CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
Only Us

"Tell me time has stopped…tell me there isn't a tomorrow," I whisper rocking my week old son, my eyes on the luggage sitting across the room.

"Only if you tell me there was no yesterday," Obi-Wan grunts, carrying our two and half year old daughter to her bed, tucking her in.

"She's snoring," I laugh tears running down my cheeks. My heart aches, I am dying inside. The day has come, the day I've known has been coming…the day I've been told I should have prepared for…the day I could barely register let alone get ready for.

"She's going to be okay," my husband whispers to me, but his are eyes on Leia so I know his words are as much to bolster his own breaking soul as mine. I see his unsteady hands and tear filled eyes. I see a father who can only say goodbye to his daughter… by not "We'll see her soon. This isn't it; we'll be together again soon—soon."

He takes Luke, our innocent darling new born son, from my arms and I kneel beside Leia's bed. I run my hand over her brown curls, I kiss her cheeks then pull slightly back so I can whisper in her ear—I see the splotches of wet where my tears fell, "Leia angel, I love you more then I can ever express. You are my daughter; nothing can ever change that…nothing can take you from me, not entirely. You live inside of me, inside my heart. It tears me apart to leave you! I love you, I'd do anything for you…I am doing, we are doing, your father and I the hardest thing we have ever done, for you. We're giving you up, but only for a time…" I choke and gasp over my words.

Even though I've had all this time to think of how to say goodbye a mother can never find the words, can never find a way to make this okay…there is no way you can accept this agony.

"We love you. You won't remember us…You'll grow up smart and beautiful. You will be loved and cherished. You will know right and you'll know wrong. You are so special my angel. You are our rain, our special rain that gives a tangible, touchable sign of your father's and I love. You are our daughter! Please—I hope that even though in time you won't remember our names—our faces will blur with time…our existence will fade from your memory, that you will still always remember you were loved! You are loved…darling you are loved!" I kiss her cheeks once more praying this is finding its way to her heart…that it's planted firmly in her soul.

I find my feet and stumble away, my legs rubber and stomach knotted. Tears soak my face…my dress…her blanket.

Obi-Wan turns Luke back over to me and steps to his daughter carefully taking her teddy bear from under her clutched arm removing it's Jedi robe...Removing this link to her past, removing one more link to him from her. My knees give at this—his broken face and I crumble to a chair tears falling fresh drowning me.

"I will always be there for you Leia. You might not know it and you certainly won't know I'm your father but you can count on me no matter what. I've tried to protect you, I've failed…I'm sorry for that. I would give my live if I could undo this, go back and give you a chance for a better life but I can't! I can only do this, though it kills my soul, to protect you, your brother now. One day LeiaBear…you'll understand. You'll understand why we had to go…and why I can't say goodbye…I love you."

He kisses the top of her head like he has done since she was born. He comes back to me breathing jaggedly and those silent telling tears touching the corners of his eyes.

"Let's go," he says hoarsely taking our bags and my arm. Somehow, we make it out of our daughter's room.

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"I can't tell you what this means...Please…take care of her!" I plead as I hug my best friend, my sister, Anna Grace, Queen of Aurora and now surrogate mother to my daughter.

"Like she was my own…Padmé, I don't know the pain you are going through or how you are going on…" I see the tears and the struggle reflecting in her eyes, "But know that I will keep her safe, that she will have everything my title, my credits, my planet can give her!"

"Just love her…please just love her…" I whisper.

"I will, she will be my pride and joy, and one day, when she is old enough I will tell her about you, her parents."

"You can't!" Obi-Wan breaks in voice broken and adamant.

"I just mean about you fighting the War, standing up to the Emperor…She will, if is anything like her parents, and we know she is, she will be working in that Rebel base that's in her backyard just as soon as she can. She will know of her parents even if she doesn't know that you are her parents."

I shiver, Leia knowing about us, but not knowing us? I don't know if it's comforting or heartbreaking. But then again I don't seem to know anything any more.

"Just keep her safe Anna. Knowing about us could put her in danger, Jedi aren't welcome in this galaxy anymore, the Galactic Senate is no longer in existence, and let's not forget, we lost the War."

I open my mouth to defend him, to say…I don't know what I want to say but I do know Obi-Wan is dying from the inside out and I don't know how to heal him or if I can.

"Just keep her safe Anna, please. Just let her grow up knowing the safety of these palace walls, let her have a childhood before the Empire can strip her of that too. Please love her…" Obi-Wan pleads.

