The End of Heartache

By Comalies

Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "The End of Heartache" by Killswitch Engage, nor do I own what rightfully belongs to the people who created and have rights to Teen Titans.

Author Notes: This is a songfic to "The End of Heartache". The pairing is Raven/Robin. You no like Raven/Robin? Either give this a fair chance anyway, or bugger off and go read a pairing you like. I will not tolerate flames on the pairing. I welcome and expect critical reviews.

Enjoy.

Richard Grayson stared a long time at nothing before realizing that several hours had passed since last moving. When he did move, his stiff muscles protested. He had spent much of his time like this since returning from a trip to Gotham City a week earlier. His mentor, Bruce Wayne (aka the Batman), was getting a bit old for the job these days. A job that should have been easy enough had put the man in bed for two weeks to recover.

Though the details of the 'accident' were sketchy at best (Bruce insisted that it was none of their business how it had happened, so they only knew what Albert and Tim could glean from the nature of the injuries), Richard knew deep in himself that Bruce had to soon find a person to take over the position or risk much greater harm to his person. It was time for Bruce Wayne to acknowledge that even super heroes got old, and had to retire.

And this sudden fallibility in his mentor frightened Richard. When he'd heard of Bruce's accident, he had been terrified that his adopted father was seriously injured (which though he wasn't, this incident still proved that he was slipping). The Batman was one of few people that Richard had ever really become attached to, since...

Well, since.

The only others who had gotten close to him were dead.

No, that was a lie. There was one person who understood him, and not just because she was an empath and had seen into the depths of his mind. Raven Roth was probably his best friend. The one who had formed the Teen Titans with him. The only person likely to understand why this situation bothered him so much.

Seek me

He stretched out his protesting muscles before he turned to walk back into the Tower. Even dressed in plainclothes now, instead of his Robin uniform, he still wore the mask. He couldn't afford to be identified by the local people. That would be a liability.

All of the Titans, with the exception of Raven, had aliases. All of them had reasons to hide who they had been; to forget the past.

Richard knew a bit of each of their histories; more of some than others.

Of them all, only Raven's was hard to comprehend to him. In each of their pasts, there was some love, some understanding. For Raven, this was not true. She had not been loved, but feared. She had not been understood, but treated with caution bordering on insult.

Even now, four years since the destruction of her father, she was skittish when it came to emotions. She swore it was because her powers were tied directly to her empathy, but Richard had come to wonder if it wasn't because she was afraid of getting hurt.

She had no reason to believe that people could love her; would want to love her.

Call me

For solace

When he cautiously tapped on her door, he was not surprised that it opened almost immediately. Raven stood in the partially open doorway, dressed in her usual attire.

Richard's mind immediately processed that neither one of them were children anymore. He had grown several inches and was now just over six foot. Raven would never be extremely tall, but had capped at about 5'4". Her hair was longer than it had been, and framed her pallid features as if she had just woken up.

"Did I wake you?" he commented with a faint smirk. She shook her head, but he knew he hadn't. She would not have answered the door so quickly if he had. "Can I come in?"

She stepped aside and let the door slide open. "Of course." When she turned back into the room, she murmured a word under her breath and several candles lit at once, bringing quite a bit more light into the room. She chose a comfortable black armchair, and motioned him to sit as well. He leaned against her desk, instead.

"What is it, Robin?"

This distance, this dissolution

For a moment he wondered why he had come to her. She couldn't understand this, could she? Who did Raven love? Did she even have people she counted as family?

Her words, four years past spoken, came to him in a rush.

"I was raised by my friends!"

He hesitated before pushing on. Yes, she would understand. The Titans were her family.

"It's about Bruce." he muttered. She nodded. No doubt she had expected this, and there was no reason she shouldn't. This subject had been troubling the young man since his return. "I worry he's going to get himself killed. I-" he paused.

"You don't want to lose him. He's like a father to you." she supplied, tone even and unreadable. He started and looked her straight in the eye. She all but physically flinched at the surprise. "I can understand that, Robin." she stated. He knew that he had bruised her, with that look, and wondered why it would bother her so much.

"You're right... I don't want to lose him. He's done so much for me. I don't want to see him get hurt."

I cling to memories while falling

A million little memories flooded over him, and he was filled with a falling sensation. He panicked, nearly, but a firm and steady presence grounded him. He steadied himself. He looked over at Raven to see that she had a faint flush to her face.

"You can't let yourself get caught up in things like that." She stood and crossed the room, keeping her back to him.

