Author's Note: Hello again, everyone! This is Meganichan04, here to bring you another fun-filled fanfic after three whole hours of trying to install Corel word perfect. (As you might be able to tell, the little Angel of Technology hovering over my shoulder finally prevailed and I got it all to work out.)

This fic was written quite a while ago, before I learned how to post my work. It's sole purpose was to force the Gung-Ho Guns to have some fun, and I stuck Vash in there to appease my slavering fangirl of a pet senior. (Long story behind that one.) It has been revised slightly from the original, and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: The characters written about herein belong to the people who first created them; the Trigun cast to Yasuhiro Nightow-san, and the InuYasha crew to Rumiko Takahashi-san.

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"A thousand bottles of beer on the wall, a thousand bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, nine hundred ninety nine bottle of beer on the wall! Sing it with me, guys!"

"Next rest stop I see," Millions Knives muttered threateningly, glowering up at the rearview mirror, "we pin a twenty double dollar bill to his coat and toss him out."

"Well, Master," Legato Bluesummers drawled from the passenger's seat beside him, "not to be disrespectful, but when Chapel wanted to 'bring a friend,' I would have thought you would have immediately known to whom he was referring."

"Shut up, Legato." Completely disregarding the heavy traffic conditions, the plant craned his neck to glare at the oblivious singer in the backseat. "Vash, I realize that a lot has changed since we were kids, but I can still kick your ass blindfolded with both legs tied behind my back. So be quiet!"

Vash looked up. "Did you say something, Knives?"

"Just shut up so I won't have to prove myself by pulling over and beating the living crap out of you!"

The younger blonde paled and stopped short, the nine hundred and ninety sixth beer never making it down off the wall. "Sorry. I'll shut up."

O.O.O.O.O

Knives, Legato, Vash the Stampede, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Midvalley the Hornfreak, Zazie the Beast, Dominique the Cyclops, and Rai Dei the Blade had bee stuck in the van for nearly seven and a half hours, and Knives was going slowly insane. Well, even more insane than usual, if that's at all possible.

The road trip to the So, You're So Evil You Could Swap Notes With Satan? Villains Convention had started poorly. Knives had been beyond indignant when he realized that he would either have to endure the humiliation of driving a minivan like a soccer mom or leave the Gung-Ho Guns at home. Not just everyone at the convention had a gang of deadly outlaws that obeyed their every whim, so Knives was unwilling to leave his minions at home and lose the chance to show off. Therefore, his only consolation was to slap an "I Don't Break For Spiders" bumper sticker on the cherry-red horror of a vehicle before they pulled out.

Next, the plant had been forced to trust Chapel the Evergreen, Cain the Longshot, E.G. Mine, and Hoppard the Gauntlet with the task of transporting Monev the Gale and Grey the Ninelives to the convention in a rented U-haul trailer. The only reason he had done this was the fact that the four Gung-Ho Guns and their "cargo" were expendable. No big loss for Knives if they screwed up and died on the way there. Which they probably would.

Then, at the very last minute before they were to leave, Wolfwood had run up to his boss and pleaded to be allowed to bring a friend along. Knives, distracted by Legato trying to load the van with forty pounds of Armour hotdogs, had absentmindedly agreed to the request, thus resulting in Vash's bad singing for three hours straight.

Since six a.m. they had run into a never-ending chain of roadblocks, detours, traffic jams, construction work, and heavily tolled highways. To make matters even worse, Zazie's sedatives had worn off at noon and the suddenly fully-awake demon child had bitten off a large chunk from the back of Legato's seat. Dominique had been elected to give the Beast more tranquilizers, as she had the best chance of success due to her hypnotic eye. Dominique now looked like she had picked and lost a fight with a weed whacker, and she was very, very angry. Zazie had enthusiastically eaten half of her hat, foaming at the mouth as he did so, before the drugs had taken effect and put him under once more. It was now almost time for the child to have another dose, and the Cyclops was just waiting for one of the men to suggest that she be the one to give it.

