Name: Erik Wagner

Grade: 2

Father's name: Kurt Wagner

Mother's name: Elisabeth "Betsy" Braddock

School: Black Forest Elementary School

Erik Wagner shifted uncomfortably in his seat, sighing. His eyes flicked to the clock on the wall. One foot hit the floor, bored. Bored! Bored!

Ten more minutes until recess.

Ten more minutes until recess.

Ten, wait, nine! Nine more minutes until recess.

He couldn't wait.

Mr. Muller was watching the class with a sort of why do I even bother look while he meanwhile went on explaining the two's table even though he knew no one listening.

He sighed. "All right."

"We can go out early?" Erik asked, practically lunging over the top of his desk.

"Not quite." Erik deflated and crawled back into his seat. Mr. Muller pulled a stack of paper off his desk and began passing them out to his students.

"What are these?" Someone asked.

"These are notices that you need to give you parents for parent-teacher conferences," Mr. Muller explained patiently. "Have your parents fill out the bottom of the form and bring it back to me by Friday. You won't," the bell rang and immediately every child leapt to his or her feet in a mass stampeding for the door. Mr. Muller had an odd idea that he knew what Mufasa had felt like while being trampled by the wildebeests.

Erik was skipping home from school happily, humming a song. He unlatched the gate and bounded up to his door. "Hi, mother!" He greeted turning off his image inducer and leaping into a chair at the kitchen table.

"What have I told you about leaping in the house?" Betsy asked her son.

"But you let Dad do it," Erik pointed out grabbing at the cookies set on a plate in front of him.

"That's because your father has very bad manners," Betsy told her son, setting a glass of chocolate milk in front of her son.

"I do not," Kurt objected.

"Yes you do." Betsy retorted. "What are you doing?" She asked her older son who was bending over backwards in an attempt to open his backpack.

"There's a note in here somewhere."

"About what?" Betsy asked.

"I don't remember that's why I'm giving it to you."

"Ah. Smart move."

"Found it!" He said, waving it proudly. Betsy pulled it from her son's hands and read it over quickly.

"What does it say?" Kurt asked.

"Teacher wants to talk with us."

"Why?" Kurt prodded glancing over at his son who was happily shoving cookies in his face.

"Well it doesn't look like anything too serious." Betsy said, managing to rescue an untouched cookie from her Hoover of a son and placing it on the highchair in front of Derek.

Derek began to gum at the cookie viciously. "I can't wait til you get teeth," Betsy muttered.

"I think he's already starting to get his fangs," Kurt said beginning to wiggle his finger towards Derek's mouth.

Derek bit down on his father's hand. "Ow!" Kurt. "I am not the cookie! Cookies are not blue!"

"Some of them are." Betsy pointed out.

"Don't give the kid ideas!"

Derek giggled evilly, a sound that sounded thoroughly disturbing coming from a one year old, and began to bat his no-turn no-spill cup around the high chair table.

"He takes after you," Kurt told Betsy.

Betsy rolled her eyes. "Sure, honey."

Mr. Muller surveyed the couple before him. Erik's mother was Asian looking and had very long, very purple hair. The man was more normal looking and had petite elfish features that Erik obviously took after.

"Uhm, Mr. and Mrs. Wagner," he smiled.

"Hello," Kurt greeted smiling.

Mr. Muller gave them a basic over view of Erik's general school abilities. He was doing well in all his subjects and then he started on a list of Erik's misdemeanors. The list took fifteen minutes to go through. The entire time Betsy kept shooting slightly evil glances at Kurt.

"Mr. and Mrs. Wagner, I also have a very important question . . . does you son have an extra appendage?"

"Extra appendage?" Betsy echoed distantly, glancing concernedly at Kurt.

Kurt puffed himself up with righteous indignation. "An appendage? Our child? Of course not!"

Mr. Muller didn't see where the 'of course' came from. He hadn't seen an odder couple in his life and if there was anyone in the world whose child was likely to have a tail, Mr. Gregory Simon Muller hadn't had the pleasure of meeting them yet. He licked his lips and tried to think of anything else to say.

"Well, I wouldn't think that he actually did, but I just thought that I should bring it to your attention," he said carefully, not wanting to anger either of them.

Both of them became slightly less menacing. Betsy even went so far as to smile at Mr. Muller. "It's an honest mistake. Erik gets it from his father," she patted her husband on the head. "And now we have to be going."

"Good-bye," he replied as Betsy grabbed Kurt's arm and dragged him from the room. The door swung shut behind them although neither of them touched it.

Mr. Muller shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "I need a vacation although medication sounds pretty good too, some strong medication."