Part 39 of the Elfwine Chronicles. The Elfwine Chronicles are a series of one-shots built around the family group of Eomer, Lothiriel and Elfwine. The total number will depend on how many ideas I get for new vignettes.

A/N: Boy, couldn't fool you lot! Most of you rightly guessed there would be a romance between Freawine and Theodwyn! I began writing this a while before I wrote "Choices", but set it aside to work on the Harry Potter story, and then was going to come back to it. Theodwyn got such a strong positive reaction in "Lost and Found" that I knew I had to revisit her. I originally had the notion for Theodwyn's "Faramir" to be Eldarion, but then I started writing this and put in Freawine. I decided that a local boy, not royalty, would be a better match for her. I can't see her being happy and thriving on the throne of Gondor. So, when I started writing "Choices", about her first crush, I couldn't resist foreshadowing what would happen a few years down the road.

Some of you thought 10 was a little early for a first crush, but I tried to be a bit vague on that. She was having "feelings" but didn't really know what they were or what they meant, only that she "liked" Haman more than other boys and it hurt when he made the rude remark about her. With Freawine, she has known him all her life since he and Elfwine are close friends, so her crying on his shoulder was mostly just as if she was crying on Elfwine's shoulder. Her biggest hurt was in feeling like she was being rejected for being a shieldmaiden and she believed that was who she truly was. She didn't see why she had to change for anyone (boys or girls) to like her.

I considered making this 4 chapters, which would have split that last chapter in two, but decided it was better read in its entirety. So this story is just 3 chapters long (a total of 14 pages, so they are long chapters).

Theodwyn is 17, Freawine is 25, Elfwine is 24

Acceptance

(July, 25 IV)

Chapter 1

By the Valar, WHY must we have so many feasts! It seems Edoras is constantly celebrating – which entails food, drink and dancing. Though, in truth, I suspect the drink and the dancing are the real purpose behind most of it. It is not that I do not like dancing, but it is always so awkward. Before Elfwine married, he would dance with me often enough to make the evening amusing, as would his friend Freawine. But Elfwine many times did not stay the entire night now that he had a wife and child, and Freawine was frequently away with his eored, as he would be tonight.

Freawine. He had become my closest friend since Elfwine married. It was not that I did not see Elfwine still, but his concerns were naturally more with his new family now. I had come to love Dariel when she stood by my brother through the loss of his hand, despite his disagreeable attitude, but it did not make it any easier not having Elfwine to talk to as much as I had before. Surely Freawine considered me a mere child, but he was always willing to talk with me and listen to my woes, no matter how silly they must seem to him. But it was hard having him away so much. It really wasn't even such that we could write, since the eored was often on the move and not in one place to receive letters.

I flung myself backwards onto my bed. Why did life have to be so difficult? Why could I not join an eored and ride with Freawine?

My thoughts were interrupted by the entrance of my maidservant, and her chatter disturbed my musings. With a sigh, I rose to wash and begin to get ready for the feast. Mother and Father would not be happy with me if I came late.

Once I was dressed and it was time to go to the Golden Hall, I plastered the royal smile upon my face and headed out the door of my bedchamber. I supposed, if nothing else, I could attempt to persuade Theomund to dance a few with me. But I usually avoided that, since he was generally surrounded by a group of silly, giggling girls at these affairs. I did not understand how he could tolerate them, but that was just his way. I suspected that half the time they asked him to dance, and he would willingly dance with anyone who desired it. Though, that was not always a good thing – he had a bad habit of trodding on feet, part of the reason I did not like dancing with him. But his female admirers did not seem to object.

To my surprise, I was among the first to arrive, but there was no point in waiting elsewhere, so I took a seat near the fireplace and petted the dogs while I waited. I grinned to myself as I sat there. Everyone told me how I used to ride the dogs when I was two and not allowed to rides horses as much as I wanted. The dogs had eventually taken to hiding from me until I ceased that activity, and it took several years before they would let me come near them. But now those victims of my youth had long ago passed away, and their offspring had no such apprehensions about me.

My family and some nobles were beginning to trickle into the room, and I moved to take my seat at the head table. Thus, the evening began. Dinner was tolerable, chatting with my family, but my annoyance returned as the plates were cleared and the tables moved back for dancing.

In my younger years, boys had shown little interest in me, considering me too boyish and wild to think of as a girl. To some extent, that changed when Freawine had spent an entire evening dancing with me when I was ten. He was helping to cheer me up from some hurtful words I had overheard spoken about me by Haman and his friends, and it had indeed helped me overcome my distress.

