Double, Double O Duck

By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

My thanks to "Purple Assie" for letting me bounce ideas for this story off of her. It really helped me to get this story moving when it got stuck.

A thin little duck, dressed in grey, snuck into Launchpad's office. Launchpad was doodling, playing with an idea for a plane he was trying to design. When Launchpad looked up from his sketch, he saw the little duck for the first time.

"What the?" Launchpad asked, startled.

"Excuse me, Double-O-Duck, for startling you...' the little duck began.

"NO! I am NOT Double-O-Duck anymore! Or ever again! I'm just Launchpad. I'm NOT an agent for the DIA, SHUSH or Allstate! I thought I made that clear- that the last time, the "sidekick" shtick with DW was just that- the LAST TIME!"Launchpad exclaimed.

"Please hear me out and you may change your mind. Bruno Von Beck has escaped from SHUSH custody! Bruno knows you masqueraded as him- Feathers Galore told him when she visited his cell- to make him jealous, I think. A "stoolie" told us that Bruno intends to masquerade as YOU and rob Mr. McDuck. Have I succeeded in changing your mind?" Littleduck asked.

"Sigh. Yes. I suppose doing something as violently logical as telling Mr. McDuck about Bruno's escape and plans BEFORE he can do anything is out for some reason?" said Launchpad.

Launchpad could guess the kind of trouble someone who looks as much like Launchpad as Bruno could cause him, by pretending to be Launchpad and robbing Mr. McDuck.

Whether Bruno succeeded or not, Launchpad's name would be mud.

"We could do that. But somebody had to help Bruno escape in the first place. We think it was Flintheart Glomgold who arranged Bruno's escape. You playing "sidekick"- bodyguard, really- to Darkwing Duck netted a few small fry- but Flintheart emerged clean. We hope to give Bruno enough rope to hang Flintheart by." Littleduck said.

"We want you to pretend to be Bruno, pretending to be YOU and talk to Flintheart and get him to say something incriminating." Littleduck said.

"Is that what you have in mind? One question: what if BRUNO shows up while I'm doing that? Wouldn't it be a good idea to net Bruno FIRST?" Launchpad asked.

"We would have to find Bruno to catch him. He will be slinking about, hoping to capture YOU so YOU can not show up while he is pretending to be Launchpad. You must go about your business as usual, as if we two never talked, if we are to lure Bruno out of hiding." Littleduck said.

"So I'm Bruno-bait. Cute. But I gotta help get Bruno back in the slammer before he ruins my reputation. I may be know as a Fool, but at least it's an Honest Fool." Launchpad said.

Launchpad intended to tell Mr. McDuck the Truth and swear "Mr. McDee" to secrecy, but Launchpad never got the chance.

A couple of "gentlemen" who practically had "cheap hood" written all over them tried to kidnap Dufus. Launchpad stopped them, but got kidnapped himself. A few minutes later, Bruno, dressed like Launchpad convinced Dufus that "he" had escaped from the Bad Guys. Dufus, who unfortunely lives up to his name, bought it, hook line and sinker. Not a glimmer of suspicious that this was not Launchpad did Dufus have.

But Huey, Dewey and Louie were not as gullible. It did not take long before they realized that that something was weird about "Launchpad".

"What's with Launchpad today? He's acting awfully - stupid. " Huey said.

"Yeah- when Uncle Scooge yelled at him for no good reason, as usual, Launchpad actually YELLED BACK instead of making a dumb joke of it, the way he usually does." Huey said.

"Yeah- and he's acting lazy, too - herefused to carry our stuff or fuel up the plane or do anything except fly the plane- refused do anything except what he's actually paid to do. And that's not like Launchpad. He's normally very helpful and cooperative. But today- I kept getting the feeling that if we got in trouble, Launchpad couldn't be bothered to rescue us like he normally does." Dewey agreed.

" Launchpad has seen too many people lose their jobs by yelling back at Uncle Scrooge to do that. And Uncle Scrooge can make it awful tough for someone to ever find a job again, if he wants to. Launchpad's not that- stupid." Louie said.

They decided to keep an eye on "Launchpad".

Soon afterwards, they saw "Launchpad" in their Uncle Scrooge's office, going thur his papers. He was looking for something.

"Where is it? That- that - sawed-off Scotish Jack Benny must have written the combination of the money bin down someplace!" the fake "Launchpad" said.

"But Launchpad knows Uncle Scrooge memberizes the combination to his money bin! And why would Launchpad want the combination for- unless he intends to rob the money bin?" Huey asked.