Now, they were roughly four hours from their destination.

"Um, Master...?" Legato began hesitantly. When he received no orders to shut up or any smacks to the head, he continued on, encouraged. "When exactly were you planning to stop?"

"Stop? Why would I do that?"

"Well, I just thought that we might possibly stop for some lunch, seeing as how we have not eaten in nearly nine hours."

In the back, Wolfwood, Vash, and Midvalley let out a collective happy-gasp. After Vash had been scolded for his singing, they had started up a game of "I'm Going On A Trip." Every item they mentioned was edible, resulting in the three of them getting very hungry very fast.

"I want KFC!" Zazie shouted, excited by the prospect of food. His sedatives had begun to wear off again and he thought that a restaurant would be the perfect place to enact a little post-nap mayhem.

"No, Zazie, we had Kentucky Fried Chicken yesterday," Dominique pointed out. "Let's get something else this time."

"No! KFC!" Zazie screamed.

"Ooh, ooh, let's get donuts!" Vash said, leaning forward over the seat in front of him.

"KFC!" Zazie shrieked.

Wolfwood pulled the rather excited Humanoid Typhoon back into his seat by the collar of his enormous coat. "Sit down, Tongari. We want real food, not sugar-loaded globs of deep-fried dough."

"But donuts are real food!"

"KFC! KFC!" Zazie howled, kicking and thrashing. Rai Dei covered his ears, the expression on his face telling everyone present that he would rather be anywhere else, including Hell, at that particular moment.

"Legato," Knives mumbled absently as he scanned road signs, "shut that little brat up."

"With pleasure, Master." Legato leaned over to stare evilly at the child in the seat behind him. They glared at each other for a few moments before Zazie kicked the psychic in the face with one grimy little shoe.

"KFC!"

"Ouch! Master, did you see what that little piece of shit did to me?!"

Growling in frustration as the Beast and his favorite minion began an all out war, Knives cut across four lanes of traffic and zoomed down an exit ramp at seventy five miles an hour. "If you two don't shut up there will be no food for the rest of the trip!"

Utter silence reigned as the van pulled into a Taco Bell.

"Yay, tacos!" Vash yelled, leaping out of the van. "Race you in, Nicky!"

"No fair! You got a head start!" Grabbing the Cross Punisher off the top of the vehicle, the priest ran after his friend. Dominique and Rai Dei followed somewhat more slowly.

"So, Rai Dei. You think they're gay?"

"It's a possibility."

Midvalley stood slightly behind Knives, who was watching Legato chase Zazie around the parking lot and wondering why he hadn't thrown the little boy out on the highway hours ago. "So, Master, what made you choose tacos?" the Hornfreak asked, checking Sylvia over to make sure she hadn't suffered any damage during the ride. "I wouldn't have taken you for a Mexican kind of guy."

Knives, unwilling to admit that he enjoyed any sort of spider-food whatsoever, turned uncomfortably away from the sax player. "It was simply the first advertisement I saw. Besides, I'm going to enjoy the look on my brother's face when he bites into a taco and I tell him it's made from cat meat." Midvalley looked ill. "Uh, it's not, by the way. Legato! Bring the child and let's get this over with. I want to get back on the road as soon as possible."

Zazie, hearing this, ran faster in an attempt to get Legato in trouble for not being able to catch him. Fortunately for Legato, however, the Beast also tried to turn slightly and blow a raspberry at him while he was running. The demon-boy tripped, enabling the blue-haired man to capture him and drag him into the restaurant.

"Try to behave yourself, you little monster," Legato growled as he escorted the blonde boy up to the register by one ear.

"KFC," Zazie pouted.

"Just behave yourself now and we just might stop at KFC on the way back from the master's convention."

The Beast brightened up at this and shoved Midvalley out of the way to place his order. "I want four burrito supremes and a Mountain Dew. And make it snappy!" he told the cashier. Somewhat taken aback by the child's assertiveness, the girl glanced at Midvalley for permission to ring up Zazie's order.

