A/N: Okay, this story started out with what I thought was a pretty good idea, this is the first story I've ever actually had an outline for, but it's ended up being a major pain. I'm afraid bits of it are terribly weak, but it's been the focus of most of my energy for the summer so please give it a shot! I know the beginning may seem a little un-Lily like, but just bear with me for a moment, it does get better. Besides, most people would feel the same if they were getting dumped . . . even if you don't actually "love" the person as much as you've made yourself believe you do.

Additional Note: This story was originally written before HBP. The only thing I have changed since reading the newest Harry Potter installment is the name of the Potions teacher.

Dedication: Lyss, this one is going out to you. Thanks for keeping me sane with your e-mails that week that I was home alone, and thanks for the endless discussions on HBP. I don't know how I would've survived these past two weeks without you to talk to!

XxX

"I don't understand, what do you mean it's 'not working out'?"

"I mean we can't do this anymore Lily. I can't be your boyfriend."

"How is it that you could be my boyfriend for two years and then suddenly decide that it's not going to work out?" Her voice was beginning to rise.

"Lily, it was fun while it lasted but you can't honestly have thought that we would stay together after Hogwarts." By the look on her face he realized that was exactly what she'd been thinking.

"But I-I loved you," she whispered desperately.

His face blanched, "I'm sorry Lily but I-I don't feel the same way. It's over." Amos Diggory turned on his heel leaving Lily Evans alone, staring blankly at the floor as tears trickled down her cheeks.

XxX

"For the Drought of Dreams to be concocted properly the ingredients need to be added with utmost care and the directions need to be followed exactly." Professor Slughorn continued to lecture the potions class yet Lily found it hard to focus. We've been together for two years; didn't that mean anything to him? "You may begin," Professor Slughorn strode to the front of the room, taking a seat in his gilded chair. Lily forced herself to study the board carefully. Powdered dragon claw, three milliliters essence of toadstool, shredded caterpillars, wasn't I good enough for him? What went wrong? Oh, stir counterclockwise three times, oops, wrong way; did I add the lilacs already? Maybe if I had let him kiss me on Saturday . . . but Potter was there, I couldn't let Amos kiss me in front of James. Maybe I've been spending too much time with James, but if Amos was jealous he would have said something, right? Besides, James is just a friend. How much moonstone was I supposed to add? I put the crup milk in, right?"

A sudden hissing jolted Lily from her consuming thoughts. She cast a nervous glance at Alice's cauldron, it contained a simmering blue liquid. Lily peered down at her own. It was bright pink and bubbling, little sparks flying out at odd angles. Before Lily could even begin to work out what she'd done wrong there was an explosion of color followed by a piercing scream, and then Lily fell, spiraling into a chasm of darkness.

XxX

"Lily!" Alice shrieked, abandoning her cauldron in favor of her friend. Lily's body was sprawled on the dungeon floor at an odd angle, the pink liquid seeping into her clothes and skin.

James Potter was at Alice's sided in a flash, "What happened?"

"I don't know!" Alice cried, "Her potion just exploded!"

"Stand aside," Professor Slughorn parted the swarm of students, kneeling beside Lily. He dipped her finger in the potion, surveying the composition. His brow creased into a worried frown. "Mr. Potter, would you be so kind as to carry Miss Evans to the Hospital Wing?"

James inclined his head, sliding his arms beneath Lily. Her head lolled against his chest, her breath warm on his chin. Alice jogged along beside him as he left the dungeon, matching each of his strides with two of her own. "Did Slughorn say you could come?"

Alice shook her head, blonde curls framing her round face. "He threatened anyone who didn't return immediately to their cauldrons with detention. But I couldn't very well leave Lily with the likes of you, could I?"

"Alice, Lily trusts me, why can't you?"

"Firstly, Lily has only just begun to trust you – something that never would have happened if you weren't made Head Boy – and secondly I don't believe your intentions are completely honorable."

"Alice," he groaned, "she has a boyfriend."

"Not anymore, Diggory broke up with her after breakfast."

James nearly tripped, he was so surprised. "He did what?" The question came out as a growl.

Alice's eyes widened in surprise at his tone. "He broke up with her, that is probably why she screwed up so badly today."

