A/N: Hey there everyone! I hope you all enjoy this fic cuz hoo-boy! Did I have a good time writing it. It's actually been done for a long while now, had it ready to read and everything, I just.. never got around to uploading it. But hey! Enjoy and please PLEASE be kind to leave a review! I get sad when people don't review!
As for those who are eagerly awaiting more chapters from my other stories, hold tight, they're coming!
Disclaimer: sigh Not mine.. Happy?
Warnings: Yaoi! Don't like? Leave. Flames that bitch about the story being yaoi will be used to keep Ban and Ginji's flame of love burning.
Any word joinings likethis are fanfictions fault. it always seems to do that to my work sigh
And excuse errors. I tried, I really did!
Pairing: duh! BanGinji
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Memory
A Get Backers fiction by Crimson Vixen
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The Limitless Fortress was a place of tested trust and constant alert, where the smell of blood and fear painted the streets every day. The scent had become natural after a while, the burning heat in your nostrils became unnoticeable, unlike the coppery taste that often lingered on the tongue. Innocent people were slaughtered on a daily basis without reason by those who were stronger and from the higher floors, and forming the Voltz was the only source of justice Amano Ginji could offer, though it was never enough to ease the heartache.
A young teen with a burden so heavy, he had little or no time for himself, and what time he did have alone he had selfishly gaurded,yet provided what support he could, of which the Lower floors needed so desperately. But in spite of the boy's efforts, eventually, it all led to the downfall of the legendary den of demons, and inevitably, himself and those he cared for. His powers and conquering alter ego of the feared and praised Lightning Emperor were so overwhelming that he himself could never bring himself to fully understand its complexity.
Not that the youth understood much of the workings of the Infinite Castle itself in the first place; he only followed what his heart told him and lived by the day. And though by some strange phenomenon things seemed to go in the Lightning Emperor's favor, fate was bound to place them all in darkness… That is, if he stayed.
So when a stranger suggested leaving and starting anew, to leave behind the people that looked up to him to fend for themselves but at the same time, would be alive, to think about him and what he needed, his heart took no time to argue. That stranger told him the truth that he had always denied but knew all along; that he was slowly killing himself, and that wouldn't protect anybody… And Amano Ginji took his first steps into the outside world.
He never expected that stranger, that Ban Midou, to become his closest companion, the only one who understood and befriended Ginji, and just Ginji, not Raitei, serving as a support beam he could lean on when the world showed its true colors. And the true Ginji sprouted in the brunette's presence, though he often shot out plentiful put-downs and slaps across the head. Because Ginji read emotions like a wonder, and knew without question that Ban's actions were those of affection.
Ginji had never been happier. But even though his new lifestyle consisted of rising fees and cramped sleeping spaces that he found himself strongly fond of, and with someone for him to follow for once, he couldn't help but drag his brown eyes to the silhouetted castle in the foggy distance. People that lived in the surrounding area liked to ignore the giant structure like it wasn't there, like they were just trying to hide the mistake that it was. But when Ginji thought about this, he wondered how people were able to do such a thing as to overlook it.
Something always pulled at him when he fell prey to its captivating mystery, longing or guilt, he wasn't sure which should overpower the other, tugging at his mind, forcing him to close his lids, like he always did when he thought back, and started to remember.
One of two things would wake Ginji from his thinking. One would be on his own, only after the thoughts he was gathering became too much and too heavy for him to continue. The other was Ban, who would either touch or call out to him, and Ginji would wake up and smile, and then he would apologize.
"Idiot," Ban would almost always say; that or some other fond insult. "That's nothing to apologize for."
And Ginji would become unnervingly quiet as he thinks for a moment longer, before returning to himself, to the happy kid he was supposed to be. He was thankful that Ban was as understanding a person as he was, and was surprised to discover that Ban not only didn't mind the flashbacks, but, in fact, encouraged them. It confused him at first, too, even now as he stared at the jagan-master and his closest friend for years that seemed like several lifetimes.
Close to midnight, stars shining brightly because Ban insisted on leaving the city for one night to escape the sound and lights that drowned them out, Ginji could not sleep. He had gotten out of the 360, crossed his arms and leaned against the outside of the car door, closing his eyes again with intention to think back another time, and did just that.
He had snapped back to reality not at the sound of a car door opening and shutting, but the deep familiarity of a voice he trusted so much.
"Ginji…"
When his lids rose, brown became captured in vibrant blue, and Ginji shook his head, a loose grin playing on his lips.
"I'm sorry, Ban-chan," he said softly. "I can't sleep; and it gets me thinking too much."
