Discalimer: I do not own (A heck of a lotta) words, (Some) characters, (some of the) inanimate objects, etc.. The title came from the title of a chapter from Kare Kano (His & Her Circumstances). Many of the characters belong to Mrs. JK Rowling, but their very odd characteristics come from my sick mind ;)
Author's Note: Well, I honestly have nothing to do this summer so, trust me on this, I will most likely be updating this story. Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye! If I do not update this regularly (not counting my family vacations), then I HAVE COOTIES! Enjoy
--Chapter 1: Do a Little Dance—
"Mother, why do I have to do this?" 17 year old James Potter groaned as he fell to the ground, out of breath.
"You are Head Boy, James," Cathlyn Potter sighed as she helped her only son up. "Trust me, Professor Dumbledore will ask you as well as the Head Girl what you want to do for a holiday, and when he asks you, immediately say you want a dance!"
"But I don't want a dance," James said reaching for his already half empty water bottle. "Why do you want me to have one, anyways? You won't be there to enjoy it!"
"James, are you so dense as to not have figured it out?" The blank expression from her son caused her to shake her head, muttering, "The son I have," under her breath. "You want a dance so it can show how lavishly your father and I have brought you. Also, maybe you will be forced to find a date…I'm just hoping whoever you choose, you find to be a nice girl to spend your life with."
James frowned at her, "Fine, I'll ask for a dance. But, I can dance like any other normal teenager, so what's the point in this torture?"
"Are you 'aving troubles?" Natalia, James' Dance instructor Cathlyn hired walked up to them. She took a very deep and disgusting inhale which made the sound similar to an octopus falling from the sky into wet cement. James cringed as she started shaking a bit from excitement, "Then you must CHA CHA YOUR TROUBLES OUT!" She slapped the water bottle to the ground and grabbed him, in a forceful way.
Mrs. Potter looked at her son dance against his will, a little frightened of his teacher. She giggled to herself.
"LILLIAN MARIE EVANS!" Nicholas Evans yelled at the top of his lungs. Lily hesitated before walking downstairs. She, like many other people, knew that if your parents yell your full name, it means trouble. Careful not to increase his anger, she took very child-like steps into the kitchen.
"Yes, Daddy?" She murmured in a small voice. Immediately, the furious creases in his face softened. He forced smile.
"I'm sorry if I scared you, dear," he said in a very comforting tone ('Works every time,' Lily thought). "There's an owl here so I tried to get your note, but it scratched me. Don't worry, I'm fine now. Go get your letter. It's sitting on Petunia's breakfast"
Lily walked to the owl and untied the envelope from its leg. "It's my Hogwarts letter," she said aloud as the owl flew out of the window. As she tore off the side of the envelope a golden badge fell out, landing on her sister's now-ruined pancakes. She dropped the letter and picked up the badge.
"What's that?" Nicholas asked.
"I MADE HEAD GIRL!" Lily yelled. She turned around and jumped into her father's opened arms.
"That's my girl," Nicholas said. "You were always one to academically beat the rest of the student-"
He was cut off by the yell of his other daughter. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BREAKFAST!"
"James?" Sirius asked as he wandered towards the cause of the very loud music. He then saw Mrs. Potter smiling at her son's feeble attempts to dance. Sirius grinned evilly. "James, I'm ever so disappointed with you!"
"Eh?" James asked as he turned to face his best friend. Noticing the glint in Sirius's eyes that usually came before embarrassing someone, he started shaking his head fiercely mouthing the words, 'don't do it.'
Sirius ignored him. "James," he said again making his way to his best friend. "When you dance, you need a better posture," he fingered James's back causing him to stand up straight, "and you need to use more of this," James jumped up a bit as his best friend slapped him in the arse.
"SIRIUS, YOU—" But Sirius was already away, tangoing with Natalia.
"You have a very light step," She complimented. "It is very," She took another deep inhale, trembling because of it. "Nice," she said breathily. Sirius winced.
"Err…James is the one that's supposed to be learning to dance," Sirius muttered as he released himself of Natalia's grip. He grabbed his friend and started tangoing. "Oy, James," Sirius grinned again. "Do you want to find out why this is called," he mimicked Natalia's inhale, "the forbidden dance?"
"Merlin help me," James sighed.
Soon the Marauders reunited in Diagon alley to get their school supplies. To James's despair, Sirius had explained to Peter and Remus about his dancing lessons.
"So Prongs," Remus patted his friend on the back, "Was your teacher hot at least?"
"She was okay looking," he admitted. "But she was too weird. You should have seen her breathe…"
"What kind of dances did she teach you?" Peter asked.
"What kind of dances didn't she teach me would be the better question," James muttered. They had be on this discussion for the past 20 minutes as they waited in line to get into Flourish and Blotts. "I swear," James said before anyone else could ask a question, "These first years are multiplying like crazy!"
