry I didn't wait longer. So stop backing away. Maybe I should back away? Is that what you want? Would you just forgive me? Stop backing away!

I don't want to relive all the mistakes

I've made along the way

Those blue eyes, your blue eyes. Take them off me! I'm trying to get away. But those eyes, your Goddamn eyes are killing me. Can't you see I want what's best for you? I'm just a selfish-emotionally shut down-jerk. Can't you see that? Hah, I'm a hypocrite. I told myself that next time I wouldn't let you slip away. But what am I doing right now? Letting you slip away! I'm stopping. I've officially stopped walking. But you haven't. You're eyes. Why are they so beautiful?

But I always find a way

To keep you right here waiting

Hah, you stopped. And I know it was because of something I did. Somehow I found a way to keep you waiting. Admit it, Furlong, you can't resist me. Okay, that sounded vain, even in my head, but it's true.

I always find the words to say

To keep you right here waiting

You're literally two feet away from me. Wow, you really are short. You're smirking. You think you've won? No, my dear, it's at least a tie. Because who kept you waiting all night? That's right, CG, me.

But you always find a way

To keep me right here waiting

"Jerk" I managed to break the silence.

"If I'm such a jerk why are you still here?" You're smirking, yet your voice is unsure. Unsure of the reason why I'm still here? Because I love you, you dolt.

You always find the words to say

To keep me right here waiting

Why isn't this awkward? Why haven't I given up on you? Stupid question, I know perfectly well why. Because you have a way of singing when you talk. Cluckwad. And I'm addicted to the song.

"It's complicating. I'm not sure you'll understand." You sigh, it's a desperate sigh, I hate it. You're not desperate, Cody. Don't be. I'm the desperate one.

"Try me."

If I chose to walk away

Would you be right here waiting?

"Do I honestly have too? Isn't it obvious?" I snort. Ewww, I snorted. Since when do I snort? Adena snorts. I, Cody Myers, do not snort. Since when did I, Cody Myers, become so self-conscious? Damn you, Squib.

"No and yes." Your taking a step forward. And surprisingly you're not taking two steps back. You're surprising me a lot lately.

"Phewf." I finish rather lamely, you don't seem faze by it. Instead you're playing with my hair! And I know that this nothing could go wrong. No Sunny or Coach Gunnerson here to destroy this. And I was right, as usual, heh, vanity strikes my brain again. Your lips just grazed mine and your arms are around me. And I can let you transform me. I can let the ecstasy take over. But I need to know one more thing. "You're willing to wait? For me? If I need you too wait? Will you?" And from an outsiders point of view we must seem like we're talking about a trip to the doctor's office, but you're not an outsider. And this is much more than a stupid doctor's appointment. This is love. Damn.

Searching for the things to say

To keep you right here waiting

You're beautiful, know that? I love you, know that? I'd do anything for you, know that? And when I see you my heart skips, know that? I want to put that feeling into words. I want to answer your questions. I'm searching for the words.
And I do the stupidest thing. I nod. Hell, I'm nodding right now. And you're smiling because I probably look like a bobblehead doll. Right? Don't even bother saying no, because I know you way too well. And I also know how I look when my head nods. And now you're freaking me out, just a bit. Your face is buried in my chest and you're laughing. And it feels funny. But your laugh is beautiful. And I'm losing myself in it. Like I always do. But you've stopped and pulled away. Those eyes, those blue eyes. They're reading me. And I want to say something. But I'm afraid to open my mouth, afraid I'll say something stupid. Thankfully I'm not afraid to kiss. Hardi har har.

Waiting