Title: "Crazy Sunshine"
Summary: WIP "Because, really, I just need someone to be there for me when I fall…"
Genre: Angst / Romance
Pairing: Kanau / Ichi
Rating: PG-13
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((Suki dakara suki…)
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
-Iris
(Daisuke dakara daisuke.))
Chapter Two
I arched my neck back until my head bumped the walls. Casting a furtive glance at the peacefully sleeping boy, wondering if I'd really done him a favor, as everyone had said I did. They were all gone, fishing around for his body, but every so often I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. When this happened, I'd always check to see if Ichi was awake yet, though he never was.
Half-past ten, I was beyond worrying if I was losing my mind, more onto worrying where I could find it.
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Okay. I'll admit it. I fell asleep, I wasn't supposed to, and I woke up to the reason I wasn't supposed to.
Ichi had his face pressed close to mine, curiosity etched into every detail. "Who are you?" He asked. I laughed lightly. I'd been here all this time, entered the shrine for the first time the day that he did. "I'm nobody," I assured him. "I don't matter." He frowned, looking a bit more confused than before. Regardless, his lips stayed pursed while he backed away. Once at a reasonable distance, however, every question in his mind bore on his face. "So… What am I doing here? Where's everyone else?"
"Looking for you…?" I offered. I knew he wouldn't understand, but how were you supposed to tell someone that all of their friends were out looking for their possibly dead body? "Whelp," I said, shrugging the odd feeling in my stomach, something akin to pity, but not quite. "We need to go." I grabbed his arm before he could question me any further and headed to the bridge once more.
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I think I would have cried. I hadn't even realized that this whole ordeal had shoved Senpai from mind completely. When my eyes fell over the bridge, however, my eyes stung and I had to bite my lip to hold in the tears.
This method worked for a whole of one minute before my lip began spilling blood into my mouth, and the stinging accelerated a couple times. Math phrases? my mind supplied as tears began to well, and I rushed to the water, splashing my face to buy time. 28.000625 x 5968 divided by X equals fifty-two. X is? 310336... Times… No! "Ugh…" I voiced. If anyone had been looking at my eyes, they would have seen my mind reeling (thankfully, no one had), and probably would have heard the squeaking of pain as dust spurted everywhere.
Living with Mikuni was definitely not good for my brain.
Sighing, I looked up at everyone off-shore in greeting, them having only just noticed our presence. They seemed to consult with each other before heading over to us. No doubt they'd been wondering what to tell Ichi.
I subconsciously held my breath when Mitsuo came over to me, but let it out when he just nodded at me and continued to Ichi. He probably wanted to know what I'd told him. It didn't matter, because if I told Mitsuo how much I'd told Ichi, then I wouldn't get to laugh at their idle nervous chatter.
Besides, I wanted to be the one to tell Ichi.
I don't care, really, how selfish it was. It was my fault. This day couldn't have been weirder, I think, and I wanted to be weird, too. I didn't want to be me, because then none of it would matter. Not Senpai. Not death. Not Mikuni's damn cigarette jumping up and down as he cursed, and definitely not me. So I laughed. I picked up my apron, laughed, let the tears spill over my face and I spun like there was no tomorrow, dancing away conscious thought.
Dancing away something like life. Because that, that I didn't need.
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"Tell me."
I blinked as Mikuni's hands flew to the wall on either side of me. "Tell me what's so special about today." Mitsuo winced from the small crowd to my left. So, he'd told. Maybe it was his idea of a confession, to make this not his fault.
I decided, right then and there. It doesn't matter. "I died." And with that, I walked through his arm and outside, where I could reside under a tree. I felt their eyes boring into me and I winced.
Oh well.
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(A/N: Hmm. Sorry, I felt random today. At the top: Suki dakara suki means "I like you because I like you," and daisuke dakara daisuke means "I love you because I love you. It doesn't really fit… But it will later.)