"Don't change the subject," Sirius said in a firm tone. "Just for that, you have to dance for us." He started clapping for a beat James could dance to. "Go ahead. DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!" When Sirius started pelvic thrusting to the beat he was clapping, James looked around for a sign for help hen suddenly he heard some familiar laughter.
Lily was walking around Diagon Alley with her family, trying to get her things as fast as possible so Petunia would stop complaining.
"Why'd you bring her?" she whispered to her mother.
Jenny Evans forced a smile as she looked down at her younger daughter. "We needed to make sure she wouldn't be left alone in that house. You know how she is when she gets a new boyfriend… I don't trust the new boyfriend either. Quite large, wouldn't you say?" Lily nodded, "I'm afraid he'll eat the good china."
This taking Lily by complete surprise, she started laughing…loud.
"Shut up, you freak!" Petunia yelled. "And hurry up; I want to get out of here!"
Lily did stop laughing, but now she was trying to find a way to do the exact opposite of what Petunia wanted. If only she could find some way to stall her from continuing getting her school supplies. Just then a small pebble hit her ankle. Looking in the direction it came she saw James Potter with a look on his face that might have meant, 'Help me.'
"Oh, Flourish and Blotts!" Lily said cheerfully.
"We were just there!" Petunia screeched. "Dad's carrying your books right now!"
"Mommy, Daddy, Can I talk to a few of my friends waiting in line to get in?" Lily asked in her small voice. She did her specialty: the puppy dog look, as she said, almost identical to that of a 5 year old's, "pleeeeeease?"
"Oh alright," Nicholas said. "We'll be waiting right here."
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"
"Thank you!" She called over her shoulder as she skipped over to James and the others.
"Hey Lily," Remus greeted, "Sirius is trying to make James dance."
"Really? He looks like he's having a good time dancing by himself," She noted as Sirius grabbed the guy in front of him.
"Dance with me," He said breathily and took a deep and disgusting inhale.
"Well," Peter chimed in, "he's only doing this because James took D-"
"HEY LILY," James interrupted, elbowing his friend in the ribs. "Guess what!"
"What?" She asked curiously.
"OH BABY, YOU'RE GOOD!" Sirius screamed as his new friend did donkey kicks in the streets. Petunia was standing next to him, horrified.
"I made Head Boy!" He said. Just then he started dancing along with Sirius. "Oh man, I hope the Head Girl's cute."
Lily watched him dance in amusement. "I'd say she is."
"OOH HO HO!" Sirius and James said immediately stopping their clapping and dancing. The boy in the streets, on the other hand, had started his own conga line. "GIRL ON GIRL ACTION!" The two boys yelled in unison.
"Doesn't it scare you how alike you 2 are?" Peter asked. His question was ignored.
"No, I'm not dating the Head Girl," Lily laughed. "Are you 2 so dense as to not have figured it out?" Sirius gave her a blank expression. James was horrified as to how close she sounded to his mother. "I'm the head girl, you 'tards!" she laughed.
"BOOYAH!" James roared as he got over his fear. He threw his fist into the air in triumph. "I was afraid the girl I was working with would be ugly!"
"I'm not sure whether to congratulate you on making Head Boy or to thank you for pretty much stating I'm not an uggo," Lily said as James and Sirius began pelvic thrusting the air once more.
"Just don't do anything," Remus muttered. "Works for me all the time!"
"LILY, HURRY YOUR ASS UP!" They all heard.
"HEY PETUNIA!" Lily yelled, turning around. "GROW ONE!" Her expression softened as she turned to back to the guys. "Sorry, I need to go right now."
"It's okay," James said surprised at her sudden mood change. "You wouldn't want to make your sister wait."
"LILY, YOU STUPID TURD! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR FREAKIN' BOYFRIEND AND LET'S GET GOING!" Petunia was pointing at James causing him to turn a shade of pink from embarrassment. Lily, on the other hand was red from anger.
"I'M TRYING TO SAY GOODBYE, BUT IF YOU WON'T SHUT UP, MAYBE I'll JUST STAY HERE FOR AN HOUR MORE!" She screamed.
"DON'T YOU DARE! I WILL WALK OVER THERE AND KILL YOU!"
Lily turned back to James, "Sorry about her." She knelt down and started taking untying one of her shoelaces."
"Err…It's, uh, okay," He said a bit flustered.
"I'd better get going. See you at school!" She took off her shoe and through it at her sister, hitting her square in the stomach. "HEY SHIT-CAKES! I'M DONE!"
"Sibling love," Remus said while the rest of his friends were at loss of words as Lily walked away. "Come on, the line's moving."
--End Chapter 1—
A/N: Okay, okay, so this first chappie was kinda……crappay, shall I say? XD It'll get better, honestly. I always though I wrote better when they were at school… ;) Review, NO FLAMES PLEASE!