This is my first Harry Potte Fan Fiction so it may not be very good. It's just something I wrote when I couldn't sleep.
I do not own Harry Potter characters Nymphadora Tonks or Remus J. Lupin, that would be Mrs. J. K. Rowling.
"How long has it been?"
Remus looked away from the quarter moon rising in the east, he had been staring at it, thinking of the horrors to come when it would be rounded to its full glory. The person that had spoken was a rather drained young woman resting in a chair not five feet away from the werewolf. If possible, she appeared to be wearier then he was. Maybe it was just because he had always appeared worn-out and most were used to it while the woman was usually youthful and a bit chipper.
"He's been gone for a little more then fifteen minutes." Remus smiled at her, "Why don't you take this moment to your advantage and get some rest?"
Nymphadora Tonks turned her eyes to Remus once more; she had been stealing glances at him several times now, mostly when he was looking out the window so thoughtfully, as to not be caught staring. He knew how she felt…he knew how hard it was to just leave him to more solitude then he's known since the death of the Potters sixteen years ago. Before then he had friends that weren't hiding or in prison…then he was suddenly left on his own.
"And leave you down here to wait on your own?" she asked, offering a weary smile before resting her head back against the chair, "No, I'll stay until Moody returns."
"We don't know when he'll be coming back though." Lupin protested in a soft tone, "He didn't say where he was going so it could be morning by the time he returns."
Tonks sighed, she knew he was still against it…against "them" becoming more then members of the Order of the Phoenix. Even after he had held her hand that day, another death to deal with…he hadn't revealed any other hints of progressing into a loving relationship as she had hoped. Remus Lupin still believed she would be better off with someone young and…human. But that's not what she wanted.
"I'm staying, Lupin." She said, folding her arms stubbornly, though her head remained tilted back.
Smiling slightly, Remus held up his hands, turning back to the window, "Who am I to protest?" he lowered his arms, looking back up at the moon with a fading smile.
"Don't look so forlorn, the full moon's not until the beginning of next month." Tonks said, trying to lift his grim spirits. Someone like him needed a little happiness in quiet times like these since they were becoming less frequent.
He only sighed.
"You're…worried about Harry's next year…aren't you?"
Bingo, Lupin's head was nodding very slowly.
"Yes…he's lost a great deal of people that he knew, Tonks." Remus sighed, "I'm beginning to wonder if he will take revenge…if he does…it would take a lot to stop him. Harry's meant for great things and I know James would have been proud of his progress over the years but…"
Hands rested on his shoulders and Remus jumped, he hadn't heard Tonks rise from her chair, nor her footsteps when she approached. It was new for her since she was usually a bit clumsier then most.
"Harry's safe for now…and I'm sure that with the right guidance, he'll be fine." Tonks said, her voice quiet due to the fact she was barely grasping awareness. Sleep was as tempting as it was to wrap her arms around the warm body in front of her.
"I worry too much, I suppose." Lupin confirmed, moving away from her hands.
"Lupin—"
"Moody's back." He said, looking at the doorway leading out of the study of their temporary hide-away.
"Oh…" Tonks returned to her chair as the heavy clunks of Moody's leg came dully down the hallway.
"I've brought some fire whiskey." Came Mad-Eye Moody's gruff voice as he appeared in the doorway, his magical eye swiveling from Tonks to Remus. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked, though he didn't seem to care if he was or not.
"Not at all." Lupin said, indicating he joined them, "Just discussing Harry's well-being. We all worry about him as he gets older."
"I say you spare your concern for the boy. He'll be fine as long as he doesn't let his guard down." Moody said, shaking a gnarled index finger at Lupin. "Mark my words, it will take a lot more then You-Know-Who's Death Eaters to bring Potter down easily. I don't think Potter will rest easily until he's defeated him himself."
Remus nodded slowly but looked a bit concerned as he did. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to think of a seventeen-year-old Harry taking on a duel with Lord Voldemort and succeeding without dying in the process.
"Well, gents…I think we should retire tonight." Tonks said, forcing herself back up to her feet and staggering a little as her already half-asleep legs were brought back into consciousness.
"Careful, Tonks." Lupin said, getting to his feet as well and steadying her before she could topple back into the armchair.
Warmth…why did he have to be so warm? In fact…why do all men have to feel warm like that? Tonks pondered about this half-heartedly since she was abruptly plunged into disappointment when Lupin moved away from her to help Moody get to his feet since he appeared to have trouble getting out of the plush sofa cushions he had seated himself on.
Embarrassed and a bit frustrated, Nymphadora left the room in a rustle of angry robes, climbing the stairs to get to her temporary bedroom provided by the generosity of the Ministry. They have been increasingly cooperative since Dumbledore's death for some reason.
"He can't avoid it forever!" she hissed, shutting the door sharply, removing her wand from the pocket of her robes and pointing it at one of her bed pillows.
In her anger, she shot a hex at it and the cloth exploded into a flurry of feathers that rained down all over the room. Cursing the mess she made, she opened the window and pointed her wand at the feathers. The feathers quivered as if the floor was moving and suddenly turned into little white birds, which flew out the open window immediately after realizing they were mobile.