"Go ahead," the sax player said with a forced smile, patting Zazie's head with a little more gusto than was necessary. "He's a growing boy!"

"Ow, that hurts! Knock it off!"

After the rest of the gang had placed their orders, Knives stepped up last of all. It had been very hard for him to choose what he wanted, as he had been craving anything from Taco Bell for more than a week, but he finally made up his mind. One of everything, to go. What he didn't eat then, he could always stuff into the cooler and eat later.

"Can I help you, sir?" the cashier asked innocently.

"Yes, I will have one of everything. To go."

The girl paused, not sure if this oddly dressed man was serious, then shrugged and rang it up. She wisely resisted the urge to sarcastically inquire if that would be all and asked instead, "What to drink, sir?"

"A large water." Which makes a lot of sense, as Knives is in fact a plant. Get it? No? Then I suggest you go watch a few more episodes of the show before you finish this story.

"Will that be all, sir?" the girl asked, managing to keep all traces of sarcasm out of her voice, lucky for her.

Knives glanced around, trying to locate his minions. "I suppose everyone has ordered, so I do believe that will be all."

"Alrightie," the cashier said cheerfully, pressing the total button, "then your total will be–" The girl stopped mid-sentence as Knives pulled out his gun and began to examine it.

"You know, I just remembered that I neglected to bring any spider-currency on this trip..."

"T-that's p-perfectly fine, s-sir," the cashier stammered, white as a sheet under her makeup. Y-y- your total comes to...y-your total c-comes t-to...to absolutely nothing! It's totally free! On the house!"

"As well it should be." Knives nodded, satisfied, and walked away to await his food, tucking away his gun in the process. The girl who had taken their order fainted dead away, disappearing behind the counter with a loud thud. God, he loved being evil. The plant meandered down to the order pick-up section of the counter, shoving Zazie out of the way as he did so.

The Beast, who had been helping himself to the hot sauce display, snarled at his pushy master before slinking out into the dining area. He would revenge himself later. Just then, though, he had something more interesting to attend to. Wiping sauce off his mouth with one sleeve, the little boy crossed the room and prepared to accost some random Taco Bell patrons.

"Here, Rin," Sessho-maru yawned, handing the little girl a crumpled bill. "Go get yourself some cinnamon twists."

"Yay! Thank you, Lord Sessho-maru!" Rin scrambled out from under the table where she had been eating her taco and watching Sesame Street on Kanna's mystic mirror. (When the wind blew just right, it picked up cable.) Leaving the paler girl engrossed in the antics of Big Bird and Elmo, she took the money and scampered toward the registers.

"Jaken, you go with her."

The small, green demon flinched. "Yes, m'lord." Obediently he got up to follow the girl, leaving his nacho supreme half eaten and sighing to himself. "Lord Sessho-maru does spoil that child so..."

The great Lord of the Western Lands watched them go, not thinking about anything in particular...until a small boy in a cowboy outfit approached the table and began to stare straight at him. This also garnered the attention of the other two patrons at the table. Kagura and Naraku glanced up from their trays, slightly curious. Kanna peeked out from under the table. The kid looked like he meant business.

Knives was collecting his food when Legato came sidling up to him, looking nervous. "Master...?"

"What is it, Legato?"

"I believe we might have a slight problem..."

"What is it this time?"

"If you would look over to the corner booth..." The psychic helpfully pointed it out. It took Knives roughly two and a third seconds to decide not to intervene. He hated Naraku with a passion, and Sessho-maru was just an arrogant ass. In his opinion, they deserved what they were about to get.

"Go away, you little brat," the dog-demon growled threateningly. "There is only one human child that I will tolerate, and you are not it."

"Give me the fluffy!" the Beast demanded.

"The what?"

"The fluffy," Zazie repeated, pointing at Sessho-maru's tail. "Give it to me!"