Ban exhaled a cluster of transparent smoke from his lungs and through his nose in a sigh, having come out of the ladybug with a cigarette prepared.
"I told you before, didn't I?" Ban drawled, joining Ginji in leaning against the car, lifting his chin to stargaze. No matter how many times he told these words to Ginji, he never raised his voice, and he didn't scold… "There's no reason for you to be sorry."
He felt the message was terse but strong enough to toss logic into the blonde's wandering skull, if only a little bit, but Ginji, fully armed and skillfully dangerous with excuses, rose his eyes to the countless sea of stars and planets whose beauty was so often neglected.
"But I shouldn't be dwelling on things that happened in the past," he explained, trying to word his thoughts with ease that made Ban idly drop his smoke and grind it with his heel so his full attention could focus solely on those words. "Some of it's hurtful, and it's not helping anyone or anything to think about it."
Ginji intended to explain further but Ban beat him to it.
"Only some?"
"Huh?"
"You said only some of your memories are painful," Ban pointed out. Though Ban felt that when Ginji said 'some,' he really meant 'most.' Still… "So I'm guessing that not every piece of your puzzle is a bad one."
Ginji looked at his partner, whose eyes were still glued to the constellations over them. Ban had purposely chosen to say puzzle, a term Ginji understood better than any dragging explanation of past choices and life stories. The former gang leader eventually smiled and nodded, for Ban was right.
"That's true, but still…" Ginji hopped onto the roof of the car, letting his legs hang over the side. "Still, I'll try not to think about it, ok?"
The brunette tore his wintry eyes away from the glimmering cosmoses that was the night and instead rested them on his partner. His expressions were usually unreadable if he intended to keep to himself, but Ban felt no hesitancy to allow a hint of concern to cross his features.
"Ginji."
Their eyes met again.
"If you don't want to think about, then don't. Doesn't bother me either way," he lifted an elbow to rest it upon Ginji's knee. "But don't try to erase it from your memory."
Ban could feel Ginji's questioning eyes on him, but he did not return it as he looked back to the open sky and crescent moon. Over all the people in the entire world, Ban was probably the one who knew best; the importance and preciousness of memories, of how you should grasp them, keep them close and protect them, the good and the bad. Because memories were fragile things that could be easily forgotten,but werepart of what made a person who they were. Made them whole.
Ginji's memories contained a large amount of suffering and pain and cruelty and most of all, regret. But even if there was aching pain in his head and in his heart, there were good times, too, and they were still all his memories, and a part of who he was.
Ban had his own puzzle pieces.
And Ginji seemed to understand this logic, if only with his heart, and did not question Ban's words, but responded to them.
"I know, Ban-chan. I know I shouldn't try to forget. I can't. Even so, the mistakes I've made—"
"Then learn from them," Ban cut in. "After all, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Come on, Ginji, this isn't like you."
Surprisingly, the blonde did not apologize, but merely grinned in pure sincerity. He understood perfectly.
"I know. It's just that on nights I can't sleep, I start to think," he tried to explain. He wasn't making excuses, only stating a simple fact about himself, and Ban nodded knowingly. Before teaming up as the Get Backers, Ginji's whole life was spent growing up in the lower floors of the Limitless Fortress, a child of the neglectful laws and harmful streets, where fear made you look over your shoulder every step you took. So it was no mystery why his mind traveled there when he lost himself to thought.
Things like that - things that take away a majority of your life are hard to forget.
Of course, Ginji had his own memories that he shared with Ban, moments that they both held dear. Like leaving the fortress to team up with the so-called Snake Man. Ginji's mind would visit such memories, too, and he preferred them over the rest, but happenings of his former cradle were too powerful for the blissful memories to even attempt to dominate.
"Would you maybe want something else to think about?"
At first, Ginji was unsure if the snake bearer was offering something or merely making a helpful suggestion or not, but then concluded that Ban wouldn't have wasted his breath otherwise if he didn't mean something by it.
"You mean..?"
Ginji… didn't know what he meant.
"I mean something more… enjoyable for you to think about. Something good enough to push all other thoughts aside."
Ginji grinned at his friend's efforts; giving him something better to think about on those long and dragging sleepless night, ne? Ginji found himself sliding off of the car and facing Ban. Why not give it a shot, what did he have to lose? If anything, he could at least remember Ban's attempt.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Well…" Ban pushed himself from the 360, placing his hands on Ginji's elbows and locking eyes with his. "No eye tricks. This memory will be as real as you and me."
Mouth slightly open, Ginji found himself nodding dumbly, even as Ban pulled him close, pressing him into his chest.