"That tears it. He may look like Launchpad. He may talk like Launchpad. He may dress like Launchpad- but that is NOT Launchpad." Dewey said.

"Should we tell Uncle Scrooge? Would he believe us? " Louie asked.

"Wait a minute- we look just alike. The real Launchpad can tell which one of us is which. But this clown CAN'T. He hasn't called any of us by name today. He keeps calling us "boys". That ought to prove to Uncle Scrooge this clown ain't Launchpad!" Huey said.

Later, when the boys find their Uncle Scrooge and talk to him...

"What do you mean, Launchpad isn't Launchpad?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"He's NOT. He's a faker- pretending to be Lauchpad! If we switch t-shirts and pretend to be each other and fool him will that convince you that we're right?" Dewey asked.

"It will indeed. You three stopped trying to fool Launchpad like that years ago, when it stopped working. But we better stop off at the Money Bin first and get Gizmo-duck's help. If we are dealing with an imposter- this "man" could be dangerous." Mr. McDuck said.

So they go to the Money Bin...

"Gizmo-duck, the boys think the "man" saying he is Launchpad is an imposter..." Mr. McDuck began.

"Oh, good! I thought I was cracking up! Launchpad went past by the Money Bin earlier today- he saw me on duty and he gave me such a dirty look- like he hated my guts! I knew something highly weird was going on with Launchpad today- but I had to stay at my post! Glad to know I wasn't imaging things!" Giz said.

Mr. McDuck told Giz about their plan to try and fool "Launchpad" by having the boys switch t-shirts and pretend to be each other.

"Not a bad idea. But why don't you tell Launchpad this and I'll see if reacts to it like he should or not?" Giz said and he told the boys what else to tell "Launchpad".

And when they all catch up with "Launchpad":

"Launchpad, Huey and I were talking..." said HUEY wearing Dewey's shirt

"And he has to visit his Dad (which would be kind of difficult, Fenton's Dad been dead for years and Launchpad knows that...) but he doesn't want to leave the Money Bin unprotected. So I told Dewey that maybe you could wear the g-suit and be Gizmo-duck for a little while" said DEWEY wearing Huey's shirt.

Well, not only did "Launchpad" not notice that the boys were wearing each other's t-shirts and calling each other by the wrong names, but Giz noticed that he didn't bat an eye at the notion of Giz visiting his late father, nor panic at the mere thought of being Gizmo-duck AGAIN!

Weirdest of all was the greedy look in "Launchpad's" eye - the boys had seen that look in their Uncle Scrooge's eye many a time. But from someone who looked so much like Launchpad- it was first-class weird.

"Sure, boys- I'll be glad too! I bet I'll do a great job as Gizmo-duck, too!" "Launchpad" said.

(Because no one was hurt in the "Mistaken Secret Identity" fiasco, Mr. McDuck managed to restrict coverage of it to Duckberg and Bruno was in jail outside of Duckberg at the time.)

"YOU'RE not Launchpad!" Gizmo-duck said. (Duh!)

Giz grabbed the imposter.

"Hey! Let go! I am too Launchpad!" he lied.

"Oh, really?" asked Gizmo-duck, removing the aviator's cap and red wig Bruno was wearing, revealing a head of BLACK hair.

"How did you know?' Bruno asked.

"A bit of black hair was sticking out from beneath your wig. It looks like you have at least one thing in common with the REAL Launchpad- you have a cowlick, too." Giz said.

Just then, the REAL Launchpad came running up.

"Hey, boys, Giz- an imposter pretending to be me is planning to rob the Money Bin and- Hey! You caught him already! (Duh!) " Launchpad said.

He was a mess. His hair was dirty. His clothes were dirty and ripped. But it was LAUNCHPAD.

"LAUNCHPAD!" the boys yelled with delight.

Then: "Yuck! Gross!" they yelled and held their beaks with their hands.

"Sorry about that. Some bums, probably hired by that fake, locked me in a basement. I had to crawl thur the sewer to escape! But I don't understand- how did you know Bruno wasn't me when he looks just like me?" Launchpad asked.

"Because, Launchpad- it's not what you LOOK like. It's how you act- who you are - that makes you special. Makes you Launchpad." Huey said.

(So I'm not above a moral)

The End.

(1) There are an LOT of "smart" people who think that anybody who is honest is AUTOMATICALLY an idiot. A LOT of "smart" people think that anybody who cares about anything except "number one" first, last and always is a moron. A LOT of "smart" people only do what they are paid to do- and as little of that as possible. The more I see of such people, the more I like Launchpad.

(2) A reference that may be lost on the Triplets. Try googling him, boys.