Disclaimer: I don't own it.
MAJOR SPOILERS for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Don't say I didn't warn you.
This poem isn't meant to be serious or perfect. It is a silly piece of rhyme.
HBP in Verse
Fudge was always an idiot
He rocks up to the tune of a portrait
Complaining about what he got
The new minister is a little late.
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Cissy and Bella out for a walk
Off to see dear Severus, the fake,
Cissy really wants to spill and talk
She wants him to save Drake.
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Harry snoring by the window
Dumbie appears and makes some noise
The Dursleys, shocked, watch them go
Man this Horace has no poise.
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Safe and snug at the Burrow
OWLs and Quidditch Captain
All want to kill Fleur before tomorrow
Follow Draco to B & B – he goes in.
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They jump on that locomotive
Harry is stupid and plays spy
Malfoy is cruel after sharing his motive
Stupid spy left bloody with wide eye.
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Snape is DADA, Horace is Potions
This doesn't seem at all sage.
We go through all the schooly motions
Harry learns things from HBP's page.
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Memories in Dumbie's hours
Quidditch and bad play
Ron and Hermione's relationship sours
Harry follows Drake all day.
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What about poor Ron?
Or should I say Won Won?
Then Harry and Ginny shared a kiss
Hear those H/Hr shippers hiss.
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We're on the trail of spirit things
Snape and Malfoy look a little suss
Apparating is faster than wings
Dumbie and Harry involved in a fuss.
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The undead being such a blast
Dumbie is in such a bad state
Harry gets him out fast -
Woo! It's war with those we hate!
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We all knew Snape was an evil git
What gets us is that Dumbie knew squat
He also didn't expect that Avada hit
He drank that foul stuff and for what?
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The Death Eaters leave
With Snape (who is the HBP)
Leaving good guys to breathe
Dead Dumbie for all to see.
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Now Harry wants to hit back
He is giving school the flick
He'll watch Fleur in that wedding sack
Then do something thick.