I don't own Invader Zim. And I sure don't own the concept of karma.

Chapter Three: Just Desserts

This human girl was about Gaz's age, but her wide, curious amber eyes, high forehead and excited, cheerful smile made she look quite a bit more like Dib. Her black hair was even graced with a scythe very similar to his, just longer and curlier.

She wore a dark grey trench coat with backpack straps around the shoulders, and with both hands she clutched the handle of a suitcase. Quickly she freed one hand to hold out to shake Dib's. "Hi! I'm Dag." A look of pain crossed her face as she noticed Dib's lip. "Ohhh! You're hurt!"

"No, it's okay," Dib started to say. Then he realized... he'd never before had a sister who would say that to him...

Two pairs of eyebrows leaped in the universal human gesture of recognition; she was home and they both knew it! They ran to each other, both talking excitedly at once.

"Wow so YOU'RE my sister... !"

"I knew I didn't belong with them... !"

"Oh MAN this is gonna be GREAT... !"

"I knew I had to be a changeling! I just knew it!"

"First we gotta - "

"I didn't know where to find out for sure and you just beat me to it!"

"Well, I am a year older, so I'd know a bit more."

Dag started to look downcast, but Dib immediately caught himself.

"But that doesn't mean you're not smart! Next year you'll be a year older and you'll know as much as I do now!"

Dag looked happy again.

"But I'll still be a year older than you so I'll have learned still more." At that she started to look downcast once more.

"And then you can learn some more again." Dib knew when to stop.

A relaxed lull in the conversation followed. Even as he continued soaking up the wonderful fact that he'd found his real sister, an uneasy thought began pushing its way into Dib's mind. To shake it, he reminded Dag that it was getting close to suppertime, and this time dared to suggest something he himself enjoyed. "Well, this is a special occasion, so we can order out for Chinese! How's that?"

"What does that taste like?" Dag asked.

Dib's eyes flew open. "Who's never had Chinese? It's the best food in the world!"

"Me, that's who! Troll food is horrible... it isn't even food!"

In his entire life, Dib would never learn as much about troll eating habits and dining customs as he learned in the next twenty minutes while they waited for their order to arrive.

"... and that's how I survived. Say, when do Mom and Dad come home? I want to meet them!"

Dib's sunny expression suddenly became more subdued. "I'm sorry, we... she's... we don't have one. Just never mention it to Dad, okay? He'll be along later... much later."

When the food finally arrived, Dag carried the warm, fragrant parcels to the kitchen while Dib paid the driver. Even though he knew everybody wasn't Gaz, Dib was still pleasantly startled to join Dag in the kitchen to see that she was waiting patiently for him to join her, with the food untouched in the middle of the table.

Seeing Dib's puzzled look, Dag explained, "Oh, in troll families, the youngest eat last."

"We aren't trolls," Dib pointed out, smiling smugly as he tore the wrapping away, as if from a big Christmas present. "We eat together here!"

Dib raised his eyebrows in inquiry as Dag took her first taste. She nodded with great enthusiasm and reached for more. Together they enjoyed the meal, until Dag asked if Dib would want any more before reaching for a second helping. He shook his head and held out his hand to invite her to take all she wanted. Was there no end to the surprises? Never before had even sweet and sour chicken or chicken chow mein tasted so good.

When the Professor appeared on the hover screen as they were finishing up their supper, right away he noticed something different about his "sane child."

"I know! You got your hair cut!" He leaned in closer to the screen as if he was right in the room with them, and held up his hand over his mouth as if the microphone wasn't allowing Dib to hear every word he said. "Just try not to become as insane as your brother!"

Dib and Dag barely managed to hold back their wild hoots and shrieks of laughter until the Professor's image winked off the hover screen.

When Dib went to wash the glasses and throw out the food containers, Dag offered to help, much to his astonishment. She had been required to help with light housework for as long as she had been able to do so, and Dib couldn't suppress a smirk as he thought about what the scene in the trolls' house must be right about now.

As they wiped down the table together, Dib explained all about her new father. "And he is THE world famous Professor Membrane! You'll get to meet him next year when we go out to supper. He's very busy, so he isn't around much. But at least now it won't be as... as lonely around here."

Dib just was about to ask Dag when she had to be home, but he caught himself and slapped his forehead... she WAS home! "Hey, you're going to need a room!" He led his new sister up the stairs and after just a moment of lingering uneasiness, opened the door to Gaz's newly vacated bedroom.