Anna's tears dam and she straightens her shoulders, I know the act to polarize the fear all too well. Split it from you put it away from you so you can breathe, so you can move. Break from it so you can survive.

"I already do. You've given me a great gift, a great responsibility. That little girl is a part of you…she's…" she chokes up grasping one of my hands and one of Obi-Wan's.

"Peace be with you Anna," Obi-Wan nods and we break away while we still can. We have to walk away…I pray we will still be able to stand when this is all over.

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"Take care of her, protect her above all else. This is your greatest mission. I am trusting you with our greatest treasure," I tell Artoo and Threepio as I load the last bag onto the Platinum Ebony.

"Yes, Master. Mistress Leia will be our charge," Threepio rotates his arm in a show of an oath.

"Bweep, woo, woo," Artoo affirms.

"Thank you faithful droids," I nod with satisfaction.

They leave the landing area and I stand looking alone at my ship. Life is changing. My former pupil fell and died on the charred surface of Mustafar only to rise again as the Sith Lord Vader. An evil cyborg human that is at this very moment bringing darkness and suppression to millions…this is what he has become. I failed to end it that night because I loved him I believed there to be good him and because I lost my neutral Jedi objectivity he was allowed to fall so far and hurt so many. Because I loved him, I couldn't stand there watching, making sure he died. I thought I had left him to be consumed by the lava, by Fate. Inside Fate veered left not right…and Darkness prevailed.

The Force dipped into the dark and fated me to be separated from my children. Everything that I hold dear to me is being, or has been taken. My fellow Jedi have been slaughtered, my Order that I pledged my life to has been destroyed. Coruscant, my home since I can remember has been devastated beyond recognition and because we are too recognizable my wife and I can't even return to the home where we were wed, had our child at. Now my children are now being taken! Tell me how is this right? Tell me where is the Force? Where is my intervention? Why when I have strived to do everything right, acted just as the Force deemed I should—risking every relationship important to me in the process—am I now seemingly being punished? Tell me where is my salvation?

Life is always changing, always rearranging and progressing as it always has. It just seems this time life is going to be very hard to want to try and live.

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"Why Obi-Wan? We had to give up Leia but why Luke too?" I ask trying to fight back tears. My question is futile, I know the answer—I just don't want to believe it.

"Padmé, I don't want to do this, I don't want to walk away! He is our child and unlike Leia, he will never have the chance to know our love…and it kills me! I wish I knew why we had to do this…I wish I knew for certain but I don't!" he answers venomously. He's angry, and he has a right to be. I shouldn't keep pushing I don't mean to, but I can't help it. I don't mean to hurt him…

Our arms wrap around each other and we hide Luke in our robes sheltering him from the sand storm swirling around us.

What would happen if I have it all up now? What if I fell to my knees right here in this ocean of unyielding, unforgiving sand and refused to move? Refused to move forward or back…What if I say no, that I am not strong enough for this.

My husband would carry me. The knowledge of that warms my iced over heart and deadens my mind to the hurt our impending actions will bring. My children are being taken from me. My worst fear, the deepest agony imaginable is coming true.

We continue to press on. We pass the small marker of Cliegg Lars who died years ago…My eyes rest on Shmi's marker beside his. She gave up her son to be a Jedi…and he became a Sith. She gave up her little boy for better things, for greater things, he failed her as he failed so many others.

She gave up her son as I am now giving up my daughter and son. I always respected and was in awe of her and her strength. Now I envy her. I envy her strength and her ability to let go… and that she had nine years with her son before she surrendered him to the cold hands of Fate. There is so much I want to teach this little boy I hold in my arms, things I was able to do with Leia, things I will never be able to do with Luke. I want to cradle him like I did Leia, I want to tell him how much I love him and how he even now so tiny and new looks like his father. I want to watch him as he discovers his world, his big sister and plays with his father. I want to see him take his first steps, say his first word…I want to be there.

I want him to know my love so he can remember it! But he won't. He'll never know.

How I made it to the door step of Owen and Beru Lars without planting my feet in defiance I'll never now.

"He's beautiful, he's perfect!" Beru coos taking Luke from my arms.

If not for Obi-Wan holding me up I would crumble. Even in his own grief, he helps me stand.

"We'll be on planet…in hiding. The galaxy isn't safe for us now. We know you'll take great care of him and we can't thank you enough," Obi-Wan shakes Owen's hand.