James didn't respond. Instead he picked up the pace, glaring furiously at the wall. Alice could practically see the plan forming in his mind. "Potter," she warned, "Don't go picking a fight with Diggory, he's not worth it."

"Go get Madam Pomfrey," James nodded at a door down the hall. "Tell her what happened."

Alice frowned at James but did as she was told, covering the rest of the distance to the Hospital Wing in a run.

James looked down at Lily and felt anger rise in his chest. He knew that Diggory had never deserved her, but Lily had seemed happy so he had never argued, opting to be merely a friend rather than a detested rival. And Lily, in time, had come to accept him as a friend. Perhaps more. James thought, recalling how Lily would never show signs of affection with Diggory whenever he, James, was around.

He shook it off, however, as he entered the Hospital Wing. Alice and Madam Pomfrey met him at the door, ushering him to an unoccupied cot in the corner. As soon as Lily was lying peacefully on the cot Madam Pomfrey rounded on James and Alice. "You two should be getting back to class."

"But Lily-"

"I assure you, Miss Evans is in perfectly good hands. It will do her no good for you to miss class." The woman appeared indifferent to their glares. "Now off with you or Professor Slughorn will have my head and that won't do Miss Evans good at all."

"Slughorn wouldn't even notice if we didn't come back," Alice muttered beneath her breath, but she allowed James to grab her arm and steer her out of the Hospital Wing.

XxX

Thunderheads rolled across the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall the next morning. Each time the doors banged open to reveal a fresh wave of students James would scan the crowd for Alice, but pray to see Lily. Each time would prove unsuccessful and James would frown darkly into his toast.

"James," Remus laid a hand on James' shoulder, "she's going to be all right."

"I know," but even as James said it he felt a deep sense of foreboding. James took another stab at his sausage, staring moodily at his plate. He felt a hesitant hand on his wrist. "James," Sirius nudged him, cocking his head towards the raised stage that held the teachers' tables. Professor McGonagall had just walked in and was raising her arms for silence. As a hush slowly fell over the Great Hall James wildly scanned the hall for Alice. She wasn't sitting in her usual place but Lily's other friends all had an eerie haunting look about them, as though they hadn't slept for days.

"As I am sure countless rumors have spread I feel the need to address the issue of Miss Lily Evans. Normally I wouldn't discuss such delicate matters with the student body but it has been brought to my attention that this may be the only way to help Miss Evans." She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "There was an accident in a Potions class yesterday that resulted in Miss Evans falling into a spell-caused slumber. The spell, unfortunately, is one that was discarded many years ago. It is often referred to as the spell of fairy-tales as its only known remedy is," she faltered for a moment as if skeptical about what she was preparing to say. "Is a kiss from her 'true love'." She said the words as if tasting something bitter. "I know it may seem like an unfathomable possibility and normally I would not condone such behavior, but Madam Pomfrey informs me it may be Miss Evans' last chance at revival. Miss Evans will remain in the Hospital Wing. Students may sign in with Madam Pomfrey if they wish to aid in Miss Evans' situation. If you have any questions please see the head of your house."

James felt the blood drain from his face as a wave of excited whispers flooded the hall. Lily could only be cured by a kiss from her true love? The thought of the numerous boys eager to kiss her made his stomach churn unpleasantly. The fact that Lily no longer had a boyfriend probably made the prospect all the more appealing to certain boys. "I gotta go," he mumbled, throwing his napkin down on his plate.

"What do you reckon?" Sirius looked at Remus who shrugged.

"Could be anyone. I just hope James doesn't hurt himself too much."

XxX

James was halfway to the Hospital Wing when he heard the first set of voices. A pair of fourth years rounded the corner and James hastily bent down, pretending to tie his shoe. "Diggory is certain he's the one, he's heading up after breakfast."

"I thought he dumped her though,"

"He did. Marisol says that's what caused the whole thing. Evans was so upset that she jinxed herself on the spot saying that if she couldn't have Diggory she didn't want to live unless she had someone who loved her."

"That's not what McGonagall said."

"Well, she couldn't exactly admit that the Head Girl is a wacko, could she?"