Ban's hands on his elbows guided him, and soon Ginji's arms had been wrapped around his partner's slender waist.
Ban Midou was often compared to a snake, much like the one his hand contained. He was a slippery, cunning man who was powerful and manipulative. He was a genius in battle and when provoked enough, deadly. And like the misunderstood reptile, he often observed his enemy before striking, but even with such a reputation, Ginji knew Ban was gentle, and how Ban unconsciously never intended any real harm that people blamed him of.
And that was just it, Ginji knew. Ban wasn't a monster, people just didn't get him. They didn't understand him. Not the way Ginji did.
Ban slithered his arms around Ginji carefully, tenderly, coiling around the warm body and hold him close, protectively.
Ginji did not falter, his trust in Ban was too great for him to want to pull away, even as the distance between them closed, and just before their lips brushed, Ban whispered softly, the wind flowing the words into his ear…
"Now… Remember this, Ginji…"
The simple brush turned into a gentle lock.
And like the obedient listener he was, Amano Ginji dove into Ban's eyes with his own, noting the intense true colors that whirled like a never-ending whirlpool, pulling him in, and he vowed to engrave the image into his brain forever. He would always remember the look in Ban's eyes. Ginji could see and even sense the longing and passion that resided there, of which he never noticed until now.
Once Ban's lips had fully claimed him, he allowed his lids to droop closed, his body melting and going near limp into submission as skilled hands roamed under his clothes and along the unexplored smooth skin of his back. As Ginji started kissing back, arms trailing along Ban's body, he continued to follow his orders, and focused on Ban's lips, soft like feathers and sweet like fruit. Then the taste as a slick tongue made entrance; a strange sensation of heated nicotine and something else he couldn't place, even-paced, but crazy and wild like an untamed fire.
Next, his scent, which smelled strongly of smoke and little to nothing else. But that was the familiar scent that Ginji had grown attached to, the one that told him where Ban was and that he wasn't alone, and he wanted nothing else to burn into this nostrils.
A small moan escaped Ginji's mouth and into Ban's as a teasing hand found a sensitive spot. Ban's hands, calloused but smooth, strong yet gentle, ran down his bare arms, around his shoulders, cradling his nape and raking through thick, naturally spiky locks of golden hair. Boney fingers caressed tingling skin, testing what was good and what wasn't without crossing any lines or violating Ginji's innocent and inexperienced nature.
Finally, Ginji embraced Ban with exhilarated force, breaking the kiss to bury his face into Ban's chest, inhaling smoky sweetness when a heavy hand came to rest on the back of his head. The skinny man in his arms, the one who had given him a memory worth revisiting over and over again, was even warmer than the air around him after one of his lightning shows, where heat from bolts would hover around him like an aura.
Oh no, this felt so much warmer.
"Ban-chan…"
His words were muffled in Ban's clothing, whatever they were, but Ban understood his name perfectly.
"Ginji, you alright?" Ban asked, wondering if his comrade was actually stupid enough to follow through with what they just did only to please him. But Ginji nodded into his chest before pulling away to revisit the icy warmth of Ban's irises, and that same dumb grin reclaimed him, maybe a little wider.
"Perfect, Ban-chan," the boy answered full-heartily. Then stupidly he added, "What about you?"
Ban snorted, his broad shoulders jerking forward and than back again with the action.
"Literally shocking," he smirked, and Ginji blushed, but before he could apologize, a roughly smooth finger sealed his lips.
Memories were great, they sculpted a persons self, but some memories could be relived, and that, too, could shape a man.
And Ban's shape was holding Ginji's hostage, a willing captive who had no idea how or when he had lost his green vest. But he could feel his shirt lift and expose his silky flesh to the cool night breeze, and he did the best he could to undo suddenly pesky buttons of a certain four-tailed shirt, but with his eyes closed, and lips occupied, it was difficult. Goose bumps sprouted on his milky skin as he fell back onto the ground with Ban on top of him, both now naked from the waist up. Small rocks and prickly grass were imprinting themselves onto his back, but he didn't care; all he could register was a firm hand running repeatedly over his chiseled belly, causing the tense muscles beneath to ripple at the touch, another hand on his shoulder, and his own fingers entwining themselves in dark brown spikes.
He smelled, tasted, and felt like perfection, Ban did. And Ginji's senses were high on it, picking it clean for all it was worth in intoxication, fueled by lust and need and immense… love? Love.
Still feeling inclined to follow Ban's instructions, Ginji made another vow to himself; by the end of the night, he would have every square inch of Ban memorized.