As I grew older, though Mother respected my desire to be a true shieldmaiden of Rohan, she still insisted that I needed to learn the part of a lady. It was difficult to dispute her on this since even my Aunt Eowyn, who I sought to emulate, had been well versed in court etiquette and manners. So, over the last few years, my manners had become more acceptable for a lady, and the boys had grown several inches so that I no longer towered above them. In addition to that, some people had told me that I was a pretty girl, though I took little notice of the compliment. Boys, however, seemed to attach more importance to that, and were more inclined now to approach me to dance.

And so I found myself at a dance yet again, but with little desire to participate. I had moved off to the side, trying to be inobtrusive, but it did not work. I could see Haman and Deor sizing up the girls in the room, and more than once they glanced in my direction.

Lately, Haman had been showing more interest in me. He was the son of one of the nobles in Edoras, and very impressed with himself. No matter how earnest he tried to appear, however, I doubted very much that he had any real feelings for me. All he saw was the daughter of the king, who happened to be quite pretty. Those things alone drew his attention. He did not even know who Theodwyn truly was. At best, he merely tolerated my swordplay and shieldmaiden-type activities. For the life of me, I could not imagine why I had ever thought well of him. Perhaps he was not so insipid when he was younger.

To my great annoyance, I saw him making his way toward me and, unfortunately, he knew I had seen him so it would be rude to scurry away. It appeared as though I would be forced to dance with him, and endure his boasting chatter and self-centered conversation.

He reached for my hand as he came to a stop in front of me, but I knew this trick. He would kiss it politely, but then cling to it longer than was acceptable. I was ready for him and pulled it from his grasp the instant his kiss ended. I saw the flash of irritation in his eyes and was gratified by it.

As I feared, he wanted to dance. "Lady Theodwyn, would you do me the honor of dancing the next with me?"

Every part of me rebelled at the idea, but how could I escape? And then my eyes, looking past his shoulder, fell on a welcome sight. I did not know how it was that Freawine was here, but I was pleased at his presence. Thinking quickly, I smiled and tried to look apologetic. "I am sorry, Haman, but I have already promised the next few dances to Freawine." I nodded toward my approaching friend, "See, he comes for me now."

Before Haman could respond, I slipped past him and went to greet Freawine. As he took my hand to kiss it, I leaned close and whispered, "You have saved me!"

His lips brushed my knuckles a moment, and then his eyes lifted to meet mine as he released my hand. "Indeed. How so?"

The next song was beginning and I reached for his hand, pulling him along with me. "Do not make me out a liar," I whispered. "I told Haman I could not dance with him because I had promised the next to you."

He chuckled in amusement as we took up position. "Lucky for you, then, that I was available. I would never wish to make a liar of you. I am at your service, my lady!" He gave me a slight, mocking bow, and I lightly slapped his arm as we began moving.

We danced the next several in a row, and finally stopped, somewhat winded, on the far side of the hall near the outer doors. Grabbing some wine with one hand, I caught Freawine's arm with the other and pulled him toward the exit. He followed agreeably along, and we slipped out into the night. I led him around to the back terrace and we sat upon the steps there.

We were silent for some time and then he reached for my goblet of wine, telling me, "The least you can do is share, since you did not allow me to get my own wine before dragging me outside."

I glared at him. "How rude! No, I do not think I will share with you!" I pulled the goblet away, but with his longer arms he easily reached around me and caught it, laughing.

After taking a sip, he grinned at me. "You are hardly showing your appreciation for my saving you from Haman!"

I laughed and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "That deserves more thanks than a mere goblet of wine, I assure you!"

"With such pleasant gratitude, I feel inspired to ask you to dance 'the next' with me always! There – now you have a standing invitation, and need only make sure I am present and available before using it to thwart would-be partners!"

We lapsed into companionable silence again after laughing together. At length, I began a conversation. "How is it that you are here, anyway? We did not expect your eored back for another two days."

He nodded. "It was planned so, but we had heard of the feast and Garod let us decide whether to ride longer and hasten our return, or come home as scheduled. The men did not want to miss the opportunity for ale and dancing with pretty women. Apparently I was the only one not very interested in hurrying our return."

I elbowed him in the ribs. "Liar! You like ale and pretty women as much as the next man! Do you think I have been blind all these years and did not see?"

He laughed again, rubbing at his side. "I did not think you blind, I just did not think you noticed!"

He sobered slightly and asked, "How have you been, Theodwyn?"

I sighed, wondering what to tell him. Laying my head on his shoulder, I finally answered, "I am well, but I should much rather be riding with your eored than sitting here trying to learn womanly pursuits and courtly manners. All that does is attract the attention of boys like Haman, who see me as a jewel to ornament their household rather than a person. Must I surrender who I am in order to marry and have a family? Is there not a man somewhere who can love a shieldmaiden?"