James seethed doing the best he could to restrain himself as the boys trailed off. Hearing Diggory's name was usually enough to vex James, but hearing Lily spoke of in such context infuriated him. But through his myopic rage something else dawned on James. Lily's life was no longer a private affair. Each time another student approached her bedside the rest of the school would know. In an instant all the memories of James parading around school, pulling the public stunts to proclaim his "love" for Lily rushed his mind. The students would expect him to try, expect him to be right up there with Diggory, waiting to finally feel her lips against his own. And in that instant he knew he couldn't let the rest of Hogwarts witness him searching for love from Lily. If he was going to try he was going to do it on his own.

XxX

James waited until it was nearly dawn before he summoned enough courage to venture to the Hospital Wing. It wasn't so much that he was scared as that he wanted to ensure that the common room would be deserted. James quietly reached for his invisibility cloak and the Marauder's Map; he'd placed them at the foot of his bed earlier that day so that they'd be easily accessible when he was ready to leave. Lily had been under for nearly forty hours now and had suffered through countless kisses, all without result. Through it all James had steadily avoided the Hospital Wing, though he wished he could have seen Diggory's reaction when he realized – after much bragging about Lily's undying love for him – that he wasn't her true love after all.

"Hey, mate, got room for one more under there?" James whirled around, eyes wide as he caught sight of Sirius leaning against the bedpost.

"Merlin, Padfoot you scared me!"

Sirius smirked. "One would think that after seven years of sneaking around school you'd have learned to be a bit more observant."

"Yeah, well, one wouldn't expect to be ambushed by his best mate in his own dorm."

"So, you going to let me come? I figure I can stand guard outside, make sure no one catches you."

"How did you-"

"Remus and I figured it out. We've been taking shifts so that one of us would be up when you left. We figured you could use the support."

James didn't know what to say, the fact that his friends cared so much about him touched him deeply in such a way that he was unsure of how to express his emotion. "Padfoot, I-"

"You can thank me later Prongs, Lily's waiting."

XxX

James knew that with Sirius behind him he couldn't possibly be safer yet his fingers shook as he pulled a chair up beside Lily's cot. "You gonna be okay, mate?"

James nodded, "Yeah. Uh, Sirius would you, uh . . ."

"Say no more mate." Sirius smiled, pulling on James' invisibility cloak. "I'll be waiting for you."

"Thanks." James waited until Sirius was on the other side of the curtain before turning to Lily. "Hey there, Lil," he whispered, brushing a strand of hair off her pale face. "I'm sorry I didn't come earlier, I know you're probably furious with me, and I'm afraid I don't have all that great of an excuse. I couldn't do it in front of the rest of the school, Lil, not like those other boys did; I was afraid. What if nothing happens when I kiss you, Lily? What if I'm not the one? I hate being helpless, Lily, and seeing you like this . . . Lily, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if there's no way for me to help you. And as much as I hate to admit it . . . it was an issue of pride too, I couldn't let you down in front of the whole school." James sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Lily, I'm sorry for being such a conceited jerk in the past, ad I'm sorry for all those times I humiliated you, asked you out in front of everyone. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me, how much you mean to me."

"Prongs," Sirius poked his head through the curtain. "Someone's coming, we've got to go."

"Right," James bent over Lily, stroking her face one last time. "I love you, Lil." He kissed her, surprised to feel her warm lips move against his. "C'mon Padfoot, let's go."

XxX

Voices faded, eventually replaced by the crescendo of new ones. Lily let out a low moan as her eyelids fluttered open. Her stomach ached from lack of food and her body felt cramped from lying in one position for too long. The new voices were getting louder, now accompanied by the light tap of footsteps.

"Albus, how can we even be certain that the answer is within this school? He could be a Muggle for all we know."

"Minerva, I assure you that all is well with Miss Evans."

"I know you mean well, but you must admit that sometimes your good intentions blind you from the truth. How is it possible that after so many years of mutual enmity that they could reconcile their differences?"

"While it is true that I've been wrong in the past, I am certain that this is not one of those times." The curtain drew back revealing a smiling Dumbledore and a shocked McGonagall. "Good Morning, Miss Evans and welcome back."

XxX

Mr. Potter-

Your presence is requested by Headmaster Dumbledore during first period. You will be exempt from class.