Robin closed his eyes. Bruce had never been easy on him, but he had never been horrible either. He had been firm, direct, concise. He had been kind, in his own way, and thought it was years after leaving Gotham that he realized that.

"Thanks for listening." he muttered, pushing to a standing position. "I just needed to-"

"Stop lying, Robin." she cut him off, turning around. "You haven't worked anything out in your mind. If anything, you're more troubled now." She backed off a step and closed her eyes.

Sleep brings release, and the hope of a new day

He said nothing for a long moment and she finally moved to the side and motioned him towards the door.

"I'll see you later."

Confused more than ever before, he fled her room and headed to his own. Once settled, he fell asleep pretty quickly, but he woke hours later with the memories of falling.

As the sun bled through his threadbare curtains, he rolled out of bed and crossed to his wardrobe. When he opened the doors, he eyed his Robin costume with disgust. He couldn't bring himself to don it.

Perhaps, he mused as he dressed in khakis and a black t-shirt, it was time to retire Robin and grow into something else.

When he entered the living room of Titans' Tower, a blinking red light on the answering attested to a missed call the night before. He keyed it on and headed for the kitchen while it played.

Waking the misery of being without you

"Message One, received 02:17 A.M." The time alone caused Robin to pause and wait for the message to play, concern filling him. "Richard... I don't know how to say this, but... Bruce died just after midnight... he got back to work too quickly, and the Joker got him. I'm sorry, Richard... the showing is in two days, and funeral the day after."

Tim's broken voice played on repeat in his head. He barely remembered falling back against the kitchen wall, or sliding to the floor.

Bruce was gone. Gone. Gone. Dead.

He didn't cry, wasn't sure he remembered how to cry... but he wished he did.

Surrender, I give in

He managed to get to his feet. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there, shaking uncontrollably. Days? Minutes? Seconds? Years? He didn't know.

He managed to get to his room, to throw a few things into a bag.

Before he was completely packed, a knock resounded through his room. He didn't want to answer it, but the other option was to go out the window and he wasn't sure he could balance on the ledge in his current condition.

So he answered it. Raven stood there, concern written on her face.

"Robin, what happened?"

He shook his head, unable to speak. He tried to move past her, but the slight little witch wasn't going to let him get away so easily.

"Robin!"

He paused. He could go right through her, he could-

What was he thinking?

Another moment is another eternity

"Bruce died." he managed. She paled and bit her lip.

"I'm so sorry, Robin." she breathed, hugging him fiercely. For the briefest of moments, he felt safe, and like everything might be ok again. Some day. She pulled back and looked up at him. "You're going back to Gotham?"

He nodded.

"I'll go with you." she stated, turning to walk back into the hall, and towards her own room. When he began to protest, she cut him off. "You shouldn't be traveling alone when you're this upset." she hesitated. "Unless you'd rather Starfire or Cyborg go with you." she added quietly.

He shook his head. Cyborg just wouldn't get it and Starfire...

He couldn't deal with her naivety or her unknowing sympathy. When it came down to it, he could tolerate Raven right now... but probably not anyone else.

Seek me for comfort

Call me for solace

She could understand him; could understand when he needed comfort, and when the solace of silence would be better. She would know, and not intrude.

"No, not them. I'd be glad to have you come." he managed. His voice was raspy and forced, but she didn't seem to expect any better.

When she met him in the hanger bay below the lake, her own things stuffed neatly into a black messenger bag, he had already prepped the T-ship for a flight to Gotham. She had stopped by to leave a note for the others, which had held her up several minutes more than she had originally meant to be gone.

The long flight was filled with lots of silence and a few neutral conversations that lasted only a few minutes. Raven understood his need to grieve, and respected it.

She was left with a feeling that she couldn't understand. Not quite envy, but something similar. Perhaps it was the idea that Robin had someone to grieve over. When her own father had died, she had felt nothing but relief to be out of his grasp; that the world was safe.

I'll be waiting

For the end of my broken heart

She shifted and watched Robin. She knew he was in pain, and wished for a way to ease it. She knew several breathing exercises designed to bring calm, but none would work here. None could combat this kind of pain.

When they landed, they were met by an aged old man primly dressed in a butler's uniform and a teenager who had quite obviously been crying moments before.

"Master Richard." the elder man greeted. The younger of the two tried to speak, but broke down again. Richard crossed the distance between them and embraced the younger boy like his little brother.

Raven hesitated before approaching the older man. She knew he too was grieving, but he had years of practice at being stoic in these sort of situations. Since Richard looked a bit too preoccupied with consoling the younger boy as best he could, she introduced herself to the butler.