My questions were more rhetorical than anything, and I did not expect him to have any answers for me, but still he replied, "Your Aunt Eowyn found such a man, though she had to go to war in Gondor to do it. Perhaps you will have to do likewise." There was an odd, sad tone to his voice that I had never heard before and wondered at.

I lifted my head and looked at him. "I do not wish to leave the Mark. Do you really think no such man exists here?" I was almost afraid of his answer.

He smiled gently at me. "We may hope there is. You are young yet. Do not despair." He slipped an arm around my shoulders and gave them a reassuring squeeze.

With a sigh, I lay my head back on his shoulder. "I have missed you, Freawine. I am glad you are home for a while."

And then we lapsed into silence again.

It turned out that we did not return to the hall that night, preferring instead to sit and talk under the stars. By the time we realized how late it was, and slipped off to our beds, we had agreed to meet the next day and go for a picnic so we could talk more.

xxxxx

I woke as usual, feeling slightly let down at the thought of the boring day ahead, and then I remembered. Freawine had returned and we were to ride together. Reinvigorated, I bounded up from the bed and quickly dressed. I haphazardly combed through my hair, pulling it back in a long tail rather than taking the time to braid it.

I scarfed down a late morning meal and then hurried to the kitchen to arrange for a basket of food. Once that was obtained, I headed for the stable to saddle my horse. While I was doing so, Freawine sauntered in. "I thought I would find you here. Anxious to be on our way, I see." He smiled at me in amusement, so I made a face at him.

"We could have left sooner," I retorted, "if you were not so lazy about rising this morning!"

He let out a laugh and shook his head. "Nice try, my lady, but I have already been to the Golden Hall and seen my father, who mentioned that you had just put in appearance a short time ago! I am not the only lazy one this morning!"

I laughed good-naturedly at being caught and handed him the food basket. He eyed me a moment, and then told me, "Let me take your horse while you go and get your sword. We must either go armed ourselves or take an escort."

I couldn't quite suppress the thrill of delight that shot through me at his words. This was how I wanted it to be – men able to think it perfectly natural that I should be armed. I gave his cheek a quick kiss and raced from the stable, hearing his laughter trailing behind me.

Moments later, we were on our way. We rode slowly for a while, to let the horses get warmed up, and then raced to a spot along the stream near a thick grove of trees. The sun had risen high in the sky, and was beginning to make the day quite warm. We tethered and tended the horses, and then settled down on a blanket in the shade of the trees. We were not yet hungry, so we talked for a time and then I grinned mischievously at him as I scrambled to my feet. "Race you to the stream!" I called, taking off down the slope.

I heard his shout of protest as he followed, and a moment later we had shed our swords and boots on the stream bank and were splashing in the water. Refreshed, and a bit tired, we collected our things and moved back to our campsite to eat. I had strapped my sword back on, but Freawine laid his down on the blanket while he went to get the food basket. I was squeezing the water from my hair, when I heard the voice.

Whirling around, I found Freawine with a dagger to his throat and two men leering at me. "Well, well, ain't this our lucky day. Two fine horses and a pretty little girl to play with!"

He licked his lips in anticipation of his evil thoughts, and Freawine exclaimed, "If you touch a single hair on her head, I will kill you!"

I had rarely seen him so angry, but the man just laughed as Freawine's captor pressed the blade a little closer. "Seems to me, you ain't in no position to do anything about it, boy!"

He had turned away from me to smirk at Freawine, and instantly I drew my sword. I was a shieldmaiden. I would not allow this insult without a fight. Freawine's captor laughed nervously, and nodded his head in my direction, drawing the other man's attention back to me.

"Oh, looky, the little girl wants to play! Put the sword down, missy, before you hurt yourself."

He took a step toward me, lifting his own sword as he did. My blade came up and in a flash I had knocked his blade from his grasp. As I swung my blade back into defensive position, he darted toward me and suddenly he was impaled on my sword point. The other man, without thinking, backed away from Freawine and took off running, leaving his companion to his fate.

I stood staring at the man, bleeding on the ground, my sword protruding from him and his dead, astonished eyes unseeing. I stumbled blindly a few feet away and fell on my knees, retching. A moment later, Freawine's strong arms encircled me from behind and he held me til the purging subsided. Pulling me to my feet, he turned me so I would not see the dead body. When I made to turn my head and look, he pressed himself in front of me. "Do not look," he whispered urgently in my ear. "It is over, and we must get you home quickly. Do not look." There was some note in his voice that I could not quite identify, but I did as he bid. I knew he was trying to help me.

He got me onto my horse and recovered our belongings. I was hesitant to take my sword, though he had wiped it clean of the blood, but he pressed it into my hand. His eyes met mine and he told me firmly, "You are a shieldmaiden of Rohan. Take your sword." With a swallow, I nodded and straightened in the saddle, resheathing my sword while he mounted beside me.