Dib stepped inside to see what needed to be done to prepare the room for his new sister, but one brief glance around made him shudder to his marrow. No wonder Gaz wasn't fit to live with; no one who deliberately fed herself such a constant diet of bitterness and negativity would be.

A poster on the back of the door insisted, "Outside is stupid... " A dart board on the wall was studded not with darts, but with throwing knives and shurikens. A globe badly dented from repeated kicks lay in the wastepaper basket. Bumper stickers all over the walls proclaimed things like, "There is no gravity, the world sucks," "Don't hit people with glasses... hit them with lead pipes and nail studded baseball bats," "I don't have an attitude, you really are dirt under my nails," "Burn in hell and rot there," and "I'm not deaf, I'm plotting your murder."

Together Dib and Dag stripped the room of its nihilistic decor, throwing the discards into a huge box Dib placed outside in the hall. When the walls were bare and cheerful again, they dressed the bed with fresh bedsheets Dib brought from the linen closet. "You can use these for now. We'll have Dad buy more for you later on." He took a deep breath. "Now what would you like, uh, what do you want to put up on your walls?"

Dag hesitated to reply, giving Dib a chance to see how she would react to his interests.

"C'mon and see if you want some of my posters; my room's right across the hall!"

"So we can visit to plan stuff together all the time!" exclaimed Dag.

Gaz would never have said anything like this. Dib allowed hope to kindle that Dag did even a few of the same things he did... but caught himself right away.

Whenever Dib had tried to share something cool, all he had ever received in return for his efforts was scorn and ridicule. No matter how nice she seemed, Dag had probably picked up at least some Gaz-like mannerisms from her troll foster parents; surely the other shoe would fall any minute now. Dib was torn; while he wanted to share everything with his new sister, he was in no hurry to jeopardize such a good thing. He had had enough of coming home from ridicule at skool each day to face yet more ridicule at home.

Dib leaned into his room ahead of Dag to make sure he'd taken down ALL his aliens related stuff. His classmates were even less tolerant of his newest interest and most urgent mission than they'd been even of the ghosts and sasquatches. How would Dag react? As much as he longed to ask, Dib didn't dare.

Was she treating him this nicely because she didn't know he was into aliens? Would she start treating him like everybody else did once she found out?

Finally Dib motioned for Dag to follow him into his room and invited her to pick anything she liked that he'd left on his walls.

She chose a poster of a werewolf and a photo of the night sky, but after that she kept roving her eyes over the walls as if she'd hoped to see something else but wasn't finding it. Despite Dib's invitations to take more, she shook her head a bit sadly and said, "No thanks."

Sorry, thought Dib, I don't have any unicorns or movie stars or Footprints posters or whatever else it is that everybody else likes.

They returned to Dag's room, where Dib helped her put the posters up by telling her when they were straight before she pushed in the thumbtacks. By now they couldn't think of anything more the room needed right away. Dag sighed happily, then turned to Dib. "So... what do you like to do?"

Dib hesitated. Here was where he could lose all that he had just gained. If he just mentioned all the usual stuff, he'd dodge the risk of being rejected as "weird" but he would end up doing just boring things with his cool new sister. If he went out on a limb, maybe they could do the really cool things together... maybe... if she didn't make a face and tell him he was "weird." He took a deep breath and began, watching her face closely.

"Oh, all the usual... reading... computers... making stuff. Checking out anything interesting... " Dib hesitated. "... like... like, uh, ghosts... and... and bigfoot." Seeing none of the usual sneering, disgusted reactions, Dib tried the next word, saying it more cautiously still. "Stargazing... "

"Stargazing? Really? Me too! In fact - " Dag caught herself.

After a wary pause, Dib slowly added, "I've got a telescope... and a satellite dish. I use them... sometimes... "

Dag brightened. "have you ever seen any... " She leaned in closer, her voice trailing off for a moment as she looked to one side and then the other as if even here, someone was watching who would laugh if they overheard. " ... you know... any aliens?"

The End

Finished? What'd you think?

Yeah, that's the only time it makes sense to even touch something like that first course... when you can chase it with something that, y'know, tastes even better because you DID eat it!

A good story and a good meal both end the same way, eh? With just desserts! Heh heh heh! Oh, the tab's been taken care of; Gaz paid up for her atrocious treatment of Dib! But if you really want to, you can hit the review button and leave a tip! Heh heh heh!

Have a great evening and come back soon! Thank you for choosing Karma Café... "We serve everyone right!"

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