"My name is Raven Roth... I'm sorry for the loss you all have suffered." she shook hands with Alfred, as the man introduced himself.

"We will all miss Master Bruce." Alfred said, but Raven knew, somehow, he meant that much more deeply than it had been said.

Seek me- Completion

Call me- I'll be waiting

Several hours later Raven was settled into her room. She had withdrawn after dinner, claiming she had a bit of a headache. She knew that she would be intruding to stay while the three mourned. Her duties as companion to Robin seemed complete. She could go home now.

She couldn't, and she knew it. For several years, she had known she could never leave Robin. Not since he hadn't given up on her. Not since he had gone to hell and back to save her, when he had no real reason to believe she was still alive.

Love had bloomed from that seed. She didn't want to admit to it at first, because of Starfire. The alien girl was a good friend, and she didn't want to sabotage what those two might have.

The relationship had come and gone, and still Raven hesitated to tell Robin how she felt.

She was waiting... and may be forever.

I'll be waiting

For the end of my broken heart

Richard stood by the side of Bruce's coffin two days later, struggling with himself. Raven stood next to him, and slightly behind. She was a sturdy presence, his anchor. She was the reason he hadn't gone on a homicidal killing spree. She was his reason, when his own was faulty.

Fighting for something to focus on besides the still form of the only father he could remember properly, he focused on her.

He loved her, he realized. It had been a long time since he had dared think that of her, but it was still as true as it had been then, so many years ago.

She had broken his heart with rejection once. Could he trust her not to do it again?

You know me-

You know me all too well

She touched his elbow and gently led him along until they were in a quiet side room of the funeral home. She had sensed his need for a moment of quiet, and acted upon it when his own body wouldn't.

Her firm hand on his shoulder had him sitting down on the small sofa before he realized what she was doing, and a glass of cool water was in his hand seconds later.

She strode over to the window, her back to him. Polite, he noted.

"Thanks." he managed after downing half of the water in a single gulp. She glanced at him.

"You'd do the same for me." she returned, tone light. He nodded slightly and stood, crossing to stand behind her.

"I would. You know me pretty well."

She shivered at that comment, but when she turned her eyes were steady.

"You know me better than anyone else." was her response.

My only desire - to bridge our division

He took her hands in his and turned them palm up. Without the large gems adorning the backs, they looked small, fragile. Without the heavy cloak and skintight bodice, Raven looked smaller herself.

She looked fragile, but she wasn't. That was the difference. She could take a beating, and come back for more.

But not emotionally. This divide that separated them stemmed on that. She was afraid, and he assumed.

Why did he assume?

He leaned over and kissed her. The kiss was soft and chaste, but she didn't fight him over it. She didn't pull away. When he finally did, there was a color to her cheeks that wasn't from temper.

He smiled faintly. "Are you willing to cross the divide?"

She nodded and slipped her arms around his waist. "I am." She stood there, head pillowed against his chest, and acting as his anchor in all this. "I want to help you get through this before anything else." she added. She slid an arm around his waist, and he put an arm across her shoulders.

She supported him, all but physically, as he reentered the room. He wanted to bolt. He'd done this once. He wasn't sure he could go back up there. He wasn't sure he could really believe that Bruce was gone.

"Bruce."

In sorrow I speak your name

And my voice mirrors my torment

The harshness to his tone mirrored the pain. The floodgates had been opened when Raven had come stepping into his arms. Now, he could feel it all. Grief, pain, loss. It all bombarded him at once and he felt ready to crumble. He felt his eyes water and fought it.

Raven looked up at him, whole-heartedly concerned. She whispered something, which dulled it for a moment before the feelings overwhelmed him and he was left in a storm of pain.

Am I breathing?

My strength fails me

He fought to breath steadily, but that failed. He was rasping for air as Raven struggled to lead him away from the coffin, away from the source of this loss.

A picture formed in his mind: a faint smile on Bruce's face when they'd talked shortly after Richard had become a Teen Titan. The pride in those dark eyes had been so important to him, so much of an accomplishment.

He would treasure that picture forever.

Your picture

A bitter memory

But not all memories of the Batman were as good. A million screw-ups, a million times that Bruce could had said something encouraging, but didn't. A million reasons that Richard couldn't stand the older hero.

A million reasons he was stronger for it now, he realized absently.

The feelings passed, slowly. Raven looked up at him, obviously concerned for him.

For comfort, for solace

"Raven, don't leave me."

She nodded to herself. "I won't."

She was his solace in that lost moment. She was his comfort. His anchor.