"It's our absolute honor…we can't have children of our own so this gift is so much more then we can express! He will be raised knowing of you, of how brave you and your wife are…He'll know," Owen smiles.

"No, no he won't, he can't. Let him believe you are his parents; let him carry your name. He can't know us till Fate is right," Obi-Wan grits his teeth, trying not be angry, not to be hurt, not to break. I know.

"Fine…but he will know you…" the men stand gazes locked and some understanding passes between them and they hug. I face Beru.

"I can't even fathom how hard this is…I'm sorry, so sorry," Beru hugs me.

"Thank you…keep him safe, please safe and loved," I put my hand over my mouth knowing a sob is welling.

"We love you Luke, we'll always love you," Obi-Wan runs a finger over his son's small fist kissing it.

"Momma and Daddy love you," the sob escapes me and I kiss my baby one last time.

We love you precious one.

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We are now alone, living in a small hut in the desert of Tatoonie. We are as we were all those many, many years ago.

Time has, as it always has, run its course. My wife, so beautiful and radiant just as she was the day I rescued her from the streets of Theed, just as alive and humming with love as the dewy night we said our vows and she became my wife—just the same except her eyes are duller, her spirit a little less boisterous but she's still full of that light.

We've grown up since then. So much so I don't know if we were ever that care free. Because even then, as the Trade Federation threatened we had hope, we had a future bright and ready to be defined and embraced. Now our hope—our hopes, are being raised by others. Our promise of a future is only as long as tomorrow. Our future; it's only to ensure theirs.

Padmé and I lived passionately in the years between Theed and today. We made love, we made a life. We stared at the open sky and knew no limits; we drank from the water and never knew full. We then became parents. It was no longer about us, but Leia and then Luke.

Now as I hold my wife, she sobs because it's Leia's fourth birthday today. I know our future is not over, not yet. Our life as it had been is. But we can choose to change to start again.

She taught me to change, she taught me love. She changed my life, my padawan changed my life, and Fate changed my life, now I will choose to change it.

Three things I know for sure. Two the Jedi taught me, the third my wife taught me.

One: There is no death

It felt nearly like death when I had to give up my children. My soul wilted. But there is no death. A piece of us always lives on, my piece is my children. I will never die because in my children and one day their children…and so on, there is immortality. Our family will continue.

Even for Anakin Skywalker there is no death, not completely. Somewhere in the black suit that has become the embodiment of evil there is a piece of Anakin fighting…I know there is. And it will remain in him as long as someone remembers it's there and I do. I will remember Anakin as he was, I will remember so that maybe one day I can bring him back. There can't be death…not completely…

Two: There is the Force

As it has been since the dawn of time. The Force connects everything. It connects us to our children, to our past, to our present and yes, even to our future.

The Force is healing its self, though the wound from the Massacre is still fresh. The pollution of Vader is tainting it, but the Force is eternal. I still struggle every day with my anger, my disillusionment with the Force. I find that like the time I lost my Master I am doubting. I don't know why I am going through this, I don't like it, and I am furious, grieved, and so very disappointed. But I still know that Force is the Force, I know it never changes or goes away, I just don't know—or understand its plan.

I hope I too can heal, I hope that I can one day look back on all this and see the great plan the Force put into place and understand it, but right now I am just angry.

And Three: there is us

Padmé made me believe is us when I never thought there was a chance. She is the strongest most faithful woman I know. She believes in me like no one before. She believes in us when I can scarcely believe in myself.

We are starting again, starting again as just…us. She and I are facing tomorrow together.

Through the darkness and the light there has been an acceptance of humanity and the creation of life. In between moments of goodness and harrow…in all those times of struggle strife and victory one thing above all else has remained constant: us. We were there in the beginning; we touched upon the greatness of love and grew with it. We were there when the War started, changed life and when it was lost. We are here now as we wait to see the future unfold. It's always been us, it will always be us.

We are starting fresh like we did on that beautiful Naboo morning we started our life as husband and wife; but this time we embark not as a Jedi and Queen…but merely Ben and Mae Kenobi, as us. The us that we've created and become, the us that not only survives but lives, this is us.

There is no death,
There is the Force

There is no doubt
There is us

19 YEARS LATER…

"My name is Princess Leia Grace of the planet Aurora. I beg you on behalf of my planet and the Rebellion, we need your help. Please help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you are my only hope…"

The dark side, they speak of it as some mythical place where only the evil dwell. Well I can tell you I've touched the dark side, I've tasted it. I've seen it consume also. I know the danger, I know the lure…I know the cure.

