It could be said that Montgomery-Threepgood was having a bit of a panic. He had just returned from the Dungeons for celebrations to find his entire Quidditch team had been affected by some sort of love potion, and who at one careless sentence from him had gone rushing off naked into Hogwarts grounds, presumably because they thought they fancied a bit of arrogant pig-headed Gryffindor cock.
Once he had found his bearings again after having his head knocked against the wall, he turned and barrelled after his team, partly helped by the trail of soapy bubbles they had left behind.
His worst fears were soon confirmed – they were indeed going around the block toward the Gryffindor shower rooms… Montgomery-Threepgood put on a burst of speed - they would surely be hexed to smithereens!
He turned the corner and near skidded into the entrance of the changing rooms, out of breath and flustered, to be greeted by the visual of Beezley sticking his tongue right down James Potter's throat, and his hand right down…well…right down where his underpants would be - if he were wearing any underpants. And what was worse in Threepgood's opinion – Potter looked ecstatic about it.
Oh by Salazar's Memory – not the Gyffindors too…This had to be the Ravenclaws' doing.
Just then a sudden movement to the right caught Montgomery-Threepgood's attention, and it caused his eyes to snap wide open with shock.
"Tiberius Yaxley! I…I…P-Put that boy down at once!"
There was a hoarse groan, and Yaxley frowned and wiped the dribble from his mouth. "Aw…Max…stop spoiling my bloody fun! I wouldn't have had to do this if you hadn't refused me, you know…and this is no boy – it's Pettigrew – he's just a bit short for his age, you know?"
The short-for-his-age teenager aimed a sweet watery-eyed grin at the Slytherin Team Captain
Maximus made a series of garbled spluttering noises, but was then distracted by a rather loud and excited groan coming from the showers. He turned, slowly, a look of dread upon his face.
Regulus Black's brother…and…a long-haired girl…? Who in carnation was that? He couldn't quite make them out behind the wall of water…but they were standing very stiffly indeed.
Then Sirius Black moved closer again, his hand groping down low, his head tilting to the side for a moment as he kissed the girl, and for a brief moment the water flow was redirected and a snapshot of the other's face was revealed to him. Maximus froze with shock.
No girl…Oh…Merlin…he had just been wondering where their team Sub had got to…
His fist clenched. This was just too much! With a low growl Maximus strode forward, drew his wand and sent a hex straight at the offending Gryffindor. It hit Black on the forearm and he flew backwards with a yelp onto the floor. Maximus took this opportunity to send an unfreezing charm in Snape's direction, and had another one ready to tackle Black if he flew at him.
But he didn't. In fact Black didn't appear to mind he'd been hexed at all…he was still too transfixed by…
"Severus Snape – move yourself out of the showers at once!" Barked Mongomery-Threepgood.
No response.
"Snape!"
Severus Snape took a step forward, but it wasn't in his Team Captain's direction.
A dry leer spread across Snape's face. "Tell me Black, seeing as you have the lovemaking skill of an animal, I was wondering if your dear friend Lupin has been teaching you anything on those moonlit nights down in the grounds? "
"Funny that," growled back Sirius, his eyes never leaving the other boy's face for a moment. "I was going to ask you the same sort of question about you, Lucius, and those stains on the Potions desks…"
The sneer grew on Snape's face. "I had no idea you were so interested in stains, Black," he purred. "It's a great pity I haven't got my wand to hand, or else I could have taught you a bit more about them…"
Black was getting slightly flushed. "Animals and stains, eh?" he growled back. "You filthy-minded little bastard…"
Snape smirked. "Indeed I am. Better than being an arrogant, pig-headed Slytherin cast-off."
"Well," snorted Black. "That's better anyday than being a greasy, hook-nosed scummy little perv!"
"Do you really think so; Bubotuber-for-Brains Black?"
"Yes I do! Wankstain!"
"Dunderhead!"
"Arsewipe!"
"Prick!"
Montgomery-Threepgood watched the verbal sparring contest with a gawping mouth. Should he interfere and risk having the boy's attentions transferred to him, or…?
There was a thud and a loud OOF! And Sirius Black suddenly found himself sprawled on the shower floor with a dripping wet male body on top of him. The two boys looked at each other sneering ferally, before Black got hold of Snape's hair and dragged him down into a rough man-kiss.
Montgomery Threepgood was not the fainting sort, but he could swear he felt a slight light-headedness coming on…
A/N: Sorry about the delay guys, been on holiday! Thanks loads for the reviews! There will be about 1 or 2 chapters more - please review or leave comments - it'll only encourage me more! ;o)