Sessho-maru's demon markings flared briefly. "First of all, you insolent little human, this is my tail. Hence, it is attached to my body. I could not give it to you even if I wanted to. Secondly, even if I could remove it, you would not get it. Ever. Now go away before I eat you."

"Fluffy!" Zazie shrieked, seizing the tail. He then bit into it, with some force.

"AAAAARGH!" Snarling and howling in pain, Sesshy lashed his long, cotton candy-like tail and beat wildly with his one good fist. After a good thirty seconds of this, he finally managed to dislodge Zazie, who went flying across the room and hit the drink dispensers. The tail now resembled cotton candy with several large bites taken out of it.

"Zazie, spit that out," Dominique sighed, trying to pry a large clump of white fur out of his mouth. "You don't know where it's been."

"Millions!" Sessho-maru howled. "Your minion has ruined my tail! I hold you personally responsible for this!"

Knives took the opportunity to practice looking down his nose at someone. "Oh, really."

"Shut up, Sessho-maru." Everyone turned to look at Naraku, who didn't look the least bit concerned over what had happened to his dining companion. "You should have simply killed the child the first time he bothered you. It's you own fault."

"Monkey!" Zazie screamed, snatching at the baboon-skin robe.

"Hey, drop that!" the panicked demon yelled, but too late. The little blonde cowpoke latched on to the robe and pulled it off Naraku. He then rapidly retreated across the room with his prize, leaving Naraku red as a beet and trying in vain to cover up his chibi Kikyo patterned boxers.

This, predictably, sent everyone into hysterics.

Wolfwood's first laugh sucked a piece of lettuce down his throat where it then lodged, forcing Vash, who was also laughing crazily, to pound him on the back until it came loose. Sessho-maru howled with mirth and beat on the table with his fist. He was so delighted that Naraku had gotten his just desserts that he didn't even notice his tail frizzing wildly from all the commotion.

"I see London, I see France!" Rin giggled, pointing at the unfortunate demon. Kanna simply held her mirror, looking bemused, while Dominique looked bored and Kagura laughed covertly behind her fan. Jaken took the opportunity to finish his nachos uninterrupted.

Knives, Legato, and Rai Dei could only lean on each other, laughing helplessly as Zazie rolled across the floor wrapped in the fur. Naraku was running after, trying to reclaim his robe while still covering his underwear, and not succeeding. He kept trying, though, screaming death treats all the while.

In the middle of this fantastic scene, Midvalley made an interesting discovery, one that would end that particular visit to Taco Bell. Kagura's bust bounced when she laughed. Without thinking, he reached over the back of his seat, wrapped his arms around her, and gave them a squeeze. "Bouncy!" This led directly to Kagura trying to stab the Hornfreak to death with the pointy end of her giant feather, and darn near succeeding.

It was then that Knives decided they should go. It really was the most marvelous entertainment, but he did after all have a convention to get to. He didn't really fancy being late due to asphyxiation brought on by laughing like a deranged hyena. Ordering Legato to get everyone and their lunches back to the van, he pulled the baboon robe off the Beast and threw it at Naraku. "Here, monkey. Next time follow your own advice and just kill the little brat. You have my permission. Ciao!" With that, the laughing plant waltzed out the door, ignoring the insane ranting of the offended demon. The convention was off to a good start.

O.O.O.O.O

Thirty minutes later...

"Damn it all!" Knives screamed in frustration. "There must be a line of cars just backed up right across the face of this godforsaken planet!" He leaned on the horn with all his might, wishing nothing but that the line of vehicles in front of him would suddenly vaporize into tiny bits. For a moment he considered making Vash do just that, via his angel arm, but quickly shrugged it off. Vash was sleeping peacefully in the back seat, drooling on the oblivious priest's shoulder, and Knives didn't really feel like waking him up over so petty a concern.

