Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, I make no money from writing about them, nor will I attempt to do so. I just like to take them out to play every once in a while.

Rating: M

Summary: A prostitute reflects on her relationship with each of the knights and some of her life at The Wall. If you're looking for battles and high adventure, you won't get that here. I have tried to look at each of the knights and who they are and how they would behave in their personal relationships. Maybe I got close, maybe not.

Author's Note: Warning: This story will deal with adult subject matter, hence the M rating. While not horribly graphic, it is, for all intents and purposes, smut. If smut offends you, then read no further.

Prologue

I prepare now to leave this place and start a new life. I do not feel it appropriate to carry my memories with me, but I do not wish them to be lost forever. The good ones, at least. There are plenty of bad memories whose remembrance would serve no purpose, but while they are still fresh, I would write the important and good ones down in this book of memories.

I have been here at Hadrian's Wall for over five years now. I came here when I was but fourteen years old and though twenty is no great age, I feel I have lived a lifetime in this place.

The fact that I am even able to read and write at all is due entirely to Arthur. He made available classes that were open to any and all that wished to learn. I found myself an eager student though at first I attended class reluctantly. I was allowed to learn as much as I wanted and I can read and write and am also able to do simple sums.

I was brought here by my father and sold to the man who ran the tavern at the time. My mother had died and my father had no money for a dowry for a proper husband, nor did he particularly care what my fate would be, as long as it did not concern him. So, the Wall is where I ended up. All things considered it has not been a bad life. My function here has been to serve the men in the tavern and to pleasure them when called upon to do so. There is little else for women with few skills and considering how many of us there are here, I am lucky to have done as well as I have.

Arthur

I would speak first of Arthur, whom I revere. He has ever been a champion of the downtrodden and has come to my aid when he occasioned to see me being mistreated in the tavern or on the streets. I have never felt as if he looked down upon me for what I am. Though I enjoyed learning I must confess to attending classes at first only to please him. I would have done anything to please him, and have done on many occasions.

My relationship with Arthur for some time was an awkward one, for my part. My feelings for him were such that I did not wish to see him as a man, with passions and desires. Though he called for me on many occasions because I was pleasing to him, it was hard for me to perform as I would with another. He liked very much to be ridden, and as I straddled him I would look anywhere but at his face, twisted with lust. When below him I would close my eyes and pretend it was any man other than Arthur.

I foolishly mentioned to Vanora once that I was uncomfortable being summoned by Arthur, who in turn, I found later, heard this news from Bors. Being the kind man that he is, Arthur called me in to see him.

"Have I ever done anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable?" he asked me.

I was mystified. "No, never. Of course not," I replied.

"I have been told that you do not enjoy coming to me. If I have done anything to offend you I would know what it is," he said earnestly.

I could not imagine a man such as him humbling himself to care for the sensibilities of a woman who sold herself to anyone with coin enough to purchase her, and I felt ungrateful and selfish.

"I am yours to command as much as anyone else at the fortress. If you wish to ease your lusts with me then it is my place to be as pleasing as I know how to be," I said softly. My eyes were downcast - I should consider my lucky to be called upon by such a man from time to time.

His hand cupped my chin, raising my head to look into my eyes. "I wish to be pleasing to you as well and if I am not then I would know the reason why."

I hesitated. He wished to hear something, but I could think of nothing, save the truth. "May I be honest?" I asked him.

"By all means," he said with a smile. "I must admit to being quite curious."

I took a deep breath and told him. "You are a great man, and I respect you immensely. Being in your presence I feel more inclined to fall to my knees in worship than on my back to serve you."

Arthur was clearly uncomfortable with my words. "I am a man like any other, and to worship me is sacrilege, for I am no god."

"You are indeed a man, but not like any other," I told him. "You are Arthur, and you are revered by many whether you would be or not." I swallowed and went on. "Like it or not you are almost…holy to me. And I find it uncomfortable to look down on you as we fuck. One should not see one's gods being quite so human," I said.

I could see the distress in his face and I sought to assuage him. "Of course as I said, I am yours to command as you will. Anything you ask of me I will do gladly. I only sought to satisfy your curiosity."

His eyes looked into mine. "I am no holy man, no saint," he said. "I am flesh and blood, with the desires of a man, and you, a very attractive woman." His eyes darkened as he looked at me, and I felt my heart begin to pound.

He turned away then and said, "if you do not wish to serve me, then you may leave and send in someone else."

I had displeased him, and that had never been my intent. Tentatively I walked towards him and put my hand on his arm. "I will stay, if that pleases you," I said.

He turned around and looked down at me, eyes still dark with passion. "It does - very much," he said in a husky voice. His mouth came down on mine and he carried me to the bed, covering me with his big body. "Say my name," he breathed.

"My lord, I…"

"No," he said. "Say my name." His eyes looked down into mine, and I felt myself drowning in the green depths.

"Arthur…" I moaned.