I am Jedi, a sworn protector of the galaxy. I have no anger, no love, no emotion. I am the definition of peace, I am wise and fair…or at least I am supposed to be. Truth is I am human; flesh and blood, tears and pain joy and fear. Perhaps if things had been different I would be different too. Little did I know that one blond haired little boy and a dark haired beauty would forever change my existence…My son, my daughter

THE END
…is only the beginning

AUTHOR'S NOTE: cue the Star Wars Theme LOL Well my loyal, wonderful, fantastic, stupendous and all that jazz, readers you have the finale of my rearranged love story, my opus of Star Wars fan fiction. I have come to the end of this saga having written for eight months and while I am sad to see it end, I am glad for the break :-)

You all have been so amazing, reading, reviewing and staying on through three parts. I consider myself so lucky to have such…wonderful (that's the only word I can think of LOL) readers. Thank you. There isn't enough time or space to list my gratitude.

I am so sorry that it took so long to get this up…my trip which was supposed to be a week turned in to almost two! But I am back now (just in time for the release of Star Wars Episode III! Wa hoo!) and it's posted!

I want to talk real quick (really, what is a RaeAnne story without a ridiculously long A/N? LOL) about a story inspired by an idea of a reader that I am working on, centering on a possible love story involving Anna Grace and Derrik Bass of my non Star Wars original planet Aurora. It would be a separate story from this series and separate from any possible sequel series to this but would follow events set down in these stories. If anyone has any ideas or thinks this might be a good read any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

You guys are so awesome! Thank you so much! So for the final time, Lots of Love, and…may the Force be with you, always—RaeAnne

LadyJadePerendhil(LJP): LOL No you did not miss something, it was my big shocker in the end…a layer if you will to think about and now a for certain plot point in the possible sequel series. Come on instead of Vader telling Luke "I am your father" we have Obi telling Ani, "I…am…your…cousin" see I am taking a cue from that Burger King commercial LOL, actually I didn't get it from there, but it's still kind of funny… There wasn't any lead up it was the bomb shell LOL

Thank you so much for reviews! I've enjoyed them immensely!

the rain in spring: Alright, awesome, you, me same wavelength, so glad to know that there is at least one other person who understands my ramblings…maybe I can get you to do some translating for me LOL I agree totally, reviews really push a writer and encourage, yours have done so very much for me. Love of a story idea is so important, how can you tell a convincing story if you don't believe in it? I got such a charge from taking this basic idea, watching it grow into this whole alternate universe in my mind… and then to top it off have readers that read it, enjoy it, and hey even get it! LOL

Oh, you so hit the nail of the head, the humanization of Obi-Wan, his discovered and evolving emotions were the backbone of this story and will be the driving force of my next stories. It was the crisis of faith that manifested itself naturally and out of the blue in these last few chapters that has given me ambition to work on a sequel series. I didn't plan for Obi-Wan to start this doubt; it truly just grew into the story as the plot line twisted its way here. I want very much to expand on this new angle…I'm curious where the story line will turn now, I'm truly working with a basic idea structure and the emotional line is growing naturally.

I thank you so much for your reviews, I've very much enjoyed them and have gained quite a lot philosophically LOL, who knew that you can have a deep psychological introspective musings on fictional characters…and so enjoy it! Thanks for taking the time!

Estel la Rodeuse: Well I must remember to thank the Force for directing you to my story, but first I must thank you for the most kind review, especially since you say you rarely read Obidala. I am so glad you enjoyed it!

Blackrosemystic: Thank you, I actually was kind of pleased with the title too…how arrogant does that sound LOL? I just always struggle with chapter titles, that's why I don't use them all that often, but I just love the titles so when I hit upon one that I shockingly like it does give a little boost to my ego, especially if someone else likes it too :-) LOL

Making Padmé strong was a big thing with me. I hated the way her character turned to weak in the last movie. They totally down played her strength, a total 180 from her character in episode II. And showcasing her and Obi-Wan's strengths and weaknesses was exactly what I was striving for, so I am thrilled you think I succeed!

I know, bad Yoda! But I suppose you can't kill the messenger for the message, but it still isn't very nice.

Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews through out, I can't thank you enough!

mrs skywalker: Well thanks, I told that joke I know (see what Batman Begins on DVD does to a girl? She goes around quoting silly things LOL…I was quoting Star Wars III after seeing it one time in theater so now that the DVD is out I should be twice as bad).