Shutting the window with a flick of the wand, Tonks laid down at last on the bed, staring up at the ceiling while trying to relax her angry, short breaths into a steadier rhythm.
It's possible…he can't dodge me forever because of age difference…and being a werewolf? I don't care! Why can't he just understand…
Tonks' eyes were drooping shut.
…That I…love him?
The first soft breath of sleep escaped her lips.
"What? A visitor to Hogwarts?"
"I heard he was a werewolf…"
Somehow, it was not as surprising as they made it seem, sure, werewolves were dangerous but some might not even be that bad in their human form. Anyway, there was no need for such a fuss over it, he was probably some old man from the Ministry.
"Drop it, already, will you? I'm trying to get McGonagall's report finished." Tonks snapped at the two chattering close by. Normally she impressed the Transfiguration teacher with her abilities but when it came to written work…Tonks was always a bit weak.
"Why would someone visit the castle though?" one of the girls asked, they had completely ignored her.
Tonks frowned, closing her inkbottle, she slammed her book shut and rolled up her parchment. Apparently the common room was not the place to be at the time so she would jut have to settle for the library instead—as much as she hated books and book work at the present time.
Little did she know, however, that she would bump into the visitor the girls were so fond of talking about. It happened when she was pushing open the door to the library, the librarian was there but someone was talking to her. It was rather awkward to see Madam Pince talking in the library…but what was even more awkward was the man she was speaking with.
He looked to be well into his late twenties but his face was weary yet a kind smile curved his mouth as he listened to the old librarian ramble. The longer Tonks looked, the more she realized that in his light brown hair there were strands of gray. Was he older then she thought or was this guy really a werewolf as those girls mentioned? If so, what was he doing here and in the library of all places?
Hey, now isn't the time to gawk! You have a paper to write, remember? Tonks snapped at herself inwardly. Just go sit down at the table.
Why did she have to be curious? The table she chose was the one closest to them, sinking onto the chair, she opened her book and leaned over it, currently in the shade of mocha brown, eyes were glued to the stranger and the old teacher.
"Oh, Remus Lupin…I can't get over it, to see you after so many years…"
"It hasn't been that long, Madam Pince." He smiled a rather gentle yet weary smile.
"A decade at least." She said, "I still remember you coming in here almost daily…although some times I think you should have left Mr. Potter and Mr. Black out in the hall rather then let them follow you inside. I never could find another copy of Ness of the Lochness that Black so keenly burned because he simply didn't like the book."
Tonks rose an eyebrow, not at the annoyed face of Madam Pince as she talked about the book that was burned but the sudden forlorn/thoughtful expression that the man known as Remus Lupin had.
What's with him?
"Er…forgive me, Madam Pince." Remus said, apologizing as he interrupted Pince's hushed ranting, "I'm afraid I have to find Professor Dumbledore, he did send for me after all."
"Oh, I see." Madam Pince looked slightly disappointed, "Well, I understand…off you go then."
"It was nice speaking with you again, I wish that all of my former teachers had greeted me as warmly as you have." Remus said, nodding his head to the librarian before turning away.
As he passed however, Tonks realized that she hadn't looked away fast enough and Remus Lupin has spotted her gawking. He paused in front of her table and leaned over to see the book she had desperately looked down at, hoping she wasn't blushing.
"Transfiguration?" he asked.
She jerked her head up.
"Yes…"
"I remember that report." He said chuckling, checking to see that Madam Pince went back to patrolling her precious bookcases before leaning close to Tonks and whispering, "Stick to good descriptions on the wand movements and do not leave out the incantation. Professor McGonagall counts off when students leave out the root of the entire paper."
"I-I'll try to remember that…" she said, her voice was giving out as she spoke and a hand flew to her throat as it squeaked.
"Whether or not you take the advice, is entirely up to you." He said as he straightened up, "You are your own person after all. Don't let differences hold you back."
Tonks only stared up at him and he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Or…something like that. It is rather pathetic to say before a complete stranger, I admit."
"No, no! It's alright!" Tonks said, she waved her hands so quickly she forgot that she was holding a quill, flinging it off to the floor. "I try not to let my differences get in the way! It's good advice to give!"
Remus smiled, stooping and picking it up before resting it beside her parchment.
"Then…I'm glad." He said softly before starting off towards the doors of the library, "You should finish up your homework now."
With that, he disappeared out the doors.
Remus…Lupin…
Tonks looked down at her homework but the table had vanished and she was now standing up. Looking at her Hogwarts robes, she began to realize that she wasn't supposed to be a pre-teen but she was supposed to be in her twenties as well. Early twenties actually, not some twelve or thirteen-year-old schoolgirl.
She turned into her adult self when she recognized this and as she stood there, the library was growing dimmer and dimmer all around her until it was nothing but darkness.
That's when she saw the younger Remus Lupin still walking away from her and for some reason she followed as much as she told herself it was a cheesy gesture in her dream's head. He turned and looked at her. Thoughtful, kind, and considerate…all things she cherished about him in spite of her attitude and tomboyish actions.
Remus…
"Don't let differences hold you back." He repeated before fading away into the darkness as well.