We were silent most of the way back to Edoras. Finally, still a few leagues out, I could stand it no longer, and pulled my horse to a halt. "Freawine, I have killed a man. What will happen to me?" I was beginning to tremble and I hastily dismounted, hoping to hide my silly, girlish reaction to all this. But my knees nearly buckled as I dropped to the ground, and once more Freawine was quickly beside me, putting a steadying arm around my waist and leading me to some nearby rocks.

He pushed me down to sit upon the rocks and stood in front of me. Quietly, he answered, "You were defending yourself. And he ran upon your blade. I am a witness to that. You will not be blamed for anything."

While his words were reassuring, still my trembling did not cease, and he stepped in closer and wrapped his arms around me. And then, to my very great embarrassment, he held me as I cried. I, who had tried so hard to be a good shieldmaiden, who had thought myself capable of riding to war, was sitting here weeping like some silly, pretentious girl that I so despised. I would be a laughingstock when it was discovered. Aunt Eowyn would be embarrassed by my cowardice. How could I ever hold my head up again?

It was almost as though Freawine read my thoughts, for he reached down and lifted my chin so he could look into my eyes. "No one, man or shieldmaiden, kills a person for the first time without being sickened by it. I have seen many who have killed someone, and seen their reaction. You have nothing to be ashamed of in how it has affected you. Indeed, I would be greatly worried if you could kill someone and have no reaction at all. There is a great deal of difference between sparring with someone and winning by gaining the upper hand, and in fighting someone to the death. When your sword takes a life, war does not seem so glorious a thing after all." He pulled me against him again and stroked my head soothingly, until my tears stopped and hiccupping breaths ceased.

Though it still felt weak of me, I clung to him, my arms around his waist and my head pressed to his chest. I was grateful that he had been with me for my first time in battle, and moreso that he was the only one who had seen me in my weakness. He would not tell anyone, nor would he hold it against me. Taking a deep breath of resolve, I forced myself to my feet and gave him a shaky smile. "Thank you," I murmured.

He gave me a tender smile and put an arm around my shoulders. "Let us get you home."

We returned to our horses and continued on to Edoras in silence. Once our horses were tended, we walked up to the Golden Hall together and I left him to go wash and change clothes. A short time later, I returned, hoping he might still be around, but found him in the midst of an angry group that included his father, my parents and Elfwine. Apparently he had informed them of what had happened on our outing, and my father was berating him.

"What were you thinking taking her out there without an escort?" Father bellowed.

Before Freawine could answer, I stepped into the room and moved to his side. I knew he would take the blame for me, but I had been the instigator of our outing and I should take responsibility for my actions. "Father, Freawine is not at fault for what happened. I invited him on the outing, and it seemed we would be safe enough since we were both armed. It was just an unfortunate turn of events that the two thieves got the better of us. We would have been safe enough had we been alerted to their presence."

My father was pacing angrily before us, but came to a stop in front of me and I blanched at the look upon his face. But suddenly he brushed a strand of hair back from my eyes and pulled me into a crushing hug. "You are unhurt?"

With effort I replied from where my face was pressed into his shoulder. "Yes, Father. I am well."

He pulled back to look at me, and I realized how frightened he was that something might have taken me from him. I had always known that my father loved me, but the look on his face right now made me aware of just how much he cared. I straightened and tried to stand proudly before him, and his eyes misted as a smile tweaked his mouth. "So like Eowyn," he murmured, almost too low for me to hear. But I smiled in acknowledgement of the comparison.

My father's eyes shifted back to Freawine and he moved to stand in front of him, his hands behind his back. His eyes bored into Freawine and I was amazed he could manage to hold Father's gaze. Finally, Father's hand came up and cupped the back of Freawine's neck tightly. "Thank you for seeing her safely home, Freawine. If you venture out on any more picnics, I trust you will be more alert to danger in the future?"

Freawine gave a half smile of relief. "Yes, my lord! You may depend on it!"

We all slowly dispersed after that, and I gave Freawine another grateful smile before he turned to leave. I saw Elfwine move to follow him, and knew he would not rest until he had pumped Freawine for all the details of what had taken place.

End note: It is not essential that you read the Elfwine Chronicles in the order they were written, but there is an advantage to doing so. The more of them that I wrote, the more likely I was to make reference to one of the previous ones and something that happened there. If you want to read them in order, go to the top of this page and click on my name (Deandra). That will take you to my profile page. Scroll down and you will find all the stories I have written. The Elfwine Chronicles are in order from bottom to top since ffn shows them in the order they were posted. A few were posted out of number order (#15 came after #17, I think), but you can read them in posting order or number order since those few won't be affected in the story content.