James clenched the note in his fist. He was standing before Dumbledore's door, certain that he knew his reason for being summoned. He'd never expected to fully get away with what he'd done, but he hadn't expected a forward confrontation. For reasons unbeknownst to James, Dumbledore had the tendency to let the Marauders slide. James had expected a gentle reprimand or a disappointed glance in the halls, but not this, never this.

He knocked softly on the door before entering. "You wanted to see me sir?"

Albus Dumbledore sat smiling at his desk, robes of a rich plum hue bunching at his elbows. His half-moon spectacles glinted when he looked up at James. "Ah, Mr. Potter, please have a seat."

James nodded, seating himself in the plush armchair opposite Dumbledore. "Now, I assume you know why you're here?"

"Because I visited Lily, sir."

"Oh you did much more than that, James. Not only did you leave your House after hours and violate the rules of the Hospital Wing, you also saved Miss Evans."

"Sir?" James looked up, taken aback at the turn of the lecture.

"James, while I certainly do not commend you for your actions there is no denying that you did what you believed you had to do."

"Sir, if I may say something, while this was partly for me – I'll admit that I wasn't too anxious to be humiliated in front of the whole school – it was mostly for Lily. She doesn't deserve to have her personal life laid out in front of the whole school. And sir," James added, "could you not tell Lily that it was me?"

Dumbledore arched an eyebrow in surprise, "I should have thought that after so many years of chasing Miss Evans you would be thrilled to have finally proven your point."

James scuffed his foot on the floor, running one hand through his hair. "Yes, but it's not fair to Lily, sir, to have someone tell her who her, um, true love is. She should be able to discover that herself."

"And what about you James?"

James looked up, "Sir?"

Dumbledore placed his two long index fingers together. "The spell does not work one way, Mr. Potter, for you to be Miss Evans' true love, so to speak, she must be yours in return."

James smiled wryly. "I know that, sir. But if you're worried about me knowing . . ." James sighed, searching for the right words. "Sir, I've known that Lily is the one for me since the moment I first saw her, this just confirmed it for me. So if you're worried about how I'll handle it . . . I'll be fine."

XxX

Madam Pomfrey was trying to goad Lily into swallowing an unappealing green liquid when she had her first visitor of the day. When Lily had awaken to find Dumbledore and McGonagall over her Dumbledore had promised to return after alerting the school to her well-being and allowing Madam Pomfrey to ensure that she was in good health.

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore sat in the hair James had placed beside her bed hours before. "How are you feeling?"

"A little confused," she admitted, "but that's better than not feeling anything at all."

Dumbledore smiled. "You had your friends quite worried. I believe those flowers are compliments of Mr. Potter," he nodded to a vase brimming with tiger-lilies. "The supply of Honeydukes chocolate is from Mr. Black and Pettigrew who have assured me that they bought out half the store, and of course, Mr. Lupin assumed you may want notes and homework from classes, though I do believe he snuck in an extra book or two for your pleasure."

Lily smiled, "And I assume Alice was in here every day?"

"Making her opinions on each of the boys that approached you known, yes."

Lily sat in silence for a moment, smiling at the thought of Alice critiquing her suitors. After a few minutes had passed Lily hesitantly brought up the subject that was weighing heaviest on her mind, "Professor, do you know who it was that . . . woke me?"

Dumbledore stayed silent for a long time, staring thoughtfully out the window. Finally he sighed, turning to Lily. "I do. But before you ask I am afraid I'm not at liberty to give you his name."

Lily looked up in surprise, "Why not?"

"He has requested that I withhold his name as he does not believe it is fair that you must have the name of your true love forced on you. He seems to think you might want to find that on your own."

Lily nodded, "That was sweet of him. But Professor," she hesitated, "I think I know who it is."

"Oh?"

Lily nodded again. "When I was . . . under the spell, I wasn't always sleeping. I could hear people every now and then, hear them talking about me. Right before kissing me, he talked to me, saying how he couldn't bring himself to try in front of the rest of the school for fear that he'd be wrong. He said some other things too," Lily's pallid cheeks flushed with the memory of all he had said. "And I'm fairly sure I know whose voice it was."