Afterwards we lay together, at his insistence, for it was my usual habit to absent myself as soon as I knew he was done with me. "Now I know why you do not vie for my attentions as do the others," Arthur said, bemused. "But do you know why I sometimes call upon you in particular?"

I had no idea, and said as much.

"Many women here seek my favor. More than that, they seek special treatment, wish for me to address slights, both real and perceived. Some seek a more permanent arrangement with me. I do not fool myself that it is because they love me, but because they are ambitious for more than they have."

He turned his green gaze towards me, looking in my eyes. "You request nothing of me, you anticipate my needs as opposed to using our time together to further your own agenda. There are times when I just need to be seen to, and you do that very well. I would feel your loss if you decide not to come to me anymore." He lazily played with my breasts, causing my nipples to stand at attention, and he bent his head to nuzzle at them with his lips.

My breathing became more rapid and I began to squirm. "My lord, I would never decide not to come to you. If you ask it of me, I will come. I could do nothing else." Oh, how I wished that I had never said anything to Vanora, and vowed to keep my own counsel in the future.

Arthur looked at me. "You are free to decide whether you will come to me or not," he said. "I would never order such a thing of you."

I did not wish to contradict him. He could think as he liked, but a request from Arthur would always be an order, and not only for me. Everyone in the keep, save for possibly his knights, considered Arthur's slightest whim to be a direct order. "Please…forget everything that has been said here. It is of no importance. I do not wish to be a bother to you."

He looked at me and smiled. "No, you never do." Turning serious, he asked me, "Do you not aspire to more for yourself?

Surprised, I looked at him. "What else is there?"

"Marriage, a family?"

I almost laughed at him before thankfully remembering whom I was lying with. "And who would marry a whore?" I asked him, speaking frankly.

His brow furrowed. "Women leave here, having found husbands, all the time," he said.

"They are generally not kind, gentle men. I fare better here than I would at the hands of a man like that. At least here I have protection against being beaten too badly and I have a say in whoI give myself to. Such would not be the case if I were to marry," I told him. He was not a stupid man, but could be very naïve about the realities of life.

"So, you intend to stay here, doing this, for the rest of your life?"

I hadn't really thought about it. I did not see that much would ever change for me, so why bother to worry about it? Would that change things? I would take life as it came along, just as I always had. When I did not answer, Arthur went on.

"How would you have wanted your life to be if not for this?" he asked.

Now I knew why leaving right after servicing a man was the best thing to do, if this was how they acted afterwards. "Why do you ask me pointless questions?" I was irritated and unfortunately allowed this to show.

"And where is the little girl who was afraid to displease me?" he teased. "It seems she has found her tongue."

I blushed and looked away. I would try to answer his question, though to dream for more was painful to me. "Yes, I would have a husband and family. A kind man who loves me, or at least treats me well. And I would have children." Tears came to my eyes. "It seems simple enough, yes? But so far out of reach for one such as me."

Seemingly sorry to have upset me, Arthur reached for me, but I pulled away. "Have you finished with me, my lord?" I asked him.

He seemed reluctant to let me go this way, but nodded his head. "You would prefer that I seek my comfort elsewhere from now on?"

I looked at him. "I am honored every time you call upon me, and should you do so again I will come to you," I said.

"I don't want you to be honored," he said. "I want you to enjoy me, as I enjoy you."

While I found the talking and his questions tiresome, I did feel less in awe of this new Arthur.

I leaned down and kissed him fully on the lips. Soft and slow, until I could feel the heat rising between us, and then I broke away. "I will come to you as you wish, and I will enjoy the pleasures your body gives me," I said. "In return I ask only one thing."

Arthur smiled at me. "Ah, so it begins. Do you become as greedy as the others then, little one?"

I shook my head. "I only ask that my hopes and dreams for the future remain off limits for discussion."

"May I ask why?" Arthur seemed surprised.

"I have little enough that is my own; I merely wish to keep to myself that which is."

Arthur nodded thoughtfully and then said, "Easily done. I should feel relieved, as I find it tiresome when women prattle on about their desires for the future. With you, funnily enough I find myself intrigued."

"You shouldn't be," I said. "There is very little to me other than what you see before you." I began shrugging my clothes back on, putting my hair back into place.

He watched me as I dressed and then said, "What you want for yourself may not be entirely out of reach. I am not without influence, you know."

This time, I did laugh at him. "Can your influence give me my virtue back? Erase all the men I've had between my legs, or find a good man who would want such a woman to wife?"

He flinched at my crudity, but I did not apologize. "You can't fix the world for everyone, my lord. Just work on your part of it and let the rest be." His eyes had sadness in them, and I came to him, kissing his forehead and soothing his brow.

"Do not take so much to heart," I whispered. "Besides," I said in a teasing voice, "If you keep this up I will not come see you again. My purpose is to ease your troubles, not add to them."

He looked up at me and nodded. "I will not mention it again, but do not so easily dismiss what I have said."

I smiled at him, but as soon as I was out the door his words were forgotten.