"It'll be alright, Master," Legato yawned. "It will pass." The psychic was reclining in the passenger's seat, slurping the last of his soda from Taco bell with both bare feet propped on the dashboard. Can you imagine Legato with bare feet? Sort'a kawaii, isn't it? Truth be told, Legato was enjoying the break from all things evil and didn't mind in the least that they might be stuck in traffic for hours. He had plenty of cinnamon twisties to get him through.

"No! It will never pass!" Knives leaned out of his window to see if he could discover the source of the block. "They're just going to sit here in a freaking line like the freaking idiots they are until we all rot!"

"It could be worse, Master. At least Zazie is behaving himself."

"Yes," Knives muttered darkly, glancing suspiciously into the rearview mirror. The one in question was seated between an unconcerned Rai Dei and Dominique, who was bored out of her mind and wishing for the largest shopping mall on Gunsmoke to appear beside the van. The Beast seemed to be reading a road atlas and, for a moment, Knives actually thought he might have mercifully reverted to his innocent child mode. However, as the plant watched, a hugely smug and satisfied smile spread across the child's face, and he began to giggle.

"Zazie?" Knives glared suspiciously back at him. "What are you–OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT SMELL?!"

The Beast began to laugh hysterically (with a slightly demonic edge) as everyone was made abruptly aware of what he had done. "I told you we should get KFC, but you didn't listen!" he cackled. "You chose to ignore my warning, and now it's too late! I've had four burrito supremes and I've got plenty more where that came from!"

"Eeeeww!" Dominique squealed, clapping her hands over her nose and mouth. "You did that on purpose!"

"I think that's fairly obvious," Rai Dei coughed, mashing himself against the door in a futile attempt to stay as far from the flatulent Beast as he could. "Zazie, that is so immature..."

"Please let me kill him, Master," Legato pleaded, hanging his head out his open window. "Please! It will be easy! When's the last time I asked you for something?"

"Request denied, Legato!" Knives dug into the glove compartment, searching for his gun. If anyone was going to waste the little monster, it would be him. He'd buy Legato a hotdog later to make up for it.

In the back, Dominique dug into her purse and pulled forth an aerosol can of perfume. "Must–cover up–the smell!"

"Dominique, no!" Wolfwood yelled, covering his face, but she paid no attention. In moments the air was ever less breathable than it had been before. In this respect, Midvalley was the luckiest out of all of them; as he was a sax player and had the good lungs that went with the occupation, he could hold his breath the longest.

"Oh, just roll down the windows, already!" Knives snarled between coughs. The hard truth was, however, that rolling down the windows wouldn't help, and Knives knew it. The van hadn't moved in nearly ten minutes, thus, there was no breeze to dissipate the smell.

"I–need–air!" Wolfwood suddenly lunged across Vash's sleeping form to shove his head and shoulders out the window, jamming a knee into the blonde gunman's groin as he did so. The priest's gasping breaths were abruptly drowned out by Vash's remarkably high-pitched scream.

"Dear lord, what are they doing back there?" Legato peeked rather cautiously over the back of his seat to see what all the commotion was about.

"Wolfwood's kicking me!" Midvalley yelled, kicking back. They both ignored Vash, who was still screaming in pain as the priest rested his whole body weight on the knee in order to kick backwards at the Hornfrek.

"Chapel, what are you doing to my brother?" Knives yelled, eyes watering from the perfume.

"Nothing!"

Vash continued to scream, unable to form complete words.

"Just get off him!" Midvalley managed to grab Wolfwood by the legs and pull him bodily back into the van.

"No! Let me out of here! That smell is rancid, I swear to God!"

"Wolfwood, what were you trying to do to me?" Vash wailed, tears streaming down his face, knees together and hands clasped between his legs. "I was dreaming...about this huge donut factory...and then there was...this horrible pain...!"

"Oh, get over it," Wolfwood muttered, trying not to gag from the combined smell of Zazie and the perfume. He wasn't having an easy time of it, as he was a chain smoker and didn't have very good lungs to begin with.