Wait!
Tonks…
You're still there?
Tonks.
"R-Remus!"
"Tonks!"
Nymphadora's eyes shot open and she swallowed as she found herself looking up into a very concerned face belonging to the Remus she recognized, the one she had really fallen for.
"Are you alright?" Lupin asked, he had a knee braced on the edge of her bed, hands gripping her shoulders from when he had been jostling her to wake her up. Mad-Eye Moody was standing at the foot of the bed, frowning at her with no similar look to Lupin's.
"Yeah…fine…just a dream." She mumbled, rubbing her eyes.
"A dream huh?" Moody's eye swiveled, "Peculiar dream since you've been calling Lupin's name."
"I-I was?" Tonks yelped, sitting bolt upright, Lupin cried out as her head hit his and his hands flew to his forehead where their craniums clashed. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Lupin!"
"It's…alright…it was…an accident." He said though he sounded like he was in plenty of pain.
Moody gave a dry chuckle.
"I'll let you two settle things…" he grumbled, leaving the room, making sure he grabbed the door as he left. "Oh—" he looked back at them, "And if the two of you suddenly get intimate, be considerate of your neighbors. I'm right next door after all."
"Moody…" Lupin grumbled, his forehead and face still hidden in his hands when the door shut.
Tonks groped the sheets for her wand, her other hand gingerly covering her own throbbing forehead.
"Here, let me fix it." she said, finally holding it.
"There's no need, Tonks." He said, holding up a hand to stop her, "If I can live with gashes, I can certainly get on with a bruise."
She caught a smile on his face as he left her bedside, heading for the doorway.
"Lupin."
The werewolf peered back at her over his shoulder. Tonks' hand went to her mousy hair trying to smooth it down before closing her eyes. Remus watched her hair grow out longer and change to a dark brown. When she opened her eyes, they were the same mocha she had them in her dream.
"Do you recognize this form?" she asked, standing up and approaching him.
"…I do." He nodded, "It is hard to forget since you were the only student I spoke with during a visit to Hogwarts many years ago."
"You remembered it very well." Tonks said, surprised, she expected him to not remember a thing except her face.
"Though my memory tends to be a bit off sometimes, I do remember many things. Such as my childhood and meeting James, and Sirius on the train…I unfortunately remember Petigrew as well…he struck me as the jittery, timid type when I first saw him." Lupin had a glimmer of annoyance—most likely in himself—in his face before he turned away. "Anyway, you didn't ask me about that just to hear me talk about my past. Why did you take that form?"
Tonks clenched her fists at her sides.
"I told you…that you being a werewolf was no problem with me." She said slowly.
Lupin sighed, "Please don't…"
"You told me "don't let differences hold you back" well I'm not, what about you? Why can't you follow your own advice?" she shoved his shoulder so that he turned and faced her.
His eyes were on the floor, she could tell he was inwardly wishing he never told her that advice and also thinking how she was right, he needed to follow his own advice. They were both clashing in his mind as he stood there. Frustrated in the silence between them, Tonks seized the front of his ragged robes.
"Look at me, Lupin!" she hissed, her hands were trembling though.
He did…and she swallowed, seeing pure amber eyes staring right into her own fake brown. His hands rested over hers and he closed his eyes, gently pulling her hands from his robes.
"Tonks…I'm glad you care about me…I really am." He indicated she go back to her bed and she obeyed, sitting down on the edge as he conjured a chair from somewhere in the house. Seating himself on it, he twisted his wand in his fingers, watching the wood twirl as he spoke again, "I don't think that anyone has ever told me they loved me before you did."
Tonks hated to admit it, but she was beginning to blush now as her hair was going back to its mousy color.
"But, now is not the time…for someone like me to be with a witch. I'm still having difficulty finding the ingredients for the wolfsbane potion…I don't have the money to buy them and they are difficult to find with my limited resources. So I am just as old, poverish…and dangerous as ever."
"Please stop hiding behind those reasons, Lupin." Tonks said, wringing her hands together, "It's not going to change anything."
"I know that…you're a bit stubborn when it comes to how you feel about someone." He smiled, taking her hands in his.
Tonks stared at his hands holding her own; he hasn't really held them since Dumbledore's funeral.
"You're…really serious…about me?" he asked.
"Yes." She nodded, "I've been serious."
Remus nodded, standing up once more, Tonks stood up as well, gripping his hands tightly so he didn't leave. Stepping closer to him, Tonks searched his weary face, releasing one of his hands, she reached up, touching his face, he averted his eyes at this gesture. This didn't seem like her and she knew it. Inside she was gagging at her own movements but sometimes…a little mushy romance wasn't bad. In fact, it helps you get the man you're crazy about to kiss you.
How so? She slid her hand around to the back of his head and pulled. Craning her neck, she pressed her lips against his and even as he went rigid, she released his other hand, holding his head close to hers.
Come on…Remus Lupin…follow your own advice…don't let differences hold you back any more.
His arms wrapped around her.
Yes! Thank you!
Taking Remus' wand out of his pocket for him, Tonks flicked it once.
The door locked.
Well...I hope it was ok...my writing has been a bit off recently...