Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, and more unfortunately, I'm not making any money out of this, either.

Author's Note: I just thought it would be a challenge to do an all-dialogue fanfic between 2 people. And I set this challenge to anyone who cares to take it. Write an all-dialogue fanfic between two people. It must be humorous, contain at least 500 words, and not go against the Half-Blood Prince too much.

Lucius and the Hairstyle

"How much longer?"

"It'll take less time if you stopped talking, dear."

"Why would it take less time, Cissy?"

"Because your head moves when you talk, dear."

"But-"

"Stop talking dear."

…

"When can I see what it looks like?"

"When it's done dear."

"Why does it take so much time?"

"So it doesn't look like sh- … balderdash, dear."

"Do you do this with Draco?"

"No dear."

"Why not?"

"Because he is a hyperactive child, and cannot sit still, dear."

"I'm hyperactive as well."
"Yes, but I can use Unforgivable Curses on you, dear."

…

"You could use them on Draco as well."

"USE AN UNFORGIVABLE CURSE ON MY SON? Dear."

"Oh, so you can use one on your husband, but not on your son?"

"I'm so glad you understand, dear."

…

"You do realise it's unforgivable, don't you?"

"So I assumed, dear."

"And you do realise I wouldn't forgive you, don't you?"

"I'm sure I'd live, dear."

"And I wouldn't hold your hands when you're scared of the dark."

"I'm not scared of the dark, dear. You just use it as an excuse to hold my hands."

"…well, I still won't hold them."

"If you say so, dear."

"I won't do anything else either…in the night, if you know what I mean."

"Don't talk of such things in broad daylight, dear!"

"It's the evening."

"Somebody might still be able to hear you, dear."

"Draco's in Hogwarts."

"Stop talking, dear."

…

"I would bet all my priceless heirlooms that you wouldn't put Draco through this."

"Of course, dea- … what do you mean by 'put through this'?"

"Oh, I mean, just that – well, I mean –"

"You mean WHAT, Lucius, pray tell? Mean that this isn't something nice or a kind gesture but something near akin a CURSE?"

"Dear."

"DON'T DEAR ME, YOU FOOLISH BLOND MAN! And…and, do your OWN hair."

…

"I'm very sorry, Cissy."

…

"It's ok."

…

"Will you please do my hair again?"

"…if you buy me something very expensive at the end, dear."

"Of course I will."

"And if you hold my hands in the party, even when it isn't dark, dear."

"More than happy to do that, Cissy. In fact, I would say I'm decidedly ecstatic to do so."

"Well, sit still then. Move your head….there, that's perfect, dear."

"Sounds like many of our nights."

"Shush, dear!"

…

"The boy hasn't hooked up with the girl yet."

"Oh? Which one of your novellas is this, dear?"

"No. Not a novella. And I don't watch novellas."

"Of course not, dear."

"Don't tell ANYONE that I watch novellas."

"Ok, dear."

…

"I was referring to Draco and the Parkinson chit."

"Chit, dear? Surely that phrase is a little…old?"

"You said pray tell."

"It's still commonly used in books, dear."

"Old muggle books."

"And 'chit' is used by Wizards, dear?"

"Well, the phrase was originally coined by Wizards, until the useless Muggles stole it."

"Oh, of course, dear. I remember Binns teaching us all about it."

"Sarcasm is not attractive, Cissy."

"Then I presume you are sarcasm personified, dear."

"Funny. Very funny."

"I prefer to think of it as witty, dear."

…

"Why hasn't that boy done…anything with the girl?"

"He has done things with the girl. I hear they work together on Potions and Charms."

"No, I mean…things…like…you know…things that are…things..."

"What things, dear?"

"You are loving every moment of this, aren't you?"

"Very much, dear."

"But why hasn't something happened yet?"

"He hasn't even turned 14 yet, dear. Do you want to be a granddaddy so soon, dear?"

"If it'll give me a lot more alone time with my beautiful wife…"

"Shush, dear."

"Something I said?"

…

"All done, dear! You may see it now."

"Cissy…wow…my hair is…curly..."

"Not curly, dear. I prefer to think of it as full of curls."

"Oh, the subtlety makes all the difference. When was this hairstyle popular, Cissy."

"Oh…erm…the 19th, dear."

"19th of March? Why, that's not so long ago then."

"Oh, no. It's a…little older than that, dear."

"17th of February? That's about two months ago, so cutting it fine, but it'll do."

"Erm…no, it is more along the lines of…the 19th Century…dear."

"The 19th…century? Oh…oh…oh, I suppose…that's still all right."

"And you look so charming in the hairstyle, dear."

"Well, that is true."

"And most people couldn't pull it off, dear."

"Hmm…are you sure the other DeathEaters won't make fun of me, though?"

"If they try to, I will not only tell their mothers but I'll also put an Ear-Boxing Hex on them. Dear."

"Well…do I get a 'prize' for being such a good boy and sitting still?"

"You weren't sitting still though, dear. But…you were a good boy. Here's a kiss."

…

"That's a kiss? Thank god you remembered to put the No-Movement Hair-Gel on my hair. What 'prize' do I get tonight?"

"-"

"Cissy! Dark Lord's Bald Head, I'm not surprised you whispered that! Now give me your hand, darling, and let us go to the Death Eaters Annual April Ball."

Fini