"Don't be such a grouch," Vash pouted, carefully easing his legs apart. "The smell's going away."

"And just to make sure it stays that way," Knives growled, "Zazie will be sitting with me for the rest of the trip. Move to the back, Legato."

The blue-haired man blinked at the plant in disbelief. "But, Master...why?"

"So I can keep an eye on the brat. And if he tries a stunt like that again he's going to be rudely introduced to some concrete highway as soon as we get back up to cruising speed!"

Zazie gulped, knowing full well what his master was capable of when he was angry. "Uh, go on, Legato," he said, poking the psychic in the head. "He wants me in front. Move."

"No! It's my seat! I was here first!"

Knives took a deep, calming breath and immediately began to cough. "Why exactly do you want that damn seat so much?"

"I can see out better from here, I can change the radio stations as much as I want from here, and I don't have to share my snacks with the morons in back from here!" He was also fiercely loyal to his master and didn't like to be far from him for very long, but we won't go into that...

Knives was not amused by his minion's disobedience. "Legato, you will get out of that seat right now or so help me I will shove each and every one of those cinnamon twists up your ass one at a time and sideways!"

Legato whimpered.

"Oh, don't do that, Master Knives," Zazie snickered evilly. "He'd like his punishment way too much!"

As Legato launched himself over the back of his seat at the Beast with a blood-curdling scream of fury, Knives curled into the fetal position behind the wheel and began to rock back and forth. And the traffic stretched on...

O.O.O.O.O

Two hours later...

Vash was humming to himself. "A hundred seventy three bottles of beer on the wall, a hundred seventy three bottles of beer...take one down, pass it around, a hundred seventy two bottles of beer on the–"

"VASH!" Knives yelled in frustration. "Would you please stop singing so I can concentrate? I can not miss this exit, here!"

"And then there's also the fact that you couldn't carry a tune in a tomas trailer," Wolfwood muttered.

Vash didn't care. "Aw, come on, Knives. You won't miss your exit. And it's soooo boring! I need something to do before I die!"

"Please don't be so melodramatic." But Knives did consider his brother's request. "I suppose we could turn on the radio, or something."

"Woo-hoo!" Vash yelled, throwing his arms in the air and nearly slugging Wolfwood in the process. "Put it on country, put it on country!"

"No, Brittany Spears!" Dominique squealed, waving the cd case.

"Cowboy songs!" Zazie protested, holding up his children's cassette.

"No, jazz!"

"Blues!"

"Rock'n'roll!"

Knives sighed, releasing the wheel with one hand to massage his pounding temples. "Legato, you know what to do."

"Yes, Master." Although still pouting somewhat over losing his position in the front seat, the psychic used his telekinetic powers to shoot his master's favorite disk into the CD player. Zazie growled malevolently and began to nibble the corner of his cassette case. It wasn't like he hated the Master's classical music and birdsongs, but it did tend to put the child to sleep, and he couldn't very well have any fun terrorizing his colleagues if he was sawing logs.

"Ah, that's so much better." An instantaneous change seemed to come over Knives as soon as the CD began to play. As the soft notes began to fill the air, his tight frown melted away to become something very like a smile. He began to lightly tap one foot in time with the music. Noticing all this, Legato made his own version of Vash's kawaii face. It made him happy when his master was happy.

In the back, Vash let out a rather loud yawn and leaned himself against Wolfwood's shoulder. The priest, also yawning a bit, turned said shoulder slightly so he and Vash could rest back to back. "G'night, Tongari."

"Night, Nick."

Dominique sighed happily, pulling what was left of her hat down over her good eye, more than ready for a little nap herself. Being trapped in close confines with a mentally unbalanced child and six stupid men for hours upon hours could really wear on a lady.

Rai Dei, glancing quickly around to make sure no one was watching him, pulled his most precious possession from his travel bag: a Kenshin Himura plushie. Clutching the stuffed doll close, the samurai curled up in his seat, content to sleep the rest of the trip away.