Nope that wasn't the last chapter, this is :-) And because of that I want to thank you so much for your wonderful, faithful reviews, they have meant so much!

SuP3R G1R: Better and better you say? Well thank you so much! Another trilogy? A very good possibility, one that I am working very hard to make a reality right now. I would be thrilled and honored if you would read it, if I can ever get it written and cleaned up enough for post! I have so appreciated your dedication and wonderful words of encouragement!

SoloKenobi: Mid terms, driving everyone crazy it seems, they must be working over time LOL but I am so glad that my story might have been able to add some relief. So glad you love this story and I hope you love, or at least like, this ending LOL :-) Thank you so much for reviewing!

Sparkle85: Thank you! I mean that, thank you so much! I am so glad you've enjoyed! Pain, pain, I hate pain, I hate inflecting it…but this chapter was sadly very…well sad LOL And ta da here is the last chapter, I hope you enjoy! I have so enjoyed and appreciated your reviews!

sarahhillary39: Twists, I try to add them when I can, and hopefully give ones that aren't expected. I hope that this one while not expected is liked :-) Thank you so much for reviewing, it so appreciated!

jremme: Midterms…oh I feel for ya, I always hate those, but then again who doesn't! Totally understand. I so appreciate all your so nice remarks! I hope I didn't disappoint with this ending, I know it is as happy as everyone would like…I tried to end it on a happier note…a hopeful note. I was so excited to get the last chapter posted, I was really anxious to see how people reacted to my new ideas of Obi-Wan being the True One, not to mention related to Anakin, I am very pleased to find that people seemed to react kindly toward it :-) Again thank you so much for your wonderful, wonderful reviews!

TheAmazingTecnocolorRingWraith: Well then it's a good think I'm not a two story ape :-) Yes this is the last, so very sad…But there is a very good chance for a sequel, not a "Between D and L" sequel, but maybe a series following this story line moving to the events of movies IV, V, VI… (hey if my Roman numerals are off, sue me LOL I was never good at that whole thing…LOL)

Thank you so much for faithful, awesome reviewing! You're great!

Lincoln Six Echo: Well yes Obi and Padmé stay together that's a good thing! I am so sorry about the rest though…I didn't like separating them…but well….LOL Thank you so much for reviewing!

sassy-satine: LOL Well I am so thrilled that I could help brighten your day :-)

Thank you so much, I really tried to think out how to introduce the readers to my changed perspective on the whole 'The Chosen One Thing'…If you can believe this I've had long drawn out discussions (all in fun of course LOL) about the legitimacy of my claim that Obi-Wan was True One, not Anakin with friends (breaks the monotony of real life for a bit). I prepared my argument like was getting ready to appear in court…So I am glad that my shortened version here was believable. I wanted to give something to think about, that hint of doubt, that maybe just maybe Obi-Wan was more then just Anakin's teacher…I believe at the very least, even if you toss out the whole Obi True One thing, he was the catalyst that enabled both Anakin to attain his (good) greatness, and Luke to be able to train, accept, and finally defeat Vader. Without Obi-Wan, you wouldn't have Force Balance…Oh boy, it was exactly this that got me started in the discussion thing to begin with…

Obi-Wan, such an emotionally stricken soul despite his Jedi upbringing, I guess it likes water pushing against a dam. When the pressure builds then finally finds its release it floods. I love the dynamics of the Obi-Wan/Padmé relationship and the potential for complexities and the intricateness of it. It's actually the main motivating reason I'm writing a sequel series, whether I actually finish it is yet to be seen LOL. I just love their relationship too much…and now that I have this crisis of faith happening in Obi-Wan and anxious to exploit that LOL

You're right, about tipping my hand in the Luke situation I mean…if this wasn't the Star Wars galaxy LOL I've been thinking about it and have thought of several reasons he could be Anakin's in spite of Padmé's intuition. Force intervening, false symptoms, numerous things…Not that I am pushing for it. I really want him to Obi-Wan's, I really do, but all these story twists keep pulling at me. I don't think I'll ever really make up my mind till I write the next story, even then I might create a loop hole just because I am of two minds on this LOL.

Well so ends my final review reply…thank you so much for sticking with me through 35 chapters, you're awesome! I don't think I would have been able to finish writing if not for reviewers like you that have made writing so fun and rewarding! Thanks for the praise, the constructive criticism and encouragement.