"Well, Miss Evans, I believe it is your decision then. I could modify your memory if you wish, or you may keep the memory. However, the longer you wait the harder it is to only modify that specific memory."

Lily thought on it for a moment, did she really want to know that he was the one boy out there that was made for her? That if fate had its way they were destined to be together? That she could never be fully happy with any other person? Somehow the notion didn't seem nearly as terrifying as she had imagined it would be. Instead, she felt the warmth returning to her face.

Lily bit her bottom lip, battling the pros and cons in her mind. After a moment's hesitation she raised her tired eyes to Dumbledore's. "I think I'd like to keep the memory."

Dumbledore smiled. "As you wish. However I suggest you get your rest or Madam Pomfrey will be after my head."

Lily agreed to try and sleep, but as Dumbledore left the Hospital Wing Lily sunk deep into the pillows, wondering if she'd made the right decision.

XxX

"God, Lil, you had us all so worried," Alice sat on the edge of Lily's bed, instinctively smoothing out the sheets. "We were beginning to think that your true love was a Muggle or something and we'd never be able to find him!"

"Well, I guess all that worry was wasted," Lily gave a small smile. "The right guy managed to find me on his own."

"That was weird, though, you'd think the guy would come forward or something, take some credit." When Lily didn't answer, Alice tried again. "Don't you wonder who it is?"

Lily shrugged, "If we're meant to be I figure I'll find out in time."

Alice pulled back, looking at Lily with new eyes. Her cheeks were pale and shadows hung beneath her vibrant eyes; eyes that were shining with a deeper understanding. Shining with secrecy and something that looked suspiciously like love. "That's deep, Lil."

Lily's shoulders sagged and she turned her head to face the window. She watched as tow birds flew by the window, their paths entwining. "What would you do, Alice, if you could know who your one true love is? Would you want to know?"

Alice thought for a moment, her fingers playing on the edge of Lily's sheets. "I suppose it all depends on views, doesn't it? I think we all have more than one true love in the world."

"Do you really?" Lily turned to face Alice who nodded eagerly.

"Of course! Suppose you find your 'soul mate', but they pass away. There is undoubtedly someone else in the world that will become your true love. Our hearts have room for more than one love, Lily. I believe you really loved Amos, but he just isn't the one who is meant for you at this point in your life."

Lily contemplated this, the echo of a smile lighting on her lips. "And you say that I'm deep?"

Alice blushed, "I've been thinking about that ever since you went under the spell." Alice cocked her head to the side. "You know, James never even tried to kiss you. I thought for sure he would have been right up there with Amos."

"Maybe he came when you were in class or something, or while you were eating."

"Yeah, maybe, I just thought he would've tried to make a show of it."

Lily shrugged, "I don't know, he's grown up a lot since last year."

Alice looked at her oddly, recalling James' strange behavior the past few days. "Yeah, I guess he has."

XxX

Dinner had ended by the time James finally made it up to see Lily. The other three Marauders had visited Lily at lunchtime, smuggling in food that they believed to be more edible than anything Pomfrey would give. "This way you know for a fact that there isn't any foul medicine mixed in," Sirius had told her with a wink.

Lily had enjoyed their company immensely, allowing their light-hearted teasing to lift her spirits. She was beginning to believe that laughter, indeed, was the best medicine as it was the best she'd felt all day. Yet the mood couldn't stay. Though Peter was the one to answer when Lily asked where James was, she didn't miss the furtive glance exchanged between Sirius and Remus. Needless to say, Lily was feeling confused and slightly hurt by the time James traipsed in.

It must have shown on her face for when James caught sight his bright smile faltered. "Hey, Lily."

"Hey,"

"How's it going?" He jammed his hands in his pockets, resisting the urge to run them through his hair.

"As good as can be expected," Lily turned her head slightly, moving her gaze from James to the window beside her bed.

Though he tried his best not to show it, Lily could tell James was perplexed by her cool indifference. This did not have the desired effect, however, as instead of feeling a smug satisfaction, Lily's behavior only left her feeling even emptier. "Lily, I-" James' voice cracked and he cleared his throat, reddening as Lily turned her eyes on him. Her usually vibrant eyes were brimming with hurt. He sighed, perching himself on the edge of her bed. Before he could stop himself he'd reached across and brushed a strand of deep auburn hair off of Lily's pale face. "What's wrong, Lily?"