And so, all the Gung-Ho Guns settled down to rest–all except Midvalley. He had become slowly restless since the music began, though he didn't quite know why. Now, however, the background noise of the trickling stream in the CD had suddenly become awfully loud... He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Aw, man...I knew I should have gone at Taco Bell.

For a full twenty minutes the Hornfreak was able to deal silently with the growing problem, but he was finally forced to speak up as the van went over several large bumps in the road and made the discomfort all too noticeable. "Uh, hey, Knives...?"

"What?"

"Uh, what are the chances that we could stop for just a few minutes?"

"Why do you need to stop? We just stopped a couple of hours ago."

"Well, uh, I sorta need a little potty break."

The plant groaned. "Oh, Midvalley! Can't it wait? We're only fifteen minutes away!"

Midvalley gulped bravely. "Well, if we're that close...I guess I can try to hold it..."

"Good! Just sit still and think of pleasant things, like the annihilation of the spiders."

"Okay...but Master, do you think you could turn off the trickling water noises now?"

"Oh, I suppose."

Knives turned off the stereo and Midvalley tried desperately to think of dry things. He was doing a pretty good job of it too, until the van swerved across the highway without warning and tossed the Hornfreak into the laps of the sleeping priest and Humaniod Typhoon. "Ermph..." he whimpered pitifully, holding his hands tightly between his legs.

"HOLY SHIT!" Knives screamed, flipping someone off out the window. "You crazy bastard, don't you even know how to attach a camper to your pathetic excuse for a truck properly? We could have been killed! You just shot yourself straight to the top of my spider purge list, asshole!"

"Uh, brother...?" Vash interrupted. "Midi looks sort of funny..."

"I'll say." Wolfwood looked on, slightly amused, as the sax player attempted to do the time-honored potty dance in the seat next to him.

"Keep your pants on! I'm already exceeding the speed limit!"

"Hey, Hornfreak," Dominique sniggered from under her hat, "just pinch the tip. You'll be fine."

"Pinch the tip," Midvalley snarled, unable to hit her due to his hands current higher calling between his legs. "I'll show you pinch the tip, you evil little bi–oh GOD it hurts!"

Five minutes later, the van pulled into the convention grounds, stopping just under the giant black banner adorned with the skull and crossbones that welcomed villains of all make and manner to the event. Midvalley shot out of the van and disappeared into the crowd, desperately searching for a bathroom, port-a-potty, tree, fire hydrant, or anything at all, really. He didn't much care by that point.

Knives stepped out and sighed, stretching his legs. Now the real fun could begin. "Well, here we are. Everyone grab your bags and follow me. Dominique, put the leash on Zazie, would you? When we get to the hotel, just let me do all the talking. I'll register while you find our rooms. And Vash, I want you to lay low for once, alright? You're not even supposed to be at this con at all."

"You got it, bro! Mr. Low Profile, that's me!" Vash attempted to throw a smart, military-style salute and managed to knock one of the poles holding the banner in place. As it collapsed on top of Knives, the van, and their luggage, Kagura slipped off into the crowd, unnoticed.

Making her through the masses to the Feudal Era Villains booth, the wind witch pulled back the curtain and stuck her head inside. "Master Naraku? They have arrived."

Said demon quickly dropped the poster of a certain frigid bee-yotch of a priestess he had been making the kissy face at and rubbed his hands together delightedly. "Ah, perfect! And now, Millions Knives, I shall have my revenge!"

As Naraku laughed his insanely evil laugh, Sessho-maru stood in the background, shaking his head sadly. "Come, Rin," he said, taking the little girl by the hand. "Let's go sign in. Maybe we can get you your own con badge." As the little girl enthusiastically pulled him away from the booth, the dog-demon took one last look back. Naraku was hiding under the table, explaining his brilliant plan of revenge to his Kikyo action figure. Sessho-maru had a bad feeling about this...

O.O.O.O.O

To Be Continued