"? Montague"

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and elements from the Harry Potter series belong to J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Jewel Insert Witty Name and danger.angel made me write this. All I wanted to do was write something to celebrate the new Angelina/Montague livejournal community.

Angelina smiled as she imagined introducing Montague to her parents. They were sure to approve; they'd never liked Fred. Montague was a paragon of maturity and responsibility compared to Fred.

Mom, Dad, this is…

Angelina frowned. What was Montague's first name? Surely she knew it. She had to know her own boyfriend's name. She'd just forgotten because she was used to calling him by his surname.

Since N.E.W.T.s had already been written, the teachers no longer gave lessons. Most of them allowed the students to talk quietly in groups during class time. That was good for Angelina, because she couldn't concentrate on anything other than trying to remember Montague's name.

She couldn't even remember the first letter of his name. Damn it. She called him Montague out of habit and because it sounded sexy. Okay, even if I've never used his first name, I must have heard it. She'd been attending classes with him for seven years, and it wasn't like he was the quiet Ravenclaw girl who always sat at the back of the room and never spoke. He was a rival Quidditch player and then a rival Captain, so she had paid attention to him over the years. She had to have heard his name at some point in time.

"Ouch!" Angelina glared at Alicia, who had just pinched her.

"You were lost in your own world," Alicia said, without a hint of apology.

Angelina rubbed her arm. "I was thinking."

"What could be more important than listening to your best friend bemoan her career options?"

Trying to remember my boyfriend's name. If she asked Alicia for help, Alicia would never let her forget it for as long as they both lived. As if the Powers That Be were on her side, Alicia provided her with the perfect opening.

"You were thinking about him, weren't you? Montague?" Alicia's tone was accusatory and she wore the suffering look common to all best friends who'd been ignored for a new boyfriend.

"Try to be friendly. Say his name," Angelina said, pretending to be irritated.

Alicia's brow wrinkled. "You know, I don't think I even know what his first name is."

Angelina panicked. Now Alicia would expect her to tell her what Montague's name was. She grasped for something to distract her. "Miles Bletchley likes you," she blurted out.

"Huh. Well, he should have thought about that before he hexed me," Alicia said.

Angelina breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

Later that day, Angelina tried to think of a casual way to ask her other best friend what her boyfriend's name was. With the end of the school year so near, the Great Hall was exceptionally noisy – not very conductive to thinking. So she decided on the simple truth. When Alicia's attention focused on something Lee was telling her, Angelina turned to Katie. "What's Montague's first name?"

Katie leaned closer. "What? I didn't hear you."

The moment was lost. Alicia's attention was back on her. Alicia had been her best friend since First Year. They lived together for ten months out of the year. Angelina considered Alicia to be the sister she didn't have. She missed her terribly during the summers. Never before had she realized that it was impossible to be free of Alicia at Hogwarts.

Well, to be free of Alicia but not Katie.

By dinner the next day, Angelina had given up trying to ask Katie in private. And she still hadn't remembered on her own. In desperation, she said, "Montague wants to name our son after him. If we ever have one. Together."

Alicia and Katie stopped walking. Then they started laughing.

"You and Montague talking children already?" Katie said, in between fits of giggles.

"There isn't a specific reason for this discussion, is there?" Alicia asked, staring pointedly at Angelina's stomach.

"No!" Angelina snapped. "I just wanted to know how the name sounds to you."

Katie stopped laughing and frowned thoughtfully. "What is Montague's first name, anyway?"

Angelina sacrificed Alicia without a second thought. "Did I tell you that Miles Bletchley is burning with lust for our little Alicia?" she said to Katie.

"No way!" Katie squealed, and began teasing Alicia.

Angelina finally tried to find out what Montague's name was from Montague himself. They met for their customary Wednesday evening snogging session in the Gryffindor locker room. Angelina tried to concentrate on her problem. She turned her head away when Montague tried to kiss her. "I've been thinking about your name," she said.

"My name? What about it?" Montague seemed more interested in nibbling on her neck than her answer.

Angelina pried his busy hands off her body. "I was thinking about how to introduce you when you meet my parents at Leaving ceremony."

"By my name, obviously," he said. "I doubt they'd take too kindly to being introduced to 'my incredibly handsome, brilliant lover, who's an excellent Quidditch player, and well endowed too.'"

Angelina laughed. "You've got a very inflated opinion of yourself."

"Very inflated," Montague said, pressing himself against her.

Angelina pushed him away. "I'm serious. Do you have a nickname you'd prefer?"

"No, no nicknames."

"Then what do you want them to call you?"

Montague was many things, but slow was not one of them. He narrowed his eyes and stared at her. "You don't know my name," he stated flatly.