Though Lily shivered beneath James' touch she struggled to maintain her impassiveness. "Why didn't you visit me earlier, James? When the other boys came up?"

James turned his head away, afraid Lily would read the truth in his eyes. "I had to finish an essay for McGonagall."

"It's not like I expected you to be waiting to be the first to see me like Alice, I just . . . I thought we were friends, James."

"We are," James was confused. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Friends are more important than schoolwork," Lily whispered. "Besides, Transfiguration is your best subject, it wouldn't have taken you long to finish that essay." Tears were building now and her voice began to quaver. "Why are you lying to me, James?"

James was at a loss for words. What answer could he give that wouldn't hurt Lily? "Lily, I-" he paused, he had to be certain before he answered, he couldn't risk her friendship, not after all he'd done to finally gain her truest. "Lily, that night in the library, when Diggory came up and put his arms around you, why wouldn't you let him kiss you?"

Lily swallowed hard. If she was wrong about James her answer would bring about events of a catastrophic nature, but he wouldn't be asking if he wasn't the one, would he? "Because I realized that Amos wasn't the one I wanted to be kissing."

"A-and who is it that you wanted to kiss?"

Lily struggled to sit up, staring at James with intensity in her eyes. "You." She tilted her face upwards and James met her lips with his. The kiss was slow and gentle, but fireworks fueled by passion were exploding in the back of their minds. They pulled apart, breathing heavily. "I heard you last night," Lily said. "Heard everything you said. But when you didn't come to see me I was afraid . . . afraid that maybe I'd been dreaming."

James laughed softly, "You weren't dreaming, Lil. I just couldn't bring myself to face you, knowing that you were the one for me but knowing you didn't know."

"I always knew." Lily said, casting her eyes demurely downwards. "I didn't want to admit it, but I think I always knew. You were always so sure of yourself, so confident whenever you said you'd have me eventually; it was hard not to believe you."

"I'm glad you believed me," James smirked, "because frankly, I was beginning to doubt myself. I think I was just saying it to make myself feel better."

Lily giggled in spite of herself, "Was I that uninterested?"

"Lil, until recently I didn't even think I had a chance of attaining your friendship, let alone becoming your boyfriend."

Lily's breath caught in her throat at the word. She hadn't even begun to contemplate where there relationship would turn after this moment. It was only natural for it to progress, wasn't it?

James seemed to have noticed his slip for he hastily attempted to reassure her. "Not that I am your boyfriend, not if that's not what you want. I just . . . Lily," James' face lost its fluster and his voice became serious and level. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"James," Lily smiled shyly, "There is nothing that I would love more."

XxX

Even as she dragged herself to classes the following morning, Lily couldn't erase the smile that radiated from her unnaturally pale face. Clutching her books to her chest she recalled James' arms wrapped tight around her, reveled in the memory of his lips against hers. There was nothing, she felt, that could bring her down, not even double Transfiguration (her absolute worst subject, though she still managed to achieve multiple "Outstanding"s) with the Slytherins.

Her good humor was lost on her friends as they grumbled their way into the classroom, each one of them equally bewildered at Lily's good mood. "Is there something you'd like to share with the class, Lil?"

"Hm?" She spared a glance at Alice who was staring at Lily with a probing gaze as though trying to find what exactly was wrong with her friend. "Sorry, did you say something?"

"What is with you Lily Evans? Why are you so bloody cheerful?"

Lily glanced across the room, her eyes landing on James who rose to his feet, smiling giddily at the sight of her. "I don't know, Alice," came her light response, "I guess fate's just on my side."

XxX

A/N: Okay, I absolutely hate the ending, but this story has been hanging over my head all summer and I honestly don't think I'm going to come up with a better ending. Please review and let me know what you thought!

Oh, and as a side note, I've recently started a livejournal to use as a place to post information and updates about my fanfics. The URL is under the "homepage" link in my bio, or you can just go to LJ and look up the username: xdojx. See you all there!

All my love-

DOJ