Bachelor Party

-

Inspired by Episode 78; by the awesome livejournal community four(underscore)by(underscore)four; by my firm conviction that Yondaime was Naruto's father, and that in order to have a son, you've gotta have a wife; and by my own sleepy ponderings on what Team Yellow Flash's first meeting with Gamabunta must have been like. It took a startling different direction, but I like it better this way, anyway.

-

It's not much of a bachelor's party. The giant frog knocking the neck off the next bottle of sake has lost count of all his wives, after all, and the blond young man reclining against one of the frog's enormous legs barely had the time to sneak half a dozen kisses with his fiancée before she was called away on a mission from which no one knows if she'll return. Maybe that's why he's given up on his own small stash of bottles and started dipping his cup into the aromatic pools of the frog's bottles, each standing twice as tall as a man. Gamabunta's alcohol carries a much more potent kick, too.

Konoha's Yellow Flash doesn't often get drunk. But when his team finally struggles up over the hill to find him, he's hard at work on putting the third sheet to the wind.

Rin wrinkles her nose and picks her way carefully through the scattered chunks of broken porcelain littering the grass. "Sensei?" she calls. It's getting dark, and Rin's night-vision has never been terribly good. Then again, her sensei's yellow hair is nearly as easy to spot as Kakashi's silver, and leaning against the massive red pillar of Gamabunta's leg, he's a bright figure in the growing darkness. Rin eyes his flushed cheeks and tousled hair and the thumb rubbing absently at the empty spot on his left ring finger, and she decides to save her lecture on The Evils of Drink for another time.

Kakashi and Obito, however, have never learned tact and wouldn't see the use for it if they had. "Sheesh," Obito says, kicking at a piece of broken bottle bigger than his head. "What happened to you bawling out Jiraiya-sama about getting sloshed every Friday night?"

"'s Thursday," their sensei says, "s'a difference." He blinks at them. "Got no mission tonight. Go home n' sleep."

"No," Kakashi agrees, "but we've got a mission tomorrow, and it's not going to be fun with a hangover."

The Yellow Flash takes a moment to think this over. "Good ninja," he announces at last with dignity, "don't get hungover."

The ground rumbles. Obito stumbles and falls to one knee, scraping his hand on the piece of broken porcelain; Rin wisely chooses a clear spot and sits down, waiting for Gamabunta's laughter to stop. Kakashi, of course, stays on his feet, even though he has to fight to keep his balance as the giant frog laughs. Burning coals tumble out of the Frog Boss's pipe and sizzle into the grass. The Yellow Flash sits down with a thump on Gamabunta's broad hand. "Wasn't a joke," he says, but he's smiling again. "Shoulda said, good ninja who're lucky enough to have Rin-chan on their teams don't get hungover."

Rin grins back at him. "But if you drink much more of Gamabunta-sama's sake, sensei, even I can't do much about the headache you'll have."

"Got a point," the Yellow Flash agrees. He leans his head back against his summons's leg and tells the air, "They were cuter when they didn't talk back."

Kakashi snorts. "We've always talked back," he says.

Gamabunta's pipe trembles again with his rumbling laugh. "None of you kids ever had any respect," he says. "You were the worst of 'em."

"Worse'n Jiraiya-sensei?" the Yellow Flash asks brightly.

Rin giggles. Obito shoves up his goggles and grins. "Nobody's worse than Jiraiya-sama," he says. "And hey, sensei, he says you're getting married. How come you never told us, ne?"

"You think I want you there?" Their sensei skims his cup playfully at Obito, who fumbles the catch but grins anyway. "You'll get in the way, n' you'll eat all the food, n' you'll steal all my dances. Rin-chan can come, though," he adds generously.

"Always useful to have a medic at a wedding," Gamabunta rumbles. "I ever tell you about the time my forty-second wife…"

"Three times," the Yellow Flash says, with a wry grin at his team. "Bunta here collects wives," he explains. "Quarrels with one, hops over and picks up another, poof!"

"She'd kill you if you tried that," Obito says admiringly. "So when's the date, sensei?"

A little of the light darkens in the Yellow Flash's bright blue eyes. "Dunno," he says quietly. "Soon's she gets back, I hope."

"Oh," Obito says. He scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. Rin pushes herself to her feet, ready to collect the boys and herd them back to Konoha to give their sensei this time to himself.

But Kakashi is already moving, silent as always. He plucks the cup from Obito's hand and dips it in a pool of sake left in the shattered bottom of an enormous bottle. "Congratulations," he says quietly, handing the cup up to their sensei. "I hope you'll be happy."

He grabs Obito by the collar and pulls him to his feet, and they've made a startled and stumbling three steps back up the hill before the Yellow Flash collects himself enough to holler after them.

"You guys better be around when we're hunting for baby-sitters!"

"Fat chance," Obito mumbles under his breath. "Got any idea of what his kids'll be like?"

Rin laughs out loud. And this time, even Kakashi smiles.