"No! Of course I know your name!" Angelina protested.

Montague crossed his arms over his chest. "What is it?"

"Er, um…Fine! I've forgotten your first name, okay! I'm sorry. Now, what is your name?"

"I'm not telling you," Montague replied sulkily. "What kind of a girlfriend are you? Hell, what kind of a Quidditch Captain are you, not even knowing the name of your rivals."

"I said I'm sorry! What is your damn name?"

"You'll have to find out on your own." He stormed out of the room.

Angelina began her inquiry the following morning. She accosted a Slytherin first or second student and asked him what Montague's name was.

"I don't know," the terrified boy squeaked.

Montague was the Slytherin Quidditch Captain. House pride dictated that even students who weren't normally interested in Quidditch know who he was.

Angelina scoffed. "You expect me to believe that? Now, what is it?"

The boy took a few steps backward, away from her. "He told me not to tell you. He told the whole house last night."

Angelina sighed as she watched the boy run down the corridor. Damn Montague.

During Charms class, she sat next to Pucey, another Seventh Year Slytherin Chaser. "Look," she said, without preamble, "What's his bloody name?"

Pucey smirked at her. "Don't expect me to help you. I've been telling Montague he'd be better off with a nice Slytherin girl all along."

Angelina tried to remember his first name. Adrian, that's it. "Adrian, please. I don't want to break up with him over something this stupid."

Pucey arched his eyebrows. "You call not knowing your boyfriend's name stupid? I always knew Gryffindors were touched in the head."

Angelina glared at him and moved to sit near Alicia without retorting.

She hurried to the Great Hall as soon as class ended and stationed herself at the door. As soon as Montague walked by, she grabbed him by the front of his robes and pulled him a few yards away. "I love you. I don't want to play games. Just tell me."

Montague smiled. "Well, I do want to play games. You'll have to guess."

"You want me to try to guess your name?"

"Exactly."

"Don't be childish."

"May I remind you that I have a right to be angry and I'm being quite nice by forgiving you so easily."

"Fine." Angelina gritted her teeth. "John? Mark? Paul?"

"No, no, and no."

"Is it a more traditional wizarding name?"

"Couldn't say."

"Wilbert? Mordicus? Thadeus?"

"None of those. Listen, I'm hungry. We'll continue this in Transfiguration." He kissed her on the cheek and strode away.

Angelina barely ate lunch. She was too busy compiling a list of names. When Katie asked her what she was doing, she replied without thinking. "Making a list of possible names for my future son."

Alicia looked at her suspiciously. "Are you sure you're not pregnant?"

"No! Now help me."

The three of them spent their free period in the library, flipping through books for male names they hadn't thought of yet. It was a fun game for Katie and Alicia, who started their own lists of possible names for their future children.

Later, during Double Transfiguration, Angelina recited the list to Montague. By the twentieth name, he no longer bothered to say "no." He just sat there with an amused look on his face. Angelina resisted the urge to roll up the sheet of parchment and hit him over his head with it.

Finally, her voice hoarse, Angelina snapped, "Is your damn name Rumpelstiltskin?"

Montague laughed loudly enough to draw Professor McGonagall's attention, even over the noise of the other students. The entire class turned to look at them. Though she was far from shy, Angelina felt herself blush.

When their classmates' attention had left them, Angelina leaned close to Montague. "I'm done playing this game. I'll put this in terms you'll understand: you aren't getting any until you tell me your name."

Montague's lips brushed her ear. "I don't have one."

"Stop joking."

"I'm serious. I do not have a first name."

"That's not possible. Everyone has a first name."

"I don't."

"I don't believe you. What do your parents call you? It'd be pretty confusing to have only one name. If your mother called you, the entire family would come."

"Montague isn't my parents' name. My mother's name is Olivia Monticello and my father's name is Nathaniel Adanague. They're both the last of their bloodlines - ancient wizarding bloodlines. Neither wanted to lose their family names, and a hyphenated name would be tiresome after one generation, so they combined their names for me."

"Good one, but I'm not falling for it."

Montague reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open to his Apparation license. There really was only one name printed next to NAME; LAST, FIRST.

"Mom, Dad, this is Montague," Angelina said weakly.

"There, there." Montague patted her hand. "I'm sure they'll just be glad my name isn't Weasley."

Angelina had to agree with him. "But you know that this means I was right all along. I didn't forget it because there was nothing to forget. I'm going to make you pay for tormenting me with that list of names."

"Oh yeah? How?"

Angelina whispered her plan in his ear.

Montague didn't look the least bit dismayed. In fact he looked eager. She'd need to think of a better punishment.

End