AN ate my author notes. They're at the bottom. So yeah. Epilogue:
I sighed contently and leaned closer to Heero, who wrapped a strong arm around me. The desert night sky was a star splattered canvas and was free of clouds. A cool breeze blew by, gently flicking my hair around my face. The desert wasn't in a sadistic mood tonight and instead enjoyed watching me and Heero sit together. The stars laughed quietly, their ringing giggles trilling somewhere in the background. I raised my eyes to the heavens, thanking what ever deity had blessed me with such good fortune. I loved someone, and that someone loved me back. It was amazing. I turned my head to look at his face, his smooth skin bathed in the moonlight. He looked back down at me a warm expression and it took every bit of will power I had not to scream with happiness. I didn't want to ruin the quiet moment we were sharing together.
A month after we had gotten together, things were indescribable. We were never apart and I couldn't bear to be away from Heero for more than an hour. I followed him constantly, hanging off his frame with my arms draped around his shoulders or my fingers entwined with his. I would follow him into the bathroom if I could, but Heero blushed and swatted me away when I tried.
But it was so much deeper than just hanging around each other. The feeling of inner peace that filled my entire being was astounding and I'm sure that I can be forgiven for wanting to feel it at all times. It was kind of pathetic really, how much I depended on Heero. I realized at the beginning of our relationship, how helpless I felt when he wasn't around. How I felt that I was missing out on the pleasures of life. Even just looking at him while he worked made me happy and looking at his empty chair made me feel almost suicidal. The feelings that I had buried away, not wanting to love anyone since that incident on L2, were now open and raw. I was like a needy pet or animal, desperate for affection and the knowledge that he was still with me.
But if it was hurting me, think about what it was doing to Heero.
It took him a while to adjust to the new environment. He had asked me to teach him how to love and how to be loved back and I never went back on the promise. I was endlessly in some sort of body contact with him, trying to make him comfortable with me, with my affection. When we read together, I would have an arm wrapped around his shoulders. When we ate at dinner, I would punch him lightly, tap him on the shoulder, slap his back to let him know that I was there, that I hadn't run out of love. We haven't actually been on a formal date yet, but there will always be time for that. As soon as he's okay with me glomping him in public.
Don't think that the guys didn't notice. They were overjoyed when we finally told them. Well, Quatre was anyhow. He beamed at us with a huge smile stretching his face and saying that he knew that we would end up together some how. Trowa seemed indifferent, but I know a happy little gleam in the eye when I see one. I get them all the time from the master of poker faces. Wufei 'approved' of our relationship. He was happy and content enough, although he did threaten Hee-chan that if he ever cheated on me, he would end up with a sword sticking out of his ass. Heero threatened him back that if Wufei even dared to consider for a moment that he would ever cheat on me, then he would have yet another hole in his head. (The first from trying to shove the sword up his backside.) I had stared at both of them and cracked up laughing.
My heart is still raw from the amount of feelings that I am still trying to sort out. But it's still beating.
"Duo," Heero said quietly, jolting me back to pleasant, pleasant reality. He slipped my braid through his fingers, stroking it with his thumb.
"Yes?" I replied, tilting my head back. How anyone could keep his eyes of him, I will never understand. I was prepared to be hated by the whole of humanity for being the partner of such a perfect person.
He smiled and bent down, pressing his lips gently to mine. I arched my back, my hands searching for his. It was moments like these that my heart threatened to burst with what I felt. It was the quiet, solitary shows of affection that I loved. His tiny displays made me more giddy and happy than ever, though I had to be careful not to miss then. A quick squeeze of my hand, a brush on my face or him playing with my hair when he thought that I was asleep was all I needed.
Mush, I know. Absolute mush, sap and fluff. Do I care? No, not really.
His kiss, however, was not quiet. The chaste breath of a kiss suddenly turned raw and needy. His hands left mine and instead cupped my cheeks. I had to force myself not to grin into that kiss. Suddenly, I found myself with my back to the sand and Heero above me, his arms supporting his body.
"Aw," I said, looking at him with a pout. "Sand's in my hair again."
He laughed. I can't count the amount of times I've heard him laugh. But it is a beautiful sound. More so than Quatre and Trowa's duet. My insides just light up every time I hear him.
The moon was right behind Heero's head, giving him a sort of etheral halo. 'Perfect,' I though, reaching upwards to brush his cheek. 'My perfect soldier.' Heero closed his eyes and moved downwards until he was rubbing his forehead on mine. He really is just like a really big cat. I giggled at the thought. A big Heero-neko with paws and ears. Sweet.
"What is it?" he asked, most probably wondering what I found so funny. God, I almost groaned at the sound of his low, rumbling voice. He was completely resting his full body weight on me now, nose to nose, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip.
"Nothing," I breathed, and wrapped my arms around his torso. I kissed his lips, a small butterfly kiss. The edges of his mouth tilted upwards and he copied me. The kisses were sweet and sugary. And something much more mature. He kissed me again. And again. And again.
"Um," I said, reluctantly batting him away. "We should-" kiss. "We should probably-" kiss. "Stop." kiss. "Hee-" kiss. He wouldn't let me move away. Gods, who knew stopping would be so hard? Finally, he moved off me and immediately, I missed his warm, comforting weight. I gasped out loud, getting my breath back. I blinked rapidly, trying to get my eyes to refocus. Heero must have noticed the spaced out look I had on my face because he laughed again and said, "Well you said that we should stop."
Sneaky bastard.
Instead of answering, I shifted so that my head lay on his lap. He immediately began to play with my bangs and I hummed with pleasure as his hands ran through the locks. It was so warm, even though it was night time in the desert and it's supposed to be freezing. Must be Heero.
"Duo," Heero said suddenly. "Promise me something."
"Hmm?" I mumbled absentmindedly, nearly falling asleep. "What?"
"I'm not going to ask you not to leave me, because if you do, then it would be my fault. I'm not going to ask you to love me forever because that's...that might change in the future. But..."
I looked up at him. I couldn't think of what to say.
"But, Duo. Be honest with me. Always. Don't hide things from me. Please."
I laughed, a gentle laugh, and clasped his hands in mine and pressed them to my chest. "Do you feel that?" I said, closing my eyes. His fingers were warm and there was a slight tremble.
"Yes."
He was fascinated with the living, pulse that throbbed beneath his hand and his fingers trembled slightly.
"That, Heero, is my heart beating. It is my heart and you Heero, and only you, are a part of it. Even if we are separate, just remember that somewhere, somewhere out there, my heart is beating." I moved his hand from my chest to my lips. "Just remember the sound," I murmured. "Of my heart beating."
He smiled.
"And I'll remember yours," I finished quitely, and I raised our clasped hands to the star speckled heavens in a gesture of silent gratitude.
AN Finished. Over. No more. That's it. Wow. I really had fun writing this. I didn't need to think too hard about it. Special thanks to Kira May Maxwell, ffpanda, Serenity Maxwell and Keiichisei because they are my special reviewersFor more 1x2 smush, start reading Home is where the